Dead Inside

Once Upon a Time AU

Prologue

Okay, so I re-wrote the first 4 chapters, please enjoy!

Warning: This story contains verbal, physical, and sexual abuse. Also, depression and mentions of suicide and alcohol use are written. If you're easily triggered by these things, do not continue reading.


Regina ground her teeth together as Chaste went on about gods-knows what again. Regina didn't know what Chaste was talking about because her yelling was unintelligible and just sounded like screaming to her ears. The brunette looked at her fiance in distaste as she grabbed a bottle of strong apple cider from the alcohol cabinet. She then sat down on the love seat and continued to watch with a bored expression as Chaste went off like no tomorrow.

It was not always like this. Chaste and Regina were the perfect couple. They took each other out on dates, held hands in public, and were seen sharing content kisses in public. They were the definition of what true love was, well, besides Snow and Charming.

Anyways, they were always together, sharing smiles and laughs. They brought the best out of each other and Regina was able to be happy for once in her life. Her heart was not a solid piece of concrete in her chest anymore, and it raced whenever Chaste was around. She felt alive.

Their love started small as they were friends in the Enchanted Forest. Best friends even. Chaste was the most precious thing to her. Regina didn't have to hide how she felt around Chaste and she was comfortable around her, and she with her.

Chaste was known as a high-ranking knight from King George's army, but eventually became rogue because she did not agree with his customs or maybe it was because of a rumor that was started by a simple handmaiden that ruined the woman.

Honestly it was so long ago, Regina barely remembered. Anyways, she met Regina in one of her travels; walking along the dirt road only the Evil Queen traveled by. Her knights were given the order to arrest her and imprisoned her. Yet, they were having a bit of trouble because of the woman's stubborn attitude and strength that somehow exceeded her knights.

Regina exited the carriage with the intent to deal with the annoyance that prevented her from traveling to the near by town. The Queen's presence did not intimidate the other brunette and that only seemed to further anger the Queen. Obviously, they conversed, and the longer they conversed the more Regina's anger diminished. After their surprisingly long chat, Regina asked her name. The other brunette with striking hazel eyes smirked at her, as if she found hilarity in the current situation.

She spoke her name, short and sweet; Chaste. No last name, no middle name, just Chaste. Regina tested the name on her own lips, going it over slowly to memorize it.

"I told you my name, now what is yours?" Regina rose an eyebrow.

"You do not know?"

"I wouldn't be asking if I did." Chaste replied with sarcasm dripping from her melodic voice. Her eyes gazed right into Regina's. Never leaving hers to wander or search for something else. Just eyes on her, but not in fright. No, her eyes held a warm light to it.

"It's Qu—...no, just Regina." She spoke after some time. Her facade was melting slowly in front of the other woman and she allowed it. How she did, she didn't know, but Chaste's hazel eyes just had something that made her want to let go; to be herself.

Then, she remembered she was in front of her knights. She felt a pang of sadness at knowing that she was not allowed to let go. Never put down this shell that was The Evil Queen.

Regina was brought back to reality when Chaste quieted down and eventually silencing herself. The woman noticed that Regina was not listening and she felt frustrated that she wasted her energy trying to get her to hear her. Yet, all she heard was the yelling.

"Are you even listening to what I'm saying?" Chaste muttered, utterly defeated now. Her vision became blurry with tears as she clenched her fist. She didn't like yelling at Regina, but she felt as if she needed to say what she needed to say. She didn't like Regina's behavior at all. She wanted to first speak to her about her behavior, but all the brunette would do was avoid her questions. Then, Chaste resulted to yelling at her fiance. She was not being heard by speaking normally, so she tried something new.

Obviously, screaming at Regina was not getting her anywhere either. As soon as she started to yelled, Regina pulled out a bottle of really strong cider and started to down it, to ignore her. Chaste had no idea why Regina was ignoring her, but she wanted to find out.

Chaste had a few theories on why Regina was ignoring her. One was that Regina really didn't want to get married to her so she was pushing Chaste's buttons so they couldn't get married. Another one was that she was cheating. This theory hurt the woman very much. It hurt even more than the first one. It meant she wasn't good enough to satisfy her partner and her partner had to sneak around and see others to seek satisfaction while still coming home to a warm bed and dinner prepared by someone who loved her dearly. Someone who was blissfully unaware of her antics.

