Chapter 1

The G.O.A.T. Whisperer

8-3-2274

War, war never changes. Since the dawn of human kind, when our ancestors first discovered the killing power of rock and bone, blood has been spilled in the name of everything from god, to justice, to simple psychotic rage.

In the year two thousand and seventy seven after millennia of armed conflict, the destructive power of man could sustain itself no longer. The world was plunged into an abyss of nuclear fire and radiation and blah blah fucking blah... seriously. Everyone knows the damn fallout back story. The Great War. World war III. Ragnarock. Nuclear war. Whatever you call it, people hid away in glorified self sustained fallout shelters for 20 or so years, and when they emerged, surprise surprise the world was unwelcoming, and mutated beyond belief, it was a hellish pit of festering shit... but for some unexplained reason vault 101 has been closed for near 200 years... this is the story of when that crap changed, and the person who made it happen, and saved the capital wasteland.

"As far as I can tell, you're a perfectly healthy 16 year old boy. So yes, you have to go to class and take the g.o.a.t. Exam," James, Richard's father and the vault's physician, a tall bearded man with black hair, streaked at the temples with grey, said, replacing his eye scope into his pocket.

"But... but im sick, really!" Rich mumbled, feigning a cough, but James just shook his head and messed up his hair messy hair, which was just long enough that it stabbed into his eyes in an annoying way.

"No. Your not. Really," James laughed. "When I began studying medicine, the first thing I did was learn to spot a kid pretending to be sick to get out of an exam."

"But..."

"No buts. You'll do fine. It's not so hard; everyone has to take it when they're 16. I had to, you have to. You'll do fine, OK?"

"If you say so..." Richard said with a defeated sigh.

"Hey it's not my fault, those are the rules." James said, with the usual bitter tone he got when he talked about the rules of the vault or the overseer.

Richard grumbled to himself, and with yet another of his teenage angst sighs, turned and punched the door release button, and nearly crashed right into the constantly frazzled looking Jonas, his black curly hair, constantly mussed and messy, sticking up everywhere, already graying despite his young age of twenty five.

"Good luck today Richie," he said in his normal slightly harried voice, as he adjusted his glasses on his face.

"Thanks Jonas... im sorry but im running late, we'll talk later ok?" Richard said as he hurried past scowling at the nickname Jonas always insisted on calling him, and tossed a quick hello to the Vault's chief mechanic Stanley, who once again looked like he was suffering from what nando knew, through reading his father's medical text books, was vault depression syndrome.

He walked out of the vaults clinic just in time to see his childhood frienc Amata, and his crush of nearly ten years get stopped by Butch and his group of assholes who decided they'd form a "gang" if there can be such a thing in a vault and go around calling themselves the 'tunnel snakes'.

"Get out of my way!" She exclaimed as they surrounded her, trying to shove by Butch, a tall greasy haired guy who, like his friends, wore a leather jacket, with its stupid snake insignia on the back, over his vault suit. "You stupid tunnel snake assholes!"

Butch shoved her against the wall, "why don't we show you a real tunnel snake?" he sneered, grabbing himself lewdly.

"Awh, looks like she's gonna cry!" Wally Mack, a blond haired muscular boy, laughed. "Why don't you go crying to daddy?"

"What's going on here?" Ricard marched up, but was blocked by Paul Hannon, a slight black boy who joined Butch's group of fucktards just so Butch wouldn't beat him anymore, he shot an apologetic look at him.

"Oh look, its smart mouth. I'm afraid I don't have time for your fancy, pretty words right now. Beat it. Cant you see I'm courting your little girlfriend right now?" he said waving Richard away dissmisively.

"Leave her alone butch. Now," He growled, balling his fists. "Or you'll have to answer to me."

"Keep talking like that and we're going to have to send you back to your daddy with a few broken bones to fix," Butch sneered, anger rising into his voice. He reached into his pocket and flipped out his switchblade. "And maybe she'll have a couple extra openings."

"That's it Butch. You and me right now." Richard narrowed his grey eyes.

"OH, You've got to be kidding me. Come on snakes; let's teach this asshole another lesson."

Rich had never been the most muscular kid, but he knew how to fight. His father had made a point of teaching him some moves, after seeing him come home with his fifth black eye.

