WANTS, NEEDS, and CONFUSION: A Prequel to 'When Things Change'
Just like every day, for the past few monthes, I found myself staring at the same person. He was so perfect, at least to me. The way he moved, acted. Draco Malfoy did what he wanted, mostly, disregarding the so-called rules. I just don't think he really cared what happened to him. I wish that I could do that, just once in my life.
He had changed a lot, Malfoy had, and I took noticed. Or at least he seemed to have changed from the snivelling brat he used to be.
You cannot trust him Harrysaid the faint voice. It seemed to be getting weaker now, than it used to be. I had started to hear it soon after the fight with Voldemort, in my forth year. I still have no idea where it comes from; it just seems to be there. I would have told somebody, but as Ron told me, hearing voices wasn't a good thing in either world.
I sighed, for what seemed to be the fifth time that evening, causing half the table, including Ron and Hermione, to give him strange looks.
"Are you ok, Harry?" She asked.
I didn't want to lie to her, but I answered, "As always." She, of course, kept staring at me for a moment. I shook my head at her. There was nothing wrong. Besides, there would no good in worrying her over this. Ron had returned to his dinner.
hr
Yet another day. Another day, where I can't seem to find what's bothering me. Another day of watching Draco, not noticing me.
I don't know how it started, my obsession with him. There's a voice in my head telling me I hate him, though my heart says different. I wouldn't say I love him though. I don't even know him, really. My obsession since the end of my fourth year.
Sometimes I wonder if Voldemort has something to do with it. Or even Draco himself. I wonder why he would want for me to feel this way, either of them. But, it would be too petty for Voldemort. Too indirect for Draco, I would hope.
Once again, I sighed. It's becoming a habit. As always, they stare at me, wondering what could possilbly be wrong! /the golden boy can't be depressed!/ I thought, sarcastically. /No. Can't have that./ I have to be what they expect me to be, or else become a pariah to be feared. No worries, I'll do what's expected of me, at least for a little while.
I think Hermione might actually understand, though. She doesn't seem any happier with her life than I am, though she hides it well. I asked one time, why she always had her head in a book, she replied that it was easier than being around other people, sometimes. Then she made some joke that some of the books where a hell of a lot more interesting then some people. Hermione leered a bit when saying it and smirking at the same time, which was unsettling to say the least, as well as amusing on second thought.
But I would have to be sure. I wouldn't want to loose her friendship over something that I'm not ever sure about. Or she might not understand just how miserable I am. How I can be like this.
I should be happy on all accounts, I have friends, some so close that they feel like family. I have fame, though, how I hate it. I have riches, though I have no real use for it at the moment, aside from school spendings. The only actual down part is my uncle and cousin, though aunt Petunia usually tries to make it a bit better for me, when she is aware of what's happening, which is, unfortunately, not often.
I laugh this time, and everyone returns to what they are doing, they probably think I just laughed at somebody's stupid joke. I let them beleive what they want. Yes, everything has to stay normal.
I look towards the Slytherin table once again, just as Malfoy leaves. I don't understand, why but I want desperately to follow him, I quickly excuse myself, but when I get close to the door, I hear Ron say whispering something to Hermione.
"What, are we not good enough for him to eat with us!" he says, smirking at her. I'm too annoyed to hear what Hermione says in return; I decide to leave anyway. I'll find out what's bugging him later.
I find Malfoy quickly enough. I tried to follow him, but he heard me almost immediately.
"What do you want, Potter." He glared at me with those pale grey eye's, but he didn't actually sound hostile.
"I don't really what anything, Malfoy, I just wanted too talk to you." He actually looked amused.
"You want to talk to me? I don't know about you, but I don't think where friends, unless I missed a memo stating we are."
I almost smiled. At least he hadn't walked off yet. "Why can't we be friends?" I asked him.
"We can never be friends. Aside from being the boy who lived, you're to goody for me."
I watch him the whole time he speaks. He really is beautiful. I could easily find myself loving him, if I'm not careful.
"Potter, you're staring at me. Why?"
He really did look mildly curious, but I could only shrug. /you're amazing/ I thought, or at least in my mind.
"I really would like to be your friend Malfoy. I would apologize for declining your original offer, if it would help. I really am sorry for that, you know." He seemed dumbstruck, but he just stared at me. Why does everyone feel the need to stare?!
"You don't even know me, or like me, according to past experiences, and now you want to be friends?"
"I don't care. I've made up my mind to get to know you. I can get over everything you did to me. You have never seriously hurt me. Though, on second thought, you did hurt my friends." /Maybe I shouldn't do this./ I turned to leave, but he stopped me.
"Potter! Wait. I wouldn't mind talking to you, as long as Weasly and Granger stay out of this."
"Agreed." I smile at him, for real this time. He frowns a bit, looking baffled.
"Tomorrow after dinner?"
"Yes." Then I do walk away, leaving him to stare.
hr
"Where did you go?" was the first thing I heard when I went back to my dorm room. Ron. Everyone else had fallen asleep immediately after dinner.
"Nowhere. I just felt like walking around." I quickly got ready for bed while we talked.
Ron grinned slyly. "Meeting a girl weren't you. Good for you. Just make sure to leave the others for the rest of us blokes."
I did my best not to roll my eyes at him. "No. I just wasn't hungry anymore and decided to take a walk." I climbed into bed.
"Sure you did. I saw Padma sneaking around the halls as well, when I tried to find you."
"Whatever, Ron. I'm going to sleep."
He said his goodnights and soon after, I was sleep as well, still thinking of Malfoy.
hr
I left quickly I finished eating, but I ran into Padma Patil, who had been going in the opposite way.
We both apologized to each other and moved to get up. She stared for a second before hurrying off in the opposite direction.
/Odd.../ I thought, but then continued to around the area that I had talked to Draco the day before.
I waited for over an hour, but he doesn't show up.
hr
The next morning I headed to class, with Hermione and Ron walking in front of me. Ron kept trying to talk her up, but she mostly ignored him. I don't know what to think about it.
We arrived at potions several minutes early, due to Hermione nagging us to get out of bed. I hadn't wanted to get up. They had to literally drag me out of bed. I put on my stupid glasses. Everything seemed to really annoy me that morning. I wished that I could burn my clothes when I was tossed into them. And toss the glasses in with them.
Honestly, Hermione had no problem waltzing into the boy's dorm. Then dressing the boys in it.
So that's where I was. Angry that Draco hadn't arrived. Angry about being forced to get up. I shouldn't have been surprised that he didn't show up, I really shouldn't.
I think I was glaring, because Ron suddenly shook me, knocking me out of my thoughts. "What's wrong with you?" he asks. "You looked like you wanted to murder the desk."
"Nothing's wrong, Ron. I just didn't feel like getting up this morning."
His eyes widen. "Oh, did you have one of those dreams? Kept you up all night, did it mate?!" He continues, but I ignore him. Luckily, Hermione starts talking to me.
"Are you sure you're ok, Harry." she whispers it to me. I glance at Ron, but he's still going on, now on the dream he had last night... and going into detail. Too much detail.
"It's really nothing. I just tried to meet someone last night, but they stood me up."
"You're dating?" Hermione brown eye's show her surprise.
"No. I just wanted to talk. But?" I shrugged, not knowing what else to say.
Luckily, I was saved from saying more when the rest on the people started to come in from breakfast. Malfoy was there, but as becoming his habit of late didn't even glance at our little group. I once again scowled at the space in front of us. Snape soon arrived, just in time, to start class.
