Hi! Just a few quick words here: this story (if you can call it that) is meant to be just a few glimpses of what I think Katniss should have been up to in Catching Fire, all considering Gale. All rewriting the original story a bit, but staying pretty canon. I couldn't stand the start of that book for all the misery, so i had to conjure up my own complementing little story! Warning for absolutely no happy ending, you're gonna have to read my other, upcoming, story for that one ;) (Shameless advertising, yeees)
Oh, and is this where I'm supposed to say I don't own any of this? It's true.
So we just stand there silently, watching our grimy little station rise up around us. Through the window, I can see the platform's thick with cameras. Everyone will be eagerly watching our homecoming.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Peeta extend his hand. I look at him, unsure. "One more time? For the audience?" he says. I take his hand, holding on tightly, preparing for the cameras, and dreading the moment when I will finally have to let go.
The train silently comes to a halt. We move to stand in front of the door, and as it slides open I'm momentarily blinded by light and stunned by the roar of thousands of people. I stumble a few steps forward off the vehicle before, following Peetas good example, I straighten up, lift my head high and meet the crowd with a smile. In all honesty, I'm sort of happy to see them all. This is my district, my people, and to see them all here definitely lifts my mood.
Just keep it up for the cameras, Haymitch had told me, and loyally I do, for a little while at least. I smile, only a little stiffly, and I wave. But when my eyes zoom in on the people I long to see, I just can't wait any longer. A thrilling, impatient happiness rises up within me and I forget all about cameras and Peeta and my supposed victor's composure. Jumping down from the elevated platform, I sprint away through the crowd, and they make way for me with claps on my back and shouted words of congratulations. In a blur, I see people smiling and then finally my family is right in front of me. I don't hesitate a second. Prim squeals happily as I lean down to pick her up under her arms, like I used to when she was a little girl. It probably looks funny now, when she is catching up with my height, and my arms strain to support her. I couldn't care less though, and press her close to me.
A triumphant feeling is spreading through my body, making my head light and my blood soar. All my grief and worry is momentarily forgotten, locked away tightly. For the first time since I came out of the Arena, I allow myself to actually feel happy I made it, savour the relief of being alive. Because for all the celebration in the Capitol, getting to come home is my real victory.
"Katniss!" exclaims my sister, who has tears streaming down her pretty face while at the same time her laughter mixes with mine. Her thin arms are locked like a vice around my neck and I breathe in the scent of her hair, thinking I have never been happier in my life. "I'm so happy you're home," she starts, but a hiccup cuts her off halfway and I can't help but laugh again.
"Me too, little duck," I chuckle, kissing both her cheeks as I set her down. Not ready to let her go, I keep one arm around Prim's shoulders as my mother moves closer to put her arms around me. She takes my face in her hands and leans her forehead against mine, sighing in relief. A beautiful smile is on her lips and for a mesmerizing moment I see the woman I remember from when I was little, back from the dead, just like I am.
"I'm proud of you," is all she says, but right then it means everything to me.
Then I look up to see Gale, my Gale, standing there, looking for all the world the same as always, his eyes dancing and trained on me. A smirk is pulling on his lips, threatening to break out into an infectious full grin. My stomach does a crazy flip, but then I'm filled to brimming with the jubilant sense of victory again, a rush of adrenalin too great to contain.
With a grin that turns my whole face into an insane mask of happiness, I run two steps and launch myself up, grasping his shoulders for levity. He catches me easily in his arms and spins me around wildly, high in the air, while I find myself wordlessly crying out loud with the thrill of the moment. In the back of my mind, I realise it's not the most subtle of displays, but what the hell. Surely I'm allowed to be happy to see my best friend?
"I made it, Gale!" I squeak, breathless and still grinning madly. "Did you see those snares I made? Those woods?" Somewhere inside me, I feel proud of my own accomplishment in the Games, and this is something I can share only with him, because with him I don't have to hide the real me. Also, he's the reason behind a big part of the skills that helped me survive out in the Arena. All this he knows, and I can tell from the glow in his eyes that he's proud of me, too.
"I saw you, Katniss" he replies, shoulders shaking with quiet laughter. "Told you, didn't I?" Smug, as always, but this time I let it pass.
He sets me back on my feet, but doesn't quite let go of me, arms around my waist. Since caution is already out the door, I lean in as if to give him a happy hug, but put my lips close to his ear behind the curtain of my loose hair.
"I missed you," I whisper and then I pull back, letting go of all but his hand in mine. He looks slightly stunned, and I'm half giggling again but then I feel my mother laying a heavy hand on my shoulder, forcing me to pay attention.
"Your cousin has been looking forward to see you," she says in a voice laced with intention.
It takes me a full second to register this. Then all my excitement is replaced with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I risk a glance back up at Gale to see his eyes have turned hard as flint, which tells me all I need to know. In the periphery, I catch sight of a hoard of reporters heading our way, cameras ready at hand. In a swift movement I unlace my fingers from Gale's and struggle to rearrange my face back in a composed mask. Bewildered, I look around for some distraction, and bend down to pick up Gale's baby sister in my arms. With her chubby innocence, at least she never fails to put a genuine smile on my face. And why wouldn't she? After all, we're all cousins now, I think wryly.
The sudden loss of contact with Gale leaves my hand tingling, but my mind is on alert again. A small part of it is processing what just happened, assessing the risk. Surely, we looked cousinly enough not to raise suspicion? All I did was forgetting to put on my public face for a few minutes.
I may be home in one piece, and everyone I care about may still be here, but even now I'm reminded the Capitol will never leave me alone. I'll never get to live my life like it was supposed to be, and I'll never get to be just Katniss Everdeen, the girl who hunts in the woods anymore. No, standing here with a very fake smile ready for the camera is the new Katniss, the girl on fire, trademark product of the Capitol. And I absolutely loathe her.
