So I know I haven't updated in a really long time, and I should be working on my other stories, but I just had to put this one out there. Hope you all enjoy it! (:
Disclaimer: Yeah, I know. I don't own Castle.
Enjoy! (:
Truth. Noun. Definition? The true or actual state of a matter. Honesty, reliability, or veracity. Such a simple word, you would think it would be easy to tell it. But alas, it's not. No one tells the truth, or completely at least. Everyone bends it somehow, only tells half of it, or none of it at all. It's so easy for people to lie, or to hide things from one another. Why? Maybe they're afraid of the consequences, maybe they want to keep someone safe, maybe the truth is just too damn hard to handle at that point in time. But eventually, the truth will come out, and sometimes, it can break out and destroy you.
Richard Castle was in his office, typing away on his computer. The past couple weeks had been hard. Not only for him, but for Kate as well. A 19 year old girls' mother was brutally murdered. Castle and Beckett had spent hours upon hours, searching for clues, trying to figure out who the murderer was, but they always came up short. Of course, Beckett drew similarities to her and the girl.
She was also 19 when her mother was killed. Both cases turned up dead ends. After everything Kate had been through since she got shot, this case was definitely taking its toll on her. It also had been making Castle a little uncomfortable around Beckett.
Although Kate had slowly stopped working and thinking about her mother's case, Castle had not. Day after day, night after night, Castle had been working diligently on it, trying to put the pieces to the puzzle together, but always came up with nothing. He felt guilty for leading Kate off of the case, when she had told him that she would be open to a relationship with him, hopefully, once the case was solved. You would think since he was so in love with her and wanted to be with her so bad, that he would want her mother's case solved as soon as possible, but no. He cared more about keeping her safe.
So that's why when he heard a knock on his door, at one o clock in the morning, he was a bundle of nerves. Alexis was at a friends house, and Martha was away on one of her spa getaways.
He rose from his chair, walking over to his door. He looked through the peephole, seeing a distraught Beckett on the other side.
"Kate." He whispered as he opened the door, her arms flinging themselves around his neck.
He didn't realize what was going on until he pulled her closer, holding her in a tight embrace. He kicked the door closed, as he backed up, not letting go of Beckett, over to the couch. He slowly sat her down, doing the same shortly after. She put her head down, not even bothering to look into his eyes.
"Kate, what's wrong?" he asked, worriedly.
No answer, only sobs. With his index finger, he lifted her chin up so she was looking at him. Her eyes were red and puffy, mascara running down her face, as he wiped the tears away.
"Kate, what happened?"
"It's me." She whispered.
Rick didn't understand. "What's you?"
"I happened. My mother's murder happened. My shooting happened, because of me."
"What? How was any of this your fault? How was your mother being killed any of your fault? The shooting happened because someone is trying very hard to keep the mystery behind her murder a secret. None of this has anything to do with you."
"I was shot because I kept digging. They were trying to finish me off, just like everyone else."
"That may be true, but it's not because of you. You can not blame yourself for anything."
"I want to have a heart. I don't want there to be any walls in me."
"Well until we find out the whole truth behind this, you're going to have those walls. And that's okay. You're allowed to be a little closed off and afraid of love because of what happened to your mom. No one judges you for that."
"I do. I judge myself. Do you think I don't want to be completely happy? I do. I want to be able to love someone unconditionally, I want to be able to have a family, I want to not have to worry about being shot down when I walk outside. I don't want to worry about that same thing happening to you. And we keep hitting these dead ends, and I know you want me to stay away from it because you don't want me to get hurt, but I want this freaking case solved. I want closure. I want those walls down. I look at Katarina and see myself. Seeing her go through her mom being murdered at such a young age, I know how she feels. And she's never going to be the same Castle, never. Because until we find out who her murdered her mom, she's going to have walls in her for the rest of her life. She's not going to be able to go to college and do what she's always wanted to, she's not going to be able to have a normal relationship with a man, she's going to be so shut down for the next couple years, it's going to tear her apart. Her life will never be the same."
"We will find out who killed her mom, just like we will find out who is behind yours. Both of you will get closure. I promise."
She stood her up from the couch, walking around.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"I needed to walk. My legs were shaking."
She walked over to the promethean board, as she saw it was on, but on hibernation. She saw the remote sitting on the desk.
"Did you have movie night with Alexis?" she asked, picking up the remote.
Castle's brain didn't process what she said until he remembered what he was doing on the board, less than an hour ago. He stood up, practically running over to her before she turned it on, but it was too late.