I think I was gritting my teeth by the time that class was over; fortunately, Snape didn't seem to notice. I was able to get to the end of class without bringing his attention on me, I was thankful. I thought that I was free, away from Malfoy at least, but Snape called for me to stay. Ron had left with everyone else but Hermione spared me a sorrowful look before gathering her things. I waited for Snape to say something, but then he left as well.
I looked around, confused, wondering what the hell was going on. Then I noticed Draco was still standing in the room, by the door.
"What are you still doing here?" I tried to sound as pissed as I felt, but it didn't come out that way.
"I can't talk to you, Potter." He said.
"Why not?"
"You know why I can't." No I don't, at least not anymore.
"No, I don't."
"I just wanted to tell you not to talk to me."
/Double standard, Malfoy. You're talking to me right now!/
"And don't bother waiting for Snape to come back." With that he left with me staring at his back.
"Damn." I stalk out after a second, to get to my next class in time.
hr
"What did Snape want, Harry." Hermione asked.
Ron stared at us blankly. "What did Snape do?"
"Ron, he held Harry back after class, didn't you notice?" Hermione questioned him. I beginning to think that Ron is just as oblivious as he acts, something that I thought wasn't possible.
Should I tell her what happened. No, I can't risk it. "Nothing. He just said his usual."
"I'm sorry, Harry."
"About what? Snape isn't nearly as bad on Harry as he is with everyone else. He made me redo my entire potion!" I watched his face turn red. Though at the moment I found his righteous anger amusing.
Hermione just shook her head in disgust. "You did the whole think wrong. One step further and it would have blown up in your face. Snape saved you from complete embarrassment."
I listened to them go on, until once again, I was lost in thought.
I still needed to see Malfoy. I knew that, but he refused to even speak to me. I didn't know why, maybe these years between us meant more to him than they did to me. Maybe my rejecting him really got to him more than I thought it did. I could understand his attitude towards me and my friends, even if I didn't agree with it. It's a by-product of being raised a Malfoy. But was he anything more than a Malfoy?
But I didn't really care, I would get him to at least speak to me.
hr
I manage to corner him after curfew. After another run in with Padma. /What is she up too?/ I waited until everyone had gone to bed then got out the map, to see if he was out that night, as he sometimes was. I had just never had the nerve to go look for him. He was walking on a corridor close to the Slytherin common room, moving away.
I crawled out of the bed, grabbing the cloak on my way on the room. That was easy enough, no one even stirred.
It didn't take long to find him; I think that he took a walk in circles at some point, going past the same area a couple times. I decided not to think about it.
While lost in thoughts, I forgot to pay attention to where I was going and ran into something.
"Didn't I tell you to fuck off, or something like that, Potter." I heard his familiar drawl, and quickly glanced up, blushing. I ran right into Draco.
"I really don't see why I should, Draco."
"Don't call me Draco." He tried to sound like he normally would, but I saw the slight smile.
"We had an agreement." I replied.
"I changed my mind." He lifted one of eyebrows as he said it.
"I really want to get to know you."
"Yet, you haven't told me why." I shrugged slightly. He laughed. "You don't know!" Incredulous. "You've become my stalker for a reason you don't know!"
"I wouldn't say that I am stalking you." I looked down to see my feet shifting around, even more nervous than I was before.
"Well, it is a matter of opinion. Though I can't say that I mind too much." I look up sharply, but he is no longer looking at me.
"Potter, I will see you tomorrow night. here." And abruptly he left.
hr
It took forever for Ron to go to sleep that night, damn it! I was this close to smothering him with his pillow... but then finally his tossing and turning ended! Finally! I left as quickly as possible, hoping that I wasn't too late. Or that it wasn't another trick.
Once again, I waited. I almost believed that he wouldn't be there, like last time, but he was.
"Over here," he whispered, and bade me to follow him.
I did, but after several minutes of following close behind, I started to get worried. Others would be leaving dinner soon. Moreover, I was sure that we passed that statue before. But finally we stopped at a door that I'm sure wasn't there the last time we passed the area.
After he leads me in he turns to stare at me. I don't think he's even sure why he agreed to meet me here.
I decided to ignore it and look around. He's lead me to what looks like a common room, only there doesn't seem to be any other rooms attatched to it. "What is this?"
"The room of requirement. I found it last year, Professor Snape told me what it was." He turned and dropped on the only couch in the room, upholstered in dark grey. "Are you going to sit, potter?" Draco drawled out. His confidence seemed to have come back rather quickly.
"Right there?" There was no place else to sit. Aside from the couch, there was only a table and fireplace.
"No, on the floor." He must have seen that I was still uncertain because he added, "Of course, here." He patted the area beside him. It was a small couch. "The Room of Requirement decides what you need and gives it to you. Though I guess this is adequate."
I could only nod.
"You asked me here, potter. Now speak." Irritation.
"I don't know why I did, Malfoy. But I was serious." I really didn't know what to say now that I had him here right in front of me. "But I honestly don't know what to say."
"Great. Perfect-Potter is speechless." It actually made me smile, oddly.
"Do you really think I'm perfect?" An honest question, not a come-on.
He's quiet. "Should I?"
"It's your opinion I want to know." I answered.
"Fine. I think you're a goody-two-shoes, who dresses like a slob, and acts like he can do anything he wants and the rest of the world would just bow down at his feet. Which isn't to far from the truth, as the past has shown. Though, you're behaving a bit oddly at the moment." This time it's enough to make me laugh, and once again, I'm subjected to stares.
"Are you sane, potter?" He leaned forward to look at me, since, in laughing, I've nearly buried my face into the back cushion of the couch. I love the way his hair falls, as he does it.
"Yes." I sighed, this time in happiness. "It's starting to seem that there's nothing I can do, Malfoy." He seemed confused, which is starting to be a semi-permanent state. "I hate being me, sometimes."
That startled him.
"Actually, I don't hate being me. I hate being who everyone seems to want me to be."
If anything he just looked more baffled. "I don't understand you."
"I don't think anyone does. But then I don't think anyone understands you, do they." At that he kind of grins. Only a small one, but still a grin.
"I don't think anyone would be able to understand that screw up mind of yours, Potter."
I shrug. "It's probably true."
"Do I want to? It might an interesting challenge. So I can prove whether you're actually any different, or still the same stuck up jerk I've always perceived you to be."
"You're calling me stuck up?!" I couldn't help it, but that one actually got to me. "You should be saying that to yourself, Malfoy."
"Maybe I am, but I realize I am." I think he said it just to be contrary.
"You're the one who isn't sane." He shrugs as well.
"You might be enough to amuse someone as insane as I am. At least for a little while."
He maked me smile again, but he didn't stare at me oddly this time. "I can try."
I sat there for a minute, just starting to relax. But then he speaks.
"It's almost morning." he sighed and leaned back into the couch as well, I just nodded.
"Does that mean I have to leave?" I think I whined.
"So eager to stay here, potter?" He laughed at me, and just seemed to laugh harder when I blushed.
"Well, I did finally get you here." I mumbled.
"If it makes you feel any better, did almost enjoy this." He tossed his hair out of his face as he says it, making me laugh at the small joke.
Unexpectedly he pulled me up off the couch, though not quite roughly. "Come on Potter, it will be morning soon. Unless you want get caught."
"I don't worry too much about it." He looked at me quizzically. When I said nothing more he just shrugged and continued pulling me towards the door.
"That eager to get away from me?" I ask.
"Yes. Don't push it, Potter." He smirked and pushed me out ahead of him.
"Wait!" I stopped him before he gets too far in the other direction.
"Tomorrow. Same time. Here." He said before I say anything else. I smiled at his retreating back, but then hear a scraping behind me.
