Lol, okay I offer sincere apologies for this straight away. It all started about 2 minutes before I fell asleep last night with the random thought of 'I wonder what it'd be like if McKay was a mad scientist, like on James Bond', so, here ya go! This is in no way serious, I just felt like a bit of fun before I continue with my next story thats after my first two, so don't take it too seriously. I'll sketch up the next bit when I can, and have fun reading the first little bit. Expect some eh..'strange' appearances by Atlantis characters, heh.
"Read them and... weep." John smirked with assurance as he spread the coloured cards out in front of him. There was a reassuring gasp from the surrounding onlookers, only aiding in the strength of his cocky grin. Even his opponent, a large beast of a man, with more hair then a pack of wolves combined managed to show some form of surprise, despite the fact his eyebrows were barely recognisable from the rest of him. He gave a slight grunt, a large vocal effort for him, before shoving himself back from the table and striding off.
"That was... amazing.." The words breathed in his earlobe were predictable, but still enough to send a thrill of excitement through various parts of his body.
"Nothing I haven't done before doll." John drawled back, making sure to keep to his accent perfect. "There's just one thing ya gotta remember." He pushed back from the table himself, turning on the chair and staring up towards the space-bimbo in front of him. Or rather, her chest. He gave it the consideration it was rightly due, before finally trailing his gaze up to her face. She was still holding the perpetual look of curiosity plus fear that she might learn too much if she gave into it. As if lines were slowly ticking away in her mind, she suddenly blinked and murmured back. "And what's that then?"
"That all Beltans are colour blind." A dramatic pause, before the surrounding company erupted in laughter. It was always much easier to give the simple line then explain the subtle trickery of nuance and bluffing needed with any social game. Besides, he had promised one of the smarter Beltans not long ago that he'd happily continue to perpetuate the myth. It made it so much easier for them to take their punters for a ride.
"Oh..." The space-bimbo suddenly flung herself at John's chest, arms and hands limp as if they couldn't bare to battle against the air around them any longer. "You're just.. so, brave! The way you tackled that Beltan... I feel I should repay you."
She couldn't have been any more obvious if she'd yanked his pants down at that very moment, but as he reminded himself, he hadn't come to the Pegasus Galaxy, or even the Atlantis Space-Port for complicated women. He liked them how he liked his technology. Simple, and ready to do what he wanted at a moment's thought. Regardless of that though, he maintained the farce. Slipping an arm around her slim shoulders, he led her away from the group, his drawl reappearing once more. "And how, my dear, were you thinking of doing that?"
"Well..." Her breath trembled along with her lips, perfectly poised in their rhythm. "I do have a very nice bottle of Darkan whisky in my room, only for the best gamblers... and well you-"
"Are the best." John's grin widened and he winked at her, calling forth a satisfactory titter from her. It was almost too easy sometimes, he reflected, as she led him with obvious anticipation towards the nearest transporter. Certainly things were a lot easier here then they ever had been in the old galaxy. He'd been lucky enough to escape with a lot of the Stargate expeditions just before the galaxy's rule by that mad scientist had fully taken hold. He was only thankful that she was too busy with the skirmishes and her sidekick to focus on anyone else yet. He suddenly realised that his mind had wandered off, and he was stood in front of the girl's room, she herself watching him with curiosity. His features suddenly broke into a grin, and he patted her cheek. "Don't worry doll, was just thinking of all the fun we could have with that whiskey." Another titter-inducing wink, before he strode into the room with her.
It was certainly one of the wealthier rooms placed on the Atlantean Port, on one of the higher levels that overlooked the sea of the world. Space-bimbo's never earned that much money, most of their payment was spent on expensive trinkets, and often they just received gifts, just like that tantalising whiskey that was already making his mouth water; no it was their 'owners' that paid for all of this. Thankfully most of them weren't jealous types, as long as their girls were looked after, and they didn't try and do anything silly like giving them funny ideas about freedom and independance. Aware that he was yet again slipping into the bad habit of staring off into space, John turned to grin to the girl. In the past few moments she'd already poured them both a glass of whiskey each, and was now watching him expectantly.
