To a doctor, just like any other holiday, it meant busy. On top of a regular day's work, more and more patients flodded in minute by minute, victims of holiday cheer. The clinic he'd apprenticed in had learned to classify them by letter for speedier treatment, classes A through D- jealousy injury, suicide attempt, alternative sex practice injury, and culinary accident.
Simon had no reason to believe the crew of the Serenity would be any different. Even such a small slice of the human population would follow the same patttern- it was basic sociological theory.
He was very rarely wrong.
Class A had been filled early in the day by a bleeding, swearing Malcolm Reynolds. Why he hadn't expected Inara's clientele to be present when he'd visited, Simon had no idea- it was 'a day for love', after all, just as she had snapped at him after kicking him into the infirmary. The captain's angry protests of how he'd momentarily mistaken the man for attacking her fell of deaf ears. He'd grumbled about men who needed to push women around to get off while Simon bandaged the scratch marks on his arm, and then he was sent on his way.
Class D appeared around lunch when Jayne stumbled in, holding his stomach and looking green. It took the threat of a diuretic to get him to admit he'd eaten the turkey giblets from three weeks ago. While he wanted to believe, deep in his heart, that Jayne had known it was a stupid idea no matter how good it looked on his sandwich, the low grumbles of discomfort and confusion told him otherwise.
Class B had him worried- in fact, it had for weeks. It wasn't that he really thought Zoe was the sort of woman to end herself, but people did all sorts of uncharacteristic things when they were in pain- he knew that very well. He'd tried to keep an eye on her, but every tentative inquiry about how she was, how her day was going, was met with the same withering stare that said she knew exactly what he was up to.
He'd kept worrying until he'd caught sight of her in the cockpit, idly moving the dinosaurs around. While Wash had always thrown them heedlessly together into epic battles without rhyme or reason, Zoe strategized- the Tyrannosaurus had the high ground, so even the smaller, quicker toys had to surrender.
After that, the day wore on and on with no more incidents.He was mostly relieved- Class C had always been the most awkward to treat, and that was with total strangers. He'd never been a superstitious man, so he could ignore the nagging feeling that something was missing, unaccounted for.
There were still a few people he hadn't seen hide nor hair of, after all.
He'd expected his bunk to be occupied when he returned, so the sudden armful of Kaylee didn't surprise him. It was the various ropes and pulleys dangling from the low ceiling that made him pause.
"Happy Valentine's Day!" Kaylee beamed.
Simon stared, petrified.
"You're supposed to take your shirt off now," River said helpfully.
Foresight wasn't always a blessing.
