Author's Note: My second attempt at writing a Stargate SG-1 fic. This is a bit AU during Shades of Grey.
Disclaimer: Don't own it.
Sam took a deep breath and raised her hand to knock on the door. She bit her lip and lowered her hand. She took a deep breath and raised it again. Just as it was about to hit the door, it swung open, revealing an irritated Jack O'Neill.
"Oh, Carter," he said. He took a sip of his beer and stood aside to let her through. "It's you."
Sam shrugged her shoulders. "It's me." She stepped into the house and stood awkwardly in his hallway. She tugged on the sleeves of her sweater and looked at Jack. He just took another sip of his beer.
"Do you have another one of those?" she asked.
"I do," Jack said. He disappeared into the kitchen and came out a few moments later, holding a beer out to her. Sam took it, careful to keep her fingers from brushing against his. He raised an eyebrow at her but said nothing.
"So, Carter. Why are you here?"
"Just came to see a friend, sir," she said.
"I'm retired, Carter. Cut it with the 'sir' crap."
Sam blinked at him. "Uh, alright… Jack."
There was a slight smile on his face as she said his name. But as soon as it appeared there, it was gone. In its place was an unusually hard look—even for him.
"Why don't you tell me why you're really here?" Jack said as he sat down on the sofa. Sam sat across from him in an armchair.
"I just…" Sam bit her bottom lip and chewed on it. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay," she said.
Jack picked at the label on his beer bottle. "And?"
"And… I wanted to see if you wanted to… talk."
He looked at her. "Talk?"
"Talk," she confirmed.
"Well, Carter—"
"I think it's only fair that you call me Sam if I call you Jack," Sam interrupted.
"Alright, fine." He put his beer down and leaned back against the couch, folding his arm behind his head and linking his fingers together. "You know I'm not really the touchy-feely type."
"Right." Sam ran her fingers through her hair. She sighed quietly to herself. This was a lot harder than she thought it was. She slapped her hands down on her thighs. It didn't startle Jack—he just looked at her.
"Why are you doing this?" Sam asked finally.
"What do you mean?"
"Why… why are you… well, for want of a better word, why are you acting out?"
"I'm not acting out."
"You're angry about something.
"And how would you know that?"
"I just do."
Truth be told, she liked to think that she just knew him that well. One would think that after secretly pining for someone after three years, one would know that person.
Oh, sure. It had started out as simple attraction, but it had grown too much, much more. It had gotten to the point where she couldn't even deny it—all she could do was push it into the back of her mind.
"Why?" she repeated.
Jack gave an exasperated sigh and rolled his eyes. "Why what?"
"Why did you do it?"
"Because, Carter. I'm tired of waiting to get advanced alien technology. I don't know if you've noticed, but we're getting our collective asses kicked by the Goa'uld."
Sam immediately noticed that he did not use her first name as she had requested. She chose to ignore it, chalking it up to old habits.
"I thought we were doing pretty well," Sam said.
Jack used his hands to mime a box. "Big picture, Carter." Sam shook her head. "We just keep getting lucky. Soon enough, our luck is going to run out—like it or not," he added.
"We just get lucky?" Sam demanded, her voice growing louder. "What about everything," she paused, "we've figured out?"
"You mean you've figured out."
Sam nodded her head.
Jack shrugged his shoulders. "Luck."
The look on Sam's face was one of pure devastation. She could handle his cold demeanor, but the way he had just insulted her… she didn't know how much longer she could sit here and stand this.
"Look, if these advanced races aren't going to give us some technology, I say we should just take."
"Do you really believe that?" Sam said. She cursed under her breath as she heard her voice shake. She put her beer on the table, refusing to look at him. He had surely heard the shake in her voice—she wasn't going to let him see the look of hurt in her eyes.
"Yeah, I really do believe that." Jack tilted his head back absentmindedly and stared at the ceiling.
"Then I guess I haven't really known you," Sam whispered.
"Oh, I think you would have figured it out by now," Jack said. He raised his head to look at her, his brown eyes hard and cold. "We don't really have much in common, Carter."
Sam blinked at him. "So," she said slowly. She couldn't believe this. She could figure out the Stargate, but she couldn't figure out people, let alone Jack O'Neill. "What you're saying is that these past three years… this friendship that I've thought that we've built… it's meant nothing?"
