How to annoy Durza:

1. Say that his hair is just a really dark color of pink

2. Claim that he has a major crush on Arya and that was why he didn't kill her

3. Say that he is mad at Eragon because Arya likes him better

4. Be sure to mention his slow changing appearance in the movie

5. Especially the battle scene where he majorally needed chapstick and hair spray

6. Tell him he needs to get out of the dungeons more often….or people will think he is a ghost

7. Constantly call him the "King's Pet"

8. Make fun of his girly glitter robe

9. Claim that he bought it at a discount price

20. Then run for your life

21. Tell him that Murtagh is the King's "new" right hand man and that he is sooo "last century"

22. Be sure to mention that he was stupid enough to fall for Eragon's fake "true" name

23. Tell the Ra'zac about his fear of the dark

24. Then laugh and run

25. Be sure to mention that the King's "Top warrior" had his butt kicked by a "little bitty farm boy"