BLACK NIGHT TOWN
Konoha's "Fastest" Knucklehead
Twilight didn't have the patience for slackers. Dashing between drug houses in Sarutobi-gumi did a real number on the tactless: You were either shot at or shot dead. When the don didn't get his wares, he didn't care if you were "just the messenger"; a 9-mm bullet was promised to end your life, your career—and your face. So, in that way, the streets became dangerous even to seasoned runners. Especially when big orders—of a gram or more—were involved. It was harder to hide packages of that size, and wearing pocketed jackets made it more obvious. One time, a special snowflake hid a bag in the butt of his jeans. As long as it wasn't showing, he made it fly like a kite in a spring breeze.
A new runner himself, one thing Naruto Uzumaki could rely on was his speed. His sense of direction was shoddy, but landmarks like Ramen Ichiraku and Yakiniku Q made his memory race with his feet. Dodging people and obstacles was his way of showing off, in which he oddly excelled. Flipping girls' skirts would earn a teaser's bonus.
This time, the situation was dire: His mission was to get one pack of ecstasy in to the boss before sunup.
It was a challenge he couldn't refuse. "I got ten minutes," he checked his watch. Then, smirked. "Let's make this fun!"
Sadly, by the time he got there, he was sliding on his face. Never impressed by the newbie's devil-may-trip countenance, the head honcho—Asuma Sarutobi—considered it a job well-done, nonetheless. Every time Naruto flubbed the landing it came with a snippy lecture from the retired head, Hiruzen Sarutobi.
"Why can't you be a good role model for my grandson, Konohamaru?" the old man shrieked at him. "I want him to be next in line for this position, not a blundering idiot! Stick your landings or I'll stick my Thousand Years of Death up your ass!"
The old man was never ashamed; down to the gleam in his eye, Naruto had to cower while holding his bottom at the sight of him—and the implication of his gesture.
Naruto sat beside the Naka River. The mission was over, but he still felt restless. Ramshackle food stands overlooked the river but faced the street. Everything smelled good, so he was crazy to pass up any of them. But his perpetually broke self had to remember why he was perpetually broke: Ramen was indeed "the greatest pleasure." His greatest vice, unfortunately, too.
Naruto swiped a thumb across his nose. "Oh. My nose is bleeding again." Then, he whipped out another bandage, ripped off the old one, and stuck on the new own. Bored, he huffed a nonexistent bang away from his face. Grumble.
But the excitement never stopped. A cool ringtone played—"Hey, kid. Got another run for ya." It was Asuma.
Leaping from the bench, he yelped, "Yahoo! The fun never stops in Black Night Town! Let's do it right this time!"
Owari.
