Spoilers: for the SS arc
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The last time he had come here, it was raining. It was light, almost warm and caressing, and it had softly enveloped him. Today, the sky was clear and almost too bright. He looked up slowly and was instantly blown away by a bright ray of sunlight that traveled through the foliage. The tree had grown slightly and created a shadow on the undulating grass. Renji sighed and kneeled slowly.
Rukongai hadn't changed since his last visit. He had always lounged by the same river, listened to the same lapping waves of the clear water on the shore and heard from a distance the same giggles of children. At his usual spot, by the bend of a river, he collected a small white stone before continuing his pilgrimage.
The enormous cherry tree was always the same when he came to visit: the blossoms had fallen and disappeared, but no fruit had grown. The tree was a simple, tender, green cloud that rustled softly like a whisper.
A whisper…
Kneeling on the grass, he searched for a small pile that had formed over the years, and added the stone that he'd just picked up. Anyone who came to visit here would certainly never notice anything, but was it actually necessary for people to notice anything? The modest monument didn't gesture or signal towards them, but to himself.
Renji gently lowered his head and closed his eyes, a sad smile slowly drawing his lips back. No, the world didn't need to know. This place belonged to him; rather, it belonged to them.
…
The war seemed to never end, and if anyone languished to see the end of it, they would dread it. No one really knew what Aizen's sick spirit would bring, but they did know that victory would be won by a hair's breadth; that is, if they won.
Renji had never been the type to back out from a fight, nor to worry about any injuries or even the loss of his life. Yet, for quite some time, he couldn't completely erase the silent fear that knotted up in his stomach when he slid Zabimaru back into its sheath, and saw his captain repeat the action. The somber look that they'd exchange was as composed and clear as what they were accustomed to, but inside, way deep into his hart, the fukutaichou of the sixth division could see the same, hidden fear, well anchored and hidden as to not let it escape and be seen by others.
There were only a few times when Renji was able to discern Byakuya's emotions.Renji didn't really know how things had changed between he and Byakuya, and frankly, he didn't care. Surely it was because everything between them had passed so slowly. Renji had never really cared to notice or pay attention, until Byakuya's lips pressed against his own snapped him back to reality.
Renji also didn't know which of the two had initiated this contact and he mocked this. What was important from now on was the tenderness of their exchanges, the instants stolen during the day when they could and others out of pure desire during the night. Certainly, they had quickly realized of their proximity, their intimacy. Byakuya's family had tried their best to push Renji away, but the two lovers had stood tall because they were together, and it was difficult for them to think of anything that could possibly more important than the two of them together.
Rukia had smiled softly when Renji had admitted his relationship with her brother when he had told her the story of his love for his noble captain. Then the war had arrived. It came quickly – way too quickly. They had been forced to throw themselves in to battle with their arms, to protect what was precious to them. So, even if the two hadn't even planned it, Renji battled for Byakuya and Byakuya for Renji.
That night, the two knew that the end was near. What end? They weren't able to ask the question. Once the doors shut behind them, they threw themselves at each other, lost in their own battle. It was their own battle in which they searched for any way to melt into each other.
How many times had Renji murmured against Byakuya's neck that he loved him, and how many times had he hoped that Byakuya would offer him the same words in return? However, he wasn't ready yet, and the silent fear slowly returned to his stomach to remind him of all he owned and of all that he could lose. During the heat of their fusion, Renji clung even more desperately to the body that he embraced.
When the first of the enemies arrived, the two stood side to side, the head of their division. Then, in one moment, Renji turned towards his captain, embraced him with a desperate ardor, Byakuya's lips forming for the last time the words that Renji had wished to hear for such a long time, before throwing themselves into the battle.
Renji never really knew what had happened. He had simply felt the explosion of reiatsu that had become so familiar before it faded. He had been rooted to the spot, and in that time a blade lacerated his sides, just barely missing a vital point. He had tried to concentrate on a new battle in front of him before abandoning the site and heading toward the weak pulse of energy that he could still feel somewhere in the distance.
Renji found him at the foot of a tree, a hand resting on his stomach, stained red with the life that was slowly draining away. Renji kneeled gently and raised his own trembling hand to Byakuya's throat, feeling a week pulse. At the sudden contact, Byakuya raised his head slowly and looked at Renji, the stare filled with the shadow of regret. He wanted to speak, but the blood that had pooled in his mouth prevented him from forming even the slightest sound. He closed his eyes and let his face be cradled by a gentle hand.
"Don't try to speak, Byakuya."
"Ren…"
Sudden coughs stopped him in his speech and his own blood slid slowly down his alabaster skin.
"Renji… I…"
And the weak pulse stopped. Despite the tears that fogged up his sight, Renji wasn't able to look away from the sight of empty eyes that, just before fading, had finally told him the words that he was never able to hear, like a promise that would never be held, but also never forgotten.
…
The light breeze blew softly against his tears and made the leaves of the cherry tree rustle as though, after ten years, they remembered about the inaudible paroles.
Since the death of their leader, the Kuchiki clan had chased him from their house, forbidding him to even come see the tomb of his lover. Hence, he had come to visit the tree every year, the place where he had cried on the corpse of his captain until someone – he didn't remember who – had come to remove him gently, as though he could break any minute.
It wasn't long after the funeral, when Renji was offered the opportunity to become the taichou of the sixth division, and he accepted. However, it was soon realized that with the disappearance of Byakuya from his life, Renji had lost the passion to battle. Many tried to find someone for him to surpass, but nothing seemed to deserve his interest anymore. He had pulled back from his functions and the world, little by little. Today, he had given up his place as captain, and he was no longer worried about what he'd do after. Nothing had any importance anymore.
He held out his hand and softly caressed the small pile of stones, an action that was as simple and pure that his love could have been for Byakuya. And with a soft smile on his lips, he closed his eyes.
…
As the night began to fall, Rukia started to worry about her friend. He had never been the same after the death of her brother, but he was always strong and she had believed that he'd forget in the end. But the years passed by, and the flame that she loved to see burn in Renji's heart never returned. Even his smile had lost its warmth.
She stared once again through the window and decided to look for him. He needed, without doubt, to be alone, as she couldn't even feel his reiatsu, but it was time for him to remember that he wasn't alone. Rukia didn't have to think about where Renji was, and she quickly headed toward Rukongai.
She found him sitting at the foot of the tree, his head hanging slightly and his face relaxed, something she hadn't seen for a long time. She approached him and readied herself to scream a few insults for laying there and making her worry when she froze.
Tears gradually leaked down her cheeks, and she lowered her head slowly.
Renji wasn't asleep.
He had just made sure that Byakuya would be able to hold to his promise.
