Chapter One
The room was undecorated and cold, she sat with her legs up on a bench as she leaned her head against the wall, this had to be by far the worst night ever in her teenage life.
She had been awoken to alot of commotion and loud voices, at first she had thought she was dreaming but then she heard shouting, from her mother Roxy to be exact and now she had sat straight up in bed just as her bedroom door got swung open..
"what the hell" she yelled as she sat there and then the blaring light of a flashlight went into her eyes..
"we got another one over here" the man holding the flash light said as she used her hand to cover her face from the blinding light.."its gonna be ok" he said as he came over to her..
So now she sat in this room, it didnt even have a tv or any sort of comfort device, it was just four walls and a table with some chairs and the bench across the room in which she sat on now.
Her mother had been arrested for drug trafficking, and now her fate was in this room until someone claimed her before the state did, and right about now she was praying for the state but the familiar male voice outside the door alerted her to another fate and she seriously wanted to die, not him, not her father..
"is my daughter in there" he barked out and she hung her head, this was just great, dear old dad to the rescue! The door opened in a hurry and she glanced up and there he was.."oh thank god your ok" he said as he came over and pulled her into his arms.."I came as soon as i heard" he said sympathetically as she stood there, unmoving, devoid of emotion for this man who was her father."let me look at you, no one hurt you, right?" he said as he looked her over and she finally had enough as she moved herself back..
"Im fine" she said as she stared at the ground at her converse sneakers..This is what she had dreaded the most and for the last four hours or so she had hoped he wouldnt come, i mean hell he barely came any other time but aparently he had a change of conscience now..
Natalie had been living with her mother, the woman in question, aka Roxy Balsam. She had lived with said mother for the last seventeen years, her parents had divorced when she was barely tall enough to walk.
The man who looking at her now with worried and confused eyes was her father, Clint Buchanan, he had remarried shortly after her parents divorced and he inherited two children from his new marriage to a woman named victoria, a boy and a girl, both of whom Natalie barely knew.
Her father used to visit regularly when she was younger, hell she remembered when she couldnt wait to see him, he would take her from the city and out into the country where she would spend what seemed like an endless summer, she would play with her step siblings and life almost seemed normal but then she was heading back to AC, back to the mother who was never around, back to the life that she had wanted to run from for so many years..
But as she got older her fathers trips became less and less and by the time she was thirteen the only time she spoke to him was over the phone and she just knew that he had wanted to erase her from his life, she was the child he never wanted to have, he had a new family now, a family that aparently meant more to him then she had ever did, even if his other children werent even of his gentic calling..
But here he stood now, he looked older than she had remembered him, his hair greying, his stature just as big, if not bigger and a look of concern on his face, she wasnt his little girl anymore, she was damn near eighteen soon and she was suppose to be spending her senior in high school with her friends, but that was about to change drastically..
"Roxy better hope i dont see her" he said angrily as he looked at her..Ok so Roxy wasnt the best mother in the world but she did what she could and hell atleast she didnt leave her like he had. So what if she was an alcoholic and weekend drug addict, that was her mother like it or not.."come on were going" he said as he turned from her..
"going? Where?" she finally spoke up as she looked at the man that she once called father..
He stopped and turned, looking at her he said.."home, in Pennsylvania"
Her eyes got wide as she stood there, she must of heard him wrong.."what? no... im graduating this year" she said in shock..
"and you still will be, but in lanview" he sighed as she tried to understand what he was saying.."Listen Natalie, i just drove almost four hours to get here" he began..
"Im not going to lanview" she said quickly as she looked at him and backed up..
"You have no choice, do you want to see what the state will do with you" he was pissed as he stood there but she didnt care, she wasnt about to go to pennsylvania with him, he was out of his mind..
"I dont care, im not going, my friends are here, my stuff" she said as she backed up more..
"You'll get new friends and you will get new stuff" he snapped at her..
"No" she said as tears began to fill her eyes as much as she tried to fight them, she was not going to leave her life here to live in some hickville out in the middle of no where..
"I am your father like it or not" he snapped at her as he walked over..
"dont touch me" she yelled at him but he grabbed her forearm and pulled her over to him..
