Yays! Another fanfic by me! :3 Hopefully, everyone will love it... First of all, South Park is owned by the marvelous Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Second, this fic is rated T for crossdressing, curse words, Liane Cartman, and pedophiles! :\

"There are six different prizes you can win depending on how much you sell. On Level A, you get this awesome farm animal eraser set! Just sell eleven through twenty items. Level B has an electric, colorful spinning top and erasers. Sell twenty-one through thirty items. Level C is a glow-in-the-dark backpack! Comes in three colors. You get the erasers and the top. Gotta sell thirty-one through fourty items. If you're lucky enough to get to Level D, you get a CD player that comes with a radio. Everything under Level D is yours! Sell fourty-one through fifty items. If you make it past Level D and reach Level E, you get a Terrance costume as well as a Phillip costume and everything under this level.! Sell fifty-one and up! So sell, sell, sell!"

The student body of South Park Elementary dismissed from the auditorium. Several adults passed out selling sheets to each student exiting the room. Now standing in the hallway, a raven haired boy poked his red head friend on the shoulder.

"Kyle, did you see those Terrance and Phillip costumes? Halloween might not be near, but I still want one!"

"Yeah, dude! They look like those fan made costumes that cost a lot on eBay... If we sell more than fifty party snack sets, we can get the Terrance and Phillip costume set as well as the other prizes! Let's team up with each other for the fundraiser, Stan."

"You two faggots can team up with each other, but I'll still get more names than you!" said an obese boy standing next to Kyle.

"Cartman, you can barely walk without hyperventilating on the next few steps. What makes you think you can go door to door and sell stuff?" Kyle said.

"I don't even have to lift a finger to get those party packs sold."

"Yeah right... Let's go," Kyle cried, not believing his friend.


Kyle was sitting on Stan's living room floor, scribbling words on a piece of loose leaf paper. The Jew was spending the night at his friend's house. Stan walked out of the kitchen carrying two sandwiches bundled in some napkins. He sat down with his best friend and gave him a sandwich.

"So what should we say about the party snacks?" Stan asked, curious of what was written on the paper. He took a bite out of the square meal.

"We should first ask them if they ever bought a candy set or those cheese cubes and thought they taste bad. If they respond yes, we can introduce them to the items in our selling sheets and show then the low prices. If they respond no to our question, we'll just persuade them our party snack sets are better. To make them focus on the snacks even more, we can sing a jingle for them. We can play the guitar and create lyrics for the song, too."

"Let's use the tune of Always by Saliva."

"Okay, let's see..." Kyle began to write the lyrics to the song, Stan giving pointers and ideas between each written line. By the time the jingle was complete, their sandwiches were reduced to crumbs.

"Finish! Since it's a jingle, it won't be the entire song, but just the main stuff. Here's how it sounds:

You seeeeee a cheese cube set at the store.
Well, hold up! You see, this is why we are here at your door.
Assorrrrr ted candies stretch like a mile.
Well, don't you buy those cheap things, for they are so out of style.

($3.25, $3.25, $3.25) If you purchase them from us!

The flavors, the texture; you will love this product.
The low price, the pleasure; you will love this so much.
Just buy our party snack sets. I assure you you'll love it.
Or buy them from the dumb store and eat their piece of shit!
"

"Great! I think you should be the main singer and I can play the guitar."

"Fine with me. Maybe your dad can give us some tips on how to sell," Kyle said. He noticed Randy Marsh walking down the stairs and quickly called for him.

"Mr. Marsh?"

"Oh, hey Kyle and Stan! Need anything, boys?" asked Randy, tilting side to side slightly. Maybe he had a cup of beer... or two...

"Dad, we're having a fundraiser at our school and we're trying to come up with ideas to help us sell. Do you have any suggestions?"

"A fundraiser? That's kind of ironic because I was just wa- watching an interesting show that said young girls can easily capture customers. How about you dress up as girls? You'd win lots of cash, I bet," Randy reluctantly suggested.

"No way! I'm not dressing as a chick, even if chicks can sell stuff effectively..." Stan refused.

"Your dad has a point, though... I was reading a message on this website and it said this guy selling chocolate bars crossdressed and wore a wig. He recieved $500 in less than two hours!"

"Are you sure you really want to experiment with that, though? We could seriously mess up our reputation if someone finds out..."

"If you're willing, I'm willing! We can get some girl wigs at the store tomorrow. We can buy some girly shirts and pants so we'll look convincing, too."

"We better sell something, though, because I'd hate to find out I betrayed my manhood for a prize I didn't win..."

Well, wasn't this chapter dandy!? Be waiting for my updates!