The Pain Of A Foolish Goodbye
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Jack Meadows, Samantha Nixon, Phil Hunter or any other character featured in this that is on the television program 'The Bill'. They are the property of TalkbackThames and Fremantle Media.
Author's Note: This chapter is a songfic. The pairing is Huxon. At this stage it is merely just a one-shot, however, if people think I should continue this, then I might be persuaded to write another chapter or two. I thought I would do a Huxon pairing as it is something different from my usual JAM paring. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and please remember to review as this is my first attempt at Huxon and I might just be persuaded to write more if you like this and review:)
The song used in this fic is 'Like We Never Loved At All' by Faith Hill (with Tim McGraw).
As everyone looked to the stage they saw Jack Meadows announcing the next person to be doing karaoke at the station party. As reluctant as she was, Samantha Nixon had decided to give it a go as she never really did these sort of things.
"So, everyone show Sam your support!" he said, as they cheered watching Sam walk onto the stage.
"Um... the song I have chosen is Like We Never Loved At All," Sam said nervously as the song began. As Sam sung the lyrics, memories played in her mind.
You never looked so good
As you did last night
Underneath the city lights
It was true. I'd seen him the night before on my way home and he looked as good as ever, in fact, better, if that was possible.
There walking with your friend
Laughing at the moon
I swear you looked right through me
As I watched you from my car you looked happy, like nothing we'd been through had affected you at all. Then you looked at me, but in a way you didn't. Although you may have looked straight at me, your face seemed blank, like I wasn't there.
But I'm still livin' with your goodbye
And you're just goin' on with your life
I still live with the memory of when I left you and the last time you said goodbye to me. It haunts me in a way, it always has since then, but I try to act as professional as I can, to keep my personal feelings aside when maybe I shouldn't. Then again, you seem to be getting along just fine.
How can you just walk on by
Without one tear in your eye
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me?
It hurts me everytime I see you, everytime you're with another woman, even if its just a drink with another close colleague. I don't think I could stand to see you with anyone else.
Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all
Yes it hurts, it always has and still does, I can't help that feeling. I can't help the way I felt, the way I still feel.
You, I hear you're doin' fine
Seems like you're doin' well
As far as I can tell
Everyone seems to think you're okay and from what I can see you're absolutely fine. I know we're still close, and we have never lost that closeness, but... oh I don't know...
Time is leaving us behind
(Leavin' us behind)
Another week has past
And still I haven't laughed yet
Everything has been getting to me lately, cases, work, just everything. I have trouble focussing but seem strong enough to pull through it since the holiday, I mean, I have to be strong. It's just hard to find things to laugh at lately, things to be happy about.
So tell me what your secret is baby
(I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know)
To lettin' go, lettin' go like you did, like you did
Tell me please, I need to know how you can forget about what we had, what we felt, the way we were. Please, tell me how to properly let go.
How can you just walk on by
Without one tear in your eye
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me?
I look over at you now and I can see you looking at me, I know you're not ignoring me now, but you still seem to look the same as you usually do, unworried, no feeling whatsoever in your eyes, not even sadness, you still even look somewhat happy.
Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all
I know it hurts, I feel it everyday, seeing you, working with you, just being with you. It makes me realise how much I miss you in my life and I can't forget about you. I don't think I ever could.
Did you forget the magic? Oh
Yes it was magic, like nothing I've ever felt before. I just don't know how I could be so stupid as to let you go, its not my fault I take the easy option sometimes, don't want to take a risk with my personal life.
Did you forget the passion? Ohhhhhh
I long to feel that passion again with you. The way you touch me, the way you kiss me, the way you hold me, the way you make love to me.
And did you ever miss me?
I miss you so much and I think you miss me too. Its just hard to ask you how you feel about what happened, about what you want, about everything.
Ever long to kiss me?
I kissed your cheek goodbye so lovingly, yet so sadly. I didn't want to do that but I felt I had no other choice. I'd been hurt enough in the last few years and I couldn't face you hurting me again. I just want to kiss you again, to feel that love for you again.
Ohhhh ohohh ohh baby, baby
I hope you don't think any less of me for singing this song. I just feel so heartbroken all the time and I wish there was something I could say or do to make you take me back.
Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
I wish I could forget, but in a way I don't want to. I don't want to ever forget you, the way we were together, the happiness you made me feel, the way I could forget everything when I was with you.
Like we never loved... at all
I'm so sorry for leaving you. I just, I got scared when you said you loved me. I know you'd said that to others in the past and broken their hearts and I couldn't face that happening to me. I really shouldn't have taken your past into account, but I was just so scared I'd end up like them, bruised and heartbroken by you, there seemed no other option, but, Phil Hunter, I love you.
As Sam finished the song, she hurried herself off the stage and from the canteen where the party was being held. She went upstairs and crept away into the quietness and darkness of her office, slid down against the wall and started crying convulsively.
So what did you think? Love? Like? Hate? Let me know your opinion by reviewing and I might be persuaded to turn what I planned to be a one-shot songfic into a story :) - Kylie xx
