Downward Spiral

Author's Notes: I know most of you are probably thinking or saying, I thought Chibi quit writing! I did indeed quit writing because I wanted to sort out some things in my life but now that I've made decent progress concerning certain aspects of my life, I feel as though it's perfectly all right if I come back to the writing world. This latest piece that I've concocted is a poem that focuses sorely on the behavior of Karai in season four after she assumes the position of Shredder. I do have plans of making a follow up to this poem though but for now, I must warn you… My writing skills are a bit rusty so please do forgive any errors or discrepancies you might encounter. Enjoy!

Darkness…

It is something that I am quite familiar with.

Its gnarled and crushed hands have always had an iron grip on me.

Choking, squeezing and suffocating the light out of me until I became nothing more than a tainted weapon…

Something to be used only when there was no other way to win…

A tool used for bloodshed or rather an instrument of destruction is what I am…

For as long as I could remember, that overwhelmingly powerful presence has always lied dormant within me…

And I tried so desperately, so valiantly, to lock it away within the deepest and furthest recesses of my heart…

Try as I might to rid myself of the darkness though, it was always with me every step of the way.

Haunting and taunting me no matter where I went or what I did…

During the night when I could not sleep, it was always there…

Gently embracing me within its heavy and thick cocoon of despair…

And when I found myself unable to train or meditate, its presence would be made known in hopes that I would finally acknowledge what I refused to believe…

When I could not control myself during battle or restrain the anguish… the feelings of anger, guilt and hatred…

When I knew I should have retreated but chose to fight on…

And now I fear, it threatens to take away the very essence of my humanity…

Am I not stronger than this?

Was I not raised within the shadows?

Yet I cower and quiver in fear when the light disappears…

For when it disappears, that is when I am most vulnerable…

It is when the bloodlust within me rises and takes control…

And I can feel the last vestiges of my heart, screaming and crying for redemption…

Begging and pleading for some sort of release from this pain…

But who can help me?

Who would be willing to help such an utterly pathetic wretch such as myself?

And as the silence greets my ears, I know that the answer is simple.

For no one, be it man, woman or child would willingly try to help me defeat this…

I do not have the strength left to fight these demons…

The very obstacles and challenges I fought so hard to avoid…

The small difference that separated me from the both of them is gone…

For now I fear the darkness has grown too strong…

It controls my every action, thought, or gesture…

Yes, I have allowed myself to become a corrupted, damned and tormented soul…

Despite how much it hurts…

No matter how much it will kill me inside…

I will have what I so very much long for…

Revenge…