Warnings - the whole story is during II World War, so there will be some mentions of nazi - ideas, which I don't support and the image of Germany, Prussia and fem!Austria, which are not mine, are made only for this story.

Chapter one.


„Nnno, I will not beat you." Ludwig hissed through his teeth ( and German always sounds like a bark).

Sophie's cabinet sank in the dark, but it was a good darkness. Quiet and warm. Graphite. Interspersed with scattered orange rays. It enfolded soft chair and furniture with rounded edges. As in the cozy house, not like in the border military camp.

BANG – and again, rusty red glow lit up the horizon outside the window. Bombing. Her eyes flashed purple from the glow. Sophie looked down and slowly let the air out. Her heart was pounding, painfully, constantly ("Did he hear it…?". She thought and the body quivered almost convulsively.)

On the countertop in the colour of a cinnamon, on the desk among the silver plated fountain pens were scattered photographs of fair – haired, smooth combed man. They were, of course, black and white (we have 1942). Sometimes blurred. Sophie, when she found them in the archive, long looked before she understood.

Photos of the interrogations. Photos of the interrogations which were conducted by Ludwig.

Several pictures with a whip, a few with a dagger.

Ludwig was licking his fingers (and it had to be blood, red blood is seen even in black and white photographs.). Ludwig was smiling at least disturbing.

Sophie never seen him so beautiful.

In several pictures she could see interrogated. They were once human beings. But when you were looking on it, you could have doubts. Looking at Ludwig – no doubt.

"Űbermench" Thought Sophie.

Photo fall on the desk from her hand. After all they all fall. She stared at them and her eyes grew bigger, bigger, bigger and her mouth narrower, narrower, narrower. A skin began to burn.

Sophie did not like war, Sophie played the piano ( "Talented survive" Her grandmother repeated often.) And when she played Strauss' waltz even Fűhrer listened. Wehrmacht soldiers grumbled, but never too loud, not to drown out the melody.

The waltz passed, moved by their lips, their ears and necks, banging in military orders which answered him with quiet knock.

"Sehr gut" Fűhrer said and he sent acknowledgment by trusted colleagues.

Exceptionally strong handshake – Sophie groaned softly. Whispered "sorry" and blue but burning eyes. The face that was embarrassed by its own serious. Ludwig.

And then for many months, in a room full of people, in the operas, the theatres, the openings Sophie played for Ludwig. Because she did not know how to write other letters.

Her fingers glided over the keys and the word suddenly became like those keys, black and white.

The war.

"I must find him." Heart pounded and lungs run out of air.

He quickly advanced. Fűhrer recommendation.

But that was not Sophie who found Ludwig, it was him who found her.

"Do you remember me?" He asked abruptly (perhaps to hide the tremble in his voice).

"Of course!" She said with a smile (Ludwig should hug her tightly and oh…).

But Ludwigs' eyes narrowed into blue crystals. Ludwig had responsibilities, obligations of a state! And it was nothing that Sophie's gaze gravitated more. And Sophie was proud. To time.

Forgetfulness is a great art, especially when you didn't forget, when you couldn't forget.

First time – they were pretending that it was by accident. Sophie pretended that she drank wine. Ludwig pretended that he drank wine. ("Das Rheingold" Bitter and bad)

First time was embarrassing and strange.

"We will determine terms." Ludwig tossed casually. "Twice a week, something like that."

And Sophie tried not to smile in a silly, naïve, sudden and unexpected happiness.

She did not know Ludwig. She knew about it. She knew about it, too well.

Sometimes Ludwig was violent, but for Sophie was good. He was awkward, warm and good. He had the rough soldiers' hands and when he touched her, he tried not to leave bruises.

But Sophie felt Ludwigs' hands. And she knew they were lying.

These photos, this was the missing piece in the puzzle.

"You are different than you are trying to be." She whispered, almost mockingly, like naughty child. ( satisfaction ) She hoped that Ludwig hit her.

Ludwig predicted that.

[The war is all around us, you are so delicate, I have to protect you, you can't deny it, I know it.]

(You do not know me, you are too afraid.)

[I have to protect you.

I must protect you.

I must protect you

From myself.]

( I love you, you don't believe me.)

"Nnno, I will not beat you." Ludwig hissed through his teeth.

And he didn't know how much he was wrong