Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter characters, nor do I own the play A Midsummer Night's Dream'. They belong to J.K. Rowling and William Shakespeare, respectively.

Warnings: Eventual Sirius/Remus slash. NO werewolfness. You have been warned.

Summary: James loves Lily. Lily loves James. Sirius loves Lily. Lily hates Sirius. Remus loves Sirius. Sirius hates Remus. A Marauders-based rip-off of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream'. NOT written in play format. Eventual JP/LE, SB/RL

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--A Midsummer Night's Fancy--

-Cast of Characters-

Theseus: Albus Dumbledore
Egeus: Frank Longbottom
Lysander: James Potter
Demetrius: Sirius Black
Hippolyta: Minerva McGonagall
Hermia: Lily Evans
Helena: Remus Lupin
Bottom: Peter Pettigrew
Oberon: Arthur Weasley
Titania: Molly Weasley
Puck: Lucius Malfoy
Faeries: Andromeda Tonks, Alice Longbottom, Bellatrix Lestrange, Narcissa Malfoy

---

Albus Dumbledore, duke of the kingdom of Hogwarts, was hard at work preparing for his marriage to Minerva McGonagall, Queen of the Amazons, whom he would wed in four days at the coming of the full moon. Albus and Minerva had just finished going over their guest list, and were standing at the window, looking out over the land.

Oh, Minerva, our nuptial hour draws ever closer, Albus sighed. But it seems to me that it takes so long to get here. Would that this moon were full!

Minerva laid a hand on his arm. Don't be so hasty. Four days and nights will pass quickly; and we'll be married before you know it.

Where is the daughter of Frank? I would have a word with her, and her suitors. Albus said, turning away from the windows. Go, fetch them, he said to his servants. As soon as they had left, he smiled at Minerva. I wooed you with my expertise in battle, did I not? And yet, I dealt you a fair amount of wounds. So, my love, to make up for it, I will marry you among happiness and triumph. Ah - Albus' friend, Frank, had just entered the room, with his beautiful, red-headed daughter Lily. Following them were two young men - one with short, messy black hair and glasses, the other with sleek, waist-length black hair and midnight-blue eyes. They were James and Sirius, Lily's two suitors.

Happy be Albus, our renowned duke! Frank said, bowing low.

Thanks, good Frank : now, what's the trouble here? Albus asked.

Frank straightened up and threw a nasty glare at James. I come full of vexation, my lord, with complaint against my daughter Lily. Stand forth, Sirius. My lord, this man has my consent to marry my daughter - stand forth, James - and this man has bewitched the bosom of my child. James has written her poems, and sang by her window at night, and given her countless presents. By this, my lord, he has turned her conscience against me, and she will not consent to marry Sirius. I beg that you make her choose - either she marry Sirius, or be put to death, as is the law.

Albus looked at Lily. What say you, Lily? Be advised, your father should be like a god to you; he made you, and you should listen to him. Sirius is a worthy gentleman.

So is James, Lily said defiantly.

So he is, in himself; but he is wanting of your father's permission. Sirius has your father's permission, and is therefore the worthier.

I wish that my father would see with my eyes, Lily muttered bitterly.

Rather that your eyes must look with his judgment. Albus said gently.

I do entreat your grace to pardon me. I don't know how I can be so bold, but I must ask to know what will become of me if I do not wed Sirius.

You will either be put to death, or else be exiled from Hogwarts, Albus said. Therefore, fair Lily, question your desires. If you do not consent, I swear, you may be sent to a cloister, to endure the livery of a nun. The sisters are blessed, but they live lives of purity, which cannot be happier than a life of fruitfulness within marriage.

Then I'll live that way, if I have to, Lily said bravely. I'll be a nun before I'll marry a man I do not love.

Take some time to think about it, and by the next full moon, the day of my marriage to Minerva, prepare to either die for disobedience to your father's will, or else to wed Sirius, as he would; or else be sent to live with the nuns.

Please relent, sweet Lily, Sirius pleaded. And - James, give up your desires to my right.

You have her father's love, Sirius, James said lightly. Let me have Lily's, and you can marry him.

Sirius growled, and Frank spoke up hastily. Scornful James! Sirius has my love, and what belongs to me shall be rendered to him; Lily is mine, and all my rights of her, I do give to Sirius.

My lord, I am just as good as he is; I have just as much gold and land. I am beloved of beauteous Lily; why shouldn't I prosecute my right? Sirius, I swear, made love to Devereaux's son, Remus, and won his soul; the poor, sweet boy dotes devoutly upon this idiot. James said, as he and Sirius glared daggers at each other.

I must confess I heard this much, Albus sighed. I meant to discuss it with Sirius, but I got caught up in other things and forgot all about it. But, come, Sirius - and you, Frank - I have something to talk to you about. Lily, think hard on what you would do; you know what your refusal will mean. Come, Minerva - cheer up, my love. Sirius, Frank, come along; I must employ you in some business, and confer with you on something which concerns you both. Albus took Minerva by the arm, and exited the room, followed by Frank and a rather reluctant Sirius, who shot a mistrustful look over his shoulder at James before leaving.

