Odd thoughts happen during winter break :). I got around to thinking---If season 5 of XME had happened, Bobby probably would've become an "official" X-Man. Here's one way it could have played out--in Bobby's POV. It's not structured as rigidly as a typical story---in fact, its quite rambly because...well, that's how thoughts are. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: There need to be more New Recruit fics. I blame this on their lack of TV exposure. If I owned XME, I'd make Sam star.
"Like, smile!"
That's what Kitty told all of us"New" Recruits (even though Logan---yes, I have the audacity to call him Logan---is always saying that our shenanigans are getting old, real fast) to do. The Professor wanted our little mutant safe-zone to seem a little more like an "Institute". That meant taking "class photos" of us every year, the A-Squad and us New Recruits, individual headshots of all the instructors, and then a formal picture of the whole frickin' group. Not that it mattered, we were all screwed anyway when it came to the real world---pictures would do little to add to our credibility.
But the old man insisted. So Kitty stood that day with camera in one hand, impatiently shepherding us all so we'd fit in the same frame with the other hand. Once she'd moved us around to her liking, she got all perky and told us to smile. So smile we did. I pasted on my "default Bobby" grin.
We each got a copy of the photo, in a cheap plasticky frame. Sam and Jamie put their copies up on their respective shelves, Sam because he was nice and loved everyone and Jamie because he was thrilled to be a part of an official team. I think Roberto put his in a photo album, and I'm not sure if Ray knows where his picture is anymore. Amara refused to even look at her copy (or any other) after the first time because she thought she looked "disgusting". I've looked at that photo a million times, and in all fairness, Amara looks nothing close to "disgusting". She must not be used to looking at herself smile. Its genuine, not that "Princess Countenance" thing she used to do, solemn like her first pictures with us.
I try to keep my photo on my desk, but the truth is, its usually in my hands, because I can't stop looking at it when I'm in my room. I think its perfect.
So, we're all in front of the X Jet. Sam, Rob and Ray are in the back row standing, and its kind of funny because first there's Sam who looks like some gawky Jolly Blond Spandex Giant. He's trying to look fierce because Ray told him to… but fails and ends up smiling shy. And then next to Sam there's Roberto who's at least six inches shorter and has his "ooh, look at me I'm Roberto DaCosta and I drip Hotness and Sex" face on. Slightly taller on Rob's other side, Ray's just looking like he could care less, but someone should tell that to his right arm, which snakes behind Roberto and pulls him in close, revealing just how close they've gotten, how close we've all gotten. Amara and Jamie kneel in the row below, arms around each other, Jamie all adorable and grinning like a maniac, and the Princess holding him protectively.
…And then there's me. Front and center. I wanted to sprawl myself out along the length of the first row, and it took a lot of whining for me to get my way (Kitty wanted "criss-cross, applesauce"…yes, those were her words). I have the goofiest expression on my face, and my hand frames it, shamelessly propped up by my elbow. Despite all of our differences, we are united in this picture, rebel boy and sexy foreigner, princess and hick and annoying little kid. I round us all out. I am their leader in this picture, their poster boy. It's the best picture we have.
I should have known that it wouldn't last. Not that the happiness in that picture was even all real---but we fake it for pictures, right? I remember being a little disappointed when Kitty took that picture. OK, I was pissed. We had just beat out Apoca-freakin'-lypse, we had saved the world. Hadn't I proved myself? I'd been saying it for months---I'm practically an X-Man. Its not that I hated my teammates, I loved them…but… I was a jerk and thought…knew…that I was made for bigger and better things than the New Recruits and their lame uniforms and pointless training exercises. The older kids couldn't deny it either, even Scott had admitted my usefulness on missions. They just wouldn't put me where I thought I belonged. So I figured it wasn't gonna happen when I got called in for the group picture, they were making my lack of promotion official via photo documentation. But I still pasted on that ridiculous grin, through all seven of Kitty's attempts to take a picture that looked formal, and I looked so perfectly in place with this group that it seemed like destiny, even though I tried to separate myself from the others by making my own row.
And then things got interesting. While we stretched out of our poses, Professor X rolled in all amused and omniscient and bald and said that our team should function more like the main group. Evidently Logan and Storm and Mr. McCoy and himself had observed us all for months and had chosen a field leader among us.
I guessed it was a small consolation prize for me---maybe they wanted to see if I could handle officially being a leader before they pulled me up. I could wait another year, or maybe it was less. The Professor had said that any adjustments to either team would be made "on a semester-by-semester basis"…. so that meant things could change by winter.
I moved so that I was standing slightly in front of everyone else, assumed leader position---it was natural, I guess. I did it without thinking. Besides, its not like anyone else complained. They all followed my lead without even realizing it. I was trying to rehearse the surprised face I'd make when they told me I was field leader, when something happened that actually made my jaw drop.
Logan walked slowly, deliberately, towards us---and then past me. I wasn't quite sure what was going on, but by the time I turned around to face the rest of my team, Wolverine had strode over to the cluster behind me, voicing his congratulations and shaking an awestruck Sam's hand. No one on our team, not even Sam, bothered to hide their surprise. Was this a joke?
