I don't own anything of the huger games, all belongs to Suzanne Collins.
Finding hope.
Chapter 1
Flashback;
The capital lays before me, burnt, smoking and laying in rubble. I'm sitting looking out the widow, the living room is surprisingly untouched, as is the rest of the tribute apartment. This is where they stuck me, after I made the decision to kill coin, she was becoming to dangerous. Just like Snow she wanted the games, the games that we thought so hard for to be rid of, she wanted them to show her power. Yeah she planned to use the capital children, but eventually she would have done the same, forced the other district to compete so she could keep up her control and power. That and she tried to kill Prim, no one tries that and survives.
Prim survive the bombing with slightly, major burns to small parts of her body. Peeta received the worst, he saved her, wrapped his body around her when I couldn't get to her, I always be thankful that he did that, but even so my mind is made up and now I just have to tell him.
The day wares on, and with every passing second I'm growing more and more nervous, but I now I have to do it, it's to painful and everything there reminds me of the dangers and horrors I went through. Suddenly I'm brought out of my thoughts by the sound of the elevator dinging open, and out steps Haymitch, Peeta close behind looking better than last time I saw him when he was covered in medic skin to help heal the burns. Neither of us speak, Haymitch leads him to the couch and sits him down.
"I'll leave you too alone." Haymitch says before leaving, going to a room furthest away, so we have privacy. He sifts uneasily on the couch, I already know the burns will be giving him problems, they did for me.
"Peeta I'm not coming back." I blurt out, because if I don't I won't say it. "there's too much back there, everything reminds me of what I've done, the people h because of my actions are dead. There's too many painful memory's." I know the next part will be the hardest. "There's nothing you can do or say that'll change my mind, because- because a lot of the memory's involve you, the things we were forced to do. I need a fresh start away from everything that reminds me of the games." I take a glance at him, to see tears have slowly made their way down his cheeks.
"Katniss-"
"No Peeta, I'm not changing my mind, I'm not telling you where I'm going and I don't want you to try to find me. That's the end of it, I'm leaving everything behind, apart from my family." I tell him forcefully, the next few minutes are spent with me looking out the widow, anywhere but at Peeta. Finally I heat him.
"OK." That's all he says, that gets my rage boiling and I want to turn and tell him to fight for us, but at the same time I don't. I'm not how long I stand there for, sorting through my feelings and thoughts but when I do finally turn I'm met with Haymitch not Peeta.
"Ahh, finally back from the dream land." he smirks at me, I look around for Peeta, Haymitch notices. "The boy left, well I took him out and back to the hospital. You really did a number on him with this one girl." Haymitch sighs. " But, I know, or at least can understand where your coming from, but you could have done it smother with the kid, considering."
Yeah, I know Haymitch is speaking the truth, I could have handled it better. I still haven't spoken and Haymitch seems to understand that, and that there's no changing my mind. Haymitch rises, comes over to me and kisses my cheek. Then comes something I never suspected.
"You've broke the boy and it's my job to try to put him back together, so listen, you've made your choice and while I understand it, I don't have to like it. The boy's been through too much, so if you start playing around and flashing it in front of him, I'll end you." that last parts makes my eye's go wide, understanding Haymitch just threatened to destroy me, and he knows that it doesn't involve killing me. "I love you Katniss, like a daughter, but you've got family to keep you together, friends, Peeta doesn't, he lost it all and he was counting on you, but I'll be there with him. The court decided that your free, they understand why coin had to go, found evidence that showed her plans for the future. Basically, she was going to pull a Snow." He backs away heading over to the elevator. "we'll be heading back to twelve in a couple of days." he leaves it at that. I know that he's giving me a chance to change my mind.