The screen came on. She instantly saw her face, along with Raglans, Coonans, Lockwood's, McAlister's, Armen's, Montgomery's, and her mother's, all with a bunch of information to each. Tears immediately formed in her eyes, anger coursing throughout her body.
"What the hell is this, Castle?"
"I uh, put a little chart together, just like you did." He lied.
"But, this is recent. You were looking at this tonight."
He put his head down.
"You're still working on my mother's case!" she said, this time a little louder.
He didn't answer.
"Damn it Castle, here we go again. How many times have I told you to stay out of this? And now you're doing it without me? I thought we were closer now, that you wouldn't go behind my back again?"
"I didn't want to get you involved."
"Castle! This is my freaking mother! I am involved!"
"Okay, I'm sorry. I just, wanted to help."
"Why? Why are you pushing me away from this, but you're still working on it?"
Castle gulped. Shit. This isn't going to be good.
"Answer me!" she yelled.
"I want you to be safe."
"But you can work on it? Are you that freaking selfish? What aren't you telling me Castle?"
"What…what are you talking about?" he asked, stuttering.
"You're hiding something from me Castle, I can tell. What is it?"
"Nothing Beckett, I'm not hiding anything."
"I don't understand how you can say you love me, and sit here and lie to my face!"
Oh shit, that wasn't supposed to happen.
"You…you heard me." He whispered.
"Heard what? I, I don't know what you're talking about Castle."
"How do you know I told you I loved you?"
"I, I didn't. I just assumed."
"No. Now you're lying. You heard me in the cemetery. You told me you didn't remember anything, but you do, don't you?"
Now it was her turn to put her head down and be silent.
"Beckett? Kate. Please tell me, you heard me tell you I love you."
She nodded, still not looking up.
"Why? Why did you lie and say you didn't remember?"
"Because I needed some time. That's why I told you to leave me alone for a couple days and that I would call you. I was still with Josh, we had a huge fight before I got shot, I still have these walls built up beside me, and I figured it would be best to pretend like I didn't hear you."
"Hoping that it would go away, like I never said it?" he asked, and once again, silence.
"Well I'm sorry Kate, but I meant what I said. I love you. I'm in love with you. That's why I am so damn protective over you. That's why I lied to you and tried to keep you away from this case, so that you stay safe."
"You have a daughter Castle! What about her? What if by keeping me away from this, from my mom, you're putting yourself in even more danger by digging around?"
"Because they want you dead!" for a second, you could hear a pin drop. "There, I said it. About 3 months after you got shot, somebody called me, claiming to be a close friend of Montgomery's. I guess Montgomery sent him some files about your mother's case shortly before he died. The man told me that if you don't stay away from this case, he can't protect you, and whoever is behind your mother's murder, will kill you. That's why I am keeping you away from it. I don't want them to kill you. I already went through that once, I'm not doing it again. And I know that you said you couldn't be in an open relationship until the case is solved, but I'm willing to wait years for that, as long as you're safe."
Before Castle could blink, he found that Beckett's lips upon his. At first he didn't respond, then as his brain processed what was going on, he was right there kissing her back.
All the angst, tension, sadness, and love was put into that kiss. He pushed her up against the wall, pinning her to him. He kissed her neck, her face, her hair, everything as she ran her fingers through his hair, grinding her body against his. She then began lifting his shirt up over his head, as he did the same, his lips never leaving hers.
He lifted her as she hoped into his arms and he carried her upstairs, still kissing her whenever and wherever he could. Once they entered his bedroom, he threw her on his bed, as he start pulling her pants down. This was going to be a night neither of them would forget.
The next morning, Castle woke up to the sound of birds chirping outside. The sun was shining in his room and he looked at the clock. 10:43. He then recollected the previous nights events. Beckett came over crying. They fought. They kissed. They had sex. Wait, they had sex, his brain registered.
He looked over to the other side of the bed. She wasn't there. Maybe she's down stairs making breakfast? He got up out of bed, throwing his clothes on from last night, and happily walked down the steps.
He looked around, and sniffed, hoping to smell the aroma of coffee, bacon, and eggs. Nothing. Once he got to the kitchen, he found that she was nowhere in sight. He looked in the living room.
"Beckett?" he yelled, no answer. "Kate?" he yelled again, a little louder, but still nothing.
He pulled out his cell phone, pressing number 2 on his speed dial. Her phone went straight to voicemail. Then it hit him. Had he just had a one night stand with Kate Beckett? And another thing always hit him like a freight train.
She was gone.
Thoughts? Please review, it would make my day. (:
