Point to note: This is not the companion piece to 'Heavy Is The Head That Wears The Crown' - I'm still trying to work on that one :)
Hope you enjoy…
Title: Bite Your Tongue Until It Bleeds
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Summary: Neal didn't like guns, Kate didn't like Alex, Alex didn't like being uninformed and Mozzie didn't like having to plan rescue missions. They each had their reasons, and they all had to do with a certain con gone wrong.
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"Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity."
Louis Pasteur
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Alex rolled her eyes. "How much longer are you going to stay mad at your little girlfriend?" she asked, her tone clearly indicating how unimpressed she was that the topic even existed, nevermind that she'd broached it.
Neal's head shot up.
"Not that I'm not enjoying your company, what with the scintillating conversation you're providing," Alex continued, her tone lifting with the half smirk that twisted her lips. "But don't you think it's time you left?"
"You're kicking me out?" He sounded almost incredulous; there was the kicker.
"Come on, Neal, let's be serious for a minute," she said, leveling her gaze against his. "You're hiding out here, out of some misguided sense of responsibility that you think you have for me. Don't. It's insulting for both of us."
He watched her carefully.
"I'm a big girl, Neal," she told him. "It was my decision to take the gun from you, and I have to deal with the consequences. So, please, for all of our sakes, would you just get over it already?"
"Yeah, but you wouldn't have had the gun if I hadn't listened to Kate when she said we needed it," he countered quickly, his anger evident, though it wasn't directed at her. Alex wasn't even sure it was directed at his girlfriend, probably at himself, the stupid man. "You shouldn't have had to deal with the consequences. I was the one to take the gun. I was the one who should've got my ass handed to me when it was discovered."
Alex released a short laugh then. "Oh, gee, thanks. Way to kick me when I'm down. Rub it in a bit more about my incompetence for getting caught, why don't you?"
Neal shot her a look. "Come on, you know what I mean."
"What I know is that you're playing Adam with a much more manipulative Eve, trying to pretend your idyllic Garden of Eden still exists," she told him, shooting him a look she knew he'd try desperately to decipher in the extra seconds she left herself exposed.
"Nice analogy, so what's Moz? Moses?" he asked. "He parted the Red Sea, which I suppose is a bit like how Moz always ensures we've got an escape route. Or would that be you, because you set the rules that will undoubtedly ensure order in our little group?"
She blinked, and fit him with an unimpressed lift of the eyebrows; his tone of mockery was not appreciated.
"Maybe you're the female Abraham?" Neal carried on, unperturbed. "Offering up yourself and whatever talents you possess as sacrifice in lieu of your only son?"
"Now you're just insulting Bible bashers everywhere," Alex remarked, laughingly.
She didn't point out that she always had an alternate exit herself, and that if he had some more rules to live by himself maybe he wouldn't be so easily swayed.
"But I'm not insulting you?" Neal said, catching onto the undertone easily.
Alex rolled her eyes. "Would you stop already? We all know Kate and I don't get along, and we're not going to get along. Toting around a grudge to top it all off, because you think I should blame her for whatever happened to me, is beneath me."
His eyes never left hers, and she dragged in a deep breath.
"Thanks, but no thanks. I'll leave the childish resentment to you, it's clearly working out ecstatically for you so far," she said before he could catch onto the opportunity and ask what actually did happen to her. Then she turned on her heel to walk away from him.
Neal caught her by the arm and pulled her round to face him, until they stood face-to-face, his eyes flickering down to lock on her lips as she pulled in a shaky breath. She exhaled slowly and inwardly berated herself, taking the moment to compose herself and try and ignore the fact that his hand had migrated downwards, his fingers now threaded through hers.
"I'm not going to have sex with you because that's your way of comforting me and you're mad at your girlfriend," she told him, matter-of-factly.
"I wasn't going to try and seduce you, Alex," was his simple response, his lips pulled up into an easy smile.
"Right, because your actions towards me have always been so innocent and virginal," Alex threw back, with a derisive laugh and a look off to the side.
He ducked his head, and released a chuckle; she hated herself for letting her gaze linger on his smile, half-hidden, though she easily sought it out.
"Kate would love to run me the riot act as the scorned woman," she told him, with a roll of the eyes and impatience resonating from her words. "I'm not particularly in the mood to fuel her fire. Your girlfriend likes to use weapons."
