Chapter One

It was already late out, she hated working late but it came with the job, she was a trainee for the lanview police department, Forensic Unit, a life long dream finally come true but it also came with long nights and basically no social life. She looked forward to a hot cup of tea or maybe she would pull out a bottle of her favorite wine and drink alone cause surely her live in boyfriend would be asleep, he always was..

She pulled up to the small townhouse and a smile crept across her face, the lights were still on, he was awake.. Cristian Vega had been her boyfriend for the last three years, it was a simple and easy relationship for the most part, he too worked for the police station as an Officer of the law, sometimes she got to see him more at work than she did at home but it worked for them, they were happy..

She made her way inside, tonight she would make up for lost time, tonight would be just about her and Cris but as she stepped inside she immediately noticed that he wasnt just awake, boxes were strewn about the livingroom and he came walking down from the hall, a box in hand as he froze standing there..

"Cris what are you doing?" she asked as she stepped in, her eyes darted to one box, it had his clothes in it..

"I was hoping you wouldnt get home yet" he said low as he stood there and she looked at him confused, none of this made since..

"Hoping i wouldnt be home, why? Why are your clothes in the box" she still wasnt getting it as she stood there, bewildered..

He stood uncomfortably, box still in hand.."Im... im leaving Natalie" his words didnt quite reach her brain as she stood there..

"what?" she was sure she had heard him wrong..

"I said im leaving, im sorry, i really didnt want you to see this" he began to rush around some more, pushing things into boxes as she stood there..

"Your leaving" she whispered as she looked at him, he glanced up at her..

"come on Natalie, its not really a surprise is it, i mean look at us, this... this isnt working" he began to pack again as she stood there, feeling like her chest was about to cave in..

"what? Not working? I dont understand, why are you doing this" her voice cracked under emotion as she looked at him..

"Please dont do this right now Natalie,...i cant do this anymore" he seemed so cold, so distant, she felt her chest get heavy.."I feel horrible as it is" he said with sadness in his eyes and then he continued to pack..

"Your leaving me, your just going to pack your things and leave, thats it, no explanation, nothing?" her voice shook as she looked at him, who was this man standing before her cause surely this wasnt the man she spent the last few years with, this couldnt be him..

"You need an explanation?" he stood now and looked at her.."Hell Natalie i think this is the most we have talked in the past 6 months" he was getting loud now, angry as she looked at him..

"what are you talking about, we talk everyday" she said with confusion..

"No, no we dont, you go on and on about your day, i nod to be polite and then we go to bed and im just tired of it... ever since you began the forensic program everything is all about you, about your day, your problems, hell what about me!" he yelled now, she was taken back by his aggression.."You know what im not doing this, im not gonna sit here and fight with you" he began packing again..

"i told you that this forensic program meant everything, i thought you knew that, this is my dream Cris" she said as she shook her head..

"More like self absorbed world" he said coldly..

"what? Are you crazy, this is my life, my dreams" she yelled back at him..

"exactlly your life, your dreams, i dont fit into your life" he said as he shook his head..

"what do you mean,you are part of my life" she began and he looked at her hard..

"if you really mean that then say the words, god damn it Natalie say them and i will stay" he stood in front of her now..

"words? Your not making sense" she said with confusion...

"thats why im leaving, you always resort back to this, im not playing these games anymore" he turned from her abruptly..

"what games!" she yelled

"say you love ME!" he spun around and looked at her..

"I do Cris, you know i do" she said with tears..

"Oh really cause in the last three years i havent heard you say it once" his eyes filled with tears..

"what are you talking about, i say it all the time" she yelled as her voice shook..

"thats bullshit and you know it, you say me too or ditto or some other kind of bullshit but you never say the words" his eyes filled up more.."Just say it, say that you love me" he said low, sounding defeated as he looked at her, she stood there silent unable to talk..."You cant do it, can you" he shook his head..

"I can... its just... your pressuring me" she said defensively as she began to pace, she didnt know why he needed to hear those words, didnt she show him enough that she didnt need to say it, those words were overrated..

"look at me, here i am begging you and you just stand there, i pour my damn heart out to you and i get NOTHING!" he yelled..

"Nothing? I have given you three years of my life and apparently that was all a waste" she snapped bitterly, she felt like he had her back up against a wall, she didnt like it..

"yeah i guess you would see it that way" he looked broken as he stood there, he picked up a box...

"i didnt mean it like that Cris" she said low..

"You meant it exactlly like that" he walked past her and she stood there...