Wally and Paul advanced on him from either side. he caught Paul's arm as he went to punch him and swung him into Wally, sending them sprawling on the floor. Butch swiped at Richard who barely dodged the little blade and, grabbing the front of Butch's jacket, buried his fist into Butch's face once, twice, and a third time for good measure. Blood spouted from his nose as his head snapped back and he fell to his knees covering his face as tears poured from his eyes.

Paul and Wally stumbled over to and helped Butch to his feat shakily.

"C-come on tunnel snakes..." Butch growled still holding his nose glaring through tears. "This little bitch isn't worth our time."

As Butch was carried off by Wally and Paul, Amata turned and hugged Richard. "Thanks for getting rid of them... your a really good friend! I don't know why they won't just leave me alone... just because I'm the overseer's daughter... idiots."

"Oh well. Why don't you talk to your father about them?"

"You know I can't do that... you know my dad... I just can't" she sighed, stepping away, walking to the vaults school door. "I'm going to go sit down now... get ready for the G.O.A.T.. Good luck..." and she punched the door's release and stepped inside.

As he stepped into the room, Mr. Brotch turned to look at him. "Glad you could make it!" Brotch said in his usual bored and sarcastic tone. "You ready for the g.o.a.t.?"

"Not... Really..." he groaned, but his teacher just smiled.

"Trust me Rich, its not really that bad, just something that we all have to go through, that, if we refuse, will probably result in our getting killed. Or shoved into maintenance department like poor Stanley."

"Do you think I'll do well?" He asked with a gulp.

"... Im sure you will." Brotch shook his head. "Seeing that it's multiple choices. With no wrong answers. We'll start when you're seated."

Nando followed his teacher to the front of the room, dodged an attempt by butch, whose nose was still bleeding by the way, to trip him, to where his seat was.

The second he sat, Brotch began in his drawling voice, "now that EVERYONE'S found the classroom and their seats," he stared pointedly at Richard who slid into his seat quietly, and everyone snickered. "We can begin. No talking, and keeps your eyes to yourselves," Butch laughed "that goes double for you. Mister Deloria. Now, if nobody else has anything insightful to add, let's begin."

He pressed some buttons on his pipboy and a clipboard materialized. He started reciting the g.o.a.t. The questions were pretty straightforward, albeit a bit screwed up. From patients with terrible infections, to your grandmother ordering you to kill another vault residence. To being mutated, to stealing a comic book at gunpoint, even playing a horrible prank on your father. None of those answers were nice. Finally Brotch reached the last question.

"Ok. Last question." he sighed annoyed. "I hate this one... question 10." and his voice grew more monotonous than before, "who is... without a doubt... the most important person in vault 101? He who shelters us from the harshness of the wasteland... and to whom we owe everything... including our lives?"

Richard just stared at the paper. All the answers were 'the overseer'. This is really on here? Does the overseer's ego really need to be stroked this much? He sighed and simply checked the first answer and put his pen down.

"And that's it. The infamous g.o.a.t." Brotch drawled a few minutes later "I'm sure most of you didn't find it so bad, others..." he stared at Freddy who was still struggling over his test "well... there's always openings in the maintenance department. After you hand in your tests, you can have the rest of the day off to celebrate... or pray as the situation may warrant."

Brotch walked up and down the aisles one last time before settling at his desk. The students all stood and lined up at his desk, except for Wally, who just leaned back and stared at the ceiling, and Freddy. Who was still scrutinizing his paper so hard, Nando was shocked it didn't burst into flames.

Amata was first and tentatively handed Brotch her paper. "Here you are Mr. Brotch... I hope I did ok."

Brotch took the paper and pulled out a pen. "I'm sure you did fine Ms. Almodovar, let's see..." he studied her test and compared it to a book he had opened on his desk. "Very good, it looks like you're on the supervisor track." he beamed at her.

Amata breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks Mr. Brotch! See you tomorrow" and she darted out, not before sending a smile of encouragement to Richard, who must have had a look of sheer and utter misery on his face.

What if he didn't get a good job? What if he was forced to do maintenance all day? Sure, he had always liked the head of maintenance, the always sick Stanley, even though he always got a slight feeling Stanley didn't like him, but Stanley again was always sick, and got shit hours since he wasn't very liked by the overseer... imagine if HE Richard got that... he'd never sleep.

"YO TEACH!" Butch exclaimed, snapping him out of his thoughts, slamming his paper down on Brotch's desk "im done."