Lily sank down into a chair, trembling; James knelt and took her hand. How now, my love! Why is your cheek so pale? Why do the roses there fade so fast?

Probably for want of rain, but I could well revive them with the tempest from my eyes, Lily said with bitter humour.

James sighed. Ah, it's always the same, in every story I've heard, every tale told; the course of true love never did run smooth. Either it was different in blood -

Too important to love someone so low, Lily muttered.

Or else too much of a difference in years -

Oh spite! Too old to be engaged to one so young!

Or else it stood upon the choice of friends -

Oh, hell! To choose love by another's eye!

And if the choice was all right, war, death, or sickness laid waste to it, James finished. Making it much too short, as if it had never been.

With all those problems, I suppose we can assume true lovers have always been crossed, and blame it on destiny, Lily groused.

Listen, Lily. I have a widow aunt, a dowager, who is rich and has no child, James said. Her house is not far from Hogwarts, and she treats me and loves me like her only son. There, Lily, we can be married; and the sharp laws of Hogwarts cannot pursue us. If you truly love me, sneak away from your father's house tomorrow night, and meet me in the woods - in the same place I ran into you and Remus once. I'll wait for you there.

Lily's heart leapt, and she finally smiled. My good James! I promise you, by Cupid's strongest bow, his best arrow with the golden head, by that which draws and prospers loves, I will meet you in that place tomorrow!

Keep promise, love. Look, here comes Remus.

A slender young man Lily and James' age, with light brown hair and sad hazel eyes, had entered the room. Lily embraced her friend. Godspeed, fair Remus! Where are you going?

Remus laughed bitterly. You call me fair? Don't say that again. Sirius loves your beauty. Your eyes are stars, your hair is fire, and your voice is honey. Sickness is catching, and if I could have my way, I'd catch yours. I'd give the world to have Sirius' love. Lily, please - teach me the art with which you control Sirius' heart!

I frown upon him, yet he loves me still, Lily said.

I would that your frowns could teach my smiles that skill! Remus lamented.

I give him curses, yet he gives me love, Lily answered.

If only my prayers could inspire such affection!

The more I hate, the more he loves.

The more I love, the more he hates. Remus had tears in his eyes.

I swear, Remus - his folly is no fault of mine! Lily cried helplessly.

None, but your beauty, Remus argued. Would that fault were mine!

Lily took his hand. Be comforted, Remus. He shall no more see my face. James and I will flee this place. Before I met James, Hogwarts was a paradise to me; what graces dwell in my love, that he's turned a heaven into a hell!

James put his hand on Remus' shoulder. Remus, we'll tell you what we mean to do - tomorrow night, around midnight, we plan on leaving Hogwarts forever.

In the woods where you and I used to play, picking flowers and telling secrets, James and I shall meet; and thence from Hogwarts turn our eyes, to seek new friends and stranger companies, Lily whispered. Farewell, sweet playfellow; pray for us, and good luck grant thee thy Sirius! James, we must not see each other until tomorrow night, so my father will not become suspicious.

I understand, my love, James said. Lily kissed his cheek and left the room, and he turned to Remus. Remus, adieu - as you on him, Sirius dote on you!

Remus watched as James left, then sighed shakily and wiped a tear away on his sleeve. How happy other people can be! Through Hogwarts, I am thought as fair as she. But that doesn't matter. Sirius doesn't think so; he spends all his time doting on Lily. Before Sirius saw Lily, he swore he was only mine; but when she came along, he forgot about me. I will go and tell him of Lily's flight; then he will pursue her tomorrow night. Lily will hate me forever, but I will do it, if only Sirius would thank me for it. Sniffling, he departed to look for Sirius.

---

Late the next night, the faerie Narcissa was skipping through the forest, sprinkling dew and kissing flowers and all that other stuff faeries do. She was busy kissing the dew on an oak tree when a rustle in the leaves made her look up. It was another faerie, this one a man with long, pale-blonde hair. Narcissa straightened up as the faerie, whose name was Lucius, spoke. How now, spirit! Wither wander you?

Over hill, over dale, through bush, through briar, through flood, through fire... oh, forget it. I wander everywhere. But I must go; our queen and all our elves come here anon.

Lucius' grey eyes narrowed. The king doth keep his revels here tonight; take heed the queen come not within his sight. Arthur is passing fell and wrath; because she, as her attendant, has a lovely boy, stolen from an Indian king. She never had so sweet a changeling; and jealous Arthur would have the child knight of his train. But she won't give him up, and now they never meet in grove or green. Their arguments would send you fleeing.

Narcissa tilted her head to study him. Either I mistake your shape and making quite, or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite called Lucius; are you not he that frightens the maidens in the village, skims milk, and makes the drink bear no barm? Do you not mislead night-wanderers, laughing at their harm? Those that Hobgoblin call you, Lucius, you do their work, and they have good luck. Are you not he?

You're right; I am that merry wanderer of the night. I jest to Arthur, and make him smile... but watch out, faerie, here he comes.