Chaste was not blissfully unaware, nor was she stupid enough to give into being naive. She wants to get to the bottom of things, right now.

What worried her more was that they were going to get married soon, god dammit! Chaste didn't need this. Another thing she had to worry about was that stupid green witch running about causing havoc everywhere. Not to mention, Henry does not remember her, which added insult to her already open wounds.

When Chaste was finished with her mental rant, she turned to stare at Regina with pleading eyes. Regina responded to her pleading look with dead eyes. She set the empty glass aside and stood up. She stared at Chaste more, not giving anything away, before turning the corner. Chaste stayed silent as she heard the front door close with a thud and she burst into tears.


The witch turned out to be Regina's older sister, which was a surprise to everyone. Regina and Zelena had a witch-off or magic-off or whatever you called it and Regina lost. She was thrown through the watch tower and Chaste's eyes widened in fear for Regina. She ran towards the watch tower, and sprinted up the stairs. The Charming's followed closely behind her.

She found Regina on the ground, trying to lift herself up. Chaste was by her side in seconds and gripped her gently to lift her up. She cooed comforting words in the brunette's ear; completely forgetting her recent fight with Regina.

"Are you alright?" Mary Margaret asked her. Her question was directed to both woman, which Chaste was aware of, but decided not to answer as she was not okay.

Regina looked at her snidely, "I'm still alive, aren't I?"

"Gold disappeared. We thought that meant she-" Charming was interrupted, "defeated me? Hardly." Regina bit resentfully.

"You've won?" Chaste bit her lip, no she didn't, but in a way she did.

"Don't act so surprised. As it turns out Zelena wanted my heart. It's a good thing I wasn't stupid enough to bring it with me." Chaste stared at Regina. She didn't know Regina took out her heart before battling it out with Zelena. Chaste looked a bit lost as to why Regina didn't tell her. Was it because of before? Chaste felt a pang of guilt and a tiny bit of rage. This was important, yet she decided to withhold this information.

"Any idea why she wants it?" David asked.

"Well, she got your courage and wants my heart. Those are ingredients." Regina stated in thought.

"For what? A curse?"

Chaste tuned out the rest of the conversation as it still bothered her that Regina didn't tell her about taking out her heart and hiding it. She also wondered where she hid it. Hiding it in her vault would be too obvious and hiding it in her house would be suicide. Where could it be? Chaste was planning on asking this when they got home because she needed answers.


Chaste sat down in the living room across from where Regina sat. Her eyebrows were furrowed in frustration as more thoughts came about. Regina was not telling her things and it bothered her. What did she need to hide? She didn't know, but she was going to get to the bottom of it.

"I'm glad you're safe..." Chaste started. Regina glanced up, her eyes boring into the other brunette. Chaste stared back, now having Regina's attention.

"Regina, why didn't you tell me you hid your heart?" Chaste asked as calmly as she could. She kept her breathing at a steady pace as she waited for an answer from her lover.

Regina did not reply for some time, which only proved to worry Chaste further. "What are you hiding, Regina? I'm your fiance, you should be able to tell me anything, yet you're not. It's bothering me. We barely talk anymore, I'm starting to think you don't want to be with me." Chaste forced out. Her eyes stung from her own words, but it was how she felt. She couldn't hide how she felt.

Regina froze, processing her words. "I do want to be with you. It's been my dream to finally marry you." Chaste frowned, "Then why are you keeping secrets from me?"

"I'm not...I'm not! This is private, I can't tell you." Chaste stood up angrily.

"And why can't you tell me?" Regina stood up as well.

"Because...I."

"Because what, Regina?" Chaste spat with venom. Regina bit her lip. She didn't want to continue this conversation and decided that she wasn't going to and left the room. She needed to clear her mind.

"You can't always walk away from this! Regina!" Chaste followed her to the door. Regina opened it and slammed the door behind her.

"Regina! Regina come back!"


