Disclaimer:Inuyasha is mine. All the characters, his cute ears, everything. MINE! Wait...,hold on! What are you doing with thosepitchforks, and those ropes?NOOOO, GET BACK! WAIT, NO, THE PAIN, THE PAIN! ALRIGHTI DON'T OWN HIM!I DON'T! MAKE THEM STOP, MAKE 'EM STOP! IT HURTS,AHHHHHH!
Also, special thanksto Kohana for editing this story for me. I really appreciate it. And for uploading it for me. Thanks soooo much!huggles
Inuyasha meets theevil narrator Yume!
Staring... drumroll
Me, as Yume the narrator, Inuyasha, Kagome, and everybody else!
Narrator: As almost everyday starts out, it's wonderfully sunny, the sky is bright and there'snot a cloud within sight. Over to my left you see Inuyasha and Kagome bickering by the well, on my far right by a river you see Miroku touching Sango's butt. Lets go see Kagome and Inuyasha first shall we?
Inuyasha: "Kagome you're always going back home when we need your help finding the jewel shards!"
Kagome: "Well I'm going to flunk out of school if I don't Inuyasha!"
Inuyasha: "Well maybe you need to quit school then!"
Narrator: "Kagome," I whisper to her, "Are you going to take that kind of crap from him?" (By the way she hears my voice inside her head) "Push him into the well!"
Kagome: "Hey that's a great idea," she says aloud. Kagome gives Inuyasha an evil and slightly demented look.
Inuyasha: "What? You're really going to quit school?"
Narrator: I control her mind. (Hehe!)
Kagome: "Inuyasha," she says in a husky voice, "Come closer to me." Inuyasha takes tentative steps toward Kagome, and looking very stupid I might add,until heis standing next to Kagome by the well. "Lean closer, Inuyasha, closer, closer." Kagome grabs Inuyasha by his fire rat kimono and shoves him into the well.
Inuyasha:You can hear him yelling the whole way down. "Kagome!"
Kagome laughs with joy and starts having a giggle fit. She goes into the woods and comes across a polar bear moaning on the ground.-
Kagome:"It's as if it has gas," she exclaims.
The camera looks up to the sky and you hear a big gassy explosion. The camera fades back to Kagome and the now feeling better polar bear. Kagome caught the brunt of the gassy explosion and now her hair is sticking straight back. The polar bear starts moaning again, Kagome screams and ducks to take cover behind a tree stump. She looks over the stump tentatively.And, gasp! The polar bear has just pooped out a purple fairy. Now that the polar bear has been ungassed it walks away. But he turns one back for a second.
Polar Bear: "I shouldn't have eaten that fairy." He walks on.
Fairy:"I'm free! I'm free at last," she screams with joy. "I'm free of the polar bear's butt." She flies off, leaving Kagome standing dumbfounded.
Inuyasha: He climbed out of the well. "That damn Kagome! Wait till I get a hold of her!"
Narrator: I make the clouds turn dark and gray you cansee lightning bolts in the background, I'm practically as powerful as Zeus of Olympus! "Mwahahahahaha! Inuyasha," I yell in my almighty and powerful voice, "from now on… you will be my servant!"
Inuyasha: "Who said that?"
Narrator: "Chicken butt!"
Inuyasha: "Really?"
Narrator: "No! You Moron! Are you really that dense? I am Yume the evil narrator and I have called on you to be my slave."
Inuyasha: "Who's Yume? I've never heard of you."
Narrator: "That's because Kohana is stillwriting the story that her and I are in. You butt monkey slave!"
Inuyasha: "Is that so? Well what happens if I don't want to be your slave?"
Narrator: "Chicken butt."
Inuyasha: "Really?"
Narrator: "No you fat lard! Now to answer your question, I will turn you into a brass monkey. You know what I'm talking about. The ones with the little cymbols! Mwahahahahaha!"
Inuyasha: "So I'm still not going to be your slave."
Narrator: "Fool! You dare defy me?I'll show you." I made the thunder grow louder adn the lightning flashed dangerously close to the half demonand the wind started to slap at his face. "I'll show you," I screamed. Then I hurled cats at him, fat cats with claws, big cats also. Oh yes one last thing a baseball. All the cats hit him at once and clawed at his face, they tore at his kimono. Then they magically disappeared, poof they vanished…. Last, but not least, the baseball came hurtling at him from the sky and hit him in the head.
Narrator: "Inuyasha that is your Warning! Do not dare defy me again!" I laugh silently to myself, the idiot.