"Thought you weren't harboring any ill-feelings towards her about that?" he returned, without missing a beat.
"I'm not, I was stating a fact," she replied smarmily.
"Right," he remarked, unconvinced.
"Well, someone's got to keep an eye on her – she could turn out to be homicidal with violent tendencies like that," Alex defended, with a shrug and shimmied out of his touch to walk by him.
Neal spun round. "So, you're not holding any grudges, you're just being slanderous."
"Not slander if it's true." Alex threw a look over her shoulder at him and practically sing-song-ed her response.
"Oh, so that's the angle you're going to play now?" he replied, advancing towards her as she turned and leaned against the counter. The smirk on his face suggested he suspected her of something unspoken, implied.
"No angle," she countered instantly, her tone still light. "Jealousy's also on that list of things that are beneath me."
She held up a hand, looking away with an expression of distaste.
"Don't even try a line on me," she said, and her gaze shifted to meet his. "I don't care if I set you up for it."
Neal chuckled, shaking his head at her. "I think you're forgetting I'm in a relationship."
"Right," Alex said, nodding her head as if the realization had just hit her, "with Kate."
He tilted his head to the side, lips curled up in a half smile. "You sure jealousy's on that list?"
She shot him a glare. "Just because I disapprove of your choice of girlfriend, doesn't mean I'm jealous."
He raised an eyebrow in clear skepticism.
"It just means I know I'm better than her, and I'm disappointed in you for not seeing the light already," she informed him, and flashed him a smile.
"Look, just because I'm seeing Kate, doesn't mean you have to – "
"Like I said, Neal," Alex cut him off, with a tight smile, and patted his chest in a half-patronizing manner. "I know I'm better than her."
And with that, she sashayed out the door, leaving him to watch her go and no choice but to follow after her.
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"Don't worry, we didn't sleep together, the group set-up is still in place," Alex announced to the room as soon as she stepped inside. "I mean, I tried to seduce him, obviously, but he's wily. Don't know how he resisted actually, I even used some of my best moves."
Neal shot her a look. "Really, Alex? That's how you want to play this?"
"Oh, fine." She heaved a sigh, and rolled her eyes. "Don't play the game. 'Suppose there's a first time for everything."
Kate appeared before her, making a point to stand nearest Neal, and openly glared at her.
"Must you two always create such a hostile environment?" Mozzie asked from his place in the corner, as he lifted his head to look at the females triangulating with his friend. "You really know how to ruin the ambiance."
"I remember you being more fun, Mozzie, what happened?" Alex said then, craning her neck to look past Kate at the small man.
"A certain member of our team got carted away by a bunch of heavies, leaving me to do reconnaissance and plan a rescue mission," he replied, and he stared her down. "You know how I hate rescue missions, it means something didn't go according to plan, and nothing should go wrong in my plans, nothing!"
"And with the way you're reacting, anyone would think you'd been the one held by a group of overgrown, steroid-pumped henchmen," she rolled her eyes and directed her attention back to the two people next to her.
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They seemed to take inventory of her appearance then, and the injuries that she hadn't managed to cover up in her haste to get out of that place. The bruise on her cheek was easy enough to disguise with a smear of dirt, but she usually looked so polished that it wouldn't fly with those that actually spent any substantial amount of time with her.
She hadn't even bothered to attempt to conceal the cut that sliced vertically through her eyebrow, instead concentrating on the more obvious ones. She'd found a scarf that she'd tied round her neck to hide the bruises there, and pulling down the sleeves of her top kept the red marks and hand prints from view. She knew she was favoring one leg over the other and holding herself at a slight angle, but launching herself off high buildings had never been her preferred exit route so she could play that one off.
She didn't miss the gash by Neal's hairline, the dried blood that had some hair sticking to his skin. She hated the feeling that immediately ran through her at what it could mean; hated the accompanying feeling even more that told her he'd been hurt trying to help her and had obviously failed in his objective. Neal didn't fail at anything, and she hated the idea that she was the one to bring him down.
Self-loathing wasn't her style, though, so thankfully she snapped out of that fairly quickly. She reminded herself that the gun was Kate's, that Neal had taken it under the advisement of his beloved, and that Alex had been the one to try and rectify the situation only to be caught and beaten for her trouble.
Who said there was no honor among thieves?
She kept her mouth shut about them. It didn't matter that she had a vested interest in them evading those who caught up with her; they owed her.