Next thing I know is that I'm there at the train station waiting in the shadows. I see them both, heading towards the train, Peeta he looks so sad so fragile, that all I want to do is run to him, to stay with him forever to keep the hurt away but something keeps my feet planted in the dark corner of the station. Haymitch helps Peeta onto the train, before looking behind and over the crowd of the station, I knows he's looking for me. When he doesn't see me, I cant tell he sighs before getting on the train. Like the cruel twist of fate, my feet become unstuck at that point and I find myself running forward, screaming Peeta's name, too late the train is already gone and with it my love. This was the worst day of my life.
End of flashback.
I awaken to screams, my own screams filling the room. That day was over 6 years ago and I still haven't got over it. Prim is by my side in a moment, taking the role of quieting me down, just like I did before the games. But it's not her arms I long for, nor her voice, I want the arms, the voice, the feeling of my boy with the bread, who made me feel safe, who kept the monsters away, who loved me unconditionally. The boy who I broke.
It takes a while for me to calm, and even longer so that prim will head back to her own bed, when she does I just stay there staring into the abyss, slowly I watch the sun rises one of the three times of the day I now hate, because they remind me of Peeta. Getting up I head into the kitchen and set the kettle on, mum will be home from the night shift at the hospital soon.
We live in four now, president Paylor made sure that we wouldn't be bothered by the media after we all left the capital, me, mum, Prim, Gale, Johanna, there a couple, Finnick and Annie. We all live in victor's village, all the victor's keeping to them selves, only prim and my mum really leave the village, mum to work at the hospital and Prim to go to the programme that will eventually let her become a doctor.
Just as the kettle pops, mum walks in.
"Morning Katniss, your up early, more nightmares"
"Yeah" I answer simple, she came back to us after the war, she's there for me now but there still take unease between us, slowly though, as I hug her I know we'll get over it.
"Do you want to talk about it."
"You already know what it's about."
"Peeta." she sighs. It's a conversation I've had with them all, and the same answer has come from everyone even Gale, call him. I haven't done that, I haven't even seen or heard anything from Haymitch or Peeta, that's been really hard to deal with, but my stubbornness won't allow me to do anything about it. " Katniss, I'm going to be blunt now, you've been mopping around for six years, and you've not moved on. Everyone can see that you love Peeta, only you are trying to convince yourself you're not. Why do you think Gale stopped trying to get with you. No one has any chance because your heart is in 12 with him. So I'm telling you now today, at some point you'll phone the capital and get his number, and you will phone him and make a date to see him. Understood!" her voice rising in the end that it makes me shrink, I haven't been told off like this since before dad died. It makes me relies just how much my mum has returned. The only thing I can do is nod like a kid.
The day pass by quickly, Prim already headed off to school while the others come round, my mum is asleep upstairs. It's while where all sitting around having lunch, that I tell them of my plan.
"I'm planning to call Paylor today." all their heads snap towards me.
"why?" Annie asks while holding her son, Dillon.
"I'm going to get Peeta's or Haymitch's phone number." I tell them, avoiding their eye's. Finally someone speaks, but it's the last person I expected it to be.
"Good it's about time, you've spent way too long mopping around when you should be with him." Gale speaks, from over Johanna's shoulder, she's sitting in his lap.
"What?" I ask totally shocked by his comment.
"Katniss, I've known for a long time your hearts been with breadboy in 12, it's just taken you forever to catch up with your feelings." he tells me and continues " Now instead of sitting here telling us your going to do it, go and actually do it. Now!" he tells me forcefully, he is a great friend.
With hope now, I go to the phone and call the capital. I only have to wait three rings before a chirpy voice answers.
"Hello, office of president Paylor, how my I help you."
"yeah, this is Katniss Everdeen I was wondering if president Paylor was available to speak?"
"I'm sorry Miss Everdeen, but I'm afraid the president isn't available until next week at some point, her schedule is over booked. Is there anything I could possible help you with?"
"Yes, can you give me the number for Peeta Mellark in district 12."
" I can try, please one moment." I can hear her typing away.
"err, Miss Everdeen, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this but our records show that Mr Mellark died 4 years ago."
The phone drops out my hand and my world goes back as I fall, not hearing the shout of the others.
End of chapter.