"Sorry doll, ya been playing on my mind again." Striding forward and ignoring his obvious lie, he took hold of the glass and gave it a thoughtful sniff. What she thought was mere savouring was actually a very real test of the glass's contents. Too many times people had stupidly tried to drug him. After all, he was becoming quite reknowned around the Pegasus Galaxy. But she didn't seem like the mastermind type, so he took a light sip. There was no grimace, even as it burned its way down his throat. No, he'd tasted worse. But she nearly spluttered when she took a sip. He smirked just a touch as she tried her best to hide the fact she'd nearly just choked, instead cooly watching him. For a moment he wondered if perhaps he'd underestimated her; but there was little time to worry about escape routes as she moved closer to him.
"You know.." She purred up to him, fingers gently trailing against his jawline. "You never actually told me your name..."
Damn, he hadn't had he? It was usually his opening line. Well, better now then never. Downing the rest of the whiskey, he deftly encircled her in his grasp, feeling a rush of pleasure as he noted the way her pulse jumped. "The name's Sheppard. John Sheppard."
"What.. like... someone who leads sheep?"
The question jerked him from his programmed repertoire, and he frowned just a touch. So, she was an Earth girl. It was hard to tell these days, who knew how many galaxy's had been seeded with the human form. But it didn't sway him for long. Tightening his grip he suddenly swung her round and down, causing another jump in her pulse. He smirked playfully down to her, his eyes locking with hers. "Actually..." He drawled then, leaving just enough pause to allow her anticipation to build fully. "I prefer to lead women..." Then he bent and kissed her fully, his arms enveloping her in a tight embrace. She moaned and melted just as he knew she would, allowing him to carry her fully with no break in the embrace. It always felt good when things went to plan.
John whistled as he strode through the Atlantis Port, his previous leather garments now replaced with casual cotton. He figured that the bimbo wouldn't awaken for at least a few hours yet, enough time for him to visit an old friend, get some things sorted, and head off for the next adventure. It was never good to stay in one place, and even space-bimbos could get a little too attached. Especially when he knew just how good he was. As he progressed further down into the Port the traffic dissipated, replaced by increasingly grubbier and more solitary figures. Each with their own 'no admittance' circle around them. It was sometimes refreshing to not have to be all smiles. Smiling around this area could lead to any number of things from making some new 'friends' for life, or shortening your life itself. A light flickered above him and he smirked softly. Just how he'd left it a few months ago. Glancing around to ensure that no-one was watching, he slipped behind a bulkhead and tapped a light code upon the wall. There was no reply for a few moments, before a miniature hologram appeared in front of him.
"Vot?"
"Z!" John beamed at the tiny hologram, sending him a jaunty salute. "Come on buddy, let me in, I could do with a bit of your magic."
The hologram snorted, muttered something in Czech, before flickering out of sight. Another few moments passed, filled with more muttering and the sound of scraping metal, before a hatch in front of him slid open. Another quick glance around was sent, before John jumped in. It wasn't wise to keep Z waiting once he gave you admittance, his devices often had timers of their own devising. The hatch closed once more, and he felt the familiar prickling sensation as the transporter did its magic. When he finally reached his destination, he strode out, sending the real Z a jaunty salute once more.
"Z! Buddy!"
"Do not dare call me zis Buddy!" Z snarled back at him, pushing up the large round glasses that adorned his nose. His face was as ever covered in dark, greasy substances of unknown origin, his hand holding an unknown implement; one that often changed its identity randomly. "Three, THREE months! I have vaited for your return! And, do you, ze great Sheppard bring me back any of my devices intact?" Sheppard opened his mouth to respond but Z waved a random implement towards him. "I shall tell you! NO! Ze stunner-"
"It eh.. fell into a lake..."