And here my mistress, Narcissa gulped. Would that he were gone! She fled, and Lucius leaned against a tree to watch as the king and queen approached. The pair stopped and glared at each other.

Ill met by moonlight, proud Molly, Arthur said.

Molly huffed. What, jealous Arthur! Faeries, skip hence; I have foresworn his bed and his company.

You harlot! Am I not your lord? Arthur demanded.

Then I must be your lady, Molly responded coolly. But I know about you, when you steal away from faerie-land; I know about your little affairs. But then, that Amazon queen, your love, to Albus must be wedded; and you come to give their bed joy and prosperity.

For shame! How can you accuse me? Arthur asked. How, when you are in love with Albus?

Molly looked away. These are the forgeries of jealousy; and never, since the middle of spring, have we met on hill, in dale, forest, or mead; by paved fountain, or brook, or at the sea. With your jealousy, you've ruined our sport. The winds are angry, and have sucked up the sea. Fog covers the land and all rivers are overflowing. The seasons are in disarray.

Why should you cross me, then? Arthur asked. All I ask is a little changeling boy to be my henchman.

Forget it. You can't have him, Molly said firmly. His mother was a priestess of my order, and she was a dear friend. She and I sat up late nighttimes, watching the ships on the sea, and talking. But she was a mortal, and died bearing her child; and for her sake I will not part with him.

How long are you staying here? Arthur asked.

Probably until after Albus' wedding day; if you will patiently dance in our round, and see our moonlight revels, go with us. If not, shun me, and I will spare your haunts.

Give me that boy and I will go with thee, Arthur said swiftly.

Not for thy faerie kingdom. Faeries, away; if I stay, we'll be arguing all night. Molly beckoned to her faeries, and they departed. Arthur glared after her for awhile, then turned to his attendant.



Lucius saluted.

Once, while on my travels, while gazing at the sky, I did behold how the moon's light fell upon a marvelous flower. This flower is purple, and maidens call it love-in-idleness. Fetch me that flower. The juice of it on sleeping eyelids laid will make man or woman madly dote upon the next living creature it sees. Arthur said.

Lucius nodded. Yes, my lord. He disappeared.

Once I have this juice, I'll watch Molly when she is asleep, Arthur said to himself. And drop the liquor of it in her eyes; and the next thing she sees upon waking - be it lion, bear, or wolf, or bull, on meddling monkey or busy ape - she shall pursue it with the soul of love. And when I take this charm off her sight, as I can take it with another herb, I'll make her render up her page to me. He paused at the sound of hurrying footsteps. Who is coming? I am invisible; I will overhear their conversation.

At that moment, Sirius strode out of the trees, looking furious. His long black hair streamed out behind him, and his eyes were narrowed. Behind him came Remus, looking desperate.

I don't love you; stop following me! Sirius shouted over his shoulder. Where are James and Lily? You told me they'd be here. Here I am, but they're not. Go away, and follow me no more.

You draw me, you hard-hearted adamant. But you draw not iron; for my heart is as true as steel. Get rid of your power to draw, and I shall have no power to follow you.

Do I entice you? Sirius demanded. Do I say sweet things to you? Or, rather, do I not in plainest truth tell you I do not, cannot love you?

And even for that do I love you the more. Remus whispered. I am your spaniel, and Sirius, the more you beat me the more I will fawn on you. Beat me, spurn me, hate me, but just let me continue to follow you.

Don't tempt my hatred, Sirius warned. I am sick when I look on thee.

And I am sick when I look not on you, Remus replied softly.

You're pretty bold, to leave the city and commit yourself into the hands of one who doesn't love you, Sirius muttered.

You're the only one in the world who matters to me, Remus said. You are the world. How can it be said that I am alone, when you are here?

I'll run away and hide, and leave you at the mercy of the wild beasts, Sirius grumbled.

The wildest has not a heart like yours. Run if you want, but I will follow you to the ends of the earth!

Chase me if you will, but I shall do thee mischief in the wood.

I'll follow you, Remus repeated. Do me mischief if you will, even if I die by the hand I love so well.

Sirius snorted in disgust, turned on his heel, and ran away. Remus followed him, tears running down his cheeks. Arthur felt very sorry for the poor young man, but his thoughts were interrupted when Lucius returned with the flower Arthur had requested.

Lucius, take some of this nectar. A light-haired young man is in love with a dark, disdainful youth. Anoint his eyes; but do it when he will see the other lad. You will know him by the Hogwarts robes he wears. Don't screw up, and meet me before the sun rises.

Lucius bowed. Yes, my lord.

---

In another part of the wood, Molly had just lain down to sleep. Arthur waited until her faerie attendants had left, and crept out of hiding. What you see when you wake, whether it be beast or monster, it will be your love. Wake when some vile creature is near.

He departed, just as Lily and James entered the clearing where, unseen by them, Molly slept.

I'm sorry, my love, James said, embarrassed. I've gotten us lost, and I fear you are faint with long hours of wandering in the wood. I think we should rest, and wait for break of day.

Be it so, Lily replied. I will sleep here; you should lie further off.

