Prologue Heaven, 1423

Phoenix looked up from the face of the beautiful specimen that lay upon the down beside him, and stroked her smooth face with the back of his hand; a smile crept across his lips as her cheek twitched in her sleep. He wondered how on earth he had landed such an amazing girl.

Her knee length blonde hair was tousled into a knot, her perfectly sculpted limbs splayed out across their mess of feathers. He looked down at himself, his Adonis like figure paled in comparison to her; with her wide hips, slim waist and voluptuous breasts. And, the most beautiful part of her, her wings; huge and white drowned in thousands of intricate ivory feathers that gave them an other-worldly grace.

Before he had chance to wake her, she turned on her side and stretched like a cat, blinking her blue eyes, which were groggy with sleep. Adorable, he thought, smiling at the squeaky noise she all ways made when she stretched.

Hello! She smiled and pushed herself up into a sitting position, her hair cascading down like a golden water fall, covered her body much to Phoenix s disapproval. She caught sight of his frown and laughed happily, cuddling in close.
Hello darling, He replied wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulders.
Sleep well? Arianne asked wondering how their love could be forbidden. A sin. Was it so wrong to be in love? What was wrong with being with someone?

I didn t sleep, my sweet. Phoenix replied, I watched you sleep instead. She laughed again but this time it was a hollow, empty sound. She resented heavens law, she just didn t understand why. Whenever she looked at him her heart swelled and she wanted more than anything in the world to be with him,.

She loved his messed up brown hair that ached to be played with, the perfectly pink lips that she loved so dearly and the body she longed to devour. The arms that held her, the hands that squeezed her and the legs that entwined with hers. She loved all of him, but she was forbidden to, and it ripped her apart.

Babe? She asked looking up at him through her lashes.
What s wrong? Phoenix held her closer and looked down at her in concern at the tears forming in the corners of her eyes.
Are you sure we should be doing this? Arianne swallowed back the lump that was rising in her throat, If we got found out, you d be killed and I can t risk losing you. Honey, you re worth it. I love you, I m not going to let anything keep us apart. Don t worry yourself my angel. He leant down and pressed his lips to hers softly, once, twice, three times, her arms came up to wrap around his neck and she pulled him closer, deepening the kiss considerably, she bit his lip softly and a low moan escaped his lips.

A knock on the door made them leap apart, Phoenix quickly threw on his loose grey slacks and straightened out his messy hair. Just as the door opened Arianne slipped away into the night, Phoenix breathed out slowly and sighed in relief. In the doorway stood His messenger, Carlson a small sturdy man with a quick temper and small jagged wings to match.
Evening. Carlson snapped, His Majesty requires your presence. Sure just give me a second to dress myself appropriately. Phoenix replied smoothly, feeling his pulse quicken with nervous anticipation.
That won t be necessary Sir, please follow me.

Before he could reply Carlson had took off at speed through the temple, Phoenix followed, his nerves getting more and more jumpy with every shaky beat of his wings.
Within the next few minutes they arrived at the huge frosted glass doors to the temple s Great Hall. Outside stood the two usual guardian angels, armed with menacing looking spears,
Carlson and the Phoenix boy to see you, Your Majesty. The larger of the two guards called through the tiniest crack in the door. He gestured to Phoenix to follow Carlson into the room, he obliged and stepped into the room.
He stopped dead.

Lined up against the back wall were his closest friends, the fiery red head Georgia and his practical brother Damien, the only two people who knew his secret. The expressions on their faces were that of fear, and anxiety.
Right at the end of the line stood Arianne, she was completely naked, as he d last seen her, hiding her body desperately with her arms and hair.
She was deathly pale with a light sheen of perspiration sticking to her forehead; her eyes wide and scared.

Phoenix bit back the instinct to run to her when he finally noticed the main object of attention in the room; his master, his God . He had unnaturally large muscles and thick auburn hair which hung low on his hips, as usual he was completely naked which on any normal occasion would have made Phoenix feel incredibly uncomfortable.

Well what have we got here? His voice boomed and reflected off the glass walls, as he crept steadily closer to Phoenix, a sinister smile began to paint itself onto his chiselled face, forcing Phoenix to take a step back in alarm.
I don t know, Your Majesty. Phoenix replied curtly, never taking his eyes off Arianne, willing her to believe that everything was going to be alright. Georgia looked just as terrified as Arianne, her arms were shaking uncontrollably and her knees looked as if they were going to give way. Damien looked slightly more calm, but he was chewing on his bottom lip so intently that blood ran from his mouth and dripped off the end of his chin.

You don t know? God laughed thunderously, I think you do boy. I m afraid I don t Sir. Phoenix shifted nervously and began to pick at the quick of his thumbnail.
Well, I ll enlighten you then shall I? Please do, go ahead. You ve been caught out! I know about your pathetic little love affair! He saw Phoenix s body tense, and his face begin to crease up in an uncontrollable panic.
Now the question is, what to do with all of you?

From the shadows came four angels, they surrounded Arianne, brushing her gently with their molten finger tips until she cried out in pain.
Don t touch her! Phoenix leapt forward to pry the angels away from Arianne, but found himself held back by another angel. As he fought and struggle against his captor and the scorching pain that was dancing up his arms. He watched the burning lick its way up Arianne s arms, tasting her crisp, pale flesh with its flaming tongue, it slithered further up her legs, leaving charred skin and the smell of burning flesh in its wake.

Arianne writhed and screamed, her arms flailing wildly, trying to bat away the monsters that were destroying her, pieces of her blackened skin were falling from her body faster and faster as the burning spread over her heaving chest.
Arianne had stopped screaming now, she merely wept loudly into her hands, as the pain seized her body she begged Phoenix to help her, struggling through the blackness to find him, she called out for him, pleading for him to come to her.

But he couldn t, his wrists were smoking and he was shuddering all over, using any energy he had left in him to fight off the vice-like grip that held him down. As the burning made its last few steps up her body Arianne knew she didn t have much time, she had lost sight of everything now, she cried out through the shadows, praying he would hear her words, she used up her last breath to scream through the shadows.
I love you!

She felt her head swim dangerously, and her legs shake violently before finally collapsing beneath her, slowly she fell, until she ended up on the floor curled into a lifeless heap. A single drop of blood trickled from her mouth and then all was still. A moment of silence passed and then Phoenix began to cry, wrenching, heart broken sobs ripped up his throat from his gut; he collapsed, dragging himself along the bloodied floor with his elbows to her lifeless body.

He cradled her in his arms and sobbed into her blonde hair, wishing to hear her complain about how ash totally wasn t a good look for her. But the complaint never came, all that followed was Georgia and Damien running to his side, together they lifted their fallen friend and tried to help him to stand.
You evil, manipulative bastard! Damien spat, burning anger and grief washing over him. He was just about to throw himself at his master when he heard a strange shuffling noise and the floor began to shift underneath his feet.

The next thing Phoenix knew he was falling, he could just about make out Georgia and Damien tumbling down alongside him, both of their mouths agape with terror. Phoenix closed his eyes and remembered. Remembered his true love, her smile, her laugh, the annoying way she ate with her fingers, but most of all he remembered she would live again. As a human admittedly, but she would be reborn again, as the same person. She wouldn t remember him though, or Georgia or Damien. All he had to do was find her, and they would fall in love all over again.

It took eight days for the pain to start, eight days of falling through the endless sweltering blackness that suffocated him, in complete silence the three of them fell. Until the searing agony sliced up their spines and tore through their wings, shredding them of their lustrous feathers, leaving behind a ruined, gory mess of bone and sinew. He had lost sight of his friends some time ago, although he heard their shouts of agony mirror his own as if they were falling centimetres away from him, he screamed so loudly that by the end of his wail he couldn t speak, he was still screaming silently when the three of them crashed into the earth on the ninth day of their terrifying decent.

Falling Darkness.