"I am not like your mother and you will treat me with respect, understand" he said angrily at her, she had never ever been treated like this by anyone, not even her mother.."Now get your ass in the car, were leaving" he said as he pulled her along side of him and she was shocked, completely shocked..
Natalie sat quietly with tears in her eyes from the backseat as he mumbled about Roxy and something about wanting to kill her, and natalie couldnt help the silent tears that fell as she watched the city she grew up in, the city that she loved move past her and big building turned into green pastures, her life was officially over, she hadnt even gotten to say goodbye to her friends, she wanted to die..
She must of fallen asleep cause the next thing she heard was the sound of his voice from the front seat of the suv.."Natalie... sweetheart, were almost there" he began as her eyes opened some and she looked out the windows, it literally looked like farm country and the feeling she had when she had first fell asleep came back full blast, this wasnt a dream, this was a nightmare!
She thought about her bedroom and everything left behind, she thought about the look on her best friend Maria's face when she found out that she was indeed gone and then what about Billy, they had just begun dating, what would he think of her now, would she even see him again..
"You will love it here" he began as he looked at her through the rearview mirror..She couldnt stand the sight of him as she looked away and stared out the window.."things will get better i promise" he said softly and she couldnt see how, he had come in and torn her from the life she loved and now he was forcing her to live in this god forsaken place, she hated him, she hated him with everything she had in her!
He pulled up to a very large victorian style house, the last time she had been there she had been maybe six years old, it was like dejavu being there all over again as she stared out the window..
It was right after her father had remarried a woman named Victoria, she had already had two children of her own, John who was two years older then her and Jessica who was nearly the same age.
They had all been playing hide and seek in the back pasture and John was it. He was a scruffy looking boy, thin and with short brown hair, he had taught her how to skip rocks the other day on the lake and she liked him, he was alot nicer to her than Jessica was.
But now she hid by a nearby tree that had a small hole in the side of it, just big enough for her to crawl into , she was sure this would be the best hiding spot ever and so she waited.
The sound of crunching leaves made her tiny body fill with anticipation as she giggled a little but the next sound she heard filled her body with fear cause it was growling, loud growling mixed with the sound of some kind of animal, and now since she was only five at the time the best thing to do would of been to be quiet and wait it out but instead fear took over and she climbed from the inside of the tree and spun to run but instead she came face to face with a huge wolf's head, attatched to an even bigger body. The wolf had to be atleast four feet high and massive with black dark hair with white stripes and foam coming from its very large teeth and she screamed as loud as she could.
The next thing she felt was being pushed to the ground as she flew back and once she got her wits about her she began to scramble to her feet and then she saw it, John was there and he was standing right in front of the large wolf, she heard a loud growl and then the anmal took off running as she stood there absolutely shakened as John spun and looked at her..
"You ok Natty" he asked with concern as he ran over to her and she shook her head with tears streaming down her face.."dont you worry Natty, i wont ever let anything bad happen to you" he said as he hugged her and she believed him, she honestly believed him..
Natalie was snapped from her thoughts as the door opened and her father looked in.."were home" he said with a smile as she looked at him and he went to grab her bag and she grabbed it instead, he backed up out of the car so that she could get out..
The place looked the same as she remembered it all those years ago, the front door opened onto the large wrap around porch and she watched as Victoria stepped out and she smiled as she walked over. She definitley looked older but still just as beautiful as Natalie remembered her..
"Natalie, sweetheart look at how much you have grown" Victoria said as she came over and Natalie stood completley still as Victoria hugged her, this was all just to much for her right now.."Let me look at you" Victoria said as she pulled back..
"yeah were gonna have to do something about those clothes" her father began as Natalie looked at him..
"I like my clothes" Natalie said as she wraped her arms around her chest and stood there protectively..
Clint sighed heavily.."I need a drink" he said as he began to walk to the house..
Victoria looked back at her.."thats ok sweetie i like your clothes too, definitley stylish" she smiled softly and natalie fought the urge to smile back, she was suppose to hate it here and she was gonna make sure she did just that.
The house was absolutely magnificent inside, it resembled a museum with all antique furnishings, natalie hated to admit it but considering where she used to live this was like a hundred times better..
Victoria began to show her around as natalie kept quiet, it seemed no one else was home but them three and Natalie was grateful for that, she just wanted to be left alone even though part of her was wondering what Jessica and John had looked like now..