I turn and see... Mrs. Norris? I laughed at the cat, who seemed to be annoyed. It appeared Filch wasn't right behind her for once.
"Mrs. Norris." came his rough singsong voice.
But I spoke to soon.
"Potter. Out of bed so late?" He barked.
Panicked I try and hide the cloak under my robes. Luckily, he didn't seem to notice the movement. "Yes, sir. Umm... I was-" going out of my mind trying to find the right excuse. But the opportunity to get away presented itself before I could.
"I thought I told to get to your room, Potter." It was funny watching Filches head pop up.
"You knew?" Filch.
"Potter was with me, making up a potion." Snape glared at the squalid man.
"But, Professor, he's in the hall at 2:00!"
/2:00!/ I thought in surprise. Draco and I talked longer than I thought.
"I now what time it is!" Snape hissed. /Why is he defending me?/ Come to think about it, he had been acting weird lately. "Potter. Get to your dorm now." He turned his glare on me, before the look turned to something else. I turned and left before I got the chance to analyse it. I've had enough for today and desperately want my bed.
"Slytherins!" I here Filch mutter behind my back. I nearly turned back in shock, but no, he's probably just referring to Snape.
hr
"Wake up Harry!" Damn. It's him. I groan as press the pillow over my head as I tried to block out the noise. I am not a morning person.
"Come on, Harry." He whines. He tried to pounce on me to wake me up. Tried. He would have made it if not for the shielding spell I put around my bed before I went to sleep. I laughed as I heard the thud of him hitting the floor.
"Oww! Harrryyy!" More whining.
"Just fuck off, Ron." I mummbled. I swear he's irritating!
Silence. What... Oh crap! I said that out loud, didn't I?
"What did you say to me?!" I can picture his face turning as red as a lobster
"Nothing. I'm getting up." Before he can say anything more I ran into the bathroom.
hr
"Something is wrong with Harry." that was what I heard when I came down from the boys dorm. Ron was whispering to Hermione on the couch.
"I'm sure it's nothing, Ron. Leave Harry alone." She sounded a bit peeved.
"He told me to fuck off, Hermione." He huffed. "Then said I was irritating."
"And I'm sure that he wasn't the first person to say that to you, and he won't be the last. Now fuck off, you're irritating me and I'm trying to read."
"Hermione!" I couldn't help but laugh. It was loud enough to bring his attention back to me. "Harry, help. See what I have to deal with." Yes, talking about her is the perfect way to win her over.
Just to annoy Ron, Hermione put down the book just to slip her arm into mine and walked me out the door. Ron was left staring as it shut behind us. It didn't take long for him to catch up. Luckily, I managed to pull out of Hermione's embrace before we reached the great hall, therefore relieving myself of listening to Ron grinding his teeth in frustration behind us.
hr
(Draco's Point of View)
"What are you doing here Potter." Is he really stalking me? I suddenly wished that Blaise hadn't left to go to bed.
I had been studying happily by my self, in the library, but Potter unexpectedly shows up!
"Don't know." /I think he's blushing... I can't believe it! He is actually sitting beside me! I didn't ask him to sit down!/ But Potter was. Very closely.
"Figures." /he's turning even redder!/ "Potter, sorry to tell you this, but you look like a tomato."
"I don't..." He started, angrily. Finally, there's the fire that I'm used to. He was quickly returning to his normal pallor.
"You do. So, what are you telling the odd couple about your disappearances?" I couldn't help but snicker when thinking of Weasel.
"Odd couple? I guess they would be if they were to ever get together. I told them that Snape has given me detention. Ron believes me, actually, not sure that that's a good thing though. I don't think Hermione does, but she doesn't want to say anything about it."
"I guess that's it's true that the Weasel is as dense as a board."
"Malfoy..."
"What! You know it's true." I was surprised when he didn't say anything more. I was even more surprised that he seemed to be hiding a grin.
Who knows, maybe he really was more than he seemed.
hr
(a week's worth of "detentions" later)
(Harry's Point of View)
"Potter, you still haven't answered my questioned." Draco lounged on the couch beside me. Yes, the room hadn't changed a bit. Not that I minded sharing a couch. Yes, it aloud me to be very close to him indeed...
"Potter..." I glance up. It turned out I had been staring at his hand, close to mine. In fact nearly touching mine.
"What?"
"What is it you want with me?" The same old question... Was it my imagination or did he lean a bit closer.
"Want?" Out of nervousness, I leaned back. Away from him.
"Yes, Potter. What do you want?" He was grinning at me!
/Think fast/ I decided to change the subject.
"Why do you call me Potter?" Well, I couldn't answer his question and have him up and leave; now could i?
"Because I hate you." His grin turned into his usual smirk. I asked for that one, didn't I.
"More than you hate you father?" Yes, he had eventually admitted that to me during on of our talks. He told me that he probably hated his father more than anyone.
He's silent.
"I wouldn't mind if you called me Harry." I offered this to him. I wouldn't make him answer my question. I didn't want to hurt him, that was the last thing I wanted.
"Why do you act differently towards me, Potter? As I recall you hated me as much as I hated you." He left me speechless for a moment.
"I don't hate you, Draco." I liked to say his name aloud. He didn't say anything this time. Maybe he doesn't mind.
"I still hate you. Don't call me Draco!" Draco hissed. He jumped off the couch, grabbing his cloak on the way.
"If you really hated me as much as you say you do, you wouldn't be here." I challenged, following him to the door.
"What do you think I'm doing Potter? I'm leaving. Don't bother me again." I couldn't help it. I felt myself get lost in his eyes, a molten colour in his anger.
"Wait!" I seemed to be saying this a lot lately. "Do you really want to know?" I walked closer to him, him watching my every move. Well, I had wanted to have his attention. I had it now. He didn't say anything and I take my chance. ...stay away from him...
I kissed him.
But my euphoria of feeling his lips on mine didn't last. The next thing I knew I was doubled over clutching my stomach. Draco had punched me. Draco had never resorted to violence; at least he'd never had it in him to hit me before...
"Did you think I like you Potter!" He spat. "I told you over and over again that I hate you, but it never sunk in did it!" I don't know what came over him at that moment. I suppose that I could have defended myself against his assault, but I didn't. I just lay there, taking his blows.
I could have helped the tears I spilt when he kicked one last time, i just didn't see the point in hiding them from him. I thought I saw something there in his eyes as he backed away, but I don't know for sure.
He ran.
hr
(Draco's Point of View)
/What does Potter want?!/ I had acquiesced to his plan of 'getting to know you', but I still could't say I'm any closer to understanding him.
He'd always been nothing but an egotistical jerk /i should probably direct some of those words towards myself, shouldn't I/ who acted like everyone not like him was bad. Like all gryffindors. But something is different now. I don't understand.
I got ready to leave, having had enough. I didn't feel like dealing with Potter right now. After talking to him, it always felt like I'd bared my soul for all to see. I didn't want for him to see it. /It's not going to be Potter that I tell all of my innermost thought to!/ He would probably take them and run to Dumbledore with my secrets. So I left. Or tried to leave.
"I'm leaving. Don't bother me again." I almost made it out, but once again, he stopped me. /Can't he take a hint?/ I didn't know why, but I'm suddenly angry with him. He maked me feel so confused. Sometimes he seemed like his old self, but then sometimes, like now, there's something completely different in his eyes.
"Wait! Do you really want to know?" /Damn it, Potter. Just come out with it and quit playing games. You're almost as bad as Dumbledore when it comes to messing with other people's minds./ I didn't answer him. I didn't have to. He approached me, still with that odd look in his eyes. I would have backed away from him, but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. Besides, my back was already to the door.