Are you alright? My Mother asked, swivelling around in the passenger seat of the BMW, popping her small, blonde-bobbed head over the top of the headrest. Fine. I grumbled, crossing my arms across my chest, praying that the car would drive over a rusty nail, popping its tires so our journey would have to stop. We were on our way toward my new school, Coldwater High. My parents had decided to move to Coldwater sometime over the summer, because one of the reports in my Mum s stupid real estate magazines had described it as the new California; I snorted at the thought.
My experience of Coldwater so far had been exactly the opposite to California, the weather was terrible, the people bleak, and the town lacked any form of interest.

No need for the attitude Arianne. My dad snapped, I caught sight of his frown in the rear view mirror. My dad is your typical business man, short black hair, suit, and shoes so shiny I could see my reflection in them.
I ignored him, turning my head away to look out of the car window; through the sheeting rain I could see an Edwardian style building in the distance, looming at the top of the hill.
Is that it? I asked, craning my neck so I could get a better view, as my dad slowed to a steady stop, cutting the engine. Yes dear.

I stepped out of the car and looked up at the school.
Coldwater High was surprisingly lovely, the red bricks glistening beneath a layer of rain, delicately patterned windows littered the front of the building, and several climbing plants clung to the climbing frame which outlined the heavy oak doors.
There were no students littering the courtyard due to the rain, but the least thing I wanted was to run into a bunch of the other teenagers when I looked so stupid.

I abandoned my parents at the car and made a dash for the school, pushing through the doors, ducking inside a toasty reception area. An elderly woman with a wilting perm greeted me with a half hearted smile that crinkled the skin around her eyes. Laugh lines, cute.
Hello my dear, you must be our new student Arianne Casper. I nodded, smiling back at her I tucked a strand of my dripping wet blonde hair behind my ear.
Nice to meet you. Where do I need to go? I asked, ignoring the fact that my parents had just entered the room.
Follow me, I ll take you to your room.

I nodded, and took off after the woman, following her up a set of polished mahogany stairs, taking in the landscape paintings on the walls, the crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling of the highest floor, which threw out rainbows in every direction.
We proceeded onto a long, twisting corridor, which seemed to have hundreds of doors on both sides; each with a variety of different photographs, posters, and name plates blue-tacked onto them, a smile was tugged from my lips; it seemed that the students might actually be decent people. Things were looking up.

We came to a stop outside of a door that was covered in photographs of a girl with chestnut hair, threw back into a ponytail, in various different poses; winking at the camera, wagging her finger, pouting her lips My heart sunk, this girl seemed a bit- racy. Exactly the opposite to me.
Here s your room love, your room mate should be in your room, her name is Georgia. She s a lovely girl underneath it all. I placed my hand on the round handle and twisted, pushing the door open slowly.

The girl was sat in the middle of the floor, with a scrapbook open in her lap; she looked up from the book and locked eyes with me. A playful smile crept it s way onto her lips; she rose, shaking a messy fringe out of her eyes.
You must be Arianne! She squealed, I m Georgia! She surprised me by throwing her arms around me, I patted her on the back awkwardly and made the effort to smile back at her.
Yeah, um hi. I looked down at myself in my super long jumper, leggings and biker boots and blushed. I looked so plain in comparison to her Dorothy Perkins skinny jeans and silk wrap around floral patterned shirt, with her flawless skin, glossy hair and big doe like eyes.

You look lovely, I sighed, I wish I could look like that. Oh honey, you have all the potential. Georgia drawled in a spot on Oklahoma accent, scanning my body from head to toe.
Yeah, all the potential to be a complete wall flower for eternity. I sighed.
No, sweet thang; you have plenty of sex appeal. All we need to do is highlight your more womanly features and go crazy with some eyeliner. I wasn t sure I liked the sound of that.

After a brisk shower I walked back into the main part of our room wrapped in my boring white towel, smiling shyly.
What next? I asked.
Georgia steered me by my shoulders to the stool in front of the polished dressing table, which was crammed with all sorts of products, moisturiser, exfoliating gel, hair spray, hair clips, hair bands and a humongous leather make up bag which was spilling its contents onto the table.
You have a lot of stuff. Yeah, I guess so; luckily for you I have so much, you re going to need a lot of it honey.

Firstly Georgia took my long hair under her control, smoothing anti-frizz serum into it she asked,
How on earth did your hair get so long? It s gorgeous! I just never really bothered to get much cut off it since I was six, I ve always liked long hair so I thought why not. Fair enough, don t you dare cut your hair, it would be a crime against beauty.

I laughed at her seriousness, relaxing more into the chair, letting myself feel her fingers working through my hair as she was blow drying it; which took an agonisingly long amount of time to do.
As she began to curl my hair loosely, running her fingers through the tresses to separate the curls I looked at her reflection in the mirror over my shoulder and studied her profile properly for the first time since I d walked through the door.
Her face was heart shaped, with very outlined cheek and brow bones, which made her stunning almond shaped green eyes stand out even more than they already did. Her lips had the perfect cupids bow, her nose very feminine and defined.

Next she smoothed foundation on to my face, rubbing it in using small circles, the pads of her fingers applying pressure across my temples, kind of like a head massage.
Where did you learn to do this? I asked, letting a sigh of pleasure escape my lips. One of the professors is an ex-beautician, I stayed behind after class and she showed me a few things. I nodded, trying hard not to blink as she curled my lashes and coated them with mascara, making them look the longest I d ever seen them, stretching out independently from my face.
Then she lined my eyes thickly and painted intricate patterns at the end of my eye.

Finally she threw a cream coloured vest top of mine, some short shorts and brown tights into my arms, I nearly dropped them in surprise.
I looked at her with one eyebrow raised,
Wont this make the wrong first impression? No of course not, don t you want guys to notice you? I shuddered, remembering my last boyfriend, Kyle. He had been a bit clingy, it got to the point where the police had to remove him from my front garden.
I m not so sure I m ready for male attention, it s my first day. Exactly! First impressions are everything! Georgia gushed, pulling the vest down over my head.
Hop to it! We need to be downstairs for dinner in ten minutes. I sighed, throwing on the shorts and tights, on the way out of our dorm I caught sight of myself in the full length mirror, which was in the shape of a lipstick. I had to admit, I looked good.

I followed Georgia down the stairs, keeping my head down to avoid the inquisitive stares of the other students that pushed past us. From the tentative glances up I made they all seemed fairly nice, but I d learnt not to go on first impressions after the incident with Kyle. There was a difference between about half of the students, half of them seemed beautiful, flawlessly stunning; the other half just seemed to be normal teenagers with spots and mood swings. I made a mental note to ask Georgia about it later. We turned around a sharp corner, and made yet another left, then we were finally outside the huge double doors that had Dining Hall engraved into them. Sweet, I thought, putting my hands onto the wood Georgia and I pushed into the Dining Hall.

The interior of the Dining Hall was pretty much identical to that of the rest of the school, except for the millions of tables and chairs which all appeared to be full, I gulped.
You hungry? Georgia whispered into my ear, I nodded and followed her to a huge table full of plates of what looked like spaghetti bolognaise, iced buns and a several huge jugs of different kinds of juice.
We grabbed our food and I followed her through the maze of tables to a table that already had a boy and a girl sitting on it.
Guys this is Arianne, she s my new room mate.

Damien, pleased to meet you. The boy introduced himself, huge chocolate drop eyes glistening, he had messy black hair, thick framed glasses and a couple freckles spattered across the bridge of his nose. There was something cute about the way he slouched and had his arms crossed behind his head, a lazy smile playing on his lips.
Hey, nice to meet you too. I smiled back at him, and accepted the kiss on the cheek he offered me, the stubble on his upper lip scratched my cheek slightly. During the whole kiss on the cheek scenario I had time to drink in his style, a plain black long sleeved t-shirt, dark washed jeans and red Toms; I also noticed a little notebook he had tucked into his jeans pocket.