She felt like she was going to hyperventilate, she couldnt breath as she stood there staring into her home, filled with boxes, why couldnt she just say those three words to him and make everything ok, she couldnt do it, she couldnt say it.

He walked past her again, grabbing another box, she just stood there, he stopped in front of her, tears running down his cheeks now as he looked at her..

"Im sorry" she said low...

He looked for something to hold onto, something in her eyes, he saw nothing.."yeah, me too" he said as he walked past her again..

She had stayed and watched him pack up all his stuff, she felt like she was watching a movie, she could barely move, she felt like her life was falling apart, he grabbed the last box and stood in the doorway, she stared back at him, he waited another second and then left and she stood in the townhouse completely and utterly alone..

Within an hour she was drinking heavily, she had finished off all of the alcohol in the damn place and she still wasnt numb, she needed more, she needed not to feel and so she took off on foot heading to the one place she knew she could find what she needed, Rodi's..

Sitting at Rodi's now she slammed back some more drinks, shots mainly, Mac the bartender immediately picked up on something being wrong, that was one of the things she hated about living in a small town, everyone knew everyone elses business..

"You know if you ever need to talk Red im here" he said softly and she smiled at him as she drank back another shot..

"I know Mac, i just really want to be alone with my thoughts" she said as she ordered another drink and sipped it this time..

"the guy isnt worth it" she heard a male voice say next to her and she spun her head to meet a pair of blue eyes..

"excuse me" she said quickly as she looked at this tall dark stranger who just happened to be handsome as hell, his eyes dark and blue, his hair long and unkempt as if he had had a long day as well, facial hair trimmed down short, he was dressed in a blue silk button down shirt, a few buttons undone and black slacks, he was definitely not from around here..

"sitting back drowning your sorrows in that, well he aint worth it" the guy continued as he ordered himself a drink..

"what makes you think i am wallowing over a guy" she snapped defensively at him..

He smiled as he looked at her.."you've been crying, its nearly 2 am and your sitting in a dive bar drinking old whiskey to me it screams that you want to forget about someone or something" he began as he sipped his drink nonchalantly...

"You know i could say the same thing about you, its 2 am and your drinking" she began and he raised an eyebrow..

"exactlly" he grinned as he put his hand out.."John McBain and you are?"

Natalie stood and finished her drink.."Im leaving" she said as she walked away, he quickly downed his drink and walked after her..

"You know its dangerous to be out walking this time of night especially after you have been drinking up the bar" he began and she sighed heavily as she stopped just outside the door..

"believe me i can handle myself, thank you very much" she slurred her words...

"Im sure you can, but why dont you just let me help you home" he began and she laughed..

"Now who seems like a creepy stalker" she laughed drunkingly at him.."no thanks"she began to walk again..

"hey wait, i didnt mean it like that" he ran up to her and she continued to walk..

"Listen i dont know you so i would appreciate it if you would take your ass back into the bar and leave me alone" she began to walk again.

"i would but see my mom raised me better and i cant let you go alone with a good conscience" he began and now she stopped and turned to face him, she rolled her eyes dramatically..

"Listen your apparently not from around here, but i will let you know that my entire family runs this town" she began and he put his hands up in a surrender gesture..

"Ok ok i promise to keep my hands within view and you allow me not to disgrace my mother by not making sure you get home safely" he said with a smile..

"whatever your wasting your time" she said as she began to walk..

"wow he really did a number on you huh" he began as she walked and then stopped..

"I already told you im not crying over some guy ok.. if your gonna walk next to me the least you can do is stop talking" she snapped at him...

"Ok my lips are sealed" he said and she began to walk again..

Natalie had a million and one things going on in her head and to make matters worse this guy was walking with her, he didnt seem all too bad but then again no one these days ever seemed bad and he was dashingly handsome but she wasnt going to let that fool her, she tried to ignore his presence as she walked, she definitely wasnt going to lead him to her house, she would walk to her brothers apartment, she may be drunk but she wasnt stupid..

"its a nice neighborhood, a nice town too" he began and she rolled her eyes but before she could say anything a blinding light came around the corner, it took her a second to realize what it was and before she could react she felt herself being pushed violently off to the side of the road as tires screeched and rubber burned.

She crashed to the ground, her head hitting agianst a tree, the horn of the car blew loudly and she tried to open her eyes but all she could see was the shadow of a body laying on the ground then everything went black...

She could hear voices calling out her name as she laid there still, she had thought she was dreaming, actually at the moment she felt calm and no pain, almost as if she could fall asleep right there..