Chaste remembered clearly the argument she had with Regina two weeks ago. In that time, Chaste busied herself with other things such as protecting Mary Margaret from Zelena as she gave birth. She failed obviously and the baby was taken. She was knocked out from the magic thrown at her. She quickly recovered and followed after Charming and joined up with Regina and Henry.

They were talking about taking Zelena out. Emma was the key to beat her since light magic can defeat dark magic, but Emma couldn't because she lost the ability to cast magic. Henry then came up with an idea that Regina could help in some way even though she had dark magic. Chaste smiled at Regina quickly casting away any doubt and hate. She needed to concentrate on important things. She was also concerned for Regina's safety. Last time Regina went up against Zelena, she was beaten. What was Henry's idea exactly?

Then, Robin Hood came from down the hall, interrupting Chaste's thoughts. He said some words of encouragement to Regina, which in turn made Chaste's insides churn for some strange reason. She never felt ill-will to Robin yet, but for some reason, she felt something off. She didn't know what, but she had a feeling she would find out soon.

Hook, Robin, and Charming were thrown to the ground by magic while Chaste stood her ground and thought of a strategic plan to defeat Zelena."Come for another beating, sis?" Zelena mocked Regina. Chaste stood guard in the back, thinking of a plan. She glared at Zelena and decided to wing it and charge with her sword. She hoped she would at least get close enough to Zelena without getting flung around the room like a rag doll, but luck was not on her side today...or any day.

"No. I came for some jewelry." She said, then reached out for Zelena's pendant. Quickly, Zelena magically pushes her sister away from herself. Then, glances over to the corner where Charming and Robin were at and Zelena noticed that David and Robin Hood have recovered. "To a present flying monkey Beautiful one, if you will." Diving, the monkey attacks them. David shoves Robin Hood out of the way and the creature claws at David's shoulder. In turn, he groaned in pain. Chaste was still trying to gather herself as everything around her spun. She felt the sudden need to vomit, but she held it in.

Robin hood took aim with his crossbow "Remember, these creatures are our friends."

"Don't worry, I'll use a gentle touch." David replied, slightly panting.

"Unfortunately, that's not an option for me." Using magic, Mr. Gold forcefully pushed both of them back once again.

Once more Zelena applied her attention to Regina. Lifting her up, Zelena started to strangle her sister. She grinned wickedly at her, quite pleased with her work. Chaste sat on the ground, hunched over trying to crawl over to her fiance along with her vision blurring in and out of unconsciousness. She wanted to get up and save Regina, but her body felt too heavy to move. She felt increasing anxiety for being so helpless. How was she supposed to protect her Queen if she couldn't take a simple hit of magic?

"Only light magic can harm me. And you're as dark as they come. It was your destiny to be this way. And it'll also be your undoing." Zelena declared cockily.

"Don't tell me what I can be." Regina spoke in a strained voice. Chaste's heart pounded against her chest. She feared for Regina's life. Then, in the corner of her eye, she saw Hook, Robin, and Charming sneak up behind Zelena. She stopped in her tracks and watched quietly.

"I tried to be good once, but it wasn't in the cards. This is who I am and it's who you are." Chaste saw Hook move carefully to the Southern bowl, taking Regina's heart. She felt a little relief at that, and promised herself to thank him later.

"You're wrong, sis." White magic appeared in Regina's hand and Chaste sat up in shock, arms shaking as she positioned herself correctly. When could she do that?

"What are you doing?"

Regina smiled, "Changing," With a sudden burst of strength, Regina forcefully pushed her sister back. The Dark One's Dagger fell to the ground.

Zelena glared back at Regina angrily, "How?"

"I make my own destiny." Chaste felt a sudden burst of warmth for Regina and she smiled for the first time in a while. 'That's the woman I fell in love with.'

Regina took Zelena's pendant thus removing her magic. Then Regina turned to the portal with the pendant in hand, and the pendant started to absorb the portal's energy. David was about to look after his son, as the flying monkey shrieked behind him. Ready to fight the creature, he nearly beheaded the monkey. Zelena's spell was dissolving from the flying monkey and regained his human form. The monkey happened to be Little John.

