I know that everything is like how it used to be. But why do I feel like there's a big hole in my heart?
I've felt this way since 6 years ago, yet my heart still aches every minute, every day.
Even though I lived normally with my grandpa until he died 3 years ago, even though I graduated from school with my friends yesterday...
Nothing is right, nothing is true.
It feels like I'm searching for the truth, but the only thing I could find is nothing.
Sometimes I dreamt about a girl, my childhood friend, with her stoic dark blue eyes and dark blue hair. I haven't seen her in ages, but I still miss her so badly.
Sometimes I dreamt about a man, with his raven hair and crimson eyes. Looking straight at me and pierced me right into my heart. But I don't remember seeing him anywhere before.
What is happening to me?
It hurts, it hurts just to think about the emptiness I feel.
I feel like this is not where I belong; this is not where I should call home.
I want to embrace them. I want to embrace HIM.
For 6 whole years I've acted like nothing is wrong, but the truth is, nothing is right.
The truth is that I'm aching to run and search for them. For HIM.
Maybe right now I should run. Maybe now is the right time.
And with that thought I ran. I ran to wherever my feet brought me. I ran until I hit that gate.
That big, yet astonishingly familiar gate.
I think I should sneak in. Maybe the answer lies beneath this gate.
But wait, someone's coming. I must hide myself. So I crept into a bush near the gate.
The gate opens, revealing a black limousine. I waited until the limo is gone, and then I ran through the gate.
The security alert rang, but I don't care. I ran deeper into the facility until I found a wooden house. I hid myself there.
And then my eyes catches a glimpse of a mean-looking teddy bear. It's moving.
But somehow that didn't surprise me, and that surprised me.
The bear looked at me for a moment, but then it continued washing the dishes.
This should be a weird thing. But somehow it's not weird for me.
I sat down on the floor and peeked outside for a couple of times. There are people dressed in black clothes, jumping all over the place. They're looking for me.
"You shouldn't come here, Mikan." A soft stoic voice I know so well surprised me. I slowly turned around and I saw her. After all those years missing her.
"HOTARU!" I jumped to her and hugged her. She hugged me back and she let a soft smile went through her lips. But then she let me go.
"Mikan, I'm serious. You shouldn't be here. Why are you here?"
"I'm searching for my memories." I replied unexpectedly. I didn't mean to say that, it just went through my lips. Hotaru's eyes widen.
"Mikan..."
"What's this entire ruckus about?" a man barged in. "In the graduation day too." He looked at Hotaru for a while, and then he looked at me. His eyes widen in shock. "Mi..kan.."
"Ru..ka..?" I stared at the blonde-haired man. Somehow I got some flashbacks of memories I didn't remember I have. "Ruka... right?" I held his hand tight.
"How... how could you..."
Those missing puzzles are suddenly arranging themselves. Ruka. Hotaru. Alice Academy.
"This is Alice Academy... Alice!"
Then someone knocked the door. Hotaru and Ruka panicked.
"Here, Mikan, wear this uniform." Hotaru tossed a familiar uniform and I quickly changed, while Hotaru closed Ruka's eyes with her hands.
"Hello, someone in there? We're searching for someone who barged into the Academy."
Hotaru then opened the door and punched that man with a hand-shaped gun. Of course! The baka-gun! How could I forget?
"We can ask Mikan later, right now, we have a graduation ceremony to attend. Mikan, don't do anything stupid and hide until the ceremony is over." Hotaru patted my head and she pulled Ruka away from the wooden house.
This is ridiculously familiar.
I wonder around the academy, with the uniform Hotaru gave me, nobody thought that I was an outsider. People stopped searching for me too, as they thought that the alarm was a false alarm because luckily, the security camera didn't catch a glimpse of me.
Bit by bit, fresh memories flooded my brain. I remembered Sumire, Koko, Anna, and the others as I walked pass the girls dorm and elementary classes.
And then my leg stopped moving right in front of a big sakura tree. Someone was leaning to the sakura tree, sleeping with a book covering his face.
Natsume.
My heart skipped a beat as that name went through my head.
I slowly took little steps nearing him. And then I pulled the book covering his face, and my eyes burst into tears.
I tried not to make any sound, but he woke up and opened his eyes.
And with that our eyes met each other.
We froze for a couple of minutes, and tears started to fill his eyes too.
Without a word, he reached out his arms and pulled me into a deep embrace, and something inside me just clicked together. It felt so good, it felt so right.
He held the side of my head, and took a good glimpse of my face, as if he's assuring himself that this is me. And then he pulled me close...
And he kissed me.
It didn't last long, but it felt like eternity.
"This is not another stupid dream, is it?" he pulled me into another deep embrace.
"No, Natsume." the vibrations of his name through my lips felt so right. "This is not a dream."
"At last I found you." We said in unison, while he pulled me into another kiss.
After a while together, he realized that he must attend the graduation ceremony. He then pulled me up.
"But what if they realize that I'm there? There would be a ruckus." I tried to pull back. He stopped and looked at me.
"Where did you get that uniform from?"
"Hotaru."
"Look into your pocket."
I put my hands into the pocket and I grab something small and hard, I pulled it out and I found an earring in there.
"That's Hotaru's invention. If you wear that, everyone won't recognize you." Natsume said as he slipped the earring to my left ear. And then he pulled me and we ran into the ceremony.
After the ceremony was over, we ran outside the academy. I took off the earring, as Ruka and Hotaru ran towards us.
This is where I should be.
This is my home.
"I'm home." I cried.
Hotaru hugged me, followed by Ruka. After they let go, I threw myself into Natsume's embrace.
"Welcome back home."