I didn't know what possessed him to do it, but Potter kissed me. He kissed me! /I won't do this!/
I panicked. I don't know why I did it! I don't know why I hit him! Or kept at it... I hurt him.
After I manage to pull myself away, I saw what I had done.
But it wasn't the black eye, or him huddled in the fetal position, bleeding, that got my attention.
He was crying.
Potter never cried.
I was so confused. In blind panic, I fled the room.
I could still see Potter's tears, even after I left the room.
hr
I didn't see him again for the next few days. Not at breakfast, not in potions, or any of the other classes I usually had with the gryffindor.
I didn't even realize that I had been looking.
I didn't even realize I cared.
i sighed. Unfortunately, in doing so, I grabbed Pansy's attention.
"Oh, Drakey!" /Does she have to say that!/ "Whatever could be wrong?" /currently? you./ but I don't actually say it. The last time I did, she ran crying to my father. I still remember very well what happened. And the threat that followed, if I didn't straiten up and treat my future wife right. Really, I think that he just wants to ensure my marriage into a powerful 'dark' wizarding family. He could care less how i treat her after I marry her.
Luckily, Blaise, at least, leaves me to my thoughts. He's the only decent one among this bunch!
Once again, my thoughts bring about a sigh. /i swear Potter, and his incessant sighing, is rubbing off on me.../ But of course, that brings me back to Potter.
/I refuse to apologise to him. HE shouldn't have kissed me, the disgusting pervert.../
/WHY AM I EVEN STILL THINKING ABOUT HIM!!! It was about time I put him in his place... though he was kind of nice to be around, after a while.../
I sat straight up in my chair; Crabbe and Goyle turned to stare. (Actually, I think they had already been staring and they simply forgot to turn around. Idiots.)
No. I did not just admit to enjoying Potters company! I couldn't have...
/But now that I think about it, that was a good kiss.../
hr
(the next day)
Once again, no Potter. I think the amount of attention I'm paying to this is bordering on obsession. I couldn't seem think about anything else. Also Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy seemed to have noticed, and their about as dense as anyone can be. Worse than Potter.
/I couldn't have hurt him that bad.../
/but why isn't he here!/
/I'M SORRY!/
hr
(Hermione's POV)
I know something is wrong with Harry. He's been in bed all week and hasn't shown any hint of leaving it.
I tried to get him to speak with me. He almost spoke, I could see that he wanted to, but them he just rolled over in his bed, dismissing me.
I felt myself growl in frustration. /What is wrong with him!/ Ron had been right when he said that something was going on with Harry. What's more, I couldn't believe I just said that Ron was right!
In potions, every class with the Slytherins, actually, I saw Malfoy glancing over here. /I'm sure he knows something./
After charms I managed to corner him, I told Ron leave without me ahead of time.
"What did you do, Malfoy?" I could have imagined it, but I think he winced.
"What are you talking about, Granger." He tried for his usual drawl, but it comes out to high.
"Harry! I know that you have something to do with it."
"What! Potter has finally figured out that he would be doing everyone a favour and left?"
"You wish." He does look guilty, but hides it.
"I did nothing, Mudblood." His glare faltered and he left before I could make a grab for him.
/Damn! I was so close to seeing him crack./
Before my next class, I went to check on Harry.
hr
Malfoy cornered me the next day. He roughly jerked me to the side of the hallway, saying we had to talk. Ron looked like he wanted to curse him to peaces but he left after I reassured him that everything would be fine.
"What do you want, Malfoy!?" I was a bit peeved. I think that left a bruise on my arm.
"Potter." I swear he looked like he was pleading. "I need to speak to Potter. Now."
I wasn't sure if I should, but I had seen the state Harry was in. I had no idea what Malfoy had done, but if he wanted to fix it, it was fine with me.
"Follow me. Do not say a word and wait outside." I saw his questioning look. "I want Harry to get better. If that means talking to you, so be it. But, it doesn't mean I'm going to allow you into Gryffindor tower. Harry needs to get out anyway, before he's expelled for skipping any more classes."
By the time I was finished talking we had made it to the portrait of the Fat Lady. Malfoy didn't way anything; just shifted nervously behind me. I almost commented on it, but used my better judgment and didn't. I didn't want him to change his mind and leave.
hr
(Draco's POV)
I almost expected her to just leave me here and not get Harry... Potter. Harry (whatever!) to come out here.
But to my surprise, she carried him out the opening in a full body bind. She was carrying him! And it didn't look like it was too much of a struggle for her. "Here." She set him down beside me, forcing me to either hold him up or let him hit the floor. I chose to keep him up; Granger nodded her approval. /I don't need her approval!/ But then again she did get him for me... Didn't have to. "Don't hurt him, or I will kill you." /Is she serious?!/ I thought, but the hand around my throat suggested she was. I quickly nodded and she relaxed her hold.
She left us there in the hall.
I looked at the boy-who-wouldn't-get-out-of-my-life and sighed. After a second, I cast finite incantatum on him and released my hold on him.
He stared at me. He didn't say a thing. He just sat down at the junction between the wall and floor, holding his arms around his head. He continued to stare at me, hesitantly.
"Potter..." I began.
"Don't touch me." I barely heard him.
"I just want to talk." He laughed at me. Quietly at first but it quickly became hysterical.
"Talk! I thought that was my line, but no you have to take everything and use it against me." Through all this, his voice kept the hysterical edge. The laughter continued.
"Potter, stop it!" I couldn't help it but I grabbed his shoulders, and shook him a little. "Stop!" But to my horror he broke down crying. I had no idea what to do! And I heard footsteps coming towards us. I quickly picked him up in my arms and ran.
hr
Snape appear around the corner, staring after them.
hr
(Draco's POV)
He's so light; I couldn't help thinking as I ran. He wasn't even slowing me down, not to much anyway. The next thing I know I was at the entrance to the Slytherin dorms.
I had no idea how I got there (or why there) but I went in anyway. Luckily, everyone either was out, sleep, or simply didn't care enough to look up as I took Potter to my room.
I was about to put him down, after I had locked the door but I found I could. He had attached himself to my waist, with his legs crossed around me and arms clinging to my neck. Funny thing was, I didn't want him to get down. So I sat on the edge of my bed. With him sitting on my lap...
"Potter." He didn't move, he just clinged to me harder.
I saw his face when he looked up at me; eyes like emeralds. He had finally stopped crying.
"Why do I still want you, Malfoy?" He stared at me face to face. Ordinarily it probably would have made me uncomfortable. He was more than a bit close; though, I suppose I did put him in this position.
"Do you really want me? Still?" /After what I did to you./
"I do." He buried his head back under my chin.
"Why? Even after I hurt you?!" I still didn't understand him. I beat him! Yet here he was, quite happily sitting with his arms wrapped around me. /And don't foget legs!/
"I don't know. Draco..." I think he was nuzzling me... Well, he is affectionate, if nothing else.
I wanted to hold him back. /Oh, he is going to get me killed with my own thoughts!/ "I didn't want to hurt you. I don't think I wanted to hurt you..." I closed my eyes and pulled him close. /I think I want you to like me... to want me./
"I know. You wouldn't be here with me if you did." He started pressing kisses along my neck. So soft.
"I might like you, Potter." I leaned back with him still in my arms, bringing him to lay on top of me.
"You love me." I didn't protest, as his lips made their way to mine. "And I love you."
When he kissed me, this time I knew I wanted to be there, kissing him.
It was perfect.
