DéJA-VU
I woke with a jolt from a sleep I had never meant to have. My head throbbed viciously in time with my racing heartbeat. Cold stone was smooth against my burning cheek and when I opened my eyes, everything was black. Darkness engulfed me, taking my life in its clutches. I allowed a growl to escape from my vocal chords and the recurring echo was unimaginably loud. My voice reverberated around me in the claustrophobic space and ended in deafening silence. Trying to remember what had happened, I let my head slump against the rock wall behind me.
In my mind, images began to form. I could see my father, drunk and with bloodshot eyes towering over me, a horsewhip in his hand, my younger brother smirking evilly next to him, arms folded casually across his chest. Then the whip coming for me, slicing the air as easily as if it were a bird of prey, and pain suddenly exploding in my face, blood hot on my cheek.
Another series of images sprung to mind, less clear, seen and felt through waves of pain. Me grabbing a bag and stuffing it with food, money and a bundle of clothes, jumping from the tiny bedroom window, spraining my ankle in the process and limping away into the dark. Then, suddenly, a shadow from nowhere punches me. I fall to the ground and drift out of consciousness.
A rhythmic dripping brought me back to the present, and somehow, my eyes had adjusted to the dark and I could make out rock formations around me. With a sudden pang I realised where I was: the Wolverine Cave, about five hundred yards away from my home. Heat seemed to flee from me, leaving only some more evil memories. This time it was an image of my brother's face. I could see his chalky white skin, the pallor of the newly drowned; a sneering grin planted on his already severely distorted face, making it seem less human. Red eyes, glaring at me with the awesome heat and hatred of a blazing fire, killing all in its path. I gave an involuntary shiver and fell out of wakefulness.
When I woke again I could smell a salty sweetness in the swirling air around me, blood oozing from my wrists and ankles where they had been constricted – cruelly tight – with unsoft leather coils of rope. The pain that had seared through me before was gone, replaced by a dull numbness, throbbing softly. I tried to find a way to defy the vice-like grip the ropes had on me, in vain. Clumsily, I called out into the darkness, waiting out a response to my plea. Nothing. Only the walls seemed to live, giving off an unclean heat. Recognition dawned on me: the sun was offering its final tribute to the world right now, slowly dying away into the hungry clutches of the horizon. The heat lessened, replaced by the cold sweat chilling my skin. I sighed hopelessly. What in the name of this cave was I going to do?
It must have been around midnight when I had finally broken the ropes around my wrists by friction, sometime scraping my hand on the smooth surface of rock, the cloying walls forever closing in on me. Blood flushed back into my hands, bringing back feeling as well as pain. I had had to clench my jaw and bite my tongue in order not to yell out in agony. In a deep corner of my mind, I fancied hearing my brother's irritating, still high-pitched voice, the smile in it too obvious to miss, his blood-red eyes maliciously half-closed as he cackled, "You shall not prevail." What did that mean? Was I going to die?
After having detached the ropes around my ankles and rubbing feeling back into them, I hobbled to my right, following the sparse light shining through the crudely made screen of a few sticks and a small piece of rope which held the branches together. I closed my eyes as I removed the screen and took a tentative step forward. Then I opened my eyes to a frozen world of pure white.
The cold was like a punch in the chest after the stuffy warmth in the Wolverine Cave. The only light was the faint glow of the waxing moon, shining high above me. I skittered down the small ledge of Wolverine Cave into the pure white snow. The land stretched on forever, and on the horizon, I could see my house. I was too elated to be scared of what would greet me there so, without another backward glance to the cave, I set off through the white land, running and punching the air through the five hundred yards of snow.
I stood at the front door, my hand ready to knock and be welcomed home, maybe even by my brother. It was wishful thinking, but who knew? Things change. People change as well. Just as I was about to rap my knuckles against the heavy wooden door, it burst open, and I saw a great shadow fall across. There was no time to look up; the great hands had already seized me, dragging me to the whip. It cracked against my skin, time and time again until I fell out of consciousness.
When I woke up I could already feel the numbness spreading through my limbs, the wall cold against my back. And I opened my eyes to darkness.
