I was lying in bed on night when I decided to list all the possible pairings between Sokka, Katara, Zuko, Aang and Toph in my mind. Then I had the bright idea of using those pairings as prompts for a bunch of oneshots. Thus was born Ten Love Duets: one oneshot for each of the possible pairings within the Gaang.
C(5,2) is the "choose" function of mathematics, and in this case it represents the number of distinct pairs that can be chosen from a group of five objects. Usually it is written as a binomial coefficient, but for obvious reasons I can't do that here. Anyways, C(5,2) = 10, meaning there are ten possible pairings in the Gaang. I am posting them so that they are ordered by the order of each character's first line in the show. Since Sokka and Katara have the first lines, well, the incest ship is first!
DISCLAIMER: In the Fire Nation, Avatar owns you—and these crappy Soviet Russia jokes!
TEN LOVE DUETS,
or,
C(5,2)
I. Kasokka
"Katara! Katara!" Aang shouted, wandering through the Southern Air Temple.
Aang had suddenly fallen prey to a fit of nostalgia ("I haven't cleaned my room for a hundred and one years!"), so everyone thought it was a good idea to take him back to the Air Temple for a visit. It was bedtime before Aang realized Katara had slipped away sometime after dinner—and didn't come back. Zuko was already asleep, while Toph was just preparing to tuck herself in. Sokka had gone to the bathroom, but Katara had gone...missing.
"I have to show you where the bedrooms are!" he shouted. "Katara, where are you?"
After about five minutes of the like, Aang heard someone yell back.
"Will you shut up out there? Someone's trying to sleep!" It was Toph, yelling from her bedroom window.
"Katara's disappeared!" Aang yelled back.
"Look for her in the morning!"
"I can't do that!"
"I don't care! Stop shouting!"
"Katara! Where are you?"
"Didn't I just tell you to stop shouting?"
"Katara!"
"Twinkletoes, let me sleep!"
"Help me look for Katara!"
"Then will you let me sleep?"
"Sure! Come on, come on!"
"Fine."
Toph descended the two flights of stairs, paused for a moment upon reaching the bottom, then walked over to Aang and punched him.
"Ow! What was that for?"
"That's for forgetting everything I ever taught you! She's making so many vibrations, my feet's going to go blind! I'm going to bed. If you start yelling again I'll pound your head in!" And with that, Toph marched right back to her room.
Aang heaved a sigh, then began to take off his shoes. "Completely forgot about that. Well, it's worth a try..."
"Ahh! Ahh!!" Aang screamed, running through the temple like a madman.
"What's the matter now?" Toph yelled through her window, thoroughly irritated.
"Katara...and Sokka...Ahh!! AHH!! They're—they're—AHH!!!"
"Aang!" Zuko shouted, woken by the screaming. "What's the matter? It's the middle of the night!"
"Katara—Sokka—they were...AHH!! I'm too young!!"
"Aang, get a hold of yourself!" Zuko yelled.
"Calm down!" Toph shouted. "What happened? What happened to Sokka and Katara?"
Instead of calming down, Aang simply screamed louder, the noises no longer resolving into words. Zuko took the initiative of walking down to him, with Toph following moments later. Their presence was enough to calm him down somewhat. After a few calming pats on the back, courtesy of Zuko, he was able to speak coherently.
"What's the matter, Aang? Why were you screaming like a maniac?" Toph demanded.
"I found Katara. She was with Sokka in the kitchen. I thought they were just making a midnight snack. But when I got closer, it turned out they were doing something...that the monks told us never to do."
"What, were they having sex or something?"
"What's sex?"
Toph and Zuko simultaneously face palmed.
"Then," Zuko asked, "what were they doing?"
"They...exposed their privates to each other." Aang shuddered involuntarily. "I think I'm going to be scarred for life."
"That's it?" Toph asked. "They showed their privates to each other?"
"Apart from the fact that they were doing it in the kitchen, it's not really such a big deal," Zuko pointed out. "I mean, they are brother and sister. Maybe it's a Water Tribe thing."
"But...you're never supposed to show your privates to another! They're called privates for a reason!" Aang exclaimed. "The monks taught me that exposing your privates is an incredibly impure act!"
Zuko and Toph both snickered.
"This isn't funny!" Aang protested.
"Well, maybe something was wrong with their privates or something. Did they do anything, or did they just stand there and display their privates to each other?" Zuko asked.
"I...don't know. It was really strange, actually. I was too scared to get a close look, but I think...Katara was licking Sokka's banana."
"Sokka's...banana?" Toph asked. "What banana?"
"You know..." Aang nodded significantly towards his legs.
"It's called a penis," Zuko told him flatly. "Katara was licking his—wait a minute."
"Don't say that word, it's dirty!" Aang admonished.
"Did you say Katara was licking...her brother's...banana?" Zuko asked slowly.
"Well, that's what it looked like..."
Zuko promptly vomited.
"AHH!! AHH!!" Aang, Toph and Zuko screamed, running through the Air Temple like madmen.
"What's the matter with them?" Sokka asked, glancing through the door of the kitchen.
"Who cares?" Katara answered, pulling her brother into a brief kiss. "Now, where were we?"