¤.¸¸.·´¨»O·W·A·R·I«´¨·. ¸¸.¤
Finished- 1:18 AM 6/27/2004
Just like every day, for the past few monthes, I found myself staring at the same person. He was so perfect, at least to me. The way he moved, acted. Draco Malfoy did what he wanted, mostly, disregarding the so-called rules. I just don't think he really cared what happened to him. I wish that I could do that, just once in my life.
He had changed a lot, Malfoy had, and I took noticed. Or at least he seemed to have changed from the snivelling brat he used to be.
You cannot trust him Harrysaid the faint voice. It seemed to be getting weaker now, than it used to be. I had started to hear it soon after the fight with Voldemort, in my forth year. I still have no idea where it comes from; it just seems to be there. I would have told somebody, but as Ron told me, hearing voices wasn't a good thing in either world.
I sighed, for what seemed to be the fifth time that evening, causing half the table, including Ron and Hermione, to give him strange looks.
"Are you ok, Harry?" She asked.
I didn't want to lie to her, but I answered, "As always." She, of course, kept staring at me for a moment. I shook my head at her. There was nothing wrong. Besides, there would no good in worrying her over this. Ron had returned to his dinner.
hr
Yet another day. Another day, where I can't seem to find what's bothering me. Another day of watching Draco, not noticing me.
I don't know how it started, my obsession with him. There's a voice in my head telling me I hate him, though my heart says different. I wouldn't say I love him though. I don't even know him, really. My obsession since the end of my fourth year.
Sometimes I wonder if Voldemort has something to do with it. Or even Draco himself. I wonder why he would want for me to feel this way, either of them. But, it would be too petty for Voldemort. Too indirect for Draco, I would hope.
Once again, I sighed. It's becoming a habit. As always, they stare at me, wondering what could possilbly be wrong! /the golden boy can't be depressed!/ I thought, sarcastically. /No. Can't have that./ I have to be what they expect me to be, or else become a pariah to be feared. No worries, I'll do what's expected of me, at least for a little while.
I think Hermione might actually understand, though. She doesn't seem any happier with her life than I am, though she hides it well. I asked one time, why she always had her head in a book, she replied that it was easier than being around other people, sometimes. Then she made some joke that some of the books where a hell of a lot more interesting then some people. Hermione leered a bit when saying it and smirking at the same time, which was unsettling to say the least, as well as amusing on second thought.
But I would have to be sure. I wouldn't want to loose her friendship over something that I'm not ever sure about. Or she might not understand just how miserable I am. How I can be like this.
I should be happy on all accounts, I have friends, some so close that they feel like family. I have fame, though, how I hate it. I have riches, though I have no real use for it at the moment, aside from school spendings. The only actual down part is my uncle and cousin, though aunt Petunia usually tries to make it a bit better for me, when she is aware of what's happening, which is, unfortunately, not often.
I laugh this time, and everyone returns to what they are doing, they probably think I just laughed at somebody's stupid joke. I let them beleive what they want. Yes, everything has to stay normal.
I look towards the Slytherin table once again, just as Malfoy leaves. I don't understand, why but I want desperately to follow him, I quickly excuse myself, but when I get close to the door, I hear Ron say whispering something to Hermione.
"What, are we not good enough for him to eat with us!" he says, smirking at her. I'm too annoyed to hear what Hermione says in return; I decide to leave anyway. I'll find out what's bugging him later.
I find Malfoy quickly enough. I tried to follow him, but he heard me almost immediately.
"What do you want, Potter." He glared at me with those pale grey eye's, but he didn't actually sound hostile.
"I don't really what anything, Malfoy, I just wanted too talk to you." He actually looked amused.
"You want to talk to me? I don't know about you, but I don't think where friends, unless I missed a memo stating we are."
I almost smiled. At least he hadn't walked off yet. "Why can't we be friends?" I asked him.
"We can never be friends. Aside from being the boy who lived, you're to goody for me."
I watch him the whole time he speaks. He really is beautiful. I could easily find myself loving him, if I'm not careful.
"Potter, you're staring at me. Why?"
He really did look mildly curious, but I could only shrug. /you're amazing/ I thought, or at least in my mind.
"I really would like to be your friend Malfoy. I would apologize for declining your original offer, if it would help. I really am sorry for that, you know." He seemed dumbstruck, but he just stared at me. Why does everyone feel the need to stare?!
"You don't even know me, or like me, according to past experiences, and now you want to be friends?"
"I don't care. I've made up my mind to get to know you. I can get over everything you did to me. You have never seriously hurt me. Though, on second thought, you did hurt my friends." /Maybe I shouldn't do this./ I turned to leave, but he stopped me.
"Potter! Wait. I wouldn't mind talking to you, as long as Weasly and Granger stay out of this."
"Agreed." I smile at him, for real this time. He frowns a bit, looking baffled.
"Tomorrow after dinner?"
"Yes." Then I do walk away, leaving him to stare.
hr
"Where did you go?" was the first thing I heard when I went back to my dorm room. Ron. Everyone else had fallen asleep immediately after dinner.
"Nowhere. I just felt like walking around." I quickly got ready for bed while we talked.
Ron grinned slyly. "Meeting a girl weren't you. Good for you. Just make sure to leave the others for the rest of us blokes."
I did my best not to roll my eyes at him. "No. I just wasn't hungry anymore and decided to take a walk." I climbed into bed.
"Sure you did. I saw Padma sneaking around the halls as well, when I tried to find you."
"Whatever, Ron. I'm going to sleep."
He said his goodnights and soon after, I was sleep as well, still thinking of Malfoy.
hr
I left quickly I finished eating, but I ran into Padma Patil, who had been going in the opposite way.
We both apologized to each other and moved to get up. She stared for a second before hurrying off in the opposite direction.
/Odd.../ I thought, but then continued to around the area that I had talked to Draco the day before.
I waited for over an hour, but he doesn't show up.
hr
The next morning I headed to class, with Hermione and Ron walking in front of me. Ron kept trying to talk her up, but she mostly ignored him. I don't know what to think about it.
We arrived at potions several minutes early, due to Hermione nagging us to get out of bed. I hadn't wanted to get up. They had to literally drag me out of bed. I put on my stupid glasses. Everything seemed to really annoy me that morning. I wished that I could burn my clothes when I was tossed into them. And toss the glasses in with them.
Honestly, Hermione had no problem waltzing into the boy's dorm. Then dressing the boys in it.
So that's where I was. Angry that Draco hadn't arrived. Angry about being forced to get up. I shouldn't have been surprised that he didn't show up, I really shouldn't.
I think I was glaring, because Ron suddenly shook me, knocking me out of my thoughts. "What's wrong with you?" he asks. "You looked like you wanted to murder the desk."
"Nothing's wrong, Ron. I just didn't feel like getting up this morning."
His eyes widen. "Oh, did you have one of those dreams? Kept you up all night, did it mate?!" He continues, but I ignore him. Luckily, Hermione starts talking to me.
"Are you sure you're ok, Harry." she whispers it to me. I glance at Ron, but he's still going on, now on the dream he had last night... and going into detail. Too much detail.
"It's really nothing. I just tried to meet someone last night, but they stood me up."
"You're dating?" Hermione brown eye's show her surprise.
"No. I just wanted to talk. But?" I shrugged, not knowing what else to say.
Luckily, I was saved from saying more when the rest on the people started to come in from breakfast. Malfoy was there, but as becoming his habit of late didn't even glance at our little group. I once again scowled at the space in front of us. Snape soon arrived, just in time, to start class.
