Twilight Lunatics

Edward

I'm sad. I don't own Twilight. ~SnSVI~

People who are annoying

People who are being annoyed


Jacob

Edward: Hi Jake.

Jacob: Hey du-

*Edward punches Jacob in face*

Jacob: WHAT THE HELL? SON OF A BITCH!

Edward: BELLA! NESSIE! JACOB'S CUSSING AT ME!

*Bella and Nessie come out*

Bella: What's your problem, Jake?

Nessie *now 16* : Yeah Jake, he's my dad. So stop acting like a bitch.

*They go inside*

Jacob: Filthy bloodsucker.

Edward:*shrugging* I don't give a shit about you.

Jacob: MOTHERF-

Edward: BELLA! NESSIE!


Jasper

Edward: Jazz, what's this?

Jasper: My Confederate uniform.

Edward: What happens if I pull the string?

Jasper: Don't pull the string.

Edward: Why not?

Jasper: Just put it down.

Edward: Okay...

* Jasper goes back to reading*

Edward:... I'M PULLING THE STRING!

Jasper: NO!

*Whole uniform falls apart*

Edward: OH YEAH I PULLED THE STRING! AIN'T NOTIN' YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT BITCH!

Jasper:...

Edward: Jazz?

Jasper:...

Edward: ALICE! JAZZ SAID HE WANTS TO GO SHOPPIN' WITH YOU!

Jazz: NO!

Alice: Come on Jazzie!

Jasper: SON OF A BITCH!


Rosalie

Edward: Rose?

Rose: Yes Edward?

Edward: Bella's really pretty, isn't she?

Rose: I guess.

Edward: And she has a daughter.

Rose: I suppose she does.

Edward: And she's smart.

Rose: Whatever.

Edward: And she has a gift.

Rose: Your point is?

Edward: I guess she's just better than you.

Rose:...

Edward: Rose?

Rose: GO AWAY!

* Rose throws a mirror at him, it falls to the floor and shatters*

Edward: 7 YEARS BAD LUCK!

Rose: You seriously think I believe in that shit?

* her head explodes from it being so huge*

Edward: I WAS RIGHT BITCH!


Alice

Edward: Hey Alice.

Alice: What?

Edward: Wanna go shopping?

Alice: AWESOME!

*At the mall*

Edward: You go ahead, Alice. I'll find us a parking space.

Alice: Thanks.

* An hour later*

Alice: It's been an hour! Where is he- O MY GOD!

* Sees her Porsche smashed against a 2004 Ford Expedition XLT with a note on the half- off bumper*

Alice *reading note* :' OOOPS. ~Love Edward'

Alice: SHIT! EEDDWARD!


REVIEWS ARE AWESOME!

~ SweetN'SpicyVanillaIcing~