A Soul of Silicon

By Al Kristopher

Shion Uzuki walked into the dark room where KOS-MOS slept, and closed the door behind her with a quick hiss. It was very late at night, so she didn't turn on the main lights. The auxiliary lights, mere glowing rods dotted around the room, provided just enough vision for her to make a few things out without having to feel for them. Shion carefully walked towards the pod where KOS-MOS was resting in stasis, making sure her stocking feet made no noise, and looked down at the creature inside.

Even to her own creator, KOS-MOS was a mystery. Shion thought she understood everything there was to know about the blue-haired machine, but KOS-MOS sometimes did the most unpredictable things. She looked human--she had been designed that way so she would be able to interact with humans better--and she sounded and sometimes even felt human. Shion brushed her bare hand against the resting cheek of her creation, parting only a few long strands of blue hair from her face.

KOS-MOS was a strange creature that bordered narrowly on the line between human and android. Shion clearly remembered constructing the "woman" piece by piece, sometimes letting computers do it and sometimes chipping in herself. Yet there was something organic about the woman as well, even with her monotone voice and empty stare. KOS-MOS was hard to understand, but while she was sleeping, Shion felt like she knew her "child" the best.

"Once upon a time, a man named Prometheus created humans from clay." She chuckled quietly as she remembered the story she had read to KOS-MOS during the later days of her construction. The "woman" was more of a machine then; the unfinished body parts and the wiry intestines spilling out of her had been proof enough. Shion sighed to herself as she remembered the rest of the story.

"The gods did not like Prometheus for this, but they allowed him to live since his creation was beautiful. However, Prometheus loved his creation more than anything, and decided to give them fire so they would wield a power similar to the gods. When the gods heard this, they punished Prometheus by chaining him to a rock. An eagle would swoop by every day and rip out his liver, but the wound would only be healed later. Every single day, Prometheus was tortured for his 'crime', and had it not been for the acts of Hercules, he would have been tormented forever."

"Why-did-the-gods-hate-Prometheus?" KOS-MOS had asked her. Her voice had been completely flat and empty back then, sounding more like a trick of electronics than a real human sound. They had improved it later once her body had been completed.

"What do you mean? They hated him because he gave the humans too much power. They hated him because… he loved them and wished for them to be like the gods."

"But-is-that-not-the-goal-of-all-humans?" KOS-MOS had asked. Shion gave the machine a sweet smile.

"No, not all of us. Of course, we all want to be better, but…"

"Will-you-be-punished-for-giving-me-fire?"

Shion froze. She honestly couldn't answer at first.

"Of course I won't be punished," she whispered quietly, not wanting to upset the balance that kept KOS-MOS in stasis. "I was asked to construct you. Silly girl…" Shion sighed sadly, and stroked the face of the machine below her. Her mind had filled up with questions without her even knowing it, and there was nobody around--nobody at all, anywhere--who could answer them. She impulsively gave KOS-MOS a brief kiss on the forehead before leaving.

-----

Shion only saw KOS-MOS once the following day, when she wished her good morning. She had some thoughts she wanted to write down in her diary, mostly considering the state of a certain android, and found some privacy in the cargo hold of the Durandal. She slid down until she was leaning against the wall, her legs stretched out in front and her diary nestled in her lap. Shion removed her glasses for a period so she could rub her eyes, and began writing once the mood struck her. She didn't get very far before she was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Good morning, Shion. How are you today?" Shion smiled. It was KOS-MOS. The question was just a part of her programming, nothing more. Shion wanted to believe that KOS-MOS had asked her out of genuine concern, but… that was not possible.

"Not so good, really. How about you?"

"I am doing well. Why are you not feeling well?" Shion sighed wearily as she patted the spot next to her.

"Sit down with me?" she asked. KOS-MOS crumbled to the floor and leaned against the wall, her face as lifeless as a sheet of paper. She stared ahead for a few seconds before turning around to listen to the human.

"Shion, I have asked you a question. Human protocol requires an answer, please."