It sort of helped that Mozzie had freaked out at the sight of the gun while she fit the couple with a hard glare and lectured them on how utterly stupid it was to carry while partaking in a heist like the one they were about to execute. At least she knew someone other than her had been able to resist Kate Moreau's supposed charm.
Sure, she might not have always agreed with Keller's methods, but the guy was supremely talented. As long as he never did anything to endanger her position, she didn't particularly care what he did in his own time. She'd seen what had happened when the little triangle had formed though, Caffrey on one side pitted against Keller on the other. The feud was exhausting to watch play out; like some ridiculously cliché story on a summer reading list, and eventually she'd washed her hands of them both.
Given the group's current make-up, it was obvious whom Kate had chosen. Alex refused to be part of anything as trivial as that. Her and Neal had history, sure, but it was obvious he was head over heels with Kate. She didn't like Kate, the girl could get the job done, but Alex only really tolerated her presence because she liked to work with the best, and Neal was the best.
She'd already lost out on a substantial amount of business because of the rift; she wasn't about to add to it. Whatever her feelings, she was smart, and she was a great businesswoman; she was always going to come out on top.
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"What happened to you, Alex?" Kate asked her then, breaking her from her previous thoughts.
"Why ruin the tale?" Alex replied, her eyes snapping up to look at the other woman, her flippant tone ringing off the walls with a piercing echo. "I'm sure your imagination will do it much better justice."
She stepped passed them, moving towards the room at the back of the apartment when Kate called out to her, stopping her in her tracks.
"I'm sorry."
"Really?" Alex asked, turning slowly to face her. "Well, that's something, I suppose. At least I won't feel bad about doing this anyway."
She whipped out the gun from the small of her back and pointed it straight at Kate, the nozzle directed right between her eyes.
"Now, tell me, Kate," Alex said, her expression unforgiving. "Do you feel protected?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Neal released, stepping towards Alex with his hands raised. "Put the gun down, Alex. What are you doing?"
"Well, I'm not going to shoot her, Neal, so you can rest assured she's safe for now," Alex answered, directing a scathing look his way, arm still raised. "I just want to hear what she has to say?"
She turned back to face the other woman fully. Out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of Mozzie pushing his glasses against the bridge of his nose and ducking his head further into his book. He might've been known for digging up information from near-vacuums of dead space and unrelenting sources, but he was wise to the ways of the people around him. He knew when not to get involved, one of his greatest assets.
"So, tell me, Kate," Alex said, with a tight smile, drawing out each word as she repeated, "Do you feel protected?"
"No," Kate answered finally, swallowing, her voice lifting as she continued, "Because you have my gun, and you could easily just shoot me with it."
"That's what I thought," Alex replied shortly.
Kate's narrowed her eyes, but kept silent. Smart move.
"Bring a gun on an operation I'm running again," Alex released the magazine and ejected the round from the chamber, "and I'll shoot you where you stand."
She tossed the gun and clip on the ground by Kate's feet.
"Alex," Neal appealed to her, holding out his hand, palm up.
"No, Neal," she dismissed him coldly. "I'm taking responsibility for my actions and the consequences I had to suffer. She can do the same."
"It's fine, Neal," Kate told him, her voice stronger than before.
She jutted out her chin and met Alex's eyes, and Alex cast Neal a glance as if to say: See? Your girl understands.
"Consider this the end of our business arrangement," she informed them, and walked out the room.
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Alex knew why Neal didn't like guns. It wasn't because he was scared of what he could do with one, or because she had been hurt trying to conceal the one he'd been talked into carrying during a certain heist.
He didn't like guns because they created more problems than solutions; they didn't return order, they caused chaos. Guns ruined his plans, tore apart the bonds he had with those around him; dissolved his carefully crafted life.
He didn't like guns because they had the ability to damage things beyond what his own good looks, winning charm and smooth talking could repair.
And Neal Caffrey wasn't a fan of anything that could supersede his own talents.
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"There is something that is much more scarce, something rarer than ability. It is the ability to recognize ability."
Robert Half
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The End.
This turned into something quite different from what I'd originally planned when I started writing it, but that's nothing new. I might attempt to actually write a Mozzie/Alex/Neal/Kate centric fic again, with more emphasis on the four of them than occurred here, but it depends what sort of inspiration hits ;)
Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think.
Steph
xxx