James took her hand. This place can serve as a bed for two.

No, my dear James. For my sake, do not lie so near. For love and courtesy, do as I ask.

All right, James gave in. Goodnight, my love. He went to sleep under a tree not far away.

They had barely dozed off when Lucius entered the clearing. I've looked everywhere, but I have not yet found this dark, disdainful youth. But - wait. He had just seen James sleeping on the ground, but he did not see Lily. Here he is. He dripped some of the flower's juice on James' eyelids. Wake when I am gone; I must meet with Arthur. He disappeared, just as Remus and Sirius entered the clearing.

Stay with me, Sirius, Remus was pleading.

I told you, stop following me, Sirius snapped.

Will you leave me? Please don't, Remus begged.

Stay on thy peril; I alone will go, Sirius said waspishly, striding away into the trees. Remus sank to the ground.

I'm exhausted from this chase, he said unhappily. Blessed is Lily; she is so pretty. How came she by such beauty? I am as ugly as a troll, and beasts that meet me run in fear. I suppose it's no surprise that Sirius does the same... He jumped up. Who's that over there? James? Dead, or asleep? I see no wound. James, if you are alive, please wake up!

James' eyelids fluttered, and he yawned and sat up. He looked around blearily. When he saw Remus, his eyes lit up.

Remus! Nature here shows art. Where is Sirius? How fit a word, to perish upon my sword!

Remus blinked. Don't say that, James. Would you kill him over Lily? He loves her, but she loves you; with Lily be content.

Content with Lily? James frowned. No, I repent all the tedious minutes I spent with her. Not Lily, but Remus, do I love; why should I look upon a raven rather than a dove? The will of man is swayed by reason, and reason says you are the worthier. It is you, Remus, whom I love!

How do I deserve this cruel mockery? Remus said, tears welling in his eyes. When by your hands did I deserve this scorn? Is it not enough that I never did receive a sweet glance from Sirius' eye, but that you must mock my insufficiency? You do me wrong to woo me in such a disdainful manner. He stood. I must confess, I thought you a lord of true gentleness! he turned and ran off into the trees.

James stood as well, looking over at the sleeping form of Lily. Lily, sleep thou there; and never come near me again! I do not love you. By all my powers, I shall honour Remus, and be his knight! And with that, he chased after Remus.

Lily woke up just as James disappeared into the darkness. Help, James! Help me remove this serpent from my breast! She looked around. Oh, a nightmare - I dreamt a serpent ate my heart away, while James smiled at his cruel prey. James! Where is he? James! Out of hearing? Gone, no sound, no word? Where are you? Speak, beloved, I am afraid! -No? Then I guess you're not around; either death or you I'll find immediately. She got to her feet and headed off in the same direction as James and Remus.

---

Meanwhile, Molly was still sleeping. As she slept, someone else wandered into her clearing. This was Peter, another resident of Hogwarts. He was a fat, clumsy man who was rather arrogant and full of himself. He had nicked a bottle of wine from the duke's cellars, and had smuggled it out here to enjoy. As he sat down against a tree and uncorked the bottle, Lucius appeared.

What idiot is here, so near the cradle of the faerie queen? Lucius wondered, studying Peter. He is a drunk and a lout - look, the queen is near to waking. I'll help Arthur's plan along. He snapped his fingers, and Peter's head was replaced with that of an ass. Chuckling, Lucius sat back to watch the festivities.

Molly awoke, sitting up and yawning. Her eyes fell upon the man with the ass' head,who was drinking a bottle of wine. As with James, the flower's spell was instantaneous, and she fell in love.

That's good wine, Peter said happily, not noticing that his head was no longer his own. Molly approached him, enchanted.

I pray thee, gentle mortal, to speak again; my ear is much enamored of your voice. On first view, I swear to you, I love thee.

Peter blinked. Methinks, mistress, you should have little reason for that. But, love and reason keep very little company these days.

Molly sighed. You are as wise as you are beautiful.

Not so, either; but I hope I have enough sense to get out of this wood.

Out of this wood desire not to go; you will stay whether you want to or no. I am no common spirit - the summer depends on my state. I do love thee; go with me, and I'll give thee faeries to attend on thee. They shall fetch thee jewels, and sing thee to sleep. Andromeda! Alice! Bellatrix! and Narcissa!

The four faeries appeared.

Wait upon this beautiful creature, feed him and fan him; nod to him, elves, and do him courtesies.

The four faeries exchanged glances, then looked skeptically at the man with the ass' head; but they bowed to him anyway. Hail, mortal!

---

In another part of the wood, Arthur was sitting on a stump, wondering if Molly was awake yet, and what horrible, monstrous creature she had fallen in love with if she was. As he chuckled to himself, Lucius appeared.

Here comes my messenger - how now, mad spirit? Arthur inquired. What is going on here?

Lucius smiled. My mistress is in love with a monster. While she slept, a drunken lout did appear to drink a bottle of stolen wine; I took advantage of the situation, and gave him an ass' head! When folk see him, they shall flee, screaming - but Molly awoke and beheld him. Now she loves an ass!