She remembered Jessica as a little girl with bright blonde hair, always dressed in designer dresses, she was a spoiled brat really and she whined alot and Natalie still never forgave her for the fight they had right after the game of hide and seek..
She had gone back to the house with John after all of her crying was over and done with, she had gone to clean up before dinner and jessica had been in her room and she was holding a picture that Natalie had of her and her father..
"hey gimme that, thats mine" a small Natalie yelled out as she ran into the room but jessica moved her hand up high and held onto the picture..
"he's my daddy now you know" Jessica said with a nasty look at Natalie..
"he was my daddy first" she snapped back at the small girl..
"Your daddy doesnt even like you, that why he always makes you go back, he said your mom is nothing but a whore" Jessica said with a laugh and natalie had had it, she lunged at jessica, hitting and scratching her where she could as the two girls fought and then it happened, Jessica ripped the picture in half and threw it at Natalie as she ran out of the room crying and yelling for her dad..
Natalie had picked up the picture and held the two halves, the sound of her father entering the room made her look up..
"is it true, did you hit Jessica" he yelled at her and her eyes got wide, she wasnt use to her dad yelling at her.."Did you!?" he yelled..
"But..but she started it"Natalie said defensively..
"we are not animals in this house, we dont behave that way" he yelled at her and then grabbed her arm..
"but daddy" she began to cry as he pulled her into the hall where a crying Jessica stood, she put on some act as she cried uncontrollably..John stood by his door peering out at her as her father forced her to apologize..
"No i wont, i hate her... I hate her" Natalie yelled as she stood there and her fathers face got red..
"Thats it, your going back to your mother in the morning" he yelled as Natalie ran to her room crying as she slammed the door.. She hated how he always took Jessicas side, always..
Natalie stood in the bedroom, her old bedroom that was now an newer version of what she remembered, her bed was a large canopy bed with a white sheer curtain around it, on the far side wall was a large dresser with an equally large mirror, seriously this room was sweet as hell and she tried to hide the smile of satisfaction from her face..
"take as much time as you need, i will finish up dinner" Victoria said as she left the room and Natalie finally smiled now as she looked around, this place was nice, like really nice, she quickly walked over to a door and opened it and much to her surprise it was her very own bathroom, she wanted to jump up and down with excitement but she didnt, this was a bad thing being here, she had to remember that. The only reason her father had come to get her is because he didnt want to tarnish his family name and Natalie knew that, all her and her mother ever were to him was embarassments and mistakes, natalie walked to the bed and sat on it as she felt the soft comforter..
The sound of a truck pulling up outside made her get up as she walked over to the large window and looked out, she watched as a long haired guy jumped out, he wore a tank top and faded blue jeans, she could make out some tattoos on his arms and then he glanced up at her window as he stopped walking and she quickly backed up and out of sight as her heart raced, who the hell was that? She peeked out the window again and he was gone, the truck was still there but he wasnt, she sighed as she walked back over to the mirror, well for now this would be home, like it or not..
The sound of knocking on her door made her jump as she stood there.."can i come in" an unfamiliar deep voice said as she stood there not moving and then the door opened and the same guy from outside was now standing her in door way. He looked even more amazing in person, the detail was breathtaking.. He had long dark hair that went past his shoulders, both arms had tattoos on them not to mention they were huge and muscular, the tank top and faded jeans were to die for as well as the black boots he wore.."Nat?" he said with his head cocked to the side and her eyes got a bit wide, how the hell did he know her name.."Holy shit it is you" he said with a grin as he came over to her and before she could protest he was lifting her and spinning her around as he gave her a big bear hug, to say she was completely confused would be an understatement.."You look so different" he said as he finally put her down and she looked at him with wide eyes, the recognition finally coming to her..
"John?" she said in shock as he grinned..
"in the flesh" he grinned and a smile came upon her face, holy shit this was John..
"Your big" she said in shock as she looked at him and he ran a large hand through his hair..
"I would hope so, id look kind of funny if i was still eight " he smirked.."i see your going for the goth look, very nice" He smiled and she blushed now..
Natalie fidgeted with her shirt some as she stood there.."I just like black" she said with a shake of her head..
