Story title: Of Hogwarts and her Founders
Oneshot title: Of Hogs and Warts
Summary: A series of oneshots of the Founders' lives during and after the founding of Hogwarts.
Warning: I'd say possible swearing and alcohol in this one.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything associated with it. Last time I checked, J K Rowling did.
A/N: I have the honour of presenting to you a series of oneshots of the Founders' lives during and after the founding of Hogwarts. Enjoy, and don't forget to review!
Four people, two men and two women, sat around a campfire, the fire sparkling happily. Behind them, a magnificent castle – Hogwarts – could be seen from distance.
One of the women, the oldest one from the looks of it, put her goblet down on the ground. She had braided, strawberry blonde hair and azure, unfocused eyes. She hiccuped and stared at the castle for a long while, looking like she was contemplating something. "So," she finally said. "How are we going to call our little baby?" she made a show of exaggeratedly pointing in the castle's direction. She tripped and fell over into the dirt. The other woman giggled madly at her. The first woman didn't show any effort to get up; in fact, she looked perfectly comfortable as she was.
Around them, a few bottles of Firewhiskey and wine could be seen. Most of them were empty. A distinct smell of alcohol hung in the air.
Suddenly they all heard a strange noise. Four heads turned in the direction of one of the bushes behind them. Five seconds later, a wild boar rushed out into the makeshift camp. At first, the only thing the four people did was stare numbly at the animal. Then one of the men, a brown-ruby-haired man with honey-coloured eyes, jumped up suddenly and pointing a finger at the boar. "I say, buzz off and never come back here, you – you hog!" the man said in what was supposed to be a commanding tone but turned out to sound like a dramatic clown. The man then lunged for the wild boar, but tripped and fell face down in the mud.
The second woman, with dark hair and chocolate brown eyes, made a disgusted face at the boar. "Yuck! That hog has warts! It's disgusting! Ric, do something!" she shrieked at the man lying in the mud. Amidst all the commotion, the boar made a timely escape, turning around and going back the same way it came.
The second man regarded his company with something akin to amusement in his eyes. He didn't seem to care about the boar. The man had long, black hair and emerald green eyes. He seemed like the soberest amongst the company – which, granted, wasn't saying much. The man stared into the fire as if seeing something of a greater meaning, then giggled insanely, thus proving he was just as drunk as his friends. "Hogwarts," he gibbered into his empty goblet before breaking out in snickers again.
The dark-haired woman glanced at the man. "Is that your suggestion, Sally?" she asked, stirring the wine in her goblet with her index finger, then licking the alcohol off her hand.
'Sally' shrugged, almost losing balance and falling over like his two friends. He held up his goblet upside down and peered into it, as though waiting for more Firewhiskey to appear.
The blonde woman smiled. "I'm all for it. It's not like the rest of us has anything better to come up with. Rowena?"
Rowena twirled her dark hair around her other hand. "Sure, as long as I get the credit for the idea." 'Sally' attempted a bow from where he sat, but ended up falling backwards.
"I like it. Hogwarts it is," said the brown-haired man from where he lay in the mud. He lifted his half-filled goblet from where he abandoned it and said, "To Hogwarts."
"To Hogwarts," chorused the other three in unison. A sudden vibration was felt in the air, magically binding the name to its school.
And so became Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
The sun shone very brightly the next day. In fact, according to Salazar 'Sally' Slytherin, the sun shone far too brightly. Added to the massive headache Salazar felt as soon as he woke up, he could at least vaguely guess what happened last night. Salazar groaned, turned over so that he laid on his back and opened his eyes. This turned out to be a bad decision, considering the aforementioned sun. Salazar was temporarily blinded by the light. He closed his eyes again and tried to remember what exactly happened the night before. He recalled meeting with his co-Founders – Godric Gryffindor, Rowena Ravenclaw and Helga Hufflepuff – in order to celebrate the school finally being done. Firewhiskey was involved, and so was wine. After his fourth glass of alcohol, everything got blurry. But Salazar supposed it didn't matter, not really. One of the others would surely remember. Meanwhile, it was probably a good idea to see what could be done to cure his hangover.
An hour and a half later, Salazar was hangover-free, clean, dressed and sitting in the Great Hall (as they had taken to calling it, seeing as it was the largest hall they had), waiting for the others to come down. Salazar was always the first to wake up in the morning, soon followed by Helga who had to get up early to check up on her various plants. Then came Rowena with her reading enthusiasm. Lastly awoke Godric. If one would ask Godric Gryffindor about the right time to begin the day, he'd probably answer somewhere between ten and eleven in the morning.
At last, when they were all gathered in the Great Hall (some more hungover than others, due to not having a hangover potion to spare). Godric was the last to enter, holding a hand to his head. Rowena, sitting at the head table, was doing the same thing (though she'd later deny doing such an undignified thing). Helga and Salazar eyed the two with amusement while absentmindedly chewing on something or other.
"Finally you've decided to deign us with your presence, Godric Gryffindor," a voice boomed from somewhere over them as soon as Godric sat down.
All four of them jumped in their seats. They stared at each other. Then Godric stood up and put on a brave face. "Who are you and how did you get in here?" he said in a voice that was probably meant to sound threatening but sounded pathetic instead.
The voice chuckled. "I am your school, you dolt, the one you built here. I did not need to get here, I was already here."
The four Founders stared at each other once more before Rowena voiced the question they all wanted to ask. "But how come you are sentient? Last time I checked, you were just a building."
"You were the ones that put me to life, so to speak, when you christened me last night. But, of course, you were too drunk to remember that," the school snickered at them.
"Really?" Godric perked up. "What did we name you?"
The school hesitated, then spat out, "Hogwarts. You named me Hogwarts," it sounded slightly insulted.
Rowena's eyes widened in shock. "Do you have any idea why?"
Hogwarts did the mental equivalent of a shrug. "I was hoping you'd tell me."
Silence reigned in the Great Hall until Helga suddenly groaned and blushed red. "I remember now! We were celebrating the school's – sorry, Hogwarts' – completion when suddenly a boar appeared out of the blue. Rowena being Rowena pointed out that, I quote, 'that hog has warts', as she so eloquently put it," Helga couldn't help but tease the other woman. Never let it be said that Helga Hufflepuff lacked the sense of humour. "But I think it was Salazar who suggested we call the school Hogwarts," she added with a smirk.
Three sets of eyes turned suddenly to Salazar, the only person who yet to say anything. Salazar himself merely quirked an eyebrow in a typical Slytherin fashion and asked, "Can't we just change Hogwarts' name, problem solved?"
Rowena sighed exasperatedly. "No we can't, Salazar. It's not that easy. The thing with magical names is that they stick with you all life – or, in Hogwarts' case, for all existence. The only way we could change the school's name would be if we razed the whole building and built it anew. And we can't do that, you know we can't. We put too much work into this just to destroy it because of a ridiculous name – sorry, Hogwarts."
Hogwarts smiled sadly. "It is true, though. The name's ludicrous."
Godric was still staring at a wall in shock. "I can't believe we named our school after a pig."
"Boar," Rowena corrected.
"Same thing," Godric waved his hand dismissively.
Salazar resisted the urge to smack his forehead.
A/N: So what did you think? Good? Bad? Lousy? Please review, it's just one click away ;)