Chaste stood up, shaking a little and walked over to Regina. She heard the Charming's rejoice that their baby was still alive and safe. Chaste stood next to Regina protectively as the woman spoke to Zelena. Gold moved in to kill the red head, but Regina stopped him. She mention something about being a hero, and hero's don't kill. Chaste gaped at Regina in astonishment. Then, she smiled warmly and wrapped an arm around the brunette's waist and pecked her cheek. Regina glanced at Chaste and returned her smile.

Zelena was taken away from the scene and thrown in a cell at the sheriff station. Regina went to go have a talk with her, now that her older sister was not as lethal as she was before. Now locked in a cell, Regina believes Zelena could rehabilitate herself and become good in some way and Chaste believes she can too. Everything went back to normal for a short time.


After Zelena's defeat, Chaste became curious as to how Regina changed so quickly. She always knew she wanted to change for Henry and Chaste, but she never transitioned so quickly. It was always baby-steps with her. It made Chaste suspicious.

Chaste has also noticed a pattern. So far, this week, Regina is late coming home. Now this wouldn't bother her usually because Regina was late before because of her mayoral duties. Since she wasn't mayor anymore, Chaste saw no reason for her to be outside so late.

Regina never told her where she went and why she was gone so long. Though, she would always come back with a slightly disheveled appearance and smeared makeup. It was clumsy looking, but it looked like it was put together quickly. Now, this intrigued Chaste because she always knew Regina to take pride in her regal appearance. To show up at any place, even at her own home in such a sight was unheard of.

Chaste feared the worse as the idea of Regina cheating on her returned. It made her extremely sick, and as soon as she heard Regina close their bedroom door upstairs, she would run to the bathroom near the kitchen to vomit.

Chaste called Emma the next day to tell her about her concerns. "Emma, I'm serious, I think something is wrong with Regina." Chaste voiced. She held her phone tightly to her ear to hear Emma's reaction. Emma was always the voice of reason in things, and Chaste trusted the blonde greatly. During the curse, they became best friends and grew close. After the curse was broken, their relationship didn't change, instead, they became closer.

"What do you think is wrong with her?" Emma asked as she plopped down on the couch. The Charming's in the back ground grew quiet as they started to listen in on the conversation. Snow looked at David with a worried look, and he mirrored her look.

"Regina has been coming home very late. I mean- very late. She barely talks to me anymore, and whenever we have a conversation, we end up arguing. She won't tell me where she's going, nor will she answer her phone when I call her. I think somethings up." Chaste feels her heart pound painfully against her chest. She suddenly feels the need to rip it out of her chest and end her misery.

Emma was silent for while. She thought of things to say to Chaste to ease her mind, but she couldn't think of anything. Emma breathed out a shaky sigh.

"What do you think she's doing...?" Emma asked carefully. Emma then heard a choked sob on the other line of the phone and her heart stung at the sound of her friend crying.

"I-I don't know, Emma...I'm afraid..." She replied back, trembling. She felt warm tears stinging her eyes, she clutched the phone tighter, as if it were a lifeline.

"Look, I'm coming over." And she hung up. Chaste didn't let go of the phone. She removed it from her ear and held it tightly to her chest. Her breath was heavy and came out in gasps. She tried to hold the tears at bay, she really did, but soon enough they streamed down her cheeks and that's when she broke down.

In five minutes, she heard the doorbell ring. She moved off of the couch, not willing to wipe her face clean of tears and opened the door.

Emma gave her a remorseful look and stepped inside. She moved closer to Chaste to grasp her shoulder and move her away from the door and sat her down on the love seat in the living room. Chaste continued her sobbing and leaned into the blonde's chest. Emma tensed up, but relaxed and clasped her arms around the smaller woman.

"It's alright. Everything is going to be alright."


To Be Continued!

Author's Note:

This a new series that I have had on my mind for quite some time. Anyways, the time loops do not follow through with the original series. They happen to slowly go over through weeks to months. Not much to explain whats going on... If there are any questions, please ask away.

Also, thank you to my two beta reader! Great Job guys!

Bye!