Warnings: if you are in anyway 'repulsed' by the idea of an insert characted having
any association (especially a close relationship) with a character of Weiss,
please reconsider reading this fic, i'm sure you wouldn't like it. Mature topics? sorta....
1st person point of view, point of view of the original character. May be a bit
boring at first, but the later chapters might be faster paced and more 'exciting'.
Might be a bit OOC... but who knows what Youji is "really" like.....
Disclaimer: i don't own weiss Kreuz or any of it's characters.... i have nothing, i get nothing
material out of writting this.
please review........ but read all chapters before reviewing. i'll take any comments
for the improvement of this fic. this is actually almost done.... i just havent gotten
to typing it yet. if you want to read the comtinuation, bug me 'bout it.
The arrangement was simple, really. He gave me what I wanted and I gave him what he
wanted in return. It was mutualism in short. But something-- happened and everything started
going wrong. Wrong in the sense that it wasn't right. Wait, that didn't make sense… It was
wrong because it didn't work out the way
it should have. Actually, it did... let me restate that: It didn't work out the way I wanted it
to. Our deal was getting too…. Sticky, if I may say so. Or was I just imagining it? Heck, I don't
know if it was right or wrong to break our 'contract'. What a joke! Since when have I been able
to differentiate right from wrong?! Never, I guess… I wouldn't be in this line of work if I had
known squat about it. Anyway, the fact still remains that we broke up and being the person
that I am, I will stand proud with my decision, even if it means being alone while he's cavorting
with in another woman's bed. Frankly, I don't really care what he does anymore. This is
getting too long. I don't know why I keep on going around in circles even though I know I'm
not going to get anywhere. That being said, I shall state the end point of all this hullabaloo.
We used each other, but when I saw that our arrangement could lead to something else, I
dumped him. In the cruelest possible way I could think of ofcourse. Personal attachments are
dangerous in our profession. We both know that… him more that I because of his 'ahem!' past
experience. I've heard somebody say once that stupid people learn from experience. It's the
smart ones who learn from other people's experiences. But the funny thing is that he doesn't
seem to acquire anything from his own experiences, how dumb is that?! "Sin, when you gonna
learn?" it says on his tattoo. At least he knows he's a fool… a fool for that thing he calls love.
Here I go again with my diversion tactics. Truth be told, I don't really want to say anything to
anybody about what happened between us... But I have to. I feel like I'm going mad. Guess
it's part of the job description. I'm telling all this to clear my head and in doing so, increase
my concentration and in turn, my productivity for Schatten. I'm doing it again, ain't I? Fine, I'll
get on with it. The sooner I finish, the better. I'll start the 'story' from the 'beginning' with
more detail.
From the three or more times I have gone clubbing, I have learned that it is one of the best
ways to loose yourself, even for just a little while. How can anybody concentrate on anything
while dancing with a sea of bodies in nearly blinding disco lights to nearly deafening music? And
that was what I was doing, dancing my heart out… but not 'dancing' in the regular connotation
of it. This, I think, falls under the heading of 'dirty dancing'. I like it, it's fun.
My date at the time, whose name I think was Kenjo, was with me. He had his hands on my
thigh but they were slowly moving --elsewhere. Normally, I don't let anybody touch me. I don't
like the feel of other people's flesh in contact with mine. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Not
just uncomfortable, I hate it. I have this weird mentality that other than me, everybody is
dirty, and I particularly hate filthy things. I'm like this probably because nobody hardly ever
held me while I was growing up. But I do touch other people… when I know they're clean, that
is… and when it's necessary-- That's a different story. Sidetracked again! Back to topic… What
was I saying? Oh yeah, that I don't let people touch me, but that particular night, I was willing
to make an exception. I had a project. Two 'projects' for that matter. Two projects
hand-in-hand with each other. One of which was to get laid. The other one? That I'll tell later
on.
My mind had already accepted the fact that I would get laid that night or the next morning.
whatever the case. I had also realized that that couldn't happen without a lot of touching,
and such is the reason why I'm letting Kenjo paw at me. If he had tried to pull on me anything
like that at any other time, I would have mutilated him without delay or hesitation.
Shocking words… but yes, I was gonna go through with it. Dangling modifier, I'm not making
myself clear. I am now talking about the sex, not the mutilating, though it does have its fine
points. 'It' is referring to mutilating, not sex, but sex also has its fine points too… Argh!
Nevermind! Back to topic. As I was saying: Why I wanted to get laid. Well, simple. One day, I
was pondering what I hadn't done yet and it occurred to me: I'm a damned eighteen year old
virgin. Well, okey, most people would say that eighteen is still a young age. Bullshit! The people
who say that have a future to look forward to, I don't. I say eighteen is a fine age, it's 'Legal'.
Now they reason: save your virginity for the one that you love, for your husband. What
husband?! Where?! Unless I drugged then get married overnight at some Las Vegas chapel, or
any similar situation, I don't see any husband coming. And love? For crying out loud, my
feelings end at 'like'. I don't expect to live long, I might bnot even be able to see the next
sunrise, why the hell shan't I have sex?! Now is the time, I want to experience it while I can.
With whom? With Kenjo maybe? I was looking for someone sexy, handsome, and not shy.
Definitely not shy. Somebody not ashamed of his body, being naked. In short, I'm looking for a
model. Kenjo kinda' filled in the requirements, but I wouldn't think twice if I found someone
better. I am a woman after all, it's my right to be fickle minded.
any association (especially a close relationship) with a character of Weiss,
please reconsider reading this fic, i'm sure you wouldn't like it. Mature topics? sorta....
