Sick and Twisted

Chapter One - Blood

The razor sliced across her skin cleanly, and Lucy smiled to herself as the blood welled up, spilling out of the cut like water pouring out of a glass. So simple, so easy. She studied her pale arms in the light of the bathroom lamp above. Her pale skin was marred with cuts and scars, some silver and fading, evidence of how long she'd been doing this. Others bright, ugly, and new, evidence that she wasn't strong enough to quit. She watched as the blood slowly dribbled down her arm and dropped into the water.

She'd become accustomed to the feeling of the cold blade on her skin, cutting herself open as if she were both the surgeon and the patient. She even welcomed it, the physical pain took away from the emotional pain. It had become a habit now, even if she wanted to stop, there was no way she could. She got the urge to cut whenever she saw anything that even resembled a razor; a kitchen knife, a sword, etc.

She drew the blade across her skin again, just above the first cut and watched as the blood from the two wounds mixed. Then a third cut and a fourth and fifth. And finally a sixth, just because it felt good. It was an addiction, a dangerous one at that. Lucy had to remember to pace herself, to many cuts at once could lead to a potentially lethal amount of blood loss. She sunk down farther into the tub, letting the water wash her cuts out. She watched as the blood floated in a foggy dance through the water, giving the appearance that the bath water was red.

Lucy put a hand on the wall to steady herself as she rose out of the water. Be careful, she reminded herself. She usually became dizzy after cutting, especially if it was any more than four cuts. She poked the skin around the first one, attempting to estimate the healing time. Maybe a week if she was lucky. The cuts usually weren't deep, these ones were no exception. Each was just enough to break a couple layers of skin. The deepness of her cuts usually depended on the deepness of her pain. Today she didn't feel too offle, but she figured she'd better put the razor away and get dressed before Natsu showed up.

She dropped the razor into the drawer she'd left open and quickly slammed it shut. She dressed quickly. Jeans and a long sleeved blue top.

"Clothing covers the cuts, a brave face covers the pain, and a bunch of lies cover the truth." That was her saying. Maybe she said it because she didn't want to get caught, maybe she said it because she too deep down to be pulled out, or maybe she said it because she wanted someone to care. Either way, it helped Lucy in ways she didn't understand. It helped her continue the self harm, the nasty looks she gave herself in the mirror, the way she would hear this voice sometimes mocking her and instantly knew it was just herself.

"Lucy!" Natsu's voice traveled through the open window and in the blink of an eye he was there, perched on the windowsill like a little cat, waiting for attention. Happy climbed through behind him, grumbling about how long it took to get from the guild to Lucy's apartment, which only strengthened her beliefs that Happy actually didn't like Lucy too much.

"Oh, hey Natsu. Hi Happy." She caught sight of the mirror across the room, noticing the way her sleeve had slipped up revealing one of her most recent cuts. She quickly pulled it down, frowning because she'd forgotten to bandage it. "I'll be right there, just have to use the bathroom."

She slipped into the bathroom and closed the door behind her quickly. Pulling her sleeve up, she examined the cut. It was still slightly fresh and need something to cover it that wasn't Lucy's sleeve. She dug through her medicine cabinet, looking for bandages. Had she really been dense enough to forget to buy more? Apparently. A crappy hello kitty bandaid would have to do for now, because that was all she had. As she unwrapped it, she sighed at the years of scarring that ran up and down her arms. Cutting was like a one night stand, it was only fun in the act. But afterwards all you felt was shame.

So why did she do it? The cutting…? It was because she was a sick and twisted person with sick and twisted needs.

Okay, hate me all you want I promise it gets better. This is probably the lowest low point for Lucy (maybe). But no worries, Natsu's always there to save the day (and his awesome side kick Happy). Plenty of NaLu on the way, so hang tight you guys. And I just have to say, if you're a Lisanna fan, don't worry it's not a Lisanna hate fic. I happen to love Lisanna, just not with Natsu. Like I said, hang tight, it gets better.

-Ava