Arthur laughed. This is better than I could have hoped! But - did you anoint the eyes of the young man from Hogwarts?

I took him sleeping, that is finished. The pale young man lay by his side; when he awakes, he shall fall in love.

Just then, Sirius and Lily entered the clearing. Arthur smiled. There he is.

Lucius looked puzzled. This is not the youth I anointed.

As Arthur gaped at Lucius, realising what had happened, Sirius was pleading with Lily. Why do you rebuke the man who loves you so? Lay breath so bitter on your bitter foe.

I'm chiding now, but I should do thee worse, Lily snapped. For you, I fear, has given me cause to curse. If you have slain James in his sleep, kill me too. He never would have left my side! It cannot be but you have murdered him, you look as grim as a murderer!

Me? I am grim because you lay scorn upon me, Sirius whimpered pathetically. You look just as grim; how do I know it was not you who killed James?

I did not kill him. Where is he, Sirius? Give him to me!

I'd rather give his carcass to my hounds, Sirius scoffed.

Lily picked up a rock and threw it at him, narrowly missing him. Out, dog! Out, cur! You have driven me past the bounds of a maiden's patience! You killed him, didn't you? You murdered him in his sleep!

You're yelling at me for no reason, Sirius argued. I am not guilty of James' blood; nor is he dead, for all I know.

Then tell me where he is.

If I could, what would I get in return?

A privilege to see me nevermore! Lily snarled. From thy hated presence I part; see me no more whether he is dead or not. She turned sharply on her heel and stormed away. Sirius sunk down on the ground, brushing his long hair out of his eyes.

It's no use chasing her while she is so angry with me, Sirius muttered to himself. I'm so tired; sorrow's heaviness does grow heavier. I think I'll take a nap. He curled up and closed his eyes. Arthur glared at Lucius.

What have you done? You've mistaken the man, and laid the juice on some true-love's sight! Go, find Remus of Hogwarts and bring him here; he is fancy-sick, and pale of cheer. By some illusion bring him here! I'll charm Sirius' eyes for when Remus doth appear.

I go, I go, look how I go, Lucius said hurriedly. Swifter than an arrow from the bow. He disappeared.

Arthur knelt by Sirius and dripped the flower's juice onto his eyelids. Flower of this purple dye, hit with Cupid's archery, sink in the apple of his eye! When his love appears, let him shine as Venus in the sky!

Lucius returned. My lord, Remus is at hand, and the youth mistook by me is pleading for a lover's fee - Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Remus and James came running into the clearing, as Arthur and Lucius hid to watch. Their racket shall awake Sirius, Arthur whispered.

Why do you think I woo with scorn? James was saying to Remus. Look, I vow, and I weep!

You certainly are clever, Remus said. He was in tears. These vows belong to Lily; will you betray her?

I must have been mad when I swore myself to her! James cried.

You're still mad, Remus said.

Sirius loves her, and he loves not you! James argued. At that moment, Sirius woke up, and spotted Remus.

He stood up very quickly and smoothed his hair. Remus! Love, god, perfect, divine! To what, my love, shall I compare your eyes? Crystal is muddy! Your sweet, kissable lips, red as cherries - so tempting! That pure white skin! You are a prince.

Oh spite! Oh hell! Remus wept. I understand now. You are all putting on to humiliate me for your amusement! If you were truly gentlemen, you would not do me such injury! Is it not enough that you hate me, that you must mock me as well? You are both rivals, to love Lily; and now both rivals, to mock Remus! Would you so offend me?!

You're so mean, Sirius, James snapped. Knock it off. You love Lily; here, with all my good will and all my heart, I yield up my love for Lily to you. Yield up your love for Remus to me - I love him, and will until my death.

Never did mockers waste more idle breath, Remus wept.

Keep Lily, James, Sirius snarled. If ever did I love her, that love is gone. My heart strayed to her, but now it has returned to Remus, and will remain there!

No, for I love Remus! James argued.

Watch out, Sirius snapped, for thy love is near.

Lily, attracted by the commotion in the woods, had found her way to the others. She looked from Sirius and James, who were glaring at each other, to Remus, who was crying quietly into his cupped hands. There you are, James; it's too dark to see anything less than a foot away, but your voices can be heard for miles! Why did you leave me?

Why should I stay, when my love presses me to go? James asked.

What love could steal thee from my side? Lily demanded.

My love for Remus! James replied. Why did you seek me? Couldn't you understand that the hate I feel for you made me leave?

You speak not the truth, Lily whispered, ashen-faced.

I get it! Remus cried. Lily, too, is part of this conspiracy! I understand! You all joined together to play this trick on me! Injurious Lily! Most ungrateful maid! Have you joined with these two, to think this up? Have you forgotten all the time we spent together? The secrets we shared? All school-days' friendship and childhood innocence? Lily, you and I have always been inseparable! It was almost as if we were one! Will you now destroy our ancient friendship and join with these two men to scorn me?

I am shocked by your words, Lily said. I scorn you not; it seems you scorn me.