1st person point of view, point of view of the original character. May be a bit
boring at first, but the later chapters might be faster paced and more 'exciting'.
Might be a bit OOC... but who knows what Youji is "really" like.....
Disclaimer: i don't own weiss Kreuz or any of it's characters.... i have nothing, i get nothing
material out of writting this.
please review........ but read all chapters before reviewing. i'll take any comments
for the improvement of this fic. this is actually almost done.... i just havent gotten
to typing it yet. if you want to read the comtinuation, bug me 'bout it.
The arrangement was simple, really. He gave me what I wanted and I gave him what he
wanted in return. It was mutualism in short. But something-- happened and everything started
going wrong. Wrong in the sense that it wasn't right. Wait, that didn't make sense… It was
wrong because it didn't work out the way
it should have. Actually, it did... let me restate that: It didn't work out the way I wanted it
to. Our deal was getting too…. Sticky, if I may say so. Or was I just imagining it? Heck, I don't
know if it was right or wrong to break our 'contract'. What a joke! Since when have I been able
to differentiate right from wrong?! Never, I guess… I wouldn't be in this line of work if I had
known squat about it. Anyway, the fact still remains that we broke up and being the person
that I am, I will stand proud with my decision, even if it means being alone while he's cavorting
with in another woman's bed. Frankly, I don't really care what he does anymore. This is
getting too long. I don't know why I keep on going around in circles even though I know I'm
not going to get anywhere. That being said, I shall state the end point of all this hullabaloo.
We used each other, but when I saw that our arrangement could lead to something else, I
dumped him. In the cruelest possible way I could think of ofcourse. Personal attachments are
dangerous in our profession. We both know that… him more that I because of his 'ahem!' past
experience. I've heard somebody say once that stupid people learn from experience. It's the
smart ones who learn from other people's experiences. But the funny thing is that he doesn't
seem to acquire anything from his own experiences, how dumb is that?! "Sin, when you gonna
learn?" it says on his tattoo. At least he knows he's a fool… a fool for that thing he calls love.
Here I go again with my diversion tactics. Truth be told, I don't really want to say anything to
anybody about what happened between us... But I have to. I feel like I'm going mad. Guess
it's part of the job description. I'm telling all this to clear my head and in doing so, increase
my concentration and in turn, my productivity for Schatten. I'm doing it again, ain't I? Fine, I'll
get on with it. The sooner I finish, the better. I'll start the 'story' from the 'beginning' with
more detail.
From the three or more times I have gone clubbing, I have learned that it is one of the best
ways to loose yourself, even for just a little while. How can anybody concentrate on anything
while dancing with a sea of bodies in nearly blinding disco lights to nearly deafening music? And
that was what I was doing, dancing my heart out… but not 'dancing' in the regular connotation
of it. This, I think, falls under the heading of 'dirty dancing'. I like it, it's fun.
My date at the time, whose name I think was Kenjo, was with me. He had his hands on my
thigh but they were slowly moving --elsewhere. Normally, I don't let anybody touch me. I don't
like the feel of other people's flesh in contact with mine. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Not
just uncomfortable, I hate it. I have this weird mentality that other than me, everybody is
dirty, and I particularly hate filthy things. I'm like this probably because nobody hardly ever
held me while I was growing up. But I do touch other people… when I know they're clean, that
is… and when it's necessary-- That's a different story. Sidetracked again! Back to topic… What
was I saying? Oh yeah, that I don't let people touch me, but that particular night, I was willing
to make an exception. I had a project. Two 'projects' for that matter. Two projects
hand-in-hand with each other. One of which was to get laid. The other one? That I'll tell later
on.
My mind had already accepted the fact that I would get laid that night or the next morning.
whatever the case. I had also realized that that couldn't happen without a lot of touching,
and such is the reason why I'm letting Kenjo paw at me. If he had tried to pull on me anything
like that at any other time, I would have mutilated him without delay or hesitation.
Shocking words… but yes, I was gonna go through with it. Dangling modifier, I'm not making
myself clear. I am now talking about the sex, not the mutilating, though it does have its fine
points. 'It' is referring to mutilating, not sex, but sex also has its fine points too… Argh!
Nevermind! Back to topic. As I was saying: Why I wanted to get laid. Well, simple. One day, I
was pondering what I hadn't done yet and it occurred to me: I'm a damned eighteen year old
virgin. Well, okey, most people would say that eighteen is still a young age. Bullshit! The people
who say that have a future to look forward to, I don't. I say eighteen is a fine age, it's 'Legal'.
Now they reason: save your virginity for the one that you love, for your husband. What
husband?! Where?! Unless I drugged then get married overnight at some Las Vegas chapel, or
any similar situation, I don't see any husband coming. And love? For crying out loud, my
feelings end at 'like'. I don't expect to live long, I might bnot even be able to see the next
sunrise, why the hell shan't I have sex?! Now is the time, I want to experience it while I can.
With whom? With Kenjo maybe? I was looking for someone sexy, handsome, and not shy.
Definitely not shy. Somebody not ashamed of his body, being naked. In short, I'm looking for a
model. Kenjo kinda' filled in the requirements, but I wouldn't think twice if I found someone
better. I am a woman after all, it's my right to be fickle minded.