I think I was gritting my teeth by the time that class was over; fortunately, Snape didn't seem to notice. I was able to get to the end of class without bringing his attention on me, I was thankful. I thought that I was free, away from Malfoy at least, but Snape called for me to stay. Ron had left with everyone else but Hermione spared me a sorrowful look before gathering her things. I waited for Snape to say something, but then he left as well.
I looked around, confused, wondering what the hell was going on. Then I noticed Draco was still standing in the room, by the door.
"What are you still doing here?" I tried to sound as pissed as I felt, but it didn't come out that way.
"I can't talk to you, Potter." He said.
"Why not?"
"You know why I can't." No I don't, at least not anymore.
"No, I don't."
"I just wanted to tell you not to talk to me."
/Double standard, Malfoy. You're talking to me right now!/
"And don't bother waiting for Snape to come back." With that he left with me staring at his back.
"Damn." I stalk out after a second, to get to my next class in time.
hr
"What did Snape want, Harry." Hermione asked.
Ron stared at us blankly. "What did Snape do?"
"Ron, he held Harry back after class, didn't you notice?" Hermione questioned him. I beginning to think that Ron is just as oblivious as he acts, something that I thought wasn't possible.
Should I tell her what happened. No, I can't risk it. "Nothing. He just said his usual."
"I'm sorry, Harry."
"About what? Snape isn't nearly as bad on Harry as he is with everyone else. He made me redo my entire potion!" I watched his face turn red. Though at the moment I found his righteous anger amusing.
Hermione just shook her head in disgust. "You did the whole think wrong. One step further and it would have blown up in your face. Snape saved you from complete embarrassment."
I listened to them go on, until once again, I was lost in thought.
I still needed to see Malfoy. I knew that, but he refused to even speak to me. I didn't know why, maybe these years between us meant more to him than they did to me. Maybe my rejecting him really got to him more than I thought it did. I could understand his attitude towards me and my friends, even if I didn't agree with it. It's a by-product of being raised a Malfoy. But was he anything more than a Malfoy?
But I didn't really care, I would get him to at least speak to me.
hr
I manage to corner him after curfew. After another run in with Padma. /What is she up too?/ I waited until everyone had gone to bed then got out the map, to see if he was out that night, as he sometimes was. I had just never had the nerve to go look for him. He was walking on a corridor close to the Slytherin common room, moving away.
I crawled out of the bed, grabbing the cloak on my way on the room. That was easy enough, no one even stirred.
It didn't take long to find him; I think that he took a walk in circles at some point, going past the same area a couple times. I decided not to think about it.
While lost in thoughts, I forgot to pay attention to where I was going and ran into something.
"Didn't I tell you to fuck off, or something like that, Potter." I heard his familiar drawl, and quickly glanced up, blushing. I ran right into Draco.
"I really don't see why I should, Draco."
"Don't call me Draco." He tried to sound like he normally would, but I saw the slight smile.
"We had an agreement." I replied.
"I changed my mind." He lifted one of eyebrows as he said it.
"I really want to get to know you."
"Yet, you haven't told me why." I shrugged slightly. He laughed. "You don't know!" Incredulous. "You've become my stalker for a reason you don't know!"
"I wouldn't say that I am stalking you." I looked down to see my feet shifting around, even more nervous than I was before.
"Well, it is a matter of opinion. Though I can't say that I mind too much." I look up sharply, but he is no longer looking at me.
"Potter, I will see you tomorrow night. here." And abruptly he left.
hr
It took forever for Ron to go to sleep that night, damn it! I was this close to smothering him with his pillow... but then finally his tossing and turning ended! Finally! I left as quickly as possible, hoping that I wasn't too late. Or that it wasn't another trick.
Once again, I waited. I almost believed that he wouldn't be there, like last time, but he was.
"Over here," he whispered, and bade me to follow him.
I did, but after several minutes of following close behind, I started to get worried. Others would be leaving dinner soon. Moreover, I was sure that we passed that statue before. But finally we stopped at a door that I'm sure wasn't there the last time we passed the area.
After he leads me in he turns to stare at me. I don't think he's even sure why he agreed to meet me here.
I decided to ignore it and look around. He's lead me to what looks like a common room, only there doesn't seem to be any other rooms attatched to it. "What is this?"
"The room of requirement. I found it last year, Professor Snape told me what it was." He turned and dropped on the only couch in the room, upholstered in dark grey. "Are you going to sit, potter?" Draco drawled out. His confidence seemed to have come back rather quickly.
"Right there?" There was no place else to sit. Aside from the couch, there was only a table and fireplace.
"No, on the floor." He must have seen that I was still uncertain because he added, "Of course, here." He patted the area beside him. It was a small couch. "The Room of Requirement decides what you need and gives it to you. Though I guess this is adequate."
I could only nod.
"You asked me here, potter. Now speak." Irritation.
"I don't know why I did, Malfoy. But I was serious." I really didn't know what to say now that I had him here right in front of me. "But I honestly don't know what to say."
"Great. Perfect-Potter is speechless." It actually made me smile, oddly.
"Do you really think I'm perfect?" An honest question, not a come-on.
He's quiet. "Should I?"
"It's your opinion I want to know." I answered.
"Fine. I think you're a goody-two-shoes, who dresses like a slob, and acts like he can do anything he wants and the rest of the world would just bow down at his feet. Which isn't to far from the truth, as the past has shown. Though, you're behaving a bit oddly at the moment." This time it's enough to make me laugh, and once again, I'm subjected to stares.
"Are you sane, potter?" He leaned forward to look at me, since, in laughing, I've nearly buried my face into the back cushion of the couch. I love the way his hair falls, as he does it.
"Yes." I sighed, this time in happiness. "It's starting to seem that there's nothing I can do, Malfoy." He seemed confused, which is starting to be a semi-permanent state. "I hate being me, sometimes."
That startled him.
"Actually, I don't hate being me. I hate being who everyone seems to want me to be."
If anything he just looked more baffled. "I don't understand you."
"I don't think anyone does. But then I don't think anyone understands you, do they." At that he kind of grins. Only a small one, but still a grin.
"I don't think anyone would be able to understand that screw up mind of yours, Potter."
I shrug. "It's probably true."
"Do I want to? It might an interesting challenge. So I can prove whether you're actually any different, or still the same stuck up jerk I've always perceived you to be."
"You're calling me stuck up?!" I couldn't help it, but that one actually got to me. "You should be saying that to yourself, Malfoy."
"Maybe I am, but I realize I am." I think he said it just to be contrary.
"You're the one who isn't sane." He shrugs as well.
"You might be enough to amuse someone as insane as I am. At least for a little while."
He maked me smile again, but he didn't stare at me oddly this time. "I can try."
I sat there for a minute, just starting to relax. But then he speaks.
"It's almost morning." he sighed and leaned back into the couch as well, I just nodded.
"Does that mean I have to leave?" I think I whined.
"So eager to stay here, potter?" He laughed at me, and just seemed to laugh harder when I blushed.
"Well, I did finally get you here." I mumbled.
"If it makes you feel any better, did almost enjoy this." He tossed his hair out of his face as he says it, making me laugh at the small joke.
Unexpectedly he pulled me up off the couch, though not quite roughly. "Come on Potter, it will be morning soon. Unless you want get caught."
"I don't worry too much about it." He looked at me quizzically. When I said nothing more he just shrugged and continued pulling me towards the door.
"That eager to get away from me?" I ask.
"Yes. Don't push it, Potter." He smirked and pushed me out ahead of him.
"Wait!" I stopped him before he gets too far in the other direction.
"Tomorrow. Same time. Here." He said before I say anything else. I smiled at his retreating back, but then hear a scraping behind me.
