-Shoes to Fill-
Rick had not spoken one word, at least that Michonne had heard, since Carl was buried. Every night, like clockwork, he lifted Judith from her crib and laid her between himself and Michonne in their pallet bed on the floor. There, Judith slept sandwiched between them.
Michonne guessed Rick couldn't stand to have his remaining child away from him.
There was still work to do, especially after Negan's attack on Alexandria. So in the mornings, Rick would rise and follow Daryl's lead in repairing what Negan destroyed.
And Michonne spent her days with Judith, hugging her and holding her when the little girl allowed it. Since learning to walk, Judith had developed a stubborn, independent streak. She liked to do things herself.
"Me!" Judith would say when anyone tried to help her. "Me!"
They kept his hat. Carl's sheriff hat now hung on a nail on his bedroom door, which no one had opened since he died. The room stood closed off, like a crypt, that hat like a grave marker.
While Judith played on the living room floor, Michonne walked upstairs to look at Carl's hat. It had been her routine for the past week.
Had it really been a week already? The thought sent an uncomfortable shiver down Michonne's spine.
Today, she did something new. She lifted Carl's hat from the door, turning it around and around in her hands as she watched Judith play.
Michonne's feet moved without her thinking about it. Before she knew it, she was crouched in front of Judith, Carl's hat still in her hand. Judith picked up her head, her gaze lifting from her dolls to Michonne. A big smile spread across the little girl's face.
Judith was the only one unaffected by Carl's death. The poor girl, she was so used to people coming in and out of her life that her brother's absence didn't even weigh on her.
I'm sure it's better this way, Michonne thought to herself. It doesn't hurt her like it hurts all of us.
"Hi, Mama," Judith said to Michonne. Carl was the one who had taught Judith to call her that. It brought tears to Michonne's eyes the first time Judith had said it, and it certainly did now.
"Hi, baby girl." Michonne took Carl's hat and placed it on top of Judith's honey-blonde curls. The hat, of course, was too big and slid down over Judith's face, making the little girl laugh.
"Bubba," Judith said, pushing the hat up to reveal her smiley face. She had called Carl 'bubba', because his name had been hard for her to say.
"Yeah," Michonne told her. "It's Bubba's hat."
The tears rolled down Michonne's face and she didn't do anything to stop them. Judith, though, reached forward and wiped Michonne's cheeks, just like Michonne did for Judith when she cried.
While Judith wiped Michonne's tears away, Carl's hat slid once again. It fell over the right side of her face, covering her right eye. The coincidence was enough to break Michonne's heart all over again.
She slipped the hat off Judith's head and leaned forward, kissing the little girl on the forehead.
"You've got big shoes to fill now, baby girl."