"Ah... butch" and Brotch beamed a look of sheer joy at the grease ball. "Can I honestly admit that I've been waiting for this for a long, LONG time? Allow me to savor this moment..."

"... yeah, whatever. Just get on with it I want to go home and get some food."

"Oh, alright fine." Brotch rolled his eyes and looked down at the paper, and after a long, drawn out moment of thinking, he giggled to himself. "Well... butch... I didn't think you had it in you... your a hairdresser!" at this he fully burst out laughing. "Who would have thunk it!"

Butch just stared, his stupid jaw falling open and Wally flat out guffawed, propping his feet up on the chair in front of him. Even Richard could barely contain a laugh, which caused butch to break out of his stupor and stare angrily at him.

"You're so full of it!" he exclaimed.

"Nope! You, Mr. Deloria, are a hairdresser!" Brotch beamed at him serenely. "Also, on the way out, you should stop at the clinic. You look like you broke your nose."

Butch stormed angrily from the room, and Paul quietly stepped up to Brotch's desk, and handed him his paper.

"I'm all done Mr. Brotch..." he said unsure. "Uh... actually can I have it back? I'm not sure but... I think I need to change one or two of my answers..."

"Just calm down Mr. Hannon." Brotch said reassuringly, "I'm sure you have nothing to worry about" Brotch went over his paper and with the same degree of scrutiny as he had Butch's, but without the malice, went over Paul's paper. "Yepp, just as I thought. You're going to be an engineer. Congratulations Mr. Hannon, you have passed the g.o.a.t."

"Really?" Paul exclaimed happily. "That's not so bad... an engineer! Me!"

Christine Kendell was the next to hand in her g.o.a.t. And after getting maintenance department, and throwing a hissy fit, stormed her slutty little ass out of the room. Threatening Brotch with her father.

Susie Mack, sister of Wally, practically threw her test at Brotch.

"What does this stupid test say I'm going to be doing the rest of my life?" she spat venomously.

"Now Susie is that any way to talk about the 'infallible' g.o.a.t.?" he playfully scolded.

"Whatever. So what am I?"

"You will be..." Brotch cleared his throat, and visibly paled. "You're going to be a... teacher... surely due to your "gift" for communication... don't worry, it's not as bad as it sounds..." he added, more to himself than to Susie.

"About what I expected" she sneered. "See you tomorrow... Edwin." and turned on her heel, and marched out of the room, leaving a miserable looking Mr. Brotch staring at his desk

"God help me..." he muttered.

Just as Richard was about to hand his paper to Brotch, Wally shoved him to the side, almost knocking him over, and threw his paper carelessly at Brotch and stated "im finished." and began walking out of the room.

"Wait! Brotch called. "Don't you want to know your results?"

"nah. I already know what that says. Hardly takes a rocket scientist to decode this joke of a test." and simply walked out without another word.

Brotch just stared after him, slowly shaking his head. "That boy has always had attitude problems..." he sighed and turned to Richard, who finally was able to hand his test in.

"So how did I do?" he asked shakily.

"Well, let's see..." Brotch glanced at the test for a while, and then shook his head. "Huh, I wonder whose going to be your first customer as the vault's new tattoo artist? I can promise that it won't be me..."

Richard stared at the teacher for a moment. Why does a vault need a tattoo artist? "

"Why do we need half the jobs on the damn list? I mean hairdresser? Can't people just cut their own damn hair? Such is life in the 'utopia' that is vault 101!."

he sighed a little "thanks Mr. Brotch, I'll see you tomorrow."

Rich stepped into the hallway and practically ran into Amata who was anxiously standing outside the door.

"So what you get?" she smiled at him.

"Tattoo artist..."

"Really?" she tilted her head. "Doesn't seem like your type of job..."

She laughed but then stopped when she saw his face.

"But im sure you'll like it when you get to doing it!" She added quickly.

He rolled his eyes, "could have gotten stuck in maintenance with Christine."

"Oh my god I heard her hissy fit from here" and after hugging him, she ran off to go tell her dad about her assignment.

Please read and review

I am aware the first chapter was kind of dry, but hey, thats the beginning of any game isn't it?

Next time on Nuclear Wonderland: Escape!

What happens when everybody turns on you? Who do you go to then? WHERE do you go?