"Natalie, do you hear me" she finally honed into the frantic voice, she recognized it immediately, it was her Uncle, the police commissioner, quickly reality snapped back and she let out a huge gasp as she tried to sit up but a pair of arms held her down.."dont move sweetheart, EMT is here" her uncle said as her eyes shot open...

"A car, a car, he was hit by a car" she tried to cry out as her uncle kept her still as the EMT's began putting her on a stretcher, she opened her eyes more as the scene around her developed, police cars were line up, EMT was there, the fire department, a car was off to the side of the road and she could make a body being put onto a stretcher, she immediately noticed the clothes, it was the guy from the bar and he wasnt moving.."Oh my god Bo i saw him, he.. he was hit" she began to get frantic as the image of him being flipped up in the air from the hood of the car then crashing onto the ground as his limbs flared lifelessly..

"Sweetheart its gonna be ok, he is being rushed to the hospital, who is he Natalie, who is that guy, do you know him" Bo asked but she wasnt able to answer as she cried hysterically..

"Bo i came as soon as i heard... Natalie.." Cris said as he rushed over to her and put his hand on her arm.."oh baby im so sorry, i didnt mean what i said, i didnt" Cris began to get all emotional as she laid there, she couldnt even think much less answer him..

The EMT's ushered him out of the way as they got her to the ambulance, she could hear the other one taking off in a hurry.."will he be ok" she tried to ask the EMT's helping her..

"he'll be fine, dont you worry" one of them said but she knew he was just saying it to keep her calm, she felt a prick in her arm as they started an IV bag and she let out a wince..

"i dont need that im fine" she yelled out hysterically..

"you need to relax you have a head injury" one of the EMT's said to her and then she began to cry as the days events came to a head, it was turning out to be one of the worst days of her life and now someone may be dead because of her, the guilt was overwhelming..

They had given her something to calm down in the ambulance cause the next thing she remembered was waking up to a bright light and voices around her as she groaned, her head was throbbing immensley as if someone was beating an internal drum..

"she's awake, she's awake" she could hear someone say and then fuzzy images came hovering over her...

"natalie sweetheart its your mom and dad, were here"

"me too Nat, its Jess, rex and Gigi are here as well"

She fought to open her eyes but the bright sun shining in made it difficult.."water" she said with a sore throat..

"here you go baby, were all here, your going to be ok" she squinted to see Cris holding a cup of water for her, she sipped a little of it, wetting her sore throat..

She looked around the room, at all their faces and then she racked her mind.."where's...where's... John" she finally remembered his name as they all looked at her confused..

"who sweetheart? Who's john?" her mother asked as they all looked at each other bewildered..

"the guy, he got hit by the car" she adjusted herself up in the bed some.."is he ok?"

They all began looking at one another, a look of dread on their faces as well as confusion.."His name is John? He is in surgery sweetheart, did you know him?" her mother asked as Cris looked at her, she just ignored his stares..

"yes, kind of... i... i met him at Rodi's tonight" she said low and she saw the disappointment wash over Cris's face as he walked over to the window..

"yeah i think im gonna go get some coffee, do you want a cup Sis" Rex said nervously as he looked at her, she shook her head no and he took Gigi's had as they left the now tension filling room..Jessica opted to go with them as her mother looked at her, her father shaking his head in disapproval..

"is he gonna be ok?" she didnt even glance at Cris as she looked at her mom and dad..

Her mother brushed a piece of her hair back.."he was hit pretty bad Natalie, we just dont know" she said low...

Natalie couldnt hold back the tears as she began to cry.."it was my fault, i shouldnt of let him...i shouldnt of"

"shouldnt of what sweetheart" her father said,he looked as if he was going go on a damn rampage in that hospital..

"He wanted to walk me home, he said it wasnt safe for me to walk by myself after drinking so much" she began..

"damn right, what the hell were you thinking in the first place, and why werent you there" he scolded Cris who just looked at him..

"dad stop it, its not his fault, its all mine" she cried...

"no its my fault" Cris finally spoke as they all looked at him.."we got into a fight, i left, i shouldnt of left" he said but it was more directed at natalie..

"maybe we should leave them alone" her mother said as she looked at Clint...

"can you check on him for me, please mom" she said as her mother and father walked to the door..

"Of course sweetheart" she said as they left and Cris walked up to her..

"I am so sorry Natalie, i am so sorry for everything" he grabbed her hand and held it..

She gently pulled it back.." i want to be alone Cris"

"but natalie" he began and she stared up at the ceiling..