I turn and see... Mrs. Norris? I laughed at the cat, who seemed to be annoyed. It appeared Filch wasn't right behind her for once.
"Mrs. Norris." came his rough singsong voice.
But I spoke to soon.
"Potter. Out of bed so late?" He barked.
Panicked I try and hide the cloak under my robes. Luckily, he didn't seem to notice the movement. "Yes, sir. Umm... I was-" going out of my mind trying to find the right excuse. But the opportunity to get away presented itself before I could.
"I thought I told to get to your room, Potter." It was funny watching Filches head pop up.
"You knew?" Filch.
"Potter was with me, making up a potion." Snape glared at the squalid man.
"But, Professor, he's in the hall at 2:00!"
/2:00!/ I thought in surprise. Draco and I talked longer than I thought.
"I now what time it is!" Snape hissed. /Why is he defending me?/ Come to think about it, he had been acting weird lately. "Potter. Get to your dorm now." He turned his glare on me, before the look turned to something else. I turned and left before I got the chance to analyse it. I've had enough for today and desperately want my bed.
"Slytherins!" I here Filch mutter behind my back. I nearly turned back in shock, but no, he's probably just referring to Snape.
hr
"Wake up Harry!" Damn. It's him. I groan as press the pillow over my head as I tried to block out the noise. I am not a morning person.
"Come on, Harry." He whines. He tried to pounce on me to wake me up. Tried. He would have made it if not for the shielding spell I put around my bed before I went to sleep. I laughed as I heard the thud of him hitting the floor.
"Oww! Harrryyy!" More whining.
"Just fuck off, Ron." I mummbled. I swear he's irritating!
Silence. What... Oh crap! I said that out loud, didn't I?
"What did you say to me?!" I can picture his face turning as red as a lobster
"Nothing. I'm getting up." Before he can say anything more I ran into the bathroom.
hr
"Something is wrong with Harry." that was what I heard when I came down from the boys dorm. Ron was whispering to Hermione on the couch.
"I'm sure it's nothing, Ron. Leave Harry alone." She sounded a bit peeved.
"He told me to fuck off, Hermione." He huffed. "Then said I was irritating."
"And I'm sure that he wasn't the first person to say that to you, and he won't be the last. Now fuck off, you're irritating me and I'm trying to read."
"Hermione!" I couldn't help but laugh. It was loud enough to bring his attention back to me. "Harry, help. See what I have to deal with." Yes, talking about her is the perfect way to win her over.
Just to annoy Ron, Hermione put down the book just to slip her arm into mine and walked me out the door. Ron was left staring as it shut behind us. It didn't take long for him to catch up. Luckily, I managed to pull out of Hermione's embrace before we reached the great hall, therefore relieving myself of listening to Ron grinding his teeth in frustration behind us.
hr
(Draco's Point of View)
"What are you doing here Potter." Is he really stalking me? I suddenly wished that Blaise hadn't left to go to bed.
I had been studying happily by my self, in the library, but Potter unexpectedly shows up!
"Don't know." /I think he's blushing... I can't believe it! He is actually sitting beside me! I didn't ask him to sit down!/ But Potter was. Very closely.
"Figures." /he's turning even redder!/ "Potter, sorry to tell you this, but you look like a tomato."
"I don't..." He started, angrily. Finally, there's the fire that I'm used to. He was quickly returning to his normal pallor.
"You do. So, what are you telling the odd couple about your disappearances?" I couldn't help but snicker when thinking of Weasel.
"Odd couple? I guess they would be if they were to ever get together. I told them that Snape has given me detention. Ron believes me, actually, not sure that that's a good thing though. I don't think Hermione does, but she doesn't want to say anything about it."
"I guess that's it's true that the Weasel is as dense as a board."
"Malfoy..."
"What! You know it's true." I was surprised when he didn't say anything more. I was even more surprised that he seemed to be hiding a grin.
Who knows, maybe he really was more than he seemed.
hr
(a week's worth of "detentions" later)
(Harry's Point of View)
"Potter, you still haven't answered my questioned." Draco lounged on the couch beside me. Yes, the room hadn't changed a bit. Not that I minded sharing a couch. Yes, it aloud me to be very close to him indeed...
"Potter..." I glance up. It turned out I had been staring at his hand, close to mine. In fact nearly touching mine.
"What?"
"What is it you want with me?" The same old question... Was it my imagination or did he lean a bit closer.
"Want?" Out of nervousness, I leaned back. Away from him.
"Yes, Potter. What do you want?" He was grinning at me!
/Think fast/ I decided to change the subject.
"Why do you call me Potter?" Well, I couldn't answer his question and have him up and leave; now could i?
"Because I hate you." His grin turned into his usual smirk. I asked for that one, didn't I.
"More than you hate you father?" Yes, he had eventually admitted that to me during on of our talks. He told me that he probably hated his father more than anyone.
He's silent.
"I wouldn't mind if you called me Harry." I offered this to him. I wouldn't make him answer my question. I didn't want to hurt him, that was the last thing I wanted.
"Why do you act differently towards me, Potter? As I recall you hated me as much as I hated you." He left me speechless for a moment.
"I don't hate you, Draco." I liked to say his name aloud. He didn't say anything this time. Maybe he doesn't mind.
"I still hate you. Don't call me Draco!" Draco hissed. He jumped off the couch, grabbing his cloak on the way.
"If you really hated me as much as you say you do, you wouldn't be here." I challenged, following him to the door.
"What do you think I'm doing Potter? I'm leaving. Don't bother me again." I couldn't help it. I felt myself get lost in his eyes, a molten colour in his anger.
"Wait!" I seemed to be saying this a lot lately. "Do you really want to know?" I walked closer to him, him watching my every move. Well, I had wanted to have his attention. I had it now. He didn't say anything and I take my chance. ...stay away from him...
I kissed him.
But my euphoria of feeling his lips on mine didn't last. The next thing I knew I was doubled over clutching my stomach. Draco had punched me. Draco had never resorted to violence; at least he'd never had it in him to hit me before...
"Did you think I like you Potter!" He spat. "I told you over and over again that I hate you, but it never sunk in did it!" I don't know what came over him at that moment. I suppose that I could have defended myself against his assault, but I didn't. I just lay there, taking his blows.
I could have helped the tears I spilt when he kicked one last time, i just didn't see the point in hiding them from him. I thought I saw something there in his eyes as he backed away, but I don't know for sure.
He ran.
hr
(Draco's Point of View)
/What does Potter want?!/ I had acquiesced to his plan of 'getting to know you', but I still could't say I'm any closer to understanding him.
He'd always been nothing but an egotistical jerk /i should probably direct some of those words towards myself, shouldn't I/ who acted like everyone not like him was bad. Like all gryffindors. But something is different now. I don't understand.
I got ready to leave, having had enough. I didn't feel like dealing with Potter right now. After talking to him, it always felt like I'd bared my soul for all to see. I didn't want for him to see it. /It's not going to be Potter that I tell all of my innermost thought to!/ He would probably take them and run to Dumbledore with my secrets. So I left. Or tried to leave.
"I'm leaving. Don't bother me again." I almost made it out, but once again, he stopped me. /Can't he take a hint?/ I didn't know why, but I'm suddenly angry with him. He maked me feel so confused. Sometimes he seemed like his old self, but then sometimes, like now, there's something completely different in his eyes.
"Wait! Do you really want to know?" /Damn it, Potter. Just come out with it and quit playing games. You're almost as bad as Dumbledore when it comes to messing with other people's minds./ I didn't answer him. I didn't have to. He approached me, still with that odd look in his eyes. I would have backed away from him, but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. Besides, my back was already to the door.