"Sorry," she said as she managed to chuckle. "All right. Well, I'm really just… confused, really. I'm… just not so sure about you, KOS-MOS. I mean, I know that Kevin and I created you, and you're probably the most advanced… erm, humanoid replica machine that's ever been designed. Perhaps we made you too human. I… don't know if I should even call you a female, or a girl."

"According to age approximations designed into my physical construction, I bear a close resemblance to an eighteen year-old human female."

"I didn't mean it like that," whispered the brunette quietly. "I meant… sometimes you act… well, less like a creation and more like a… well… more like a human."

"But were humans not created as well? Do you not have your gods, or were you made accidentally by an occurrence of random chances in the cosmic imbalance?" Shion couldn't help but giggle. When KOS-MOS explained evolution and the Big Bang, she made it sound awfully dull and uninspiring.

"Well, when you put it that way, I'd like to think that a loving God made us."

"Similar to the story of Prometheus?" Shion paused and blinked in awe.

"Ah, you remember that?"

"Affirmative. I have kept record of many things since my initial start-up procedure, except for the data that has been deleted. The story you told me has remained." Shion gave KOS-MOS a sweet smile and parted the blue trails from her face.

"I'm glad. Still…"

"Do not worry about it, Shion," advised KOS-MOS emptily. "I think I may be able to understand what you are going through."

"Really?" The android paused, blinking and calculating as if she were really thinking about the question. Her mechanically-advanced brain calculated the best answer for the question, but even through the electronic response, something akin to a heartbeat could be heard.

"I want to make you feel better." Shion smiled and meant it.

"Thank you, KOS-MOS. Sometimes, you can even fool me into thinking you're a sweet person." KOS-MOS blinked again, and registered that there was some happy amusement in her creator's voice. She responded by smiling--or rather, moving her mouth in a way that made her look like she was smiling. It was really just a simple trick that any ninety-gil toy from the store could do if programmed right, but KOS-MOS was no toy. She was no doll, who Shion could dress up and speak for whenever she liked.

Or was she? Shion shuddered at the thought.

"You look as if you are upset over something," noted KOS-MOS, who had stopped smiling. Shion looked over at the "woman" and gave her a sad sigh.

"I just… ah… I will be all right. It's just a bad thought that crossed my mind." KOS-MOS gave her an empty red stare, and placed her hand on Shion's arm as if to comfort her. Uzuki didn't know if that was in her programming or not--it was hard to tell with KOS-MOS.

"There is something remaining of a human in here," said the machine plainly. "I am myself, yet there is something within me here that even I do not understand. Yet I know it is there. There will be a time when this something, whatever it is, is freed, and she will come out. We will know it when we see it. But please, Shion, please consider me your friend for now. Please." Shion let out her breath and tried to smile. She leaned over, and squeezed the android as tightly as she could in her arms. Despite having mechanical advancements in her body that made her able to crush steel, KOS-MOS still felt as soft as any human girl.

"I'll try," whispered Shion, smiling sadly. The robot raised its powerful arms and held them gently over Shion's back, returning the embrace. Her arms had the power to crush her like a tin can, but they also had the power to make her happy. Both embraced. Shion eventually drew away from KOS-MOS--her new friend, of all things--and smiled weakly.

"Sorry I sounded so upset over something so silly. It's a human thing."

"That is all right," replied KOS-MOS emptily. "Perhaps one day I will understand it." The "girl" moved her mouth until it looked like she was smiling again, and for the first time since her "birth", it looked to have a spark of real happiness in it. It became lost quickly, though, as KOS-MOS stood up and excused herself from the room. Shion smiled as she watched the strands of blue hair whisper away, and returned to her diary.

"May 6

"When I look at KOS-MOS, I don't see a machine, but a real girl. I know it's silly--after all, I made her--but I can't help but think that there's a spark of humanity in her. I might be called Prometheus… but I think it would be more accurate to call her Pinocchio. Is she really a simple puppet who is working to become a real girl? Is this machine closer to humanity than humanity itself? Perhaps KOS-MOS truly does have a soul within her, somewhere, hidden inside the circuits. A soul of silicon, perhaps, but a soul nonetheless."

The End