We'll Be Alright
Description: To cope with her worries, Emma writes a letter to Henry.
Author's Note: Just a little drabble to move along the last stage of the hiatus. I do not own OUAT nor do I own the characters though I would not refuse a Josh Dallas. Enjoy!
x
Dear Henry -
Hey kid. To be honest, I'm not sure why I decided to write this if you won't see it yet. Maybe it's more of a way to deal with how much I miss you, and everything that's going on rather than lashing out or driving myself insane. I don't think either of those would help bring you back to me. So here goes nothing.
Henry, I miss you so much. So much that it doesn't even seem to be real. I feel like it's all a bad dream that I can't wake up from. I'm trying to be strong. We all are. I'm trying to be the savior that you want me to be, it's just really hard without my sidekick here with me. I know I wasn't the best person in the world, or the best mom ever, but you made me want to be a better version of both of those.
I never did get the chance to say thank you. I think about it all the time, the fact that if you never came to find me I would still be alone some place, still broken and empty inside, and still wondering why my parents tossed me away. The day you showed up at my door I know one of the first sentences that I said to you was that I didn't have a son. I've never forgiven myself for saying that because it sounded like I had forgotten all about you. Well here's the thing, I didn't. Growing up alone, going to jail, slaying a dragon, facing my parents after twenty-eight years, watching Neal die...none of those moments are even worth comparing to how hard it was to give you away. I loved you from the moment I found out about you, but I knew there was no way I could keep you. I had no home, no money, no family or friends; it was impossible. When they took you away from me I cried and begged for them to give you back to me, but they wouldn't. They couldn't. After that, I was completely broken. I shut everyone and everything out from that moment on.
There wasn't a single day in ten years that I didn't think of you and wondered if you were safe and happy. Every year on your birthday I bought a cupcake and lit it with a blue candle to remind me that even though you weren't in my arms or on my lap or asleep in your bedroom across from mine, you were a part of me. And that would never change.
So when I said I didn't have a son, I didn't mean it the way it sounded. Of course I knew you were the baby I had in my arms many years ago. The second I laid eyes on you I saw me. I saw your father. I saw that same baby. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like I didn't love you; I always have. I always will. Nothing could ever change that. My first instinct was to shut out anyone that could possibly hurt me. But you, you were the first one in a really long time that found their way around. You taught me how to love again. So you think I'm the savior? Kid, you are mysavior.
Oh, and you want to hear something funny? Regina showed me a picture of you from when you were little that she always keeps with her. You were almost two, with a big grin and tuffs of blonde, almost light brown hair. It hit me after I had walked away that I have a picture in my file that my first foster family took of me when I was about the same age, and I looked almost exactly like you did. Like almost in a scary way. Funny, right? I'll have to dig it out and we'll have to compare them when we get back. And David and Mar your grandparents. I think they'd like that too.
Speaking of them, I want to thank you for them too. I spent my whole life thinking that they abandoned me, and that they didn't love me. But I also searched fro them for as long as I can remember. But it was you that found them for me. You brought me home right before I was about to give up on finding them. I just wish I would have believed you from the beginning. That would have made it much easier on all of us. Regardless, thank you. Thank you for giving me the real family I've always dreamed of. (and by the way, your grandpa told me that when we get back, you and I have to swordfight to see who is better. He's been helping me out and says that I'm almost as good of an opponent as you. We shall see.)
If you have any doubt, which I know you don't, we're on our way. Me, Regina, Grandma, Gramps, Gold, and Hook- he's giving us a lift on his ship. See what you did, kid? We're all working together as a team, like I know you would have wanted. All of our differences have been set aside and no one's trying to kill each other anymore. Even Regina and I have settled our issues and we're all home, it will stay that way. Like you said, she's family.
We're gonna be okay. I promise. I don't want you to worry about us. Be brave, be strong, and have faith. Can you do that for me? Think of it as your own fairy tale adventure that you can tell us all about on the way home. Just because they kidnapped you doesn't make you a damsel in distress or anything of the sort. You were the one that really broke the curse. You were the one who brought me home. You were the one who risked your life just to make me believe. And now? You've singlehandedly made mortal enemies from decades ago join forces to find you. You're a hero, kid, and I'm so proud of you.
Leave all the worrying to us, okay? We're not quite sure how we're going to do this yet, but we will. We'll be alright, I can feel it. You're my best friend in the entire world, Henry. I love you so much.
- Mom
