Spoilers: end of SS arc
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He hated this world. He hadn't stepped foot there for decades, since Hisana's death. Already in this period, he had trouble coping with his constant agitation, the incessant coming and goings, the non-stop noise, with the air that was too smoky for his lungs that were used to the tender perfume of the blooming sakura trees.
Fifty years later, even if he couldn't say that nothing had changed, he always had the same feeling of being choked, suffocated, of being trapped. But, without doubt, the city that he found himself in wasn't the only one responsible for this.
The war wasn't even close to ending. The last attacks had almost swept Soul Society away, and their victories were in the name of justice due to the force of rage and determination. Hope had disappeared from lips, from minds and from hearts. It was impossible to predict what would happen the next day, and each person took their few chances to savor and appreciate the smile of an innocent child, the frank laugh of a friend, the tender kiss of a lover.
Each individual waited to lose those who were precious to them, and told them "goodbye" at every last look, wishing to welcome them back each time they returned… If they were even there to receive that person.
The last few attacks had diminished the populations of Rukongai. Those who had no family now had no house as well. Renji had seen that what he wanted was indifferent than the wild boys who ran out of control on the roads, grabbing what they could, eating on top of the tombs of the dead, buried under the ruins of what had once been a refuge.
But even the toughest warrior couldn't ignore the image of a child that had once been him. This child that couldn't make friends but could follow, and couldn't stop himself from crying for his lost companions.
So before the moment arrived where one could no longer say "It's too late," he wanted to put aside all of his hesitations and his eventual regrets.
He had found Byakuya one day during one of his usual nightly promenades. And without any doubts, he had told him everything: his hate, his respect, his admiration and his love.
And… He had been rejected. Rejected without a word. A simple action. Byakuya had merely turned his back and left.
It was impossible to breathe inside the 6th division. The tension and fatigue that were brought on by the incessant fights didn't change anything about Renji's attitude.
Byakuya knew who Renji was. And yet, the man that was facing him, the lowered stare, the hands behind the back, like a child who had been reprimanded… This was not the one that he'd chosen to be second in command.
Their reports hadn't had time to improve or be degraded. With the Arrancar's increasing activity in the human world, Soul Society was forced to send several of their highest-level members.
Renji and Byakuya had suddenly seen their personal space crumble, and their common forced life had lasted already a week.
And Byakuya had never felt so uncomfortable in his life.
He had tried this morning to escape from Renji's presence, the oppressing crowd and the omnipresent noise. He had wandered along the roads that were still calm, surrounded by the appeasing fog of dawn.
And due to him being lost in his thoughts, he was lost. He had suddenly stopped when an immense building had been placed in front of him. Its walls were still enveloped with the night, and he had paused to sit for a moment on its vast stone steps.
During the short instant where the birds stopped singing to look at the rising sun, a voice made him turn his head. He stood up slowly and headed towards the heavy wood doors and he opened them gently. The melody that started was one that suited him distinctly.
He didn't bother trying to see who was singing and leaned against the wall, his eyes raised to the sky of pure ice that was warming slowly. The voice was soft, its timber warm and rounded, caressing him like a mother who rocked her baby. He didn't know the melody that she sang, but the serenity of the music had come to plant itself directly inside of his heart and soul.
A few notes flew into the high octaves, and he felt a shiver run up his body. During the silence that followed, a single drop of rain from his heart fell from the cloud of his feelings and leaked slowly down his cheek, where it dried under the first rays of light.
The voice stopped and Byakuya let out a soft sigh. Removing himself almost with pain from his spot, he left without a single look behind him. He had found for an instant the spiritual energy that he was looking for and continued on with his route with a sure foot.
At his return, he found Renji sleeping and smiled gently. He hesitated once again, and finally, after days of desperate struggle, flood of his soul paused, captured by the calm current that had languorously bathed him earlier.
He slid under the sheets, warm with Renji's presence, and with a tranquility that he hadn't known since he had been a young man, he placed his cheek gently against the solid shoulder and drifted off into sleep.
At the sensation of a presence that was familiar and a stranger at the same time, Renji opened his eyes gently, still slightly closed with sleep, and closed them completely right away.
If this was a dream, he preferred to not wake up.