"it looks good on you" he smiled as he stood there and then within seconds another person joined them, a tall very leggy blonde wearing a summer dress and a big smile..
"Nat?" she said with a grin..
"jessica" Natalie said in shock..Now she looked completely different..
"Oh my god it is you" Jessica said softly as she came over and surprisingly hugged her and natalie definitely wasnt expecting it as she looked at John who shrugged his massive shoulders.."You look amazing, and your hair, god i love it" jessica beamed and Natalie honestly felt like she was in the twilight zone or something..
"thanks" Natalie said nervously as she stood there..
"we'll catch up later" John said and then he was leaving as Jessica stood there..
"I cant belive your really here" jessica said with a smile..
"yeah um" Natalie began a bit uncomfortably..
"this is so cool i have missed not having you around" Jessica said again as she hugged her and Natalie stood shocked, was this the same girl who hated her when they were younger?.."Oh my gosh we have so much to catch up on" she said as she pulled back and looked at her..
"Ok" Natalie said quietly as she looked at the incredibly sweet looking girl, seriously this was Jess?
"come with me i have some people to introduce you to" Jessica said as she grabbed natalies hand and lead her across the hall and into another bedroom, there were three people in there, two guys and one girl and natalie nervously smiled, she never was good around people she didnt know.."Guys this is my step sister Natalie, Natalie this is Gigi, Cris and Brody" she said with a smile as she introduced them all..
"hey " Cris said with a smile, he had short cropped hair and wore a polo shirt and jeans, he looked like something out of an abercrombe ad..
"whats going on" Gigi said with a grin, she was equally dressed in black and her hair was completely multicolored, definitely someone Natalie could see herself hanging out with and then there was brody who was now holding hands with Jessica, apparently they were an item. He had a military cut hair do and wore a simple white button down shirt and black pants, he looked older then all of them..
"Nice to meet you" he said with a smile as Jessica kissed his cheek..
"well i have to go before my dad chews me a new one" Gigi said as she walked past natalie.."Later Nat"
"well wait up i will drive you home" Cris said quickly as he smiled at Natalie as he passed her.."see ya around" he grinned as jessica and Brody said their goodbyes..
"Im gonna go get something to drink" Natalie said a bit uncomfortably as she stood there with Jessica and Brody..
"Ok we will be down in a few" Jessica said with a smile and natalie walked quickly into the hall and took a deep breath..
"Too much to take in" she heard Johns voice and she turned to see him in the hall, she still couldnt believe that was him, he was for a lack of a better word, hot!"sorry about your mom" he said as he walked over and she swallowed hard..
"yeah, thanks" she said as she stared at her hands again..
"I have something for you, got a second?" he said as she stood there looking at him confused..
"something, for me?" she said with confusion..
"yeah" he said as he turned down the hall and she began following him.."i held onto something just in case you ever came back around" he said as he walked into a bedroom and she stopped at the door, it was his room.."You can come in, i dont bite" he grinned as he glanced at her and then proceeded on opening his top dresser drawer, she looked around his room, it was a nice room, very masculine with all nuetral colors..He turned and faced her as she held something in his hand.."here, this is yours" he said as he held something out to her..
Natalie took it cautiously and then her eyes got wide, it was the picture from all those years ago, the one of her and her father, the one Jessica had torn in half but now it was together again and held with a piece of tape..
"You left without it" he said as she stared at the picture and she couldnt help the tears that threatened to fall as she looked at it..This was all way too much.."hey i didnt mean to upset you" he began as he looked at her and she quickly wiped her eyes..
"im not upset..." she said softly.."thank you for giving me this" she said honestly as he smiled and shoved his hands in his pockets..They both stood there for another minute or so before Jessica interupted them as she walked in and natalie jumped some..
"Oh there you are" jessica said with a laugh.."Your not allowed to hog her all to yourself John" she laughed as she grabbed Natalie's hand and then dragged her out of the room as John stood there and just watched her..
Victoria had made a huge dinner which consisted of a large ham with all the fixings, it was enough to feed an army or two, jessica went on and on about how brody was on leave from the military and heading back next week, her father talked about retirement and all the golf he had been playing and John well he just sort of stared at her, he didnt say much and she tried not to look at him.
