Disclaimer: I do not Own Ouran High school

I recommend you to read this story while listening to First Love so that'll make you understand how she felt, about her past..

and also its a very sad soo please..review on how it its..

dedicated to my reviewer Hikaru Hiitachin ty for all your reviews and don't worry here it is . LoL

Rated M for further chapters,, soo don't worry,, and I rated this T because its not M yet,, you know what I mean XD anyway I'll try to update this as soon as I can,, but unfortunately I have school X.X

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She was 15 then, the time she came to Ouran, the time she met her first love, the time she got into this..this mess, she's 28 now, the time, everything for her changed, the time she has to really work hard for their future, the time she has to continue his mother's footsteps.

"Okaasan!!" He was the one that made her life changed. "Shh..I'm talking to Otoosan.." She now lived her life in secrecy, in secrecy about her child, the child of whom she conceived at that time.

"Haruhi, don't leave!! please I need you, I didn't mean to do that to you." His voice rang at her like a bell church, but then it was already past 13 years that she hadn't made contact with him, or anyone except his family. Those nightmares about him, the only one he loved, just keep, keep,, tearing her apart.

Flashback

"Surprise!!" The Host Club cheered at her as she walked to the school's 3rd music room. "Haru-chan, we'll miss you, always send us letters, right Takashi."

"Ah, Haruhi come and visit us sometime." He smiled full heartedly at her.

"You're debt free Haruhi.." Kyouya smiled at her.

"My precious daughter is growing up, Haruhi don't forget us." He caught her up in a bear-hug.

"Haruhi, we'll miss you." Kaoru hugged her and patted her back.

But what hurts the most is that, Hikaru, didn't say something before she leave.

End of Flashback

This all winded on her memories,dreams and sometimes even her imaginations. She was touched at their surprise to her, she couldn't believe that she's this special to them, like their a big whole family. But that what she believed then, the moment that she was or runned away from them was when the time she was about to be send to her flight. She saw them, her Hikaru kissing another girl, right before the airplane was boarding. This tore her apart, her future plan to him, to them. She knew that Hikaru knew that she's pregnant, but to her dismay, he thought she was truly joking and laughed off as she shattered into little bits, and being burned into a deadly flame. She felt that she was just a toy to him, merely a toy to play with and after being used so much, needs to be thrown away, a simple trash. Only the memory of her son, which she cared and promised to cherished till the end, makes her even hurt more. She was very considerable to her only life, her son, her amber haired, browned-eyed, son, that sometimes asked that 'how come my friends have their own dad and how come I don't have one' He sometimes see her mom cry as he mentioned the very same question to her, but now he knew how painful it could be for her, the only one who gave him the best as he could have.

"Haruhi, are you crying again." Her dad, who didn't knew that he has grandson, never knew the whole Truth of her staying abroad. "..Gome Otoosan, I was just listening to sad songs again.." She who kept everything and also she who didn't knew the whole truth about everything that happened to them, remained living in her own domain, her sanctuary, as she thought.

"Haruhi, I gotta go, I'm almost late.." She heard the click that separated her and his father. "Okaasaan..what's wrong?" She didn't believe how much her son grew, even though she can't even provide him what he asks every time, grew patient and forgave her. "..nothing? are you hungry Hiru?.." He wiped his mothers face. "..no mom, I'm just a little bit worried at your health, you haven't ate a lot lately, and you kept crying almost everyday, mom tell me what really happened, about you and dad.." She felt that she was stabbed as she heard the name 'dad' came out from his sons mouth. "..you don't have a dad.." He knew she was lying, she didn't knew that he really have his own senses now, that he isn't a child anymore. "Mom, everyone has a father...and I'm longing for one all this years.." She thought to herself that its time for her son to know the truth... and also his dad. "..You see Hiru, you're dad cheated on me when I was about to go to this place, I saw him with my own eyes, cheating on me.." She tried to held her tears, as the bitter memories of that played on her mind. "..and He knew that I was pregnant, and it was you that I'm carrying, and I haven't got in contact with him...because..because.." He saw her mom emerged tears from her eyes. "...I promised myself..I promised..that I won't forgive him for abandoning us!!" She burst in tears. "..mom, I just wanted to see dad just once, I just want to feel how pleasant it is to have a dad, please...just once.." He caressed her brown silk-like hair. "..I..m..not coming with you, you can go yourself..." She murmured. "...thanks mom...I'll do my best.."