Sango: "Miroku! Stop touching my butt!"-You hear a big slap- (Ouch that's got to hurt)
Miroku: "Well maybe if it weren't so big then we probably wouldn't have any problems."
Sango:"Are you saying my butt's big!"
Miroku: "No, I'm saying it's humungously large."
Narrator: Men these days! (No offense to any guys I'm not a sexist) "Sango," I whisper to her, "don't take his crap, order Kilala to burn off his butt into a rice crispy treat... Nice and crispy."
Sango: A sly smile spreads across her face. "Oh Kilala," she said in a singsong voice. Kilala does her kewl cat pooffy thing, and Sango gets onto her back.
Miroku: "Sango, what are you doing?" Miroku asked, with real fear in his voice.
Sango: She let out a war cry,it soundedlike a cow dying or something, and screamed, "Burn Miroku! Burn!"
Narrator: Miroku ran to the water and started to drown, and fear clung to his very being, he screamed, but he just took in water, then he died… Nah just kidding how could I kill off Miroku? He's to cool. Even if he's a lecherous monk. Anyway what really happened after the "burn Miroku burn thing", He did run to the water but he hid in a dead log with a bunch of frogs and turtles, where he carried out the rest of his days living as a very large frogbecause he was afraid of Sango. (FYI, I don't really mean "all" of the rest of his days, just along time cause I need him for some of my other fanfics, anyways back to the story.) He lived off of lake water, bugs and worms. He made friends with the turtles and frogs, he learned to speak their language and was never heard from again. Hee, Hee, Hee, I love being narrator. Oh but what is this off in the distance? It looks like Kikyou and Sesshoumaru they seem to be arguing.
Sesshoumaru: "I know you took it Kikyou," he shouts. (And may I remind you that he never shouts so he must be mad)
Kikyou: "Take what," She asks innocently.
Sesshoumaru: "You know what you have taken," he starts to cry. "Why Kikyou? "Why? You took it all…. My foundation, my blue eyeshadow, my skanky tube top dress that is thigh length! All of it I say! All of it! That's not even the worst of it! You took my CD collection, Kelly Clarkson, the Backstreet Boys, Ashley Simpson, and my favorite, Nsync. How could you? How could you," he sobbed.
Kikyou: "Yes Sesshoumaru I took it all but you want to know something?"
Sesshoumaru: "What," he asked, tears still running down his face.
Kikyou: "It looks better on me than it does you! Hahahaaaaa."
Narrator: Then everyone in the Inuyasha group except Miroku shows up around Kikyou and Sesshoumaruchanting "fight, fight, fight." Everyone but Inuyasha is chanting for Sesshoumaru, bacause he's cheering for Kikyou! Ugh, why! She's an evil hag!
Sesshoumaru: I'll kill you for this Kikyou," he says in a fit of rage, tears still shinging on his cheeks.He runsforward and starts slashing at her with his sword.
Narrator: "But I want to kill her off," I whine. "Everybody freeze." And so they all froze and watched in horror as the Titanic falls from the sky and lands on top of Kikyou. For you to imagine that better, the camera rewinds back for a few moments and comes right to the part where the Titanic hits Kikyou. Somebody yells, "squish!" as it hits her.
Inuyasha: "Kikyooooou,"he yells, as he sees her dead mangled body underneath the ship, legspoking out like the wicked witch of the east's did whenDorthey landed her house on her "What have you done,"he asked in horror.
Narrator:"Um…well lets see. I dropped the titanic on her for your information."
Inuyasha: "You'll pay," he says with menace in his voice.
Narrator: "No I wont, you will." Lightning flashes in the sky. "Happy bunny, happy bunny, happy bunny," I repeat a couple of times. Inuyasha screams with fear, hearing the evil white bunny's name. Then I turned Shippou into a little brass monkey with a top hat because he gets on my nerves. Everyone (not including Inuyasha because he's still screaming with madness.) stares at Shippou, the brass monkey and gawks at him with awe. Everyone forms into a group even Sesshoumaru, and starts to sing and dance to Brass Monkey, by the Beastie Boys.
Every one in the group including Sesshaumaru excluding Inuyasha: Oh Brass monkey…The funky monkey. Brass monkey that funky monkey…
Narrator: And they the song over and over and over again, 'till the end of time. (Or at least until I write another fan-fic. Just like with Miroku living as a frog)
P.S: If You actually have ever heard that song before you would know what I'm talking about and could imagine it better.
