Hey team. I know this has been done but my resolution for 2011 is to write something everyday and this is what came out today. I'm not sure what to do with it or where to take it but it's here anyway. Thanks for reading.
She smiled shyly at Holly in the parking lot because she didn't have the courage to scowl. Emma was intimidated and frustrated by her freedom and bluntness and jealous of her easy conversations with Will. Those moments used to be hers.
She drove to the Radisson and knocked on the door of room 206, his usual.
"Can I come in?" she saw the discomfort in his eyes but he ushered her in anyway, cautiously with a hand on her back. She did her best not to tense.
"I'm so sorry" she thought she might cry sitting down next to him, she thought he might too.
"It's okay Ems." His voice was eerily soft. "I just want you to be honest with me, I deserve that"
"I've always told you the truth Carl. I'm not ready to be with you like that." She looked him in the eye and bit her lip. He really was beautiful.
"…and Schuester?" his face was deadpan.
"What about him?" their eyes were locked.
"Don't toy with me Emma. I want to know if you love him" his voice was firm, too forceful for the quiet room. But he had a right to be upset, she had publicly humiliated him.
"I don't know" she whispered, closing her eyes. It was too hard to let herself think about loving Will and needing him.
"Tell me the truth!" his perfect face creased when he raised his voice, showing all his age.
"Carl" she calmed. "All you need to know is that I'm married to you because I want to be with you and I'm working on the other stuff. I really am-"
It was over before she realised it happened. His open hand hitting her cheek. It was the sound of skin colliding and then a sting and then his shock. His mouth hung open and her eyes watered. Neither breathed.
"Oh God, Ems. I'm sorry…" instinctively he went to embrace her but stopped himself with a jolt. There wasn't a mark, her whole face was flushed with red.
"I should go" she said, shaking her head to collect her thoughts. All she knew was to leave.
There were tears in his eyes.
"Emma please. We can work this out. I want to be with you too, I'm sorry for rushing you. God, it's been an awful day"
He touched her hand and then kissed it.
"Emma" he whispered into her knuckles. "Let's go home and talk about this".
That night she made salad and he poured them wine and afterwards he made up a bed on the couch for himself. He didn't try to watch her undress in their room, he didn't kiss her neck or tell her she was sexy.
Told her he loved her and was proud to be her husband. She smiled because no one had ever been proud of her for anything.
"One day Carl I'm going to give myself to you" she said before switching off the light and leaving him alone in the living room.
When Will walked into the Faculty Lounge the next day she blushed and imagined him with Holly. He sat with her at the table, looked at her even though she was so flawed and he smiled. Just yesterday she thought everything familiar about Will had been taken away by Holly, who was perfect and everything she wasn't. But there he was smiling still.
"Are you alright Em?" he said softly, breaking apart his cookie.
"Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I be?"
"I don't know. I sensed you might be having a rough time after the performance yesterday, you looked a little upset" Oh God! He knew!
"That? No I'm fine…. Where's Holly?" she changed the subject hearing the spite in her voice.
"Holly has moved on" he said matter-of-factly.
"Oh" she was trying to hide a smirk.
The silence was comfortable and then he reached over and touched her hand. Her heart had never pumped faster.
"I forgot to tell you how great you were on stage yesterday" he spoke sincerely "I don't want to overstep any boundaries but it would be great for the kids if you could stop by Glee practise every now and then. I think the girls could use a strong female role model"
"I'd like that!" her smile was huge and she felt light. Will still wanted her to be around. Even if only for the kids.
Carl came home late and didn't say anything except "Thank you" when she put dinner on the table. She was desperate to talk with him about her day and his about their future about when she might be ready and what she would wear to the bedroom. He read the paper while he ate and she began clearing the table before he was finished.
Ironically she was grateful when he touched her hip later than night. She was scrubbing the walls and he guided her aside to get to the refrigerator still without words.
When he got up for his second beer she swallowed her fears and leaned into his touch. She expected him to look at her and try at take it further like he always had before.
Instead he shoved her. Not hard. It caught her off guard and she stumbled a little on her heels.
"Carl?" she stammered in shock.
"Sorry" he mumbled without looking at her.
She was so madly in love with Will. She was sure of it when she stepped into the choir room and saw him bent over the piano.
"You came!" He was happy to see her and there were butterflies in her stomach.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world" she mewed back at him, taking a sit before the kids arrived.
"You're in for a treat. We're doing a full run through of our Regionals set-"
Puck and Lauren bounded in with an impossible level of noise.
"Hey Mr. Schue… I heard you and Miss. H got a little freaky on school grounds. Respect man, that is some fine woman!" Puck continued to banter and clumsily strum is guitar. Will could see nothing but Emma's eyes widen.
"It was… we kissed" he said sheepishly. Emma nodded. She had no right to be angry but she was, mainly with herself. The kids kept arriving and she suffered through the stagnant rehearsal avoiding Will's questioning glances and leaving before he had the chance to get her alone and explain.
In her car alone she took a deep breath and prepared herself. It was time to give Carl what he wanted.