Hey I m Tara. The girl smiled, flashing a perfectly straight set of pearly white teeth, she had thick ginger hair which had been cut into a very bold sixties style bob (short at the back, longer at the front), big blue eyes the size of saucers, and a teeny tiny little figure; she must have been only about 4 foot tall, bless her.
Hey Tara. I grinned back sliding into a seat next to Georgia who was already deep in conversation with Damien about how she d given me a mini makeover before we went to the Dining Hall, I could see him nodding in approval, scanning me up and down, complimenting Georgia on her eye liner application.

Could you get any more gay? Tara teased him, poking Damien in the ribs with her perfectly manicured pinkie, he scowled at her and swatted her over her little ginger head with his notebook.
Fuck off midget. At least I m not in denial of being a midget, whereas you deny being gay every time I mention it. That s because I m not gay! Damien insisted, a pink flush hitting his cheek bones, Tara smiled in triumph, she d got a reaction out of him.
Whatever you say pretty boy. I laughed, thankfully I didn t snort, and took a sip of my orange juice, wincing at the sharpness.

Wow you have a voice! Damien joked, winking at me through his fringe;
Shut up you. I scowled, but couldn t hide my smile. Georgia caught my gaze and raised her eyebrows, mouthing Flirt. I blushed and shrugged, suddenly my dinner became very interesting. After that I didn t say anything else, I kept my eyes on my food and picked at it, cutting off the tiniest bits of spaghetti, pushing them around my plate. I caught the worried glances the rest of my new friends were giving me, but I ignored them. I didn t look up from my plate until Georgia told me that she was leaving, and asked if I was going to go with her.

No its okay you lot go ahead, I m going to go for a walk, soak in the vibe y know? I plastered a fake smile onto my face and watched Tara and Georgia leave Damien to go to the girls dorms. I expected Damien to follow the other boys but instead he hung back, and threw his arm around my shoulders when I walked past him.
Want some help on your tour? He asked, giving my shoulder a friendly squeeze, I looked up at him and shook my head.
Nah, I need to go for a bit of a walk, clear my head.

He nodded, and gave my shoulder another squeeze before releasing me, through his smile I could see the confusion and worry in his eyes.
As I watched Damien go I noticed another male figure, lurking in the shadows of the stairwell, I couldn t see his face, all I knew was that whoever it was, was creeping me out, so I took off at a brisk walk through the doors to the grounds.

The school grounds were huge fields of tall grass, with the occasional bench placed at random, I looked around, I was alone. Good.
I walked past all of the benches, through the grass until I reached the stretch of trees that loomed at the edge of the fields.
I started to run when I reached the forest, tripping over tree roots, scratching my arms on the branches of trees, embedding thorns in my hands from pushing brambles out of my face, leaves were catching in my hair, mud flying up onto my shorts, but I didn t care all I wanted to do was find the most secluded place I could to sit down and just be alone.

I reached a clearing in the forest, which was at the bottom of a fairly steep slope, I sucked in a deep breath and started my descent, slipping and sliding on damp patches of mud all the way to the bottom of the slope. The clearing was empty except for a huge boulder that had planted itself right in the centre of the clearing, tugging my iPod from the pocket of my shorts I scrambled to the top of the boulder, rooting my feet in the cracks of the stone, and collapsed on top of it in a heap.

I shoved my headphones into my ears and began to listen to my Lonely playlist which mostly consisted of Good Charlotte, which lifted my mood considerably.
I closed my eyes and felt the knots in my muscles slowly relax, it felt so good just to be alone, in the forest with my headphones in, where no-one could see me. I sighed in contentment, feeling the winds long fingers tug their way through my hair, untangling it, lifting the curls up around my face so they tickled my nose.
Stop it! I giggled You really shouldn t talk to yourself, it s the first sign of madness y know.

I shot up in alarm and had to bite back a scream, the shadowy figure from the stairwell was stood in front of me; except he wasn t shadowy, in daylight he looked heavenly.
He had dark brown hair that was almost black, and longer than Damien s that settled on to his broad shoulders in a tangled mess, almond shaped piercing blue eyes, and a stiff jaw. He was wearing a sweater vest over a shirt, loose jeans and pumps. I was attracted to him in a weird way, geek chic had never exactly been my favourite choice when it comes to guys.

Nice music choice, Good Charlotte, sweet. I jumped down from my boulder and rounded on him,
Who the hell are you? I knew that my eyes were flashing in anger, and my hair was rising around my shoulders with the wind, my face pinched and angry. He took a step back in shock, raising his hands in surrender.
Phoenix. He tried for a smile but I stared him down taking a couple steps closer.
Why did you follow me here? You looked upset, and Damien wasn t going to stick around was he? I just wanted to make sure you were okay! I instantly felt bad for being such a bitch, he had only been looking out for me, plus Phoenix was a cute name.

Sorry, it was really nice of you to come after me. I smiled at him, and felt something inside of me tingle when he smiled back at me, his eyes sparkled and his frown smoothed out.
I m Arianne by the way. Yeah I know, pleasure to meet you Arianne. I took a few steps closer to him, drinking in the depth of his seemingly bottomless eyes.

Without saying a word we started the climb up the slope, until we reached level ground again we didn t talk to each other at all, we were half way through the forest until Phoenix spoke again.
You like that Damien guy then? I felt a blush rush to my cheeks and shook my head fiercely, my hair whipping my cheeks so it stung them an even brighter red.
No! He s just a friend, I only met him an hour or so ago. Yeah but you were flirting with him, I was sitting the table behind you, I wasn t eaves dropping I swear! I smiled at how innocent he looked and replied,
He s a flirty guy, I just responded. I don t like him, he s gorgeous, but he seems more like a brotherly type. I could swear I saw relief wash over his face, but it was gone in a flash, his cool collectiveness took over his expression again.

Oh. Damien is a great guy, but he s bad news when it comes to relationships; he s had his heart broken too many times and it s made him cold. He ll drop you like a red hot candle after he s bedded you, trust me. I blinked and looked at him in confusion,
He doesn t seem like that sort of guy? He seems really nice, it must have taken a big heart break to turn him into a man whore. I prompted, making my eyes wider, blinking innocently at Phoenix, this seemed to have the desired effect as he edged closer.
Well, he and Georgia dated for three years- Georgia? I squeaked, That explains the look she gave me when we were flirting. Yeah I guess, anyway they dated for three years, things were going fine but then Georgia decided she didn t feel the same anymore, so she dumped him and moved away for a year to go to live with her relatives abroad. It destroyed him, so do me a favour and don t ask Damien about it, he s my best friend and I couldn t stand to see him hurting again.

I nodded in understanding and squeezed Phoenix s hand, he was so cute, I could tell he was hurting for his best friend, which meant he wasn t selfish, that fact just ticked off more boxes on my ideal boyfriend check list.

It really was sweet of you to come after me earlier, I m sorry I shouted at you it s just that I m scared. I ve never done this new kid thing before, and I m still hurting after- I froze, mentally slapping myself. I d only just met the guy and I had been about to spill out all of the things that were hurting inside me, it d be just my luck if someone was lurking in the bushes preparing to spread all my secrets.

Hey, Phoenix caught my arm as I tried to make a run for it, spinning me around so our faces where an inch or so apart, I could feel the light breeze of his breath tickle my nose, and had to hold back a giggle.
What? I mumbled, avoiding eye contact by looking at my messed up shoes.
What s going on with you? What s happened to you to make you hurt? I was about ready to tell him to mind his own damn business when all of a sudden his eyes went completely white and I felt myself swaying.
I blinked several times, maybe I d been mistaken about Phoenix s eyes? All I knew was that I suddenly wanted to tell him why I was so upset all the time, so touchy, so shy

Hey, He repeated, stroking my face, What s wrong? Nothing, I just thought- no never mind. What looked like a satisfactory smile appeared on his face for a few seconds then disappeared again, and was replaced with a look of concern.
Now tell me why you re hurting my little angel? For some reason I didn t find it weird that Phoenix was calling me his little angel and the sense of d j vu that came along with it didn t freak me out as I thought it would, all I cared about at that moment was telling him everything about me.