Everyone was being so nice and by the end of the dinner she couldnt help but smile as she said thank you to Victoria, she couldnt remember the last time she had had a home cooked meal...
"anytime sweetheart, your family" she said with a soft smile as she began to put dishes in the sink..Natalie began to help her as Jessica and brody went outside and her father and John went into the living room.."thank you sweetie, but you dont have to help"
"No i want to" natalie said honestly as she looked at this woman, she couldnt believe how much had changed over the years, not just with jess and John but with everyone, maybe it wouldnt be so bad being here..
After the last dish was in the sink and the table was cleared Victoria looked at natalie.."do you like horses?" she asked natalie whose eyes got wide..
"yeah sure, why" she said with a bit of confusion..
Victoria smiled big.."Jonathon" she called out as John came back into the room and Natalie looked at him, god she couldnt believe how beautiful he was.."why dont you go show Natalie the stables" she said with a smile as Natalies mouth got wide..
"stables? As in horses?" Natalie said as she looked at Victoria..
"Last time i checked there was four of them" John grinned..
"Horses, you have horses?" Natalie said in shock as she looked at Victoria and then John..
"come on I'll show you" he said with a grin and she couldn't help it, she was absolutely excited, they had horses, she had never even seen one up close and personal..
John led her out the back door which opened to a large green pasture thats she remembered but what was new was the large stable and barn house out in the far back.."I cant believe you have horses" she said in shock again as he glanced at her..
"trust me they are a lot of upkeep" he smiled as they walked.."Have you ever ridden?"
"a horse?"she said with wide eyes..
"well usually that's what you do with them" he smirked and she turned a bit red.."its fun" he said as they got closer to the farmhouse..
She honestly couldnt believe that they were outside walking towards a stable, she would have never seen this in the city, it was an amazing sight..He opened the door as they got inside, she immediately heard the horses..
"this one is Blackie" he said as he pointed at a dark black horse that was staring at her intently.."this one over here is sparks" he said as he pointed at an auburn horse that was anxiously pacing.."and this big boy is shadow" he began as he walked over to a large white and black horse.."lady over there is about to give birth so she lays around a lot" he said as he pointed to a cream colored horse that was laying down on her side..
She was really in awe as she looked at them, she couldn't believe this.."this is amazing" she said honestly..
"wanna take a ride?" he asked as he looked at her..
"Oh I don't know, i never" she said as she swallowed hard, anxiety filling her..
"ah come on its not so bad, you can come with me today but tomorrow you ride alone" he said as her eyes got wide..She looked back at the horse he was stroking the long black mane on.."trust me you will love it" he said with a grin..
"Ok" she said wearily and he laughed as he stood there and then he was prepping the horse..
After he got the saddle on he jumped up, he made it look effortlessly as she stared up at him.."here give me your hand" he said as she looked at the massive horse then at him and then she threw all caution to the wind and put her hand out and within seconds he had grabbed her and she threw her leg over the horse as she got behind him, it was a very close fit, i mean she was seriously budded up next to him, her body pressed against his.."You ready?" he asked and she let out a weak yes and he laughed again..."You better hold on" he said and then he called something out and the horse began a quick trot and she laughed as she latched her arms around his strong waist, she honestly couldn't believe she was doing this, but she was, she was riding a horse..
By the back door of the house stood Clint and Victoria, his arms latched around her waist as he kissed against the back of her head.."You did the right thing sweetheart" Victoria said with a reassuring rub of his hand, she could sense his worry.."she is where she belongs, she is with her family" she said softly..
"she's not going to understand" he said low with worry in his voice..
"she will just give her time" Victoria said as she turned and faced him, she touched his face.."everything will be fine and when the full moon rises on her 18th birthday she will see, this is the way it was meant to be" she said softly..
"its not everyday that you are told that you are" he began as Victoria quieted him with a kiss..
"You worry too much Clint, she is stronger than you give her credit for" she said softly..
"Maybe i shouldn't of kept her away for so long, maybe it would have been easier" he said with guilt..
"You did what you had to, it was the right thing at the time but now, now she is home and that is all that matters" she said softly..
"I hope your right dear, i hope your right" he said with a deep sigh, there was only so much he could show her the rest she would have to learn on her own and John was definitely the right person to show her..