"Ze holographic watch-"
"Oh come on! How was I to know that kids love those things? She wouldn't even give me a second look unless I shut him up..."
Z ignored him, carrying on regardless. "Ze replicator, ze copier... all of zese things, ruined! Missing! Given avay to cute children!"
Sheppard merely raised an eyebrow as Z continued to rant, this time in Czech, and moved to inspect some of the latest inventions. He was only stopped when a metallic instrument thudded directly next to his hand, and Z appeared beside him.
"Do you remember vy I came to zis galaxy Sheppard?"
"You tell me enough times." Sheppard remarked with a wide grin, arms folding. But feeling the ever-present threat of time, he raised his hands. "And, do you also remember who helped you come to this galaxy? If it wasn't for me, you'd be stuck underneath that mountain, trying to make the best cup of java for that mad woman. Am I right?"
Z paused, hesitant to give up on a rant halfway through, but reluctantly he did. "Fine, you are right about zat. However, you still have much to make up to me."
"And I will! I promise, eh, just as long as I test out some of your new designs eh?"
Z shot him a glare, shaking his head. "No! Not zis time, zis time... you vill do something for me."
"I'm always doing something for you Z! I put my life on the line testing out some of your inventions."
Not believing a word of his pleas, Z shot Sheppard a look, before gesturing to a nearby console. "Come, sit. Zere is a message I zink you vill find most intrigiuing."
Sheppard eyed the console and then sighed to him. "For the last time Z, I'm not joining the Rebel Forces. There's nothing to damn well rebel against! They've all got these inane ideas about returning to Earth, I mean the whole galaxy's controlled by a madwoman!"
"I always thought women vere your speciality?" Z smirked back to him with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeh, well... you know her and that sidekick of hers are like that." As he crossed his fingers, he rolled his eyes. "Besides, I've got a rule against going after crazy woman. Crazy, I don't do. Uh, apart from you Z o'course." Smirking to his old friend then, he sat down beside him. "But seriously, I'm not in for that kind of thing. Lone ranger and all that stuff."
"Yes, vell normally I vould see your point, but zis is something of a different matter, you see... it is possible that soon, if zis threat is not taken care of, that ze Pegasus galaxy vill have a mad ruler of its own."
John blinked at that, eyes widening. "Crap, don't tell me she's heading over here?"
"Vot? Oh, no, no." Z shook his head at that. "Zere is still much turmoil in our old galaxy. Ze Goa'uld still raise many skirmishes against her, and of course zere is ze Asguard and so forth. Although I have heard recent reports that ze High Commander of ze Asguard races has fallen under ze influence of her."
"Good God." Sheppard shuddered at that thought. "I thought those guys didn't even have any emotions? I mean, she can't seriously have seduced him can she?"
"Zere is a possibility that she offered him something he simply could not resist certainly. She can be... very persuasive."
John's gaze flickered to Z then and he sighed, patting his arm. "I'm sorry, I forgot what she did to your best friend. But at least he came to his senses before he died right?"
"Yes." Z murmured, eyes clouding. "Just in time to stop ze building of ze weapon by blowing himself and it up together. He saved many lives that day... I sometimes feel ashamed that I ran as I did."
John shook his head to that, patting his arm once more. "Stop beating yourself up Z, now, what's this great thing you think is gonna persuade me to give up my roaming life and actually help out the rebels?"
"As I said, ze threat is growing here. There too is a mad scientist here, rising in the ranks. One who came from our own galaxy. He has laid low for many years, but now is ze time for him to begin his ascent, and his takeover of ze galaxy. He holds many ideals as that of she who took over our own, yet I hear that he is not quite as smart."
"Glad to hear it." John murmured, leaning back in his chair and listening to Z with interest.
"However, ze threat is of course still great. We, that is, ze rebels and myself, vould like you to do your best to curb zis threat, before he can fully establish himself as a true leader."
"Okay then, who's the screwball?"
"He goes by ze name of McKay, Rodney McKay."