Jack smiled at her. "Yup."
Surprisingly enough, Sam felt tears burn in her eyes. Sure, he could say that. But for him to say it in such a nonchalant manner? It hurt, and it hurt more than she had expected it to.
"You're not exactly acting like yourself," she finally said.
"Carter, I haven't acted like myself since I've met you."
They started at each other for several long moments. Finally, Jack reached for Sam's unfinished beer. He took a sip of it and stood up.
"Carter, I think you should leave," Jack said.
Sam stood up without a word. She felt, rather than saw, Jack follow her to the door. As she opened it, she kept her palm pressed against the door and turned around to face him.
"You know," she began. "I thought I knew you. I had really believed that we had grown somewhat close over the years. But things have changed since you've got back from Edora."
"What does Edora have to do with it?" Jack asked, a note of interest in his voice.
Sam looked away from him. She couldn't believe she was about to say this.
"Do you know what I was doing when you were having your nice little vacation on Edora?" When he didn't answer, she continued. "I was staying up day and night, barely eating, just to get your sorry ass home. Janet had to drag me to the infirmary and make me sleep, I had gotten so exhausted. And I had done that all. For. You!"
She punctuated her last three words with a poke against his chest. He looked down at her with an eyebrow raised and didn't say anything.
Sam made a scoffing noise. "Yeah, that's what I thought." Just as she was about to shut the door, she turned around to face him once more. "Oh, and Jack?"
He looked up at her. "Yeah?"
"Screw you."
"Wow. Uh… so, just so we're clear… you were pretending the entire time?"
Jack grinned at Daniel and rocked back on his feet. "Yup."
"And you didn't mean a thing of it?"
"Nope."
"Well…" Daniel exchanged a look with Teal'c and Sam. "That's good to know."
Jack looked at Sam, but she didn't say anything. She simply spared him a glance as she brushed past him. Jack stared after her, his face falling.
"What the hell did you say to her, Jack?" Daniel said.
Jack shook his head. "Too much."
He jumped off the ramp and followed Sam into the hallway. She was walking briskly away from the Gateroom, brushing past personal to get to her lab, he supposed.
He was right. He followed her all the way there and watched her for a few moments. She picked up a packet of papers and looked at it for a few moments. She sighed and threw it back on the table and ran a hand through her hair. She looked positively exhausted.
"Hey, Carter," Jack said quietly.
Sam looked up at him. "Sir," she muttered.
"Listen, Carter, what I had to say back at my house—"
"It's okay, sir," Sam said, cutting him off. "I understand."
"Just… just let me apologize, will you?" Jack said.
Sam crossed her arms and looked at him expectantly. Jack sighed and ran a hand through his hair, trying to think of the best way to put this.
"The house was bugged," he began. "I'm sorry I had to say the things that I said. I didn't mean a word of it."
Sam raised a skeptic eyebrow. "Oh, you didn't?"
"No."
"Taking instead of waiting for them to give?"
"Necessary to get Maybourne to come and give me the job."
"Just luck?"
"I think we know what we're doing."
"Our friendship?"
"Completely firm in its… uh… foundation." He frowned at his choice of words, but said nothing more on the matter.
"My intelligence?"
"You know that you're the smartest person I have ever met."
"You haven't been the same since you met me?"
"Well, that part was true."
She raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
He looked up at her, his brown eyes boring into hers—but this time they were warm instead of the harsh cold she had witnessed earlier.
"You've made me better," he said simply.
Sam blushed and looked down at her hands, a small smile spreading across her face. She looked back up at Jack and he returned the smile.
"So," he said. "Three months awake, huh?"
Sam blushed and looked away again. She didn't say anything.
Jack grinned. He enjoyed any and all chances he got to embarrass her.
"Did you really miss me that much?"
"It was really Teal'c, sir," Sam said with a grin. "He was the one that really missed you."
Jack laughed and shook his head. He knew that he had royally screwed up, but he was on the way to mending his broken relationships—especially one that mattered a lot to him.
"So, Carter," he said. "Lunch?"
Sam smiled and began to walk with Jack as he walked towards the commissary. "Sure."
Author's Note: Well, I hope you all liked this.
