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Bella P.O.V.
I woke to yet another cloudy day in this so called town Forks. Charlie works days shift and are never home, so of course this morning would be no different from others. I moved to forks a year ago and still have not gotten use to the sickly green and wet space that lies everywhere around me, intoxicating my breathing space. It smelt like mildew everywhere all the time, and the sent stuck to everything.
How people survived here was my question. Charlie was never home and I still mope around school like a black ghost, everyone can see me but doesn't acknowledge that I'm there. There was one person though, he was pretty lonely himself he told me, at the time. His name was Edward, Edward Cullen.
We were wonderful friends half way through freshman year, and when he grew into his charming good looks he, in no better words… forgot about me. For a month or so he tried to drag me along with him and his new girl friend Jessica Stanly.
It shattered my hear when I found one day Jessica threatening Edward to ignore me or she wouldn't 'go down on him' anymore. Nor was I upset but I was mad. He was my only friend and he gave me up for a blow job. A pretty shitty one I would expect too.
We would hang out all the time. Mostly at my house we would cuddle into a ball and talk and watch movies. I would occasionally go to his house and play X-Box and hung out in his room. We literally hung out every day and grew so close we practically were married.
We argued about dumb things like what movie to watch or what game to play. But we ended up watching both movies and spent hours playing both games. And in a quick rush of blood to the head, he was gone. And I was alone.
All the girls at schools where in clicks, none of which I liked. And the guys would just try to touch me or leave me for me not allowing them to touch me. So the bathroom was my friend at lunch. I had no social interaction at all. None.
My day consisted of waking up going to school, going home, doing homework, making dinner, eating alone, reading, and going to bed. Then Charlie came home.
And here I lay. 7:30 am waiting for my life to get somewhere. SO I get ready for another day of school. I slipped on a simple red t shirt and blue jeans and a jacket. I walked to the bathroom trying to stop crying as I put on my glasses and tied my hair back.
When I really looked at myself, I looked like shit.
But no one would look that closely. No one ever tried.
I went over to my bed to grab my backpack glancing over my mother's last letter to me. She left me from phoenix telling me to live with Charlie because she wanted to travel. So I had to leave my warm house, my good friend Jake, and pretty much everything that had sentimental value to it.
I cried silently to myself not knowing until cold tears ran down my boney face and dropped onto my shattered heart. Making my way downstairs I grabbed a pop tart and noticed a note from my father,
I'll be home early today,
Dad
He forgot to add that he will be home early to watch another game on the old worn couch that Edward and I shared so many good memories on. Whenever I cried from a movie, he would hold me to his chest and put his arms around me to comfort me. Or when a movie ended and I was as he would say 'shunning with darkness and anger' he would wrestle me until he was on top of me and caged me and tickled me like crazy.
It was moments like those I wished we were more than friends. That I could actually put my arms around his neck and kiss his perfect lips. Or that I could press my forehead to his and just closed my eyes as we both intake every lingering scent around us. And sometimes, all I wanted was to hug him. But I couldn't, because he was a typical guy and I was a black ghost.
I moped for leaving Phoenix, I moped because of the weather, I moped because I was lonely, I cried because my heart always hurt, I cried because my frown felt permanently numb, I cried because I was depressed, and mainly I had nightmares and sobbed and yelled and screamed, and hit myself because he was gone.
By the time I was pulled out of my thoughts I realized I was in my car and I was ready to drive to school. I also realized the neighbor had been staring at me so I turned my car on, as the rumble didn't scare me anymore but felt good for yelling at me and I took off. Parking in first spot I saw I sat there and watched everyone pass by. Smiles on everyone's face and laughing with three of four other people. I headed in when the bell ring so I went to my first class, history.
was sweet. A little too sweet. When she talked about dead people she would always smile so it creped the shit out of me. I started to doodle the word FRIENDS on a blank page and drew skulls and fire between the letters. When I was finished I pushed my notebook back impressed with my artwork when the bell rang and I got up quickly to my next class.
On the way I had to drop a book off at my locker and I forgot to mention that Edwards locker was right next to mine. It's how we met…
And EVERY day I have to go up to my lock and watch Edward make out with a different girl every week. This week was Lauren.
He pressed her on my locker and his eyes were full of lust when they started to swap spit. He caressed her breast and brought his hand to her invisible ass, and ran his hand down the hem of her skirt and back up to her underwear. Not stopping their kiss he ran his other hand under her white shirt and under her stupid white bra that she didn't need because there was nothing there and played with her breast as she moaned in his mouth.