Well back where I used to live I had this boyfriend, Kyle. Phoenix s eyes narrowed in annoyance but he gestured for me to continue, which seemed like a good sign I guess; with a mental shrug I carried on with my story.
And I, really loved him. Everything just felt so good when we were together, we used to see each other every day, he d send me flowers and when he stayed over at my house he used to wake me up with a back massage everything was just so perfect. Until- Until Phoenix prompted tipping my chin up so I had to look into his eyes, he seemed to be concentrating hard on something.
Until, we started sleeping together. I said in a rush, feeling my cheeks glow bright red I ducked my head down in embarrassment; only to have Phoenix s hand cup my cheek to bring my head up, again. What happened once you started sleeping together? He started to be really horrible to me, he d call me a whore and just treat me like shit in general, which made no sense because he suddenly wanted to be around me all the time. In a way I guess he stalked me, he followed me everywhere, in the end my dad had him removed from our property by the police. It just felt like I was being punished by someone, I d been so happy before, and then my world came crashing down and it just felt like everything went black.

I felt tears prick my eyes, threatening to spill over, I blinked hard and ducked my head; a tear trailed down my cheek and fell, landing with a soft plop onto the undergrowth.
I tugged my sleeve down over my hand and wiped my eyes with it, not that it did any good; the tears began to fall faster and faster, dripping off the end of my nose, streaking down my cheeks.
My breath caught in my throat as I wrenched the sobs up from my gut, shaking all over, choking on my tears.

Arianne? Phoenix laced his arm around my waist and rested his head on top of mine; I liked the warmth that radiated from him, it made me feel safer, and like it was supposed to be.
Yeah? I sniffed loudly, brushing him off as a wave of realisation hit me. What the hell was I doing? I was crying onto some random guys shoulder, like he was my boyfriend or something?
I wasn t a whiny kind of girl, and I wasn t about to become one.

I shot up, and rang my hands awkwardly, feeling the irritation at myself showing on my face; I was frowning hard. I knew it. I turned my back on Phoenix and started walking, quicker than I usually would.
Where are you going? Phoenix called from behind me, I could hear the hurt and shock in his voice; I couldn t bear to turn around and look at him, I knew if I did I would go running back over to him, apologising for running off without saying anything.
Back to the school, I m sorry about this.

Sorry about what? I staggered, somehow in the space of the five seconds it had taken for me to speak Phoenix had managed to make his way from a good 16 feet behind me to right by my side.
How the hell did you do that? I m a fast walker, why did you run away from me? I snorted, avoiding his eyes, which were curious and full of surprise.
I just I m tired, I really need to go find Georgia. I stammered, beginning my walk again.
Let me walk you back? Phoenix offered, keeping pace with me.
Whatever. I grumbled, glaring at my feet as we walked, why was I such a push over?

We reached the dorms in about ten minutes, we hadn t talked for the entire journey, I expected him to start saying his goodbyes at the staircase but true to form he followed me into the girls dormitory.
Um, I thought you weren t allowed in here? I asked awkwardly, breaking the silence, you could have cut the tension with a knife.
I ll make an exception to keep you safe. I was ready to laugh until I realised how deadly serious Phoenix looked, it made me feel kinda nervous.

When we reached the door to my room I turned to look at him, he lowered his head, and hesitated. His lips a breath away from mine.
I should probably run inside my room now, I thought, I shouldn t have let him follow me here.
I found it hard to care about the should s, all I cared about what was I wanted, and all that I wanted was to kiss him, and keep on kissing him. Which was pretty weird, considering the urge only came on when he turned around, inclosing me against the door to my room.

I pushed him back, breaking free of his dark, sexy spell, and stumbled through the door to my room, it was empty.
Shit.
I d expected Georgia to be in our room, painting her nails or something; I guessed she was hanging out with Tara in her room. It hit me that it was probably a really bad idea to be alone with Phoenix.
Arianne. He said, reaching for me again. My body felt so light, so warm. I could feel the heat radiating from Phoenix s skin melting into me, soothing my limbs, which were exhausted from all the running. Phoenix s blue eyes were burning with desire, he moved closer, so our faces were inches apart; this time I didn t push him away.

And for some mad reason I wanted to move forward and close those few inches between us. I wanted to rest my head on his shoulder. More than anything I wanted the feeling of his lips on mine, I wanted the kiss that had been building between us since we met in the clearing.
Phoenix gave a soft, knowing laugh as if he new what I was thinking, and liked it. He clasped my wrists in his hands, and guided my arms around him, pulling over bodies that few inches closer together.

He moved slowly, so slowly, as if he was afraid that he would startle me; every second that passed just made the atmosphere more tense as our faces crept closer to each other. When we were close enough that our eyes were almost crossing I gave in and pressed my lips to his.
The softest feather-light touch of our lips was all that connected us to each other, but a fire I d never known before coursed through me, and I knew I needed more, all of it- all of Phoenix.
It would have been to much to ask of Phoenix to feel the same, to wrap his arms around me and kiss me back.
But he did.

His muscled arms circled my waist, drawing me to him, I could feel the line of our two bodies pressed together, our legs tangled together, our hips pushing against each other, chests heaving in time together.

Phoenix backed me up against the wall, pinning me closer to him so I could hardly move, until he had me exactly where he wanted me. All this without breaking the passionate lock of our lips.

Then he really started to kiss me, softly at first, making soft pecking noises in my ear. Then long, sweet and tenderly, along my jaw line and down the side of my neck, making me moan and tilt my head back.
He brought his face level with mine again, pressing our foreheads together, a loving smile playing on his lips. I wasn t interested, I yearned for him to kiss me more.

At last he returned to my lips, kissing me with so much intensity I thought I might explode, he sucked on my bottom lip, then edged his soft tongue just past my teeth. I opened my mouth wider, wanting to let more of him in, finally unafraid to show the pull I d felt towards him all night. To match the force of his kisses with my own.
He ran his hands up my back, and tangled his fingers in my hair, to pull me in for once last sweet kiss before releasing me.
He stared down at me as if he was waiting for me to say something.

He smelled beautiful.
He mouth tasted sweet and rich.
He was tall and strong . And slipping out of my arms, he backed away from me, pain washing over his face; for a second I thought he might cry.
I wasn t that bad was I? I joked, but from the look on his face he wasn t in the mood for joking; I tugged on his sleeve, hanging onto his arm so he couldn t go. But he tossed my arm off, and ran out of my room like a scared mouse, yelling I m sorry over his shoulder.

I stared after him, even when I couldn t see the silhouette of his form in the distance, I stayed in my position in the door frame, looking down the corridor. It was almost as if I was waiting for him to come running back, as easily as he had fled. I was waiting for him to come and wrap his arms around me, but he never came back.

Hours passed by, but I didn t move from my post. Several students walked by, giving me strange looks as they made their way to bed. I didn t move until I heard the miniature grandfather clock that Georgia had hung on her wall chime twelve times to tell me it was midnight. Georgia still hadn t come back to our room, but at that moment I didn t care. I walked slowly inside the room and closed the door behind me with a soft click.

After I had stripped off my clothes and threw on an old t-shirt and some Calvin Klein pyjama bottoms that had once been Kyle s, I dragged myself to the bathroom; it felt like an invisible hand was holding me up by the scruff of my t-shirt; forcing me to move.
After brushing my teeth, I walked sluggishly back to the bedroom and collapsed into my bed.
It wasn t long before the tears started falling.
Again.

I woke up at some ridiculous time in the morning the next day, my eyelids stuck together after my mascara had run when I had been crying the night before. My head was pounding as I pushed myself upright with my elbows, and squinted in the darkness to see the time on the little digital clock that was stuck in the middle of the little table between mine and Georgia s beds.

The red numbers glowed a painfully bright scarlet, and told me that it was six o clock. I groaned and heaved my aching body from the bed, stumbling blindly through the darkness to the bathroom.

I practically fell through the door to the bathroom, and sat down on the toilet seat; brushing my teeth slowly and carefully, savouring the minty taste of the toothpaste. Next I swilled my mouth out with some Listerine which was so strong it made my nostrils burn.

I trailed back into the bedroom and started unpacking my bags as quietly as I could, I placed my Smurf figurines, gold pocket watch, silver sculpture of the Eifel Tower, and little Victorian jewellery box onto my designated shelf.

Next I unpacked my favourite books; my Paris information guide, Oliver Twist, the Harry Potter series and finally The Lord of the Rings trilogy, which fit in nicely next to all of my trinkets.

Using some blue tack I d packed I stuck my old French movie posters to the wall, along with all the train tickets I d ever used, and all the photographs of me with my friends since I was 7.

Finally came the clothes, which were few, and as boring as ever. They fit into the chest of drawers easily, with enough space to fit another million outfits in.
I was just folding up the vintage dress I d bought from a stall in Camden, when I d visited London last summer with my old best friend Claire,
(along with the thought of Claire came a pang of misery, it had been weeks since we had seen each other) when Georgia finally stirred from her sleep. Wincing as I opened the black out curtains.

Bloody hell, what time were you up? She asked, swinging her legs out of bed; I had to hold back a laugh when I caught sight of her tousled hair which was sticking up like a porcupine.
Six. I replied, I didn t sleep well last night, so I figured I d sort my stuff out. I gestured to my newly refurbished side of the room, and got a nod of approval.
Nice set up, it s very vintage. Except for the Smurf figures. She laughed and poked her tongue out at me, I stuck my tongue out back and tossed my new school uniform onto the bed.
You need the bathroom? No, I answered, Go ahead.

When Georgia had closed the bathroom door behind her I slipped into the grey pleated skirt which finished half way down my thighs, and yanked on some over the knee white socks. The school uniform for Coldwater High definitely had a very traditional Japanese feel to it. I buttoned up my white blouse, and secured my bright red sailor collar around my neck.

I was just stuffing my feet into my black pumps when Georgia walked back into the room, freshly showered, the smell of roses wafted from the bathroom into our room. Georgia put on her own school uniform, she seemed to look so much hotter than me in it, which was weird considering our outfits were identical.
The clothes side of things sorted we began to apply makeup, I went for the natural look by using minimal makeup, just a thin coat of foundation, mascara and eyeliner. It suited me more than having a face full of makeup.

As I started to untangle my mess of blonde hair Georgia set about straightening her brunette mass,
You re so lucky! She whined, I wish I had naturally gorgeous hair. Trust me, having hair this long and thick is a bitch at the best of times. I comforted her, tugging a few more knots out of my hair; she snorted and began styling her hair into a pretty little up-do. Several minutes later when I d pulled all the knots from my hair I twisted it together into one thick braid which I fastened with a bright red rubber band to match my school uniform, next I pulled the braid around to my shoulder so the end of it dangled just over my ribs. I pulled a few strands out of the braid and tamed them so they framed my face, with a quick look at Georgia s alarm clock everything went into hyper drive. We grabbed our bags from by the door and bolted from the room.

We made it to our first class, English, in record time; the alarmingly small class was just filing into the classroom by the time we reached the door; we tagged along on the end of the line and finally made it into the classroom.

The classroom was quite large for a class of 15, with pale blue walls and a grey carpet. Individual desks were stationed in neat little roads, accompanied by comfy black chairs.

Georgia flopped into a desk in the back row and gestured for me to sit in the desk next to her; I obliged, and settled in my seat. Tossing my bag under my feet, I picked out a fresh green notebook and a leaky fountain pen my Mum had given me for my last birthday. I dropped them on the desk and set about twiddling with the end of my braid, drinking in the students that were still coming in through the door.

Most of them were girls, that came in all shapes and sizes, which was fairly comforting; I wasn t going to stick out at least. The boys were all tall and lean with toned muscles and messy hair, in amongst the masses I caught sight of Damien strolling along; he turned away from the boy he was talking to and saw me; he let out a long, low whistle under his breath and made his way over to my desk.

Look what the cat dragged in! He perched on the corner of the desk and ruffled my hair lightly, smiling that movie star smile I was learning to love.
Shut up! I hissed, rolling my eyes over dramatically.

I caught Georgia staring at us and instantly felt bad for them both; I could tell from the hurt look in Damien s eyes when he saw Georgia that he still loved her, and that the whole flirty front was just a mask to hide his pain.
I couldn t hate Georgia for leaving him, at least she hadn t strung him along.

The whole tragedy of their relationship reminded me of the night before, how Phoenix had captured my attention so quickly, had lured me back to my room and kissed me. Then abandoned me, and ran off like a coward. I nearly winced from the memory of it all, and sighed heavily; the thing that bothered me the most was how I d gotten over Kyle so quickly; and how I really hadn t seen it coming.

You alright? Damien asked, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
Yeah I m fine, I smiled at him, I was just thinking that s all. What about? Nothing. I snapped, and immediately felt bad for being so awful to him, I didn t have time to apologise as the teacher walked in and demanded for everybody to return to their seats.

The next ten minutes passed in a blur, and I felt my eyelids drifting shut. The teacher, I didn t catch her name, was rambling on about Macbeth, and how women were shown in a completely different light during the play, or some crap like that. Then she broke in her speech, and addressed someone.
You re late. Sorry Miss. My eyes shot open. I recognised that voice.
Phoenix was stood in the door way, his hair messed up as if he d just gotten out of bed, his eyes rimmed red and watery with sleep, his shirt hanging out and his tie askew. I could see the teacher looking him up and down, she shook her head in despair.

His eyes groggy, he scanned the room for a spare seat. His eyes fell on me, I gulped and the feeling of wanting to cry hit me like a Double Decker bus, I wondered what I d done wrong, to make him run away from me.
He held my gaze for a few seconds then looked away, he didn t even crack an apologetic smile, which made me feel uncomfortable; as if he couldn t bear to look at me.

The rest of the school day went by slowly, and consisted of me staring into the back of Phoenix s head, his strangely attractive head. It seemed the more I looked at him the more the feeling of rejection ate away at me, making me so exhausted that by the time classes had finished and I d returned to my dorm room I was so tired that I collapsed on my bed in defeat.
Georgia was stationed by the mirror, stroking her lashes with a mascara wand, by the time she had finished perfecting herself I d gone cross eyed from watching her.

I had expected her to be very nosy about why I was so quiet, but thankfully she didn t pry any further into my thoughts except for asking me if I was okay when I walked through the door. Which was a good result I supposed.

When it was my turn in the bathroom I dragged myself inside and locked the door behind me with a click; I leant against it and let my body slip down against the condensation drenched door.
The pounding thoughts inside my head slowly ebbed away to nothing as I sat there, letting the steam from the shower cleanse my mind. It felt good to be away from everybody else. To be able to really feel the rejection I d felt the night before, and throughout the day.

Like a dead woman I staggered into the shower and let the scalding water beat away at me, scrubbing soap into my skin with so much force that by the time my hair was clean and I stepped out of the shower my skin was the exact colour of a sun-dried tomato. I wrapped my frog covered towel around myself and set about drying myself, rubbing the soft fabric into my skin in circular motions.

After I was dry, I grabbed a pair of my most worn out jeans which I had received for my 13th birthday, I never really understood how they still fit me, and tugged my irritatingly tight Mickey Mouse t-shirt over my head, I chose Mickey Mouse because I thought it might cheer me up. It didn t.

I left the bathroom, my hair a complete mess from the steam, and walked slowly into the bedroom; the room was empty so I presumed that Georgia had left to find Tara or Damien. Weirdly I was happy to be alone, I didn t have to pretend to be happy that way, I could wallow in my own self pity and nobody would know. Perfect.
I sat cross legged on my bed and brushed through my hair slowly, separating the tresses with the bristles of my brush, until finally it was knot free and ready to be left to dry naturally.
I looked at the clock, it was 17:10, which meant I was already late for dinner.

Shit! I thought to myself repeatedly as I threw open the door to my room and ran down the corridor, looking as if someone had picked me out of a dust bin, I sped through the school managing to avoid decapitating the several students I passed. I reached the cafeteria in record time and stumbled inside, I didn t bother picking up a plate of chicken curry, I just grabbed a couple apples and a cup of coffee before heading towards the table where Damien was sat.

Hey. I said, still slightly out of breath from running down the stairs. I tucked my hair behind my ears and cupped my coffee mug between my freezing hands.
Hey girl, you alright? You look pretty wacky. I smiled,
Yeah, I m fine, just a bit bummed. Damien shifted round the booth until he was sat next to me, and put his arm round my shoulder,
What s up babe? I was a bit taken aback by the babe part of his reply but brushed it off, and replied by shrugging.
It doesn t matter, just feeling a bit rejected.

What s up bitches? Georgia asked, walking up to our table, followed closely by a cheerful looking Tara.
Georgia s smile faltered slightly when she saw Damien s arm around me, to avoid an awkward situation I shrugged his arm off. She slid into the booth in the seat opposite me, she began to dig into her curry, avoiding eye contact with Damien.
Arianne s feeling a little rejected. I immediately felt the urge to nudge Damien with my elbow to make him shut up, I didn t need the others worrying about me as well. Tara frowned in concern and Georgia looked up from her food, her eyebrows creased up.

What s up Arianne? Tara asked looking from me to Damien in interest.
Nothing, boy trouble. I shook my head ever so slightly, this seemed to register with her because she nodded back and closed her lips firmly. If not him, then who? Georgia asked bluntly, a hint of sourness touched her tone towards the end of her sentence.
No-one you know, it s an ex. I lied,
Ahhh the barren wasteland of past relationships. Damien sighed, and patted me on the shoulder.

Yeah, something like that. He was a psycho, lets just say that. I muttered, taking a bite out of my apple, they all looked at me in interest so I continued, We were perfect for each other, but as soon as he got lucky , to put it discreetly, he turned into a dick. He used to slag me off all the time, and he stalked me. The words tumbled from my lips in a rush, and I felt the familiar burning sensation in my cheeks which meant I was blushing. Oh nice one, sure he wasn t gay? Maybe he tried it out with girls, it wasn t his thing so he freaked out? Tara put in, I could tell from the look on her face that she felt quite clever after saying that.
I doubt it, he definitely wasn t gay. Just trust me on that one.

Do tell more, there s nothing I love more than some good sex talk. Georgia rubbed her hands together in mock glee, and I couldn t help but laugh.
I m not telling you anything you awful- My sentence came to an abrupt stop when I saw Phoenix s distinct face amongst a group of buff looking boys, he was smiling and laughing at something one of them had said when he noticed me too. His smile fell and his posture sank to a slouch, he started over to our table and my heart sped up to a million beats a second, my stomach was flipping more and more with the closer he got to me.

He completely ignored me, and reached around me to grab Damien s fist inside his palm,
You alright mate? Damien asked, not that I was paying much attention. He was so close, so, so close. I could smell his faded aftershave and the toothpaste he d just used, it was simple and delicate, but the most perfect scent I d ever come across.
Not too bad, rough day. How re you? The familiar sound of his voice made my skin prickle with goose bumps, and I very nearly shivered.
Brilliant, the same can t be said for our little wall flower here. Damien put his arm around me again, This is Arianne, she s Gee s new roomie, she s just been telling us about her past sex life. Something in the tone of Damien s voice hinted that he was excited, I didn t understand why. I shrank away from Damien and put my head down straight away, I couldn t face the embarrassment of meeting Phoenix s gaze, but something told me he wouldn t be too happy about the sex life comment Damien had let fly.

We ve met, nice to see you again gorgeous. Phoenix winked at me playfully and a peak of hope soared through me, but just as I was about to deal him a flirty reply back his face went cold as soon as Damien looked away from him.
You too Phoenix. I mumbled, hiding my face again.
How did you two meet? Damien asked, intrigued.
I found her hiding in the woods yesterday, she was upset about the demon ex. I glared up at Phoenix, and felt tears prick my eyes despite my anger.
I stood up from the table and walked off without a word to any of them, except a brief smile.

When I reached my room I collapsed onto the bed and cried. My head was pounding and my heart throbbed with every unsteady beat, I curled into a ball in an attempt to make the pain go away, if anything it worsened. I just didn t understand what I d done to deserve the heart ache, Kyle had already broken my heart, now Phoenix figured he would too.

I might have only known him for a day, but I felt a pull towards him, a pull that was almost supernatural. I didn t know why, I d never felt that sort of attraction, even towards Kyle. All I wanted was to run out of my room, and throw myself into his arms, head first.

I wanted to feel his lips on mine again, I d had a strange sense of deja v when we kissed, I didn t know why but it felt like we d kissed before, obviously we hadn t, but still.

And it was with these thoughts that I fell into a deep sleep, I didn t stir for days, Georgia came and went, she tried to wake me but I shook her off, I only managed to mumble for her to tell everyone I was sick, and that I didn t want any visitors.

I stayed in the blackness for around about two weeks, only moving to get the occasional apple and a bottle of water, or to go to the bathroom. I lay in bed, the covers pulled right up over my head, snuggled down in the duvet, my hair a complete mess, my body achy and stiff.

Everything hurt so badly, and I wanted it to end more than anything. I stood up, on the thirteenth day, and staggered to the bathroom, falling back into my old release I pushed all over all the shampoo bottles, conditioner, shower gel until I found it. The most perfect thing I d ever seen, the metal part of it gleaming in the sunlight, I grabbed it in my hands, and brought the blade down onto my skin, the cool steel sliced through the layers of skin, deeper and deeper with the more pressure I added. I did it again, and again, everywhere, all over my body until all I could see was a sea of red, blood dripping down my body, my limbs shaking, I staggered back into the bedroom, my dressing gown wrapped around me, to soak up the blood, I dropped onto the bed and covered myself again, then fell into a shaky, fitful sleep.

On the fourteenth day the door opened and Damien walked in. He looked at me and immediately his face broke into the saddest expression I ve ever seen, he walked over to my bed, and without saying a word pulled me in for the most comfortable hug I d ever received.

His warmth and love made me burst into tears for the hundredth time that day, I pulled him closer to me and rested my head on his shoulder, sobbing loudly my tears soaked his sweater; he rubbed my back with his hands, loosening the knots that had been there for days. After a few minutes my tears dried, and my face slowly returned to its usual state, I began to hiccup and cough, choking on my dry sobs. Damien pulled away from me, and stroked my cheek with the back of his hand,

You okay now baby girl? He asked, still stroking.
No, this hurts too much. I replied, in a whisper of despair. For some strange reason I didn t find it weird that Damien was caressing my face, I liked it in a weird way. He gave me the affection that I longed for from Phoenix, so I took advantage of the medicine he was giving me and leant forward, until we were nose to nose.
Are you sure? Damien asked, I could see the desire in his eyes mounting, as he ran his finger down my face, along my neck until it came to a stop on my collar bone. I wanted to please him, maybe he could take the pain away?
Yes.

I breathed out slowly, and kissed him, softly at first, loving the warmth of his lips, and the smoothness of his kiss. He wasn t Phoenix, and he never would be, but he helped heal my wounds, and I wanted more of him. I kissed him again, harder this time, I pulled him closer and devoured him with my mouth, our tongues danced as he pushed me back against the headboard of my bed. His hands slid up my arms and to my face, he shifted his weight and put all of it down onto my stomach, I gasped in pain from the cuts that lingered there.

