My hope for them to light some fireworks is like my hope of you loving me back.
It will be New Year in a couple of hours and here we are having the time of our life sitting on a grass under a big tree. Just by a few meters is the place we temporarily live in. We have to rest on a run-down shack again, thanks to a moronic sex-deprived named Mugen and to this idiotic mute ronin named Jin, leaning back on a tree just being the typical him. Not only these two made no money, they even managed to make me lose my job by having a trash-down with a bunch of rough and tough male customers at the teashop where I was working. The fight was started by, you guess it, Mugen. Think his laziness got into him and just decided to pick up a fight and collect the money of the people that they beat up into pulp. Such a barbaric man like they what people say but I don't have much of a problem in his attitude now that I got used to it.
On the other hand, Jin joined him with no hestitation. They really trashed down the teahouse, making everyone running out of the establishment scared and screaming. After Mugen mugged the men that is when the horror happened, he called me by my name and the owner got furious that the two men who destroyed his shop are friends of mine. So here we are, celebrating the upcoming New Year with no money in our pockets. The only good thing that happened today is that the owner's son manage to get some money from his father and gave it to me, atleast it was enough to get us some food but not enough for lodgings. I sigh.
This suck
To add some insult to injury, Mugen used all of the money he mugged to celebrate New Year's eve in a big ass whorehouse and now he lays there on the grass, snoring loudly and reeks of booze. I swear to god, if I had the chances, I could hit the both of them right now. However, I know that even though they looked like relax and sleeping, their guards are up and ready to strike down their foes with one swift slash of their katanas. Although that they are extremely unreliable of making some money for us, they really are great at fighting but not being a bodyguard. Is fighting the only thing that is in their brains?
Before that separation at the crossroads, they swore not to kill each other but taking out the fact that both of their swords are broken and cannot fight without one, I know and they, themselves are aware that they become attached with one another, (not in a gay way) that they decided not to do it. Few months after, we just magically reunited albeit the reason why or where we are traveling together again is still unknown. I don't even know why I am still with these two jerks. Nevertheless, it's just feels right and I because I'm attached with the both of them, especially to Jin. It was Jin and I who first started this whole new journey then Mugen came last.
At first it was just some sort of infatuation, an admiration. I really look up to him he's great at fighting, with words, has good looks and damn even his hair is much prettier than mine that it is making me jealous. There were some point where I want to cut his hair and shave his head until it shines, just like a monk's head because of this jealousy. Heck, he even looked more beautiful than I when he dressed as a woman that one time but he sucks at playing the shamisen though.
That infatuation dissapeared when Jin had fallen in love with Shino and became a love sick puppy. Shino is another lady that I really call beautiful. She's a nice lady and has gentle look, it was a shame when her husband was treating her so bad and made her work on a brothel to pay off her husband's debt. He does not know how lucky he is that he married a such woman with both good looks, attitude and devotion to him. That is when Jin met her and helped her out of love. I'm really glad that he did not go with her at that time, he did give her a promise that he will come back for her though. However, when Jin and I stumble each other at the temple where she used to live at, from what I heard Shino died because of an uncurable illness. I didn't pry Jin much about, it his personal business. Since then, both us walk on roads with no real direction.
Who knew that Jin goes to brothels? From our past journey, he is always got dragged by Mugen to go to that kind if places. Mugen always said that Jin is a queer. Seriously?
Just by looking at his usual sleeping posture, I can see how lonely he is and how he misses Shino and seeing him like this makes me sad. I envy Shino, she managed to be so close with Jin while me, no. Even though I know their most painful past, even though we are like a family, there is still a huge barrier that surrounds them that is keeping me outside their boundaries. I just wish that their New Year's resolution is to break down that barriers and let me inside but I'm fully aware that is too much to ask, even the God that my father worships will say the same to me because in the end, it's there own damn decision.
Noises from the town reach at the place we are at, telling me that midnight will strike soon. I hope they have fireworks to light up this year, if so, this will be my second time to see the fireworks. My first one was with the ones we saw in Edo. They are so beautiful, different colors bursting at the dark sky, fireworks astounds me. Maybe it is a good thing that we are here at the plains to see the Fireworks Show, if they ever have one.