"Please, just let me be alone" she said again..

"Ok...you need to rest, i get it" he said low as he stood there for another minute then he backed up and without another word he left the room as she laid there, crying once more..

A few hours had passed and she had gotten word that John had made it out of surgery, he had had some internal bleeding and a broken leg, they had him heavily sedated but the doctors felt he would make a speedy recovery, she stared at her uncle who was asking her a million and one questions..

The car that had hit John had an elderly man in it, he had been making a late night run for his wife who was coughing up a storm, he said he thought he saw a cat jump into the road and for a second he took his eyes off of it and by the time he looked back he saw what looked like a body hit his windshield, no charges were being pressed as of right now and the poor man was so shook up that everyone was worried he would have a heart attack right then and there but Bo was more concerned about the strange man natalie was with, and why she was with him...

"so he told you his name was John and he offered to walk you home?" Bo asked suspiciously and Natalie sighed..

"Listen uncle bo i told you i was drinking, he said it wasnt safe to walk alone" she began..

"but it was safe to walk with a strange man you dont know" he cut her off..

"it wasnt like that ok, and nothing happened, he got hit by a car Bo, he could of died" she said with her voice cracking some..

"ok ok i dont want to get you upset, its just weird cause he had no id on him, nothing but a few dollars in cash" he began and natalie shook her head..

"of course he had id, who doesnt carry ID around" she said quickly..

"exactly what i was thinking, i want to run his prints but i cant do that until he wakes up" Bo began and her eyes got wide..

"you dont seriously think this guy was up to no good, do you? I mean he pushed me out of the way and he got hit, that could of been me" she said as she looked at her skeptical uncle..

"i just want to know the facts, thats all...why he was in lanview, why he had no ID, come on Natalie forensics is your field" he began and she crossed her arms over her chest..

"He jumped in front of a moving car for me, thats enough proof for me" she said defensively..

Bo made quick work of getting out of there and Natalie waited patiently for her discharge papers, besides a bump on her head she was in good shape, she had a hell of a headache but she was in way better condition than John, which is what lead her to his room and she snuck inside..

She had to try not to notice all the devices around him, he had tubes and Iv's everywhere, his leg casted all the way up his thigh, thankfully he was breathing on his own but he was definitely a pathetic sight to see, she walked up to him..

"I just wanted to say thank you" she whispered as she stood there and looked at him."im so sorry you got hurt" she said low and then she slowly walked for the door, a low groaning noise was heard and she stopped, she thought at first she was hearing things but then she heard it again and she quickly walked over to the side of the bed, his eyes were flickering open.."Oh my god" she said in shock, he was waking up, she spun to leave the room, she had to get a doctor but shockingly his hand shot up and grabbed her wrist, stopping her..She jumped slightly as she looked back at him,his eyes barely open.. she could hear him whispering something but she couldnt make out what it was.."I cant understand what your saying" she said low and then his hand dropped from hers and he fell back asleep, she just stood there and watched him..

Natalie stayed another two hours, refusing to leave his room, what if he woke up again, with no ID no one could notify family of his, how horrible would it be to be left in a hospital alone, she sat by the window, the doctor had come in and told her that until he fully awoke they wouldnt know how severe his head injury was, that thought was frightening not to mention her family was not happy about her staying by his bedside, especially Cris but she didnt care what any of them thought, he had saved her , she owed this to him..

"im not going anywhere until he wakes up" she told her family much to their disapproval..

"this is insane natalie even for you, you dont even know this guy, you said so yourself" her father scorned her..

"he jumped in front of a moving vehicle dad, dont you think i owe him that much, dont you, that could of been me, i could be laying there" she barked back..

"but what about Cris sweetheart, he is worried sick about you and this is just killing him" her mother stated softly..

"he left me mom, he moved out, packed his things and took off, he lost the right to be concerned" she said bitterly..

"you just wait until i have a word with him" her father said threateningly..

"Dad no... stop it ok, im an adult now" she snapped at her father, she was sick and tired of him treating her like a damn child all the time..

"well then maybe you should start acting like it" he snapped right back, her mother Vicki jumped in front of him..

"we are not going to fight, if natalie wants to stay here with this man then so be it, i would rather my daughter be sitting here talking then laying unconscious in a bed" she snapped at Clint who seemed to shut up right away, natalie was thankful for her mother being the voice of reason..

Her parents stayed a few more minutes and then left as she stayed in the chair just staring at this man, wondering when he would wake up..