The sound brought me crashing back down to earth, I stopped moving my lips and pushed Damien away gently, he looked confused, flustered and as if he d been in a great gust of wind. Too soon, I m not ready for this. I just need you to care of me. I told him, I kissed his cheek and moved out from under him, I rested my head in my hands and kneaded my forehead with my knuckles.
Okay honey, I really like you, you know that? Yes. I smiled wanly, I like you too, I just don t think I m ready for a relationship, after Kyle. Well, okay then. D you want to go out sometime then? We ll go out for dinner or something? I couldn t help but smile at his persistence, I nodded and squeezed his hand.
Pick me up from here in an hour, we ll go to Bella Italia for some awesome pizza. He smiled and nodded, he kissed me on the lips before walking out of the door.

I walked into the bathroom, I knew it was best to sponge down my body rather than to have a shower, I knew from past experience that the shower would only make my wounds more sore. So I washed down my body with the sponge, and then washed my hair over the sink, trying not to get the tips of my hair down the plug hole. I rubbed myself dry and wrapped myself in the towel, I walked into our room and shakily pulled on a deep crimson button down dress that reached my knees, some thick black tights and stuffed my feet into some red kitten heels.

I took a look at myself in the mirror and noticed that one of the cuts on my arms was visible, just peeking out of the sleeves of the dress. Hastily I rubbed some of Georgia s concealer into it, to take away some of the redness and began to apply my makeup. Next I dried my hair, backcombed some of it and draped it over my shoulders, I realised as I worked through my hair that the more I kept myself busy the easier it was to forget, for the time being anyway.
An odd smoke loomed in the room, which made me feel uneasy as I coated my hair in hairspray, it made me shiver as the chilly fingers of air swept up and down my body in an eerie caress.
Before I even knew five minutes had passed Damien was knocking on the door, his knuckles making a hollow sound as they beat against the wood.

I opened the door, and slipped out, I tried my best to look sexy as I looked up at Damien through my eyelashes. He didn t look half bad himself, he looked pretty good actually. He had combed his hair so it didn t stick out quite as badly and he was wearing a black shirt with silver pin stripes running through it, some black jeans and shoes. When he saw me his face lit up, he smiled widely and said,
Hey, you look exquisite. I laughed at him, even though I didn t feel happy, I couldn t let him see that he wasn t making me feel much better, and I definitely couldn t tell him that it was Phoenix I wanted, and not him.
Ooh big word. I joked, plastering a false smile on my face I followed him down the corridor, and slid my hand into his.
Shut up you, I bet my vocabulary is much more impressive than yours so shush. You d be surprised little boy I was junior spelling bee champ 5 years running, I d walk all over you, road kill. I winked at him and laughed, sliding my hand into his I laced our fingers together.

We got out into the car park of the school after signing ourselves out in reception and promising to be back by ten thirty, I never really took the chance to look around the car park when I arrived so I took this opportunity to have a look. To be truthful it wasn t any more interesting than a usual car park, except for the painfully expensive looking Lamborghini that was parked in the head masters space. I could hold in my gasp of pleasure, it was bright yellow, and devastatingly gorgeous.

What s up? Damien asked me, looking around to see what the big fuss was all about, Oh nothing, I was just admiring the Lamborghini. I could tell from the look on his face that Damien was impressed by my car knowledge so I figured I d keep it up,
I mean, just look at the body work, isn t it beautiful? And don t even get me started on what lies underneath that bonnet, good god it s perfect. As the conversation about cars began I couldn t help realising that the more time I spent in Damien s company the more obvious it came to me that I didn t have any kind of romantic feelings toward him, he was like a little brother to me, but he did make me feel good, so what would be the harm in keeping it up for the night?

I walked in through the door to our room, leaving Damien out in the hall, with a wistful look upon his face, I immediately felt bad for telling him I liked him; I did, but I wasn t sure how much. I shrugged off my coat and pulled my necklace over my head, luckily the clasp didn t get stuck in my hair. The next step was to rescue my feet from the heels, I was massaging my feet through the thin semi-transparent tights and I let my mind drift.

I thought about Damien, and did everything I could to avoid thinking about Phoenix, and the heavy guilt that was gradually settling in my stomach like snowfall in December. I worked away at the knots that had formed on the balls of my feet, inhaling sharply through my teeth when I reached a particularly sensitive spot, until gradually I could feel my muscles relaxing, and the tension gradually slipping from my body.

When all of a sudden the door to our room was kicked open by someone whose face I couldn t see in the musky light drifting in from the open bedroom window. My pens rolled off my desk from the force of the impact and I flinched, I jumped up immediately and flicked the light switch on. I had expected whoever had kicked the door in to have run off, but instead they were standing in the door way, breathing heavily.
It was Phoenix.

I didn t say a word, and tried to stare him down, not sure what exactly I was supposed to be feeling. Angry because he d scared the living crap out of me? Or pleased to see him? No, definitely not pleased to see him, I had Damien, he didn t seem too happy himself after all, so why not retaliate?
What the hell do you think you re doing? I ask slowly and steadily, trying to keep my calm as anger seeped its way into my system.
I could ask you the same question. He replied, keeping his voice to the same emotionless tone as mine, none the less I could see the fury radiating from his body.
Implying? I retaliate, placing my hands on my hips. You re not taking the moral fucking high ground are you? Seriously? He snapped, disbelief colouring his features, he moved into the room completely and shut the door behind him with a soft click.

I have no idea what you re talking about. I did know what he was talking about, but of course I couldn t admit it to myself. I looked at the floor and focused on the fibres of the carpet, trying my hardest to work out how many fibres would cover a square inch of the carpet.
Oh I don t know you kiss me then hide yourself away for a fortnight no-one hears from you? Now all of a sudden you re on a date with Damien? My best friend? Something about that doesn t add up Arianne.

My stomach flipped and I felt myself getting angry, not just angry, furious. I began to shake, and I clenched my fists before straightening up and looking him in the face. How dare he treat me like that? He was the one who flat out ignored me, and he kissed me! Not the other way around, I thought. He didn t know what I d been through in my life, and I wasn t about to take his bull shit.
I m sorry, I think you must be delusional. You kissed me you cretin! And then you thought it d be fucking appropriate to ignore me? Yeah that really made me feel fantastic. At least Damien gives a shit, you just used me because you liked what you saw. So don t you dare try and act like you ve done nothing wrong.

I shouted it at him, and felt the lump rising in my throat, I cursed it; I hated shouting and arguing with people, but that doesn t mean to say I wouldn t stand up for myself. He looked shocked, and that made me feel a little triumphant, his gorgeous blue eyes were wide and his perfectly formed mouth was hanging open slightly, god he was just so good looking I caught myself before I let my mind wander and forget my situation.

That was different, I might not be the nicest guy ever but I didn t go after you because of how you look.

His response confused me, and I sat down on the edge of my bed and put my head in my hands, all of the fight had gone out of me, all I wanted to do was be alone; but I couldn t, so as a compromise I closed my eyes and tried to forget he was stood opposite me, seething with rage. My mind drifted gradually as the silence fell, I was using my mind to control the situation, luckily Phoenix didn t say anything so I let my mind fully focus on what was going on inside my head.

I had seen him in my dreams, and never before in my life had I set eyes upon a specimen as perfect as him, it was almost impossible to believe he had graced me with his presence. My eyes devoured his body as I took in his piercing eyes, and the sharp angle in which they were set which nearly made me shiver in anticipation. The agony that tugged at my heart was almost too much to bear as I fought the undeniable urge to reach out and stroke his milky skin, my hand wanted so bad to touch him, to trace my finger over every crease of his skin. As badly as I wanted to deny it, I wanted to have him. I wanted to have his lovely soft skin brushing against mine, and our hearts beating together as his body entwined with mine.

I opened my eyes and look at him, straight in his eyes; his wanting eyes. All of the anger had fell from his expression and he just looked confused and full of lust. I stood up slowly and took hold of the drawstrings of his sweat pants pulled them gently so he had no choice but to move closer to me. His smell was intoxicating as he grew closer, the scent of burnt wood, old books and freshly cut green grass mixed with lust.

