Medic inspected the active teleporter, staring at the sensitive piece of technology set on the table before him. The entire 'bread' incident had been over for a few months now, and he couldn't help but be hypnotized by the effects the teleporter had on the wheat-product. Being the scholar that he was, he dare not teleport a single loaf, lest he induce a repeat of the bread monster. The doctor glanced at his shoulder, finding one of his many pet doves- namely, Archimedes. He could most definitely tell the difference between him, and the rest of the doves because of the blood staining his head and chest. The most he could assume was that the blood had worked its way into his feathers, and absolutely refused to come out, no matter how much alcohol and soap he used...

Shaking his head, he returned to his work. At the moment, his main task was really just experimenting with other organic materials, to double-check that nothing else would be affected by the teleporter. Stock food items were off the list, all that was left was a half-empty can of 'Bonk!' and a jar of Sniper's Jarate. Archimedes nuzzled his ear, partially skewing his glasses as he did so.

"Archimedes, no." he said firmly, setting the dove on the table as he readjusted his glasses.

"Now, just two more, then bedtime, ja?" he chuckled, picking up the can of 'Bonk!' and the Jarate.

Glancing at the label of the red and yellow can, he briefly wondered how Scout managed to drink it all the time. It tasted horrible, in his opinion- the added isotopes certainly didn't help...

Medic was about to place the soda can on the teleporter, when he glanced at the jar of Jarate. Possibilities raced through his mind. The outcomes ranged from nothing to outlandish, his heart pumping with the probabilities. He decided to take a leap of faith, and placed both the Jarate and the 'Bonk!' on the teleporter. The device spun up, preparing to transport both items, when Archimedes leapt, flapping from his spot on the table to the teleporter.

"Arch-"

That was all he was able to say, before the teleporter exploded. Both the entrance and exit flew apart, bits and pieces flying across the lab. One such piece struck him in the head, forcing spots and colors to swim in his vision as he stumbled backward, flipping over the table behind him. He groaned as pain exploded in his back, chest, and head. He gave a passing whimper and pained sigh as he blacked out.


He felt himself lying on a bed, or- scratch that- he was lying on the operating table in his own theater. The medigun was active- that much he knew, as he came to his senses. The low, pleasant hum his healing device was generating was a telltale sign- but who? Who besides him knew how to operate the medigun?

"Herr doktor," a sweet voice cooed in his ear "glad to see zhat you are avake!"

"Ehh?" he groaned, his head still heavy against the pillow of the operating table.

"Doktor, try not to move-" the soft, sweet voice stated "let youself rest, ja? Ze medi-gun is almost finished."

She...she stood over him, one of his spare uniforms loosely covering her body. She was white, all over, feathers branching off of her fuzzy head. She had a small, pointed beak, and large, expressive, dark eyes.

"Ach mein gott..." he murmured, staring at...it...in confusion.

"Herr doktor..." she said softly, sounding as if she were going to cry.

He suddenly found himself in a very awkward situation. Who was this? Or rather...what was it? Where had it come from?

She placed a white hand on one of his own, and placed it over her face. He felt something sticky and viscous between his fingers after removing it.

'Blood...' he realized.

"Hello, Herr doktor..." she stated somberly, gently stroking his hand as he fell back asleep- the stress and situation forcing him to pass out once more.

A/N: Featuring- an anthro Archimedes (and maybe others?). Technically, I guess this is AU because this is a female Archimedes. I think it was a bit rushed, personally, but I'd like to know what you think!