Have you not sent James to follow me, and praise me? And made your other love, Sirius - who has hated me for so long - to call me divine, god, precious, celestial? He hates me, why would he say those things to me? And why would James deny your love and turn to me? Is this just because I am unfortunate? Do you mean to make me feel worse? Remus sniffled.

Lily put her hands on her hips. What are you talking about, Remus?

Go ahead, play innocent, Remus snapped. Act like you don't know what's going on, but laugh and wink at each other when my back is turned. If you had any pity, grace, or manners, you would stop this! But I suppose it is partly my own fault; death or absence shall remedy that! And he made to leave.

Don't go, gentle Remus! James begged. My love, my life, my soul, fair Remus!

Lily stared at James in amazement. Love, do not mock him so!

If Lily's request doesn't work, I can compel, Sirius growled, rolling up his sleeves.

You two cannot stop me; your threats and prayers are weak. Remus, I love thee! I swear I will kill he that says I love thee not! James cried.

I say I love you more than he can! Sirius yelled.

If you think so, come and prove it, James snarled.

Come on, then!

James, stop it! Lily said, grabbing his arm.

Away, hag! James shouted.

Sirius laughed. He wouldn't have the courage to take me on anyway!

Lily grabbed James by the arm to keep him from jumping at Sirius. Get off, you cat, you burr! James shouted. Vile thing, let loose, or I will shake thee from me like a serpent!

How have you grown so rude? Lily cried. What change is this, sweet love?

Love? Out, out! Out, loathed medicine! Out, hated poison, go hence! James shook her off.

You are jesting, are you not? Lily wept.

Yes, he does; and so do you! Remus cried.

James glared at Sirius. Sirius, I will keep my word with thee!

I don't think I trust your word, Sirius said smoothly. Why don't you turn your hand on Lily?

James stared at him in disbelief. Should I hit her, strike her, kill her? Though I hate her, I shall not harm her so!

Hate me? Lily cried in dismay. What news is this? Am I not Lily? Are you not James? I am as fair as I ever was. Since night you loved me; yet since night you have left me - in earnest, shall I say?

By my life, I wished never to see thee again, James said scathingly. Therefore, be out of hope, be out of doubt, be certain of nothing truer - tis no jest that I hate thee and love Remus!

Lily whirled on Remus. You canker! You thief of love! Have you come by night, and stolen my heart from him?

Have you no modesty? Remus demanded. Will you accuse me of such, you puppet?

I see! Lily shrieked. So that's how it is! You mock me with your height? With your height, you have triumphed; are you grown so high in his esteem because I am so dwarfish and so low? How low am I? I am not yet so low that my nails cannot reach into your eyes. And she advanced on Remus, her long fingernails hooked in front of her face.

Remus backed away in a hurry. Though you mock me, gentlemen, I ask that you not let her hurt me! he said to Sirius and James. I am a coward. Please do not let her hurt me. Though I am taller than her, I am no match for her in a fight.

Hark! Again! Lily growled. She was very sensitive about her height.

Good Lily, be not so with me, Remus said softly to his friend. I loved you so, Lily, and always kept your secrets. I never wronged you, except, when in love for Sirius, told him of your stealth into this wood. He followed you; for love I followed him, but he yelled at me, and threatened to strike me, spurn me, and kill me too. But if you will let me, I will go back to Hogwarts, and follow you no further. Let me go : I mean no harm!

Then go! Lily snapped. Who's stopping you?

A foolish heart that I leave behind here, Remus said sadly.

What! With James? Lily asked.

With Sirius, Remus whispered.

Don't be afraid, Remus, James said quickly. I won't let her hurt you.

No, she shall not, Sirius said firmly.

When she's angry, she is so scary, Remus said. Though she is but little, she is fierce.

Little again! Lily spat. Nothing but low and little! Why will you let him tease me like this? Let me go to him!

Get you gone, you dwarf! James shouted. You insignificant speck, you bead, you acorn.

Leave him alone, Sirius said warningly. I will protect you, Remus.

James glared. No, I shall! Come with me, and we shall see who shall be Remus' champion!

My pleasure, Sirius growled, and he and James stalked off to find a better place to fight in. Lily drew herself to her full height and glared daggers at Remus.

This is all your fault!

I don't trust you, Remus said warily. Your hands are quicker than mine for a fray; my legs are longer, though, to run away. He dashed off to follow Sirius and James, hoping to prevent any bloodshed. Lily stared after him, then followed. Arthur and Lucius crept out of hiding.

Look what you've done! Arthur said. Are you sure you didn't do this on purpose?

No, my lord, I mistook one dark-haired youth for another! Lucius defended himself. You told me I would know him by his Hogwarts robes! I only did as you bade me, and I'm glad of it, too, because it is such fun to watch.

Arthur sighed. The lovers seek a place to fight. Lucius, overcast the night with drooping, heavy fog. Lead these rivals far astray, so they will not come within each other's way. Imitate James to anger Sirius; imitate Sirius to anger James. Lead them on until they fall asleep; then in James' eye crush this herb, to take away all error in his sight. When they next wake, all will seem as a dream, and back to Hogwarts will the lovers wend. While you do this, I shall go to my queen and beg her Indian boy; then lift the charm from her eye, and all shall be as it was.

Lucius bowed. I will make haste! He set out to find James, which didn't take very long.

Where are you, Sirius? James was shouting, unable to see through Lucius' heavy fog. Speak, you coward!

Lucius assumed Sirius' voice. Here, villain. Drawn and ready!

I will be with thee straight! James shouted, following Lucius' voice. He had barely vanished into the trees when Sirius emerged. He had heard James shout, but couldn't see a thing.

James! Speak again! You runaway, you coward, have you fled? Speak! Where are you? Hiding in the bushes? He kicked a bush, hoping James was inside.

Lucius changed his voice to sound like James'. Coward, are you challenging the bushes to a war, and afraid to seek me? Come, child; I'll whip you with a rod. I would not defile a sword on thee!

So you are there! Sirius charged off, thinking he was following James. His footsteps had just faded when James returned.

I keep hearing him, he leads me on, he sighed. But when I come to where he calls, he is gone. He runs faster than I, the villain. I am so t-tired... He yawned, laid down, and fell asleep.

A little ways away, Lucius was following Sirius, taunting him in James' voice while the young man became increasingly furious. Finally, Sirius skidded to a halt. I can never find him in this accursed fog. Curse him, and the gods help him if I see him by daylight. But for now, I must sleep. He, too, flopped down on the ground and was asleep immediately.

Remus, meanwhile, had been unable to find either Sirius, James, or the way back to Hogwarts. He was very tired. O long and tedious night! he said. Abate thy hours! Shine comforts from the East, so I may return to Hogwarts by daylight! He curled up under a tree and dozed off.

Only three? Lucius observed. One more, then. Two and two makes four - here she comes, cursed and sad.

Lily had stumbled out of the trees. Her beautiful red hair was disheveled and the hem of her fine gown muddied. Never have I been so weary. I can no longer walk, run, or even crawl. Here I will rest until break of day; Heaven protect James, if he and Sirius mean a fight. She, too, fell asleep.

Lucius smiled. He pulled an herb, the remedy, from his pocket and knelt beside James. When thou wakest, take true delight in the sight of thy former lover's eye. he intoned, applying the juice to James' eyelids. The man shall have his mare again, and all will be well.

---

Molly was still doting on Peter, still unaware that she was under a spell. Arthur, invisible, appeared to watch. The four faeries were making up a comfy bed of flowers for Peter, while Molly talked to him.

Sit thee down, my love, she said, stroking his long ears. Peter grunted in delight. Andromeda scratched his head for him, Alice brought him honey to eat, Bellatrix helped Andromeda scratch Peter's head, and Narcissa brought Peter all kinds of things to eat. He refused the cakes and meats, instead asking for hay and dried peas. Molly just smiled lovingly.

Sleep, my love, and I will wind thee in my arms. Faeries, be gone, and be all ways away. Oh, how I love thee! I dote on thee! Peter and Molly fell asleep. Arthur and Lucius approached.

I feel bad about this, now, Arthur said. She has given me her child, and her faeries have borne him to my faerie-land. Now that I have the boy, I will undo the charm. Lucius, take this transformed scalp from the head of this Hogwarts man; that he awake when the others do, and, like them, think it but a dream. First I will release the faerie queen. He touched her eyes with the herb. Wake, my Molly, my sweet queen.

Molly yawned and opened her eyes. My Arthur! I had a strange dream : methinks I was in love with an ass!

There lies your love, Arthur said, pointing to Peter. Molly blinked.

Ugh! How did this happen? How I loathe his face now! she cried.

Lucius, take off his head, Arthur said. Lucius did as he was told, and Peter's head returned to normal. Now, we must go and prepare for tomorrow midnight; you and I, Molly, shall dance in Duke Albus' house, and bless it. There all the pairs of lovers shall be wedded, with Albus, all in happiness.

Make haste, my king, Lucius whispered. The sun is rising.

The faeries vanished, just as Albus, Frank, Minerva, and their servants entered the wood. They found four people lying asleep in the grass. Frank started.

My lord! My daughter lies here asleep; here is James, and Sirius. This is Remus, old Devereaux's Remus; I wonder of their being here together.

No doubt, they rose early to observe the rite of May. Albus said. But, Frank, is this not the day Lily should tell us her choice?

It is, my lord.

Go, bid the huntsmen to wake them with their horns.

Frank hurried over to the huntsmen and whispered to them. They nodded, and gave a great blast on their horns. James, Lily, Sirius, and Remus were startled awake, and scrambled to their feet, brushing grass and leaves from their clothes.

Good morning, friends, Dumbledore smiled. What are you doing here? You two are rival enemies, how come you to lie here together?

I beg your pardon, my lord, James said. I cannot truly say how I came here; but I think I came with Lily hither. Our purpose was to steal from Hogwarts, where we might be wed.

Enough, my lord! Frank cried. I would have the law upon his head! They would have stolen away, they would, Sirius, to defeat you and me: you of your wife, me of my consent! Of my consent that she should be your wife!