"Hey Jin. Do you think that they will light up some fireworks?" I ask him while walking up to him. That town is small yet they are lively when we went there earlier so the possibility for them to light some fireworks is kind of low.
I know he is not asleep anymore, he can't fool me anymore. Being with these two assholes who wakes up with a slight move of your muscle. Damn, how did they develope their keen sense of hearing. All that I developed this whole time is how to use the tanto that my father left me properly. Although it will be great if I can develop my body into something that will make men bow down before me and drool over me, well not literally.
"Hnn"
Typical...
Pouting at him, I sit beside Jin and hug my knees in the process. Why is it that we are so close yet he is far away from mine? That infatuation that disappeared came back to me but it was more than that. It so bizzare that I don't even know the reason why I became so in love with him. I try to hide it from the him, no need to hide it from Mugen, he is so oblivious when it comes to this. Thank God that it wasn't awkward whenever Jin and I talk, or else he will know.
"Hey Jin." he grunts, "What is it like to be in love and to be loved back?
"A blissful thing?"
What's with the question mark?
Ok next question, "How about to be in love but not to be loved back?" Stupid thing to question, I know.
"Painful."
Whoah, he is quick to answer that. Much more to my surprised, that one does not have a question mark at the end of his statement but why would he answer that so straight forward? Doesn't Shino loves him too? I know she does, even in her death, Shino will continue to love him whereever she are now.
I look at him. I am pretty sure that Shino returned his love. Maybe it was because of the fact that she did not let him to go with her that time and she died even before Jin could ever see her again and they could say good bye to each other. However, considering how much Jin loves Shino, he could not bare to say goodbye to her that easy, even though her illness cannot be undone, he will find a cure for it, even if it means searching and traveling at the ends of the earth. Why do I know this? Because that is what I am going to do if I could have noticed my mother's sickness much earlier.
"Jin, whereever Shino is at now or what she did the first time she left you, do not ever think that she did not loved you back. I am sure of it, the way she looked at your eyes back then, it was full of love and pain it hurts her to let you go like that. You should know that of all people."
He finally raises his head and looks at me in the eye, "Who said that I was talking about Shino?"
"Eh? Don't tell me you have fallen in love with a woman that is like Shino, because if you do, stop it before one of you got hurt or worst, the both of you." I scold him, not breaking an eye contact.
Jin just look straight at the dark sky, "She's not like Shino, she is a lot different than her. Shino is irreplacable in my heart but it's the same to the one I love now."
That is right, afterall there is always a room in a person's heart for many people to be in. Does that mean that I have a room in his heart too? It doesn't hurt to hope a little.
"And besides she wasn't a woman to begin with... well not yet."
My eyes widen. The wind blows and at the distance we can hear lots of people counting down starting from ten.
"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
As they scream 'Happy New Year', I look out to sky and rests both of my hand on the grass. Multiples of fireworks are lit and shoot out to the air, exploding and decorating the dark blue sky with different kind of colors; blue, red, green, pink, yellow and orange. Even just for a day, the fireworks has surpassed the beauty of the stars that rest easy at the skies above. Fireworks truly are magnificent.
Someday, along this whole new year, I will convey my feelings for him once and for all! This is my New Year's Resolution!
When the one of the fireworks exploded in the sky again, I felt something warm on top of my hand. Smiling at myself with my cheeks glowing red, I held his hand back, linking my fingers in between of his. Jin look at me and shorten the distance between our face but right before something happen Mugen snored so loudly. Jerk.
We look at each other and I give him a little smile which he returns back. The two of us continue to enjoy watching the fireworks with my fingers link in between his, along with Mugen who is being a dickwad by pretending to sleep on the grass but secretly enjoying the fireworks too.
I guess that I immediately fulfilled my New Year's resolution that early this year!
Smooch...
I have rose from the dead to give you this new FuuJin one-shot. Actually, I originally written this after I've finished writing with my other FuuJin oneshot "Firefly" to make a series of one-shot with the 'Fire+word' title or vice verse but the stories are not interconnected. I'm sorry if Jin in this one-shot is a bit, if not- a lot, OOC and that I put a new year's countdown, I think countdowns in new year and new year's resolution do not exist in their time but I needed to put it because the plot demands me to. That's all, I hope you enjoyed reading this.
Peace~!
雨