I didn't know what possessed him to do it, but Potter kissed me. He kissed me! /I won't do this!/
I panicked. I don't know why I did it! I don't know why I hit him! Or kept at it... I hurt him.
After I manage to pull myself away, I saw what I had done.
But it wasn't the black eye, or him huddled in the fetal position, bleeding, that got my attention.
He was crying.
Potter never cried.
I was so confused. In blind panic, I fled the room.
I could still see Potter's tears, even after I left the room.
hr
I didn't see him again for the next few days. Not at breakfast, not in potions, or any of the other classes I usually had with the gryffindor.
I didn't even realize that I had been looking.
I didn't even realize I cared.
i sighed. Unfortunately, in doing so, I grabbed Pansy's attention.
"Oh, Drakey!" /Does she have to say that!/ "Whatever could be wrong?" /currently? you./ but I don't actually say it. The last time I did, she ran crying to my father. I still remember very well what happened. And the threat that followed, if I didn't straiten up and treat my future wife right. Really, I think that he just wants to ensure my marriage into a powerful 'dark' wizarding family. He could care less how i treat her after I marry her.
Luckily, Blaise, at least, leaves me to my thoughts. He's the only decent one among this bunch!
Once again, my thoughts bring about a sigh. /i swear Potter, and his incessant sighing, is rubbing off on me.../ But of course, that brings me back to Potter.
/I refuse to apologise to him. HE shouldn't have kissed me, the disgusting pervert.../
/WHY AM I EVEN STILL THINKING ABOUT HIM!!! It was about time I put him in his place... though he was kind of nice to be around, after a while.../
I sat straight up in my chair; Crabbe and Goyle turned to stare. (Actually, I think they had already been staring and they simply forgot to turn around. Idiots.)
No. I did not just admit to enjoying Potters company! I couldn't have...
/But now that I think about it, that was a good kiss.../
hr
(the next day)
Once again, no Potter. I think the amount of attention I'm paying to this is bordering on obsession. I couldn't seem think about anything else. Also Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy seemed to have noticed, and their about as dense as anyone can be. Worse than Potter.
/I couldn't have hurt him that bad.../
/but why isn't he here!/
/I'M SORRY!/
hr
(Hermione's POV)
I know something is wrong with Harry. He's been in bed all week and hasn't shown any hint of leaving it.
I tried to get him to speak with me. He almost spoke, I could see that he wanted to, but them he just rolled over in his bed, dismissing me.
I felt myself growl in frustration. /What is wrong with him!/ Ron had been right when he said that something was going on with Harry. What's more, I couldn't believe I just said that Ron was right!
In potions, every class with the Slytherins, actually, I saw Malfoy glancing over here. /I'm sure he knows something./
After charms I managed to corner him, I told Ron leave without me ahead of time.
"What did you do, Malfoy?" I could have imagined it, but I think he winced.
"What are you talking about, Granger." He tried for his usual drawl, but it comes out to high.
"Harry! I know that you have something to do with it."
"What! Potter has finally figured out that he would be doing everyone a favour and left?"
"You wish." He does look guilty, but hides it.
"I did nothing, Mudblood." His glare faltered and he left before I could make a grab for him.
/Damn! I was so close to seeing him crack./
Before my next class, I went to check on Harry.
hr
Malfoy cornered me the next day. He roughly jerked me to the side of the hallway, saying we had to talk. Ron looked like he wanted to curse him to peaces but he left after I reassured him that everything would be fine.
"What do you want, Malfoy!?" I was a bit peeved. I think that left a bruise on my arm.
"Potter." I swear he looked like he was pleading. "I need to speak to Potter. Now."
I wasn't sure if I should, but I had seen the state Harry was in. I had no idea what Malfoy had done, but if he wanted to fix it, it was fine with me.
"Follow me. Do not say a word and wait outside." I saw his questioning look. "I want Harry to get better. If that means talking to you, so be it. But, it doesn't mean I'm going to allow you into Gryffindor tower. Harry needs to get out anyway, before he's expelled for skipping any more classes."
By the time I was finished talking we had made it to the portrait of the Fat Lady. Malfoy didn't way anything; just shifted nervously behind me. I almost commented on it, but used my better judgment and didn't. I didn't want him to change his mind and leave.
hr
(Draco's POV)
I almost expected her to just leave me here and not get Harry... Potter. Harry (whatever!) to come out here.
But to my surprise, she carried him out the opening in a full body bind. She was carrying him! And it didn't look like it was too much of a struggle for her. "Here." She set him down beside me, forcing me to either hold him up or let him hit the floor. I chose to keep him up; Granger nodded her approval. /I don't need her approval!/ But then again she did get him for me... Didn't have to. "Don't hurt him, or I will kill you." /Is she serious?!/ I thought, but the hand around my throat suggested she was. I quickly nodded and she relaxed her hold.
She left us there in the hall.
I looked at the boy-who-wouldn't-get-out-of-my-life and sighed. After a second, I cast finite incantatum on him and released my hold on him.
He stared at me. He didn't say a thing. He just sat down at the junction between the wall and floor, holding his arms around his head. He continued to stare at me, hesitantly.
"Potter..." I began.
"Don't touch me." I barely heard him.
"I just want to talk." He laughed at me. Quietly at first but it quickly became hysterical.
"Talk! I thought that was my line, but no you have to take everything and use it against me." Through all this, his voice kept the hysterical edge. The laughter continued.
"Potter, stop it!" I couldn't help it but I grabbed his shoulders, and shook him a little. "Stop!" But to my horror he broke down crying. I had no idea what to do! And I heard footsteps coming towards us. I quickly picked him up in my arms and ran.
hr
Snape appear around the corner, staring after them.
hr
(Draco's POV)
He's so light; I couldn't help thinking as I ran. He wasn't even slowing me down, not to much anyway. The next thing I know I was at the entrance to the Slytherin dorms.
I had no idea how I got there (or why there) but I went in anyway. Luckily, everyone either was out, sleep, or simply didn't care enough to look up as I took Potter to my room.
I was about to put him down, after I had locked the door but I found I could. He had attached himself to my waist, with his legs crossed around me and arms clinging to my neck. Funny thing was, I didn't want him to get down. So I sat on the edge of my bed. With him sitting on my lap...
"Potter." He didn't move, he just clinged to me harder.
I saw his face when he looked up at me; eyes like emeralds. He had finally stopped crying.
"Why do I still want you, Malfoy?" He stared at me face to face. Ordinarily it probably would have made me uncomfortable. He was more than a bit close; though, I suppose I did put him in this position.
"Do you really want me? Still?" /After what I did to you./
"I do." He buried his head back under my chin.
"Why? Even after I hurt you?!" I still didn't understand him. I beat him! Yet here he was, quite happily sitting with his arms wrapped around me. /And don't foget legs!/
"I don't know. Draco..." I think he was nuzzling me... Well, he is affectionate, if nothing else.
I wanted to hold him back. /Oh, he is going to get me killed with my own thoughts!/ "I didn't want to hurt you. I don't think I wanted to hurt you..." I closed my eyes and pulled him close. /I think I want you to like me... to want me./
"I know. You wouldn't be here with me if you did." He started pressing kisses along my neck. So soft.
"I might like you, Potter." I leaned back with him still in my arms, bringing him to lay on top of me.
"You love me." I didn't protest, as his lips made their way to mine. "And I love you."
When he kissed me, this time I knew I wanted to be there, kissing him.
It was perfect.
¤.¸¸.·´¨»O·W·A·R·I«´¨·. ¸¸.¤
Finished- 1:18 AM 6/27/2004