Not being able to stand this anymore, I cleared my throat and stood there and they ignored me. I cleared my throat louder and I got no response back. I was angry. Angry didn't even begin to play a role in this situation. Edward told me some of his darkest secrets and here I stood bewildered as he ignored me utterly and made out with the school slut who probably had and STD!
So I walked behind Edward and grabbed both his for arms removing them from her body and twisted them behind his back. He stepped away from Lauren.
"What the HELL Bella?"
I took him and pushed him to the lockers across the hall fiercely as he fell into the mob of Goths and emos. They swore and cursed under their breath and scattered away like ants when I walked over to Lauren and slapped he in the face and grabbed her shirt collar and threw her into Edward. I dropped of my books and walked to my second period.
I was proud, and kind of sick.
English went by in bliss and so did government. Then it was lunch and I went to stand in line feeling eyes on my back when I glanced around to find Jessica and Lauren standing arm and arm hooked glaring at me.
"Bitch, Looser" they spit at me.
I turned around as they whispered about me behind my back. I didn't care. Or at least I tried not to.
I walked up to the lunch lady who had yellow teeth and old and wrinkle face. "We got refried beans and tacos!" I saw her eyes and she looked… happy. I couldn't understand how someone could be happy working around such snobs. "Just a taco, please" She handed me a plate as I grabbed a bottle of water and headed to the bathroom when Tanya, a part of Jessica's crew waved at me to come over. Hesitant, I did.
"Hi Bella! Look I really want to talk to you, see Lauren has always been a bitch and I thought we could talk about how you got SO strong!" I looked at her skeptically when I sat dawn on the chair and suddenly regretted it. I felt something soft and mushy that I sat on. It happened so fast but when I tried to sit up Tanya spilt her vanilla frappuccino on my thighs. Feeling tears stream down my face I got up and I was the center of attention. And Jessica came behind me a dumped her soda on my head and Lauren crunched her taco all over the soda.
"I told you not to mess with us" Tanya commented as I ran out of the room into the bathroom. Kids were laughing their ass's off. I went to a stall and I cried like there was no tomorrow. After what felt like forever I got up and out and whipped off all the food, and sunk my hair in the water. I was a mess and all I wanted was for things to be ok.
I should have known that they would get back at me. I… deserved it. I made my way to biology smelling like rotten milk and week old trash. My eyes where blood shot and sat in my usual seat by Mike Newton, we didn't talk much and he had me do all the work. But something about today just had to make this happen.
Mr. Banner yelled out at Edward "Edward! Since you love being SO talkative today I want you and Mike to switch seats, permanently."
NONONONONONO! I hated my life.
I looked down and started to draw a picture so I didn't have to look at him. I drew and empty room with wood floor and a rope hanging from the ceiling that took me hanging leaving a pool of blood dripping underneath me.
Then I got a note shoved at me. I let it linger there for a minute, contemplating if I should open it or not, so I did.
E- What up with the picture?
I scribbled back to him,
B-I draw what I want.
E- Why do you want to hang yourself?
B- Why do you care?
E- You're my friend, no matter how jealous you get over me
B- Jealous? You think I'm FUCKING JELOUS of YOU?
E- Why did you freak out over Lauren and me today? Hmmm? And why do you glare at ALL the girls I go out with? Hmm?
B- you know Edward, you're right. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. I want you so bad
E- REALLY?
B- NO you FUCKER! You where on my locker and I had places to be other than to sit there and watch you to have SEX with your clothes on! And DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF? "All the girls I've been with..." I mean SERIOUSLY? I glare at all girls who are bitchy and prissy! EXCUSE ME that YOU slept with ALL of them! And yes I'm O SO JELOUSE THAT YOU HAVE ASS WHOLE FRIENDS, and I'm jealous that you have the good life and I'm jealous that YOU have good looks and I don't! And I'm jealous that you can dump your closest friends for cooler ones! And I am- by then I was sobbing on the paper- jealous that you do another girl every week! And MAINLY I am O SO JELOUS that you have people who would stand up for you at hard times, people you can talk to and who keep you company when you're sick or sad BECAUSE I HAVE NO ONE! And we aren't friends.
I watched him read it over and his face turn into a frown. Good. I was crying uncontrollably now because I was partly telling the truth… I am jealous of him.
I just want a friend. But he wasn't a true one.
Then he passed the note back when I took it and read it slowly.
SO? What do you think? I will update once I get 5 reviews! So please review! It will only take you 30 seconds
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& is it too long? I like long fan fictions but if it's too long please tell me.
See you in 5 reviews! And If you review I'll give you a preview of half of Edwards note *_*