Sirius shook his head. My lord, fair Remus told me of their stealth, and I in anger followed them, fair Remus in fancy following me. But, my good lord, I do not know by what power - my love for Lily melted as the snow; it seems to me now to be foolish. The object and the pleasure of my eye is only Remus. To him, my lord, was I betrothed even before I met Lily; but, I did loathe him, as a sick man loathes food - but, as in health, did return to my natural tastes. Now do I wish for him, long for him, love him, and will forever more be true to him. He smiled and took Remus' hand.

Albus smiled as well. Fair lovers, you are fortunately met. Frank, I override your will. In the temple, these couples shall eternally be knit. Now back to Hogwarts; we shall hold a great feast in honour. Albus, Minerva, Frank, and the servants turned and left, while James, Lily, Sirius, and Remus exchanged looks.

You know, this all feels weird, Sirius said.

Something like a hallucination, Lily agreed.

So I think; and I have found Sirius like a jewel, Remus said softly.

It seems to me that we were asleep, in a dream, Sirius mused. Did the duke bid us to follow him?

Yes, and my father, Lily said.

And Minerva, Remus added.

He did ask us to follow him to the temple, James said.

I guess we're awake, then, Sirius shrugged. Let us follow him, and recount our dreams.

As the lovers turned to follow the duke, Peter finally awoke. (He had lain unnoticed by the others in the wood.)

Peter rubbed his head. What an odd dream had I! I dreamt I lay with the faerie queen, and that I had the head of a ass. He struggled to his feet. This is what I get for drinking too much stolen liquor! he said, stumbling off towards his home.

---

That day was the wedding for the three couples. It was a beautiful event indeed, with hundreds of skilled musicians playing for the dancing, and the most delicious food and wines in the kingdom. The bridal couples were dressed in the most elaborate, beautiful robes; all were positively glowing with happiness.

Finally, it was time for bed. Albus and Minerva watched in amusement as the younger people went to bed - James carrying Lily in his arms, laughing at Sirius, who couldn't seem to persuade Remus to allow himself to be carried upstairs. As soon as two doors had shut, Minerva spoke.

It is indeed a strange tale these lovers tell, she said.

More strange than true. I may never believe these faerie tales, my love. Lovers and madmen have such seething brains, such fantasies, that apprehend their reason. Too much imagination may be dangerous, Dumbledore responded.

Still, it is strange that all four should have the same dream, Minerva murmured, as she and Dumbledore departed for bed.

---

James and Lily lay quietly on their bed, looking out the window at the full moon. James stroked Lily's silken red hair lovingly, and Lily sighed blissfully, snuggling closer. I am so happy, my dearest, she murmured sleepily.

As am I, James whispered. Even if it was but a dream, it did us some good. You and I are at last together, and Remus has found happiness in Sirius' arms.

And still, how strange, Lily laughed softly. As if I could hate Remus. He is my dearest, dearest friend. Save you, my love. She rested her hand against his cheek.

James kissed her cheek. And you are mine. His fingers moved to the the laces of her gown, undoing them carefully. Lily helped him to remove her of the emerald-green silk, running a hand through his untidy black hair. James placed light kisses along her slender neck. I love you.

Lily undid his tunic and cast it aside. And I love you. she said sweetly, drawing him down to her and kissing him.

---

Sirius, be careful - Remus warned, as Sirius carried him into their bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him. Sirius - ack!

Sirius had stumbled headlong into the bed and tripped over it, dropping Remus rather hard on the mattress and nearly falling on him. Remus giggled helplessly as his husband stood on one foot, muttering softly and rubbing his shin. Remus took off his boots and scooted over as Sirius joined him on the bed.

To finally be in your arms again, he whispered, as Sirius drew him into an embrace. He played absently with a strand of Sirius' long hair. I have longed for this forever, it seems.

So did I, though I did not know it, Sirius said softly. He slowly undressed Remus, running his fingers along his pale, creamy skin, and through his tawny hair. Would that this were our first time. I did you a great wrong, my love, by taking you out-of-doors, in the grass, like an animal! He kissed Remus' forehead.

With a peaceful sigh, Remus smiled a little. No, my sweet. No regrets. I do not hate you for that, but if you are ashamed, then let this be as our first time.

Sirius chuckled. And without the grass tickling us, we will be better to tickle each other, he teased, before their lips met.

-The End-

---

(A/N: Obviously, this was an edited-down version of A Midsummer Night's Dream', and I wrote it up in a way that would make it easier to understand, for the reader's sake. I have also cut out some parts, such as the play on the lovers' wedding night. I mean, come on. A play within a play? A little tedious, don't you think? And I chopped out a lot of unnecessary characters, as well. I would have cut out Bottom and the faeries entirely, but I just couldn't resist giving Peter a donkey's head. Please don't be angry with me! I truly love Shakespeare, and this is one of his best plays. I tried to recreate it with some of my most beloved characters, and I sincerely apologize to anyone who sees this as the butchering of a classic.)