I could feel the strong wind push my frail body against the railings of the bridge.
It felt like it was screaming at me to step back to the other side of the railings. I could feel that half of my feet had already lost footing and was just waiting for the other half to lose it as well.
To be honest I felt scared. Not because of the height, but because I was scared of death. I guess it true what they say. In the last seconds before you die, that last bit of hope takes hold of you so tightly that you feel if the fall doesn't kill you that will. And you are ready to do anything, give up everything just to stay alive.
But that's the thing, I had nothing to give up, nothing to give to the universe.
"...nothing left to live for"
I let go of the railings and I felt that even the wind that had held me so close to the railings, had let me go, gave up on me. And I just fell...
a few hours ago.
The banging at the door reminded me of lightning. It kept hitting our door and the awful noise only made my heart go faster and faster with fear.
I was not afraid of what would happen to me. Well okay I was, but not as much as I was afraid for my fathers well being. After all they were after him, but for some reason I knew that my father was more afraid of what would happen to me than him.
"Open up Dawson, we know you're in there" said a disgusting voice and followed another loud bang at the door.
We knew it was only a metter of time before they entered our home and destroyed it.
All these happy memories, everything we built with our own hard work would be taken from us to never be returned.
How could life be so unfair? We were not bad people, quiet the opposite I think, but I guess that did not matter anymore.
In this world the wealthiest is the one who rules over the poor.
"Go to your room" my father's voice brought me back from my thoughts.
No. I was about to protest and say that I wanted to protect him like he was protecting me.
But I saw the look in his eyes. He was scared. Scared that he would lose me just like he lost my mother. He was willing to give up everything not to be safe himself, but to save me. For .e he would be selfless. How could I protest against that?
I went upstairs to my room and closed the door staying close to it to make sure to hear everything.
Then came the loudest bang of all. I could practically feel the old wooden doors brake at the pressure. Those doors that separated us from our goodbyes and hellos was now gone and all I could do was wonder what was next.
I heard the disgusting man amd my father speak, but I was too far away to hear about what. Then I heard a terrifying scream.
The scream went through my whole body, my whole being, even my soul. Oxygen that I needed for breathing seemed to become poison as I couldn't even breathe.
I could hear footsteps and I backed up to the farthest corner of the room.
I had no protection. My room had no lock so I was a sitting duck here, but there was no where to go, run.
The door opened and the disgusting man came in. You would think that's it. I'm dead. I thought so too amd I wished that's what happened to me.
No, I was raped.
Everything was gone. As I walked through my house I felt like it wasn't mine at all. This wasn't my house, this wasn't me. It couldn't be.
Oh, but it was. All of this was mine and it was destroyed. My family, my house, me.
I saw my father a wound in his stomach and a pool of blood around him. And the tears, the breath that was caught in my throat finally broke free from it's cage like a bird set free only to be shot seconds later.
"F-father" I stuttered out as I fell on my knees in the pool of blood. I put his head in my lap and looked into my dead fathers eyes.
I could see that the eyes were still desperately holding the last emotions of the human who's soul was already leaving the body.
Fear. I could no longer tell if it was fear to die or fear of what would come or what would happen to me.
Sadness. That he was leaving me alone here.
And happiness. That he could leave this place and reunite with mother.
I closed his eyes as if telling them that it was okay now, that they didn't need to hold those emotions anymore. That they could leave.
AllI could do was like a evil spirit had possessed me. And it sure felt like it had.
"I want to go with you father. I want to go with you to mother. Please, let me go with you" I sobbed. "please" the last word slipped from my lips weak and desperate, knowing that no one would hear it