"Mr. Logan?" whispered my best friend, looking positively floored.
"Don't look so surprised, kid" growled Logan, but he looked amused. And Sam looked at me…apologetically? For help? Appraisal? What the heck was I supposed to do? He was leader now.
The rest of the team adjusted quickly to the new administration, mimicking their new boss---all eyes were on me. I did what a real leader would do, I pasted on that smile, cocky and ever-present on my face according to Scott and everyone else. It covered the disbelief I felt. I congratulated Sam, walked right over and reached to get my hand up on his shoulder. And, get this, everyone else followed my lead, what did that say about my leadership skills? Anyway, it looked a little more celebratory as Amara stepped up onto Sam's boots so she could pull him down and kiss his cheek on tiptoe. Handshakes and congratulations went around---but the air of confusion remained. Jamie stared blatantly at me, and then looked back at Sam. I wasn't sure what was going through his head, but I think he sensed everyone's shock. The munchkin's pretty smart, you know.
I smiled encouragingly at Sam---a real leader wouldn't be bummed about this---being robbed of the obvious. In fact, I was more worried than pissed at this point---would anyone actually listen to Sam? The kid looked like he might hurl after everyone left---leaders weren't supposed to display their chicken moments to everyone else like that. Maybe I'd give him a few pointers later on. I would not be taking orders from a crappy leader.
Scott walked over and started talking about changes, new leaders, blah, blah, blah. I wasn't keeping track of what he was saying---not like it applied to me. And then, all eyes were on me again, as Scott walked over towards me…was he smiling? I felt his large hand enclose my slack one into a firm handshake---wait, what was going on?
I slowly registered the tail end of Scott's speech, and when he said "Bobby Drake, welcome to our team", all I could manage was a small "oh."
The noise that followed was absurd---you'd think I'd won the presidency of our mutant-loathing country. The instructors and older kids clapped and looked amused, but Sam and Jamie and Roberto and Amara had all cheered and rushed to hug me (Ray clapped me on the back---which was just as good---he's not a three-cheers-for-you type of dude). God I loved them, my team…my former team.
Sam, being Sam, asked why I'd taken my picture with him and the others if I was gonna be promoted the same day. This was a legit question, but for some reason it…bugged me. Did he not want me around? But Scott grinned and said that it was a trial run. Not that I couldn't handle it---but if I got sick of it over the course of the following two weeks, I could crawl right back to the beginning. Well, that just pissed me off. I'd been working my butt off for almost 2 years for this---I was not going to wimp out. It was what I'd always wanted…wasn't it?
And all of a sudden, Sam stepped into his leader shoes, and looked Scott square in the eye. There wasn't much of a height difference, but Scott was twice as wide. And the idea of Sam marching up to Mr. Leader (the Original) himself was…absurd.
"Ah think Bobby's gonna be just fahne"
Scott cocked an eyebrow and grinned at Sam's newfound bravery---or maybe at his accent--- I still occasionally made fun of him for that.
"I'm glad they picked you kid" rolled off Scott's tongue easily.
As people began to file out I made to lead my group out, when Scott stopped me and smiled.
"Extra training session starts now."
Oh, right. I was playing with the big boys now.
I shouldn't have worked so damn hard. I should have faked it and cried, begging for Sam and the others to take me back. But none of us are criers anymore---I worked my butt off, sailed through the trial period and made it onto that team, just like I'd always wanted.
Predictably, things aren't the same anymore. Ray and the rest of them won't even look at me---maybe I had it coming, what with all my talk of becoming a full-fledged X-Man. Ray called me stupid, said I could've just stayed on the recruit team and get called out to every mission the X Men went on anyway. But he also said that they were all better off without me, and that Sam's a great leader now that I'm not around to make him nervous anymore. Whatever. He probably had some nascent skills all along, what with being the nurturing big brother and man of his house. I'm just a grunt with the X Men, following unquestioningly whatever Scott or Jean or whoever says. I'm the baby, and Scott's not going to retire until he's 80, so I have no chance at all that stupid glory I was always after for some reason.
So all I've got left is this photo. The photo of me and the team I wish I were on. The picture I've been fixated on for the past couple of months, because it proves…well it proves that things were good for me once---that I belonged somewhere once. Tomorrow they're taking updated pictures of the team, on account of Jubes and Rahne coming back a few weeks before. Chances are that Roberto and Ray will fight over who gets to hold which girl, but I won't even be a part of that photo.
I get to be in the other photo. With the A-Team. The "big kids", as Jamie used to foolishly call them before our teasing tore him apart. And Scott will stand heroically, and Jean will look sexy and intimidating splayed across his bicep, and Kurt will have his arms around two of his favorite girls, his sister and his best friend. I don't know where I'll stand---or sit---in this photo, but I'm not sure I can muster the same cocky grin I've always pasted on my face. Not this time.
Thanks for reading! Please review?
