Twilight Lunatics
Edward
I'm sad. I don't own Twilight. ~SnSVI~
People who are annoying
People who are being annoyed
Jacob
Edward: Hi Jake.
Jacob: Hey du-
*Edward punches Jacob in face*
Jacob: WHAT THE HELL? SON OF A BITCH!
Edward: BELLA! NESSIE! JACOB'S CUSSING AT ME!
*Bella and Nessie come out*
Bella: What's your problem, Jake?
Nessie *now 16* : Yeah Jake, he's my dad. So stop acting like a bitch.
*They go inside*
Jacob: Filthy bloodsucker.
Edward:*shrugging* I don't give a shit about you.
Jacob: MOTHERF-
Edward: BELLA! NESSIE!
Jasper
Edward: Jazz, what's this?
Jasper: My Confederate uniform.
Edward: What happens if I pull the string?
Jasper: Don't pull the string.
Edward: Why not?
Jasper: Just put it down.
Edward: Okay...
* Jasper goes back to reading*
Edward:... I'M PULLING THE STRING!
Jasper: NO!
*Whole uniform falls apart*
Edward: OH YEAH I PULLED THE STRING! AIN'T NOTIN' YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT BITCH!
Jasper:...
Edward: Jazz?
Jasper:...
Edward: ALICE! JAZZ SAID HE WANTS TO GO SHOPPIN' WITH YOU!
Jazz: NO!
Alice: Come on Jazzie!
Jasper: SON OF A BITCH!
Rosalie
Edward: Rose?
Rose: Yes Edward?
Edward: Bella's really pretty, isn't she?
Rose: I guess.
Edward: And she has a daughter.
Rose: I suppose she does.
Edward: And she's smart.
Rose: Whatever.
Edward: And she has a gift.
Rose: Your point is?
Edward: I guess she's just better than you.
Rose:...
Edward: Rose?
Rose: GO AWAY!
* Rose throws a mirror at him, it falls to the floor and shatters*
Edward: 7 YEARS BAD LUCK!
Rose: You seriously think I believe in that shit?
* her head explodes from it being so huge*
Edward: I WAS RIGHT BITCH!
Alice
Edward: Hey Alice.
Alice: What?
Edward: Wanna go shopping?
Alice: AWESOME!
*At the mall*
Edward: You go ahead, Alice. I'll find us a parking space.
Alice: Thanks.
* An hour later*
Alice: It's been an hour! Where is he- O MY GOD!
* Sees her Porsche smashed against a 2004 Ford Expedition XLT with a note on the half- off bumper*
Alice *reading note* :' OOOPS. ~Love Edward'
Alice: SHIT! EEDDWARD!
REVIEWS ARE AWESOME!
~ SweetN'SpicyVanillaIcing~