The music that played in my head was that of a melodic symphony, which was only intensified as I heard his soft, slow but vivid breathing above the wind coming in through the bedroom window.

He unbuttoned my dress to just above my navel and knelt down ever so slightly to drag his tongue slowly and sensually across my hips, I shivered as my nerves responded to his touch. Instinctively I began to unbutton the rest of my dress, and shrugged it off of my shoulders slowly, never breaking eye contact with him, after all it was nothing more than an inconvenience.

My breathing quickened and I let out a little whine in protest when he tried to stop me from ripping his shirt off, my fingers fumbled clumsily with the buttons, my fingers tracing the outline of his abs underneath the thin cotton. Every feather light touch made me tingle and want him even more, I could feel him tense up as I brought my face closer and blew slowly onto the taut skin of his neck; gradually I licked up the side of his neck with the tip of my tongue, tasting him.

I moaned softly and bit his neck sharply, I finally managed to wrestle his shirt off of him, at last and took a minute to look at him, his chest was delicately muscled, the kind of stomach that looked like you could crack an egg on it. I slid my hungry hands up his chest until they ended up in his hair, I tousled my fingers in the soft mop of his hair, and drew his face closer, until he was literally a hairs-width away from my lips, when I finally gave in and kissed him. Softly at first, I gradually increased the pressure, poking my tongue between my lips I licked his lips lightly; he tasted of chocolate and coffee, life s most amazing flavours.

I pushed him back against the wall and devoured him with my mouth, my hands, my legs; I raked my nails down his back and tried to get as close to him as I could; I wanted more of him, and I wanted him right then and there, standing up, in my dorm room, at my school. His hands reached behind my back and fiddled with my bra, until finally he had it undone, he tossed it aside and his hands raced to my breasts, he squeezed them roughly and I let out a slow moan.

My hands flew to his sweat pants, I slid my hands inside the waist band and slid them off his hips, cheekily inching his pants off too, he grunted in protest into the inside of my neck; I stopped moving my hands and he whined again.
I giggled, he obviously was enjoying himself.
I pushed the pants off of him and squealed in surprise when he picked me up and carried me over to the bed, never once breaking the passionate lock of our lips.

The mattress creaked when our bodies crashed onto it, if anyone had been looking at us they wouldn t have known where our bodies were separated we were that close to each other, we were one person.

Somewhere in the scuffle my underwear disappeared and the next thing I knew he was inside me, he felt so good going in that if I had been on top I would have collapsed. He was steel.
Every part of me ached for him as he thrust into me, every movement kick started a new and strange sense of pleasure I d never known before, but I did know I wanted more of it.
I lost myself completely in him.
I lost control.

My hands were everywhere, in his hair, on his arms, his hips, his back, his chest.
I didn t know what to do with myself.
Everything felt so good in my body that my head couldn t keep up with it.
The sensations that rocketed through me, sent boiling blood through my veins, my heart thudded wildly as I drew him to me one last time for one last yearning kiss before everything exploded and all of the breath left my body in one strangled cry, that he echoed.
-

JUST FOR YOU NICOLA THIS IS THE DREAM THAT SHE HAS wheN SHE FALLS ASLEEP AFTER THE SEXY TIMES SEE HOW IT RELATES TO THE PROLOGUE?
YE GET ME?
If THIS didn t turn you on GOD knows what will.
DREAM

He was sitting there, in a patch of damp grass and pearly pink roses, unscathed from the fluffy moss that crept up the side of the willow tree he leant against, the tree met up with some sort of red vine, in the dead centre of the meadow, playing with a blade of grass, waiting. There wasn t a sky, or from what I could see, just a yellow light that was so bright it was blinding, a quiet, even hum vibrated the meadow ever so slightly; like a bee buzzing in your ear.
He glanced up from the emerald blade that he was fashioning into a delicate bow, and our eyes met, and as it always had done, the unearthly blue of his eyes sent me reeling from the inside out.
I staggered, hands searching for something to hold on to, my finger tips brushed the glossy surface of a smooth boulder that was placed conveniently to my left; I flattened my palm across it, shaking my head slightly.

Gradually he stood, straightening his spine so slowly and carefully I could see the tense muscles ripple underneath his translucent skin, a small half smile broke out onto his features, amplifying the stiffness of his jaw.
A light breeze picked up around us, lifting his hair delicately, so it danced in the wind, it tugged at his dark grey jeans and white t-shirt, pulling the fabric closer to his skin to outline the muscles I knew lay beneath.
The thin cotton of his shirt clung seductively to his abdomen as he started to walk towards me slowly, his tread so light his feet whispered against the flattened grass, it would have been unnerving if he hadn t looked so mesmerising.

He didn t seem at all bothered by the slight wetness of the ground, all of his attention was focused on me, drawing in a rattling deep breath he started towards me at a sprint, happiness and urgency radiating from his skin.
When he reached me I catapulted myself into his waiting arms, and buried my face into his shoulder, inhaling his familiar, homely smell. What I didn t expect was what came next, he nestled his face in the crook in my neck between my jaw and collar bone and began to sob. I could feel the dampness of his tears bleeding through my dress, I brought his head up and cupped his face with my hand.

I thought I d never see you again, I thought I d lost you He choked, but before I had a chance to ask him what the hell he was talking about a fire ignited in his eyes, so they sparkled like freshly blown glass, his hand shot up my forearm, encircled the back of my neck until finally he fisted his hand around the roots of my hair, pulling my face to his with a new found urgency so fierce it was verging upon violence, and held me there, our foreheads pressed together, I could feel the heat of his breath on my face and goose bumps prickled all over every inch of my body.

If I titled my head slightly to the left my lips would brush his, I was just about to move when he beat me to it, crushing his lips against mine; I had to fight hard to keep my burning desire at bay, so hard that it was almost a relief when I let my body shut down.

I couldn't hurt him, not like this, I d only mess things up, like I had with Kyle.

He drew back after a few seconds and stared dejectedly at me, his hair falling down to cover his face as he looked at me in confusion, he would never understand that he really shouldn t want me, that he should be running from me.

Emotional battles warred inside me as I gazed down at my shaking form; it took all my will power not to respond to him, every time I glimpsed him through my lashes my breath caught and my nerves jumped from the strain of it all. Even from my limited view point I saw a single, glistening tear escape out of the corner of his eye. It tracked down his cheek and was followed quickly by another, more followed. I had made Phoenix cry, I had made the love of my life CRY. That was asking too much of my already tested restraint.

I dragged his face back to mine and kissed him fiercely, twisting my fingers into his feather soft hair as he had to mine, he let out a groan of pleasure and leaned into me, the fire reigniting in his eyes.
Unable to control the need to kiss his, I touched my lips to his softly, and kissed him once, twice, three times. That was until instinct took over all reason, breathing heavily I kissed him longer, our lips moved feverishly together; fire and ice.
I forced his mouth open and felt his hot breath in my mouth, hungrily I he slid his soft tongue between my chapped lips, sliding down my throat with a fluidity that made my knees nearly give.
I responded and copied him, our tongues touched briefly and then we were lost in our embrace. The realisation dawned in his face, I was responding to him at last, to celebrate he hungrily slipped his hand up under her shirt and cupped my firm breast in triumph, squeezing it slightly.

Then something inside of me gave in.

He didn t catch me as I fell.
The burning kissing its way around my body.
A searing pain that felt weirdly familiar.

My body shook, and jumped wildly, my limbs were in spasm, lost in the pain I jerked around wildly trying to fight through the blackness to find his face; he was lost, no matter where my hands frantically grabbed all I caught was air, the panic rose inside me like a horned monster, and as it rose so did the agonising pain.

I began screaming, loudly, so loud that it felt as if my throat was on fire too, the screams were ripping up from my gut, piercing screeches like a cat being tortured.
Except, it wasn t a cat that was being tortured.
It was me.

I tried for one last scream, sucking in all the oxygen I could as the last spots of light faded away rapidly.
PHOENIX!