A/N: Inspired by a project done by the Grade 12 ISP English class at my school, where we were all made to write out anonymous letters, as many as we could, and the teacher made us close our eyes as she read them all out.
Needless to say, not a single person had dry eyes at the end of the class.
It inspired me to do one of my own.
(Takes place before AND after the fall.)


Mycroft exhaled loudly in the empty room, his thumb slid over the smooth plastic case of his lost brother's mobile phone. He received the communications device from Scotland Yard once it proved to be invaluable to their case over the suicide of the younger Holmes brother. For years Mycroft had wondered over what lay in the mind of his little brother, always wanting to figure him out, try to get into his head, which wasn't easy considering Sherlock was not a person who valued sentiment and often threw away any evidence of external emotion or caring over what he deemed a 'lost cause'.

He pressed the 'unlock' button on the new Blackberry Smart Phone, knowing how Sherlock never put passwords to any of his devices, claiming no one would ever think of looking into his data and if they did, they wouldn't find much of interest.

It was either irony or a really good poker face that kept his stuff from being hacked into.

The government worker looked with an almost bored expression at the collection of folders on the phone; the photos one was completely empty with exception of a photo of a plain barstool, which Mycroft waved away as being from a case he had worked on. The 'received' folder was just a conglomerate of messages from John and Lestrade, dealing with the mundane and the domestic of all sorts.

Bring home milk.
JW

wants to know if it was you who broke her chandelier?
I told her yes.
JW

New case, dead woman, found with husband's neck tie around neck and unknown bracelet placed on after her death.
Come to the Yard for more details.
DL Lestrade

All of which seemed very simple, the complete opposite of how Sherlock acted.
His 'sent' folder was the same way, short and to the point.

No.
SH

It was for an experiment, take it out of your pay check.
SH

Either her brother or her boss, she was cheating on husband but husband did not know.
SH

If brother has green ladder, arrest brother.
SH

Nothing at all uncommon or unusual present itself in these words, nothing Mycroft did not already expect, especially since Sherlock kept himself so quiet and so secretive all of the time, and he figured he wouldn't chance just because he had the safety and security of an electronic screen. Starting to feel bored with his task of checking out all the hidden pockets and files that the police had already deemed invaluable, Mycroft decided it couldn't hurt to check the last folder, the one labelled 'unsent drafts'.

This is what he saw.

John, where are you? You said you'd be home by midnight. It's two in the morning and you aren't home. Come home, you promised.
SH

You lied, John, you said you didn't like Sarah.
SH

I don't like her, she's not good for you.
SH

Why are you wearing her deodorant? You know you can't fool me, why did you think you could hide that from me?
SH

Did you see, John? I told you she would hurt you, you haven't left your room in two days, please come downstairs.
SH

I'm hungry John, and you haven't come down to feed me, moping won't help you get over her. You should have listened to me.
SH

It's nice to see your face again.
SH

I can't help you with women, why do you ask me, you know I don't know. I know they are conniving and useless and all they do is hurt you. I won't hurt you.
SH

Well don't get mad at me, John, you asked for my advice.
SH

Why don't you just go out with me?
SH

For your information, John Hamish Watson, I DO know what the public definition of a 'date' is, and I asked you for one.
SH

Just look at me, you matter to me.
SH

You know me, John, how many people do you think I would LET live with me? There's a reason I want you to stick around.
SH

How come you think I don't care?
SH

John, I may be of the male gender but I don't care about your silly little assumptions of what normal people do or think about homosexuals. You shouldn't be so concerned, do I really disgust you that much that you won't even be with me because you think other people will JUDGE you?
SH

Am I really that worthless to you?
SH

I wish you would just see this.
SH

I wish you would never see this.
SH

I hate you, Doctor Watson, you repel me.
SH

Please just look at me, look AT me, John.
SH

I will not apologise for ruining your fifth relationship. You should learn by now your attempts are futile.
SH

You could always just ask me.
SH

You really are an idiot.
SH

I hear you wanking in the shower, I'm sitting right below you.
SH

No John, that offer to assist you was NOT a joke, you know how often I joke, never.
SH

Why did you congratulate me for making an actual joke? I was serious, you sounded like you needed help.
SH

Stop this, just stop this.
SH

You want me to be more open?
SH

You want me to tell you what goes through my mind? Do you? John, I make it perfectly clear if you just LOOKED. I want to be with you, I want to make you stop crying, I want to be the reason you try to sneak out of the flat at three in the morning. I want you to see how much I really do care.
SH

You are my heart.
SH

I can be romantic too, John...Moriarty was right, I DO have a heart, unfortunately you stole it.
SH

At least I can write better poetry than those pitiful women you bring home.
SH

Do you really not love me because I'm a guy? Is that the only reason? I see the look you're giving me behind that book, John. Don't try to hide it from me.
SH

People assume we're together anyway, and they're right, you do everything with me, why do you sacrifice so much for someone you don't see a future with?
SH

We don't even have to do anything publicly romantic, just admit that you do have romantic feelings with me.
SH

Do you want me to say it?
SH

I love you John Watson.
SH

John, why did you come back?
SH

It's too late, I'm on the roof.
SH

Goodbye John.
SH

Don't cry, I'm here. I promise you'll see me soon.
SH

It's only been a month, you can get over this.
SH

I see you sitting there, I can't come inside, just look out the window, please, just stand up.
SH

You're still setting two cups I see. Don't worry John, I can come back soon.
SH

No tea tonight?
SH

John, put down the gun.
SH

JOHN, I'M COMING INSIDE.
SH

STOP, RIGHT NOW, I'M HERE, JOHN!
SH

Dammit you selfish bastard, I was right here...and you didn't even look at me.
SH

You didn't want to go out with me in public but you gave your life because I left. You stupid son of a bitch I will never forgive you for this.
SH

It's okay John, I'm right behind you.
SH

See you soon, my heart. I'm coming home.
SH

I'm coming home now, John.
SH

What he found inside made his eyes go wide and his jaw drop, this was it, this was where his brother stored the things he dare not speak aloud, the things he never told anyone face to face, things people would have paid unbelievable monetary values to see, the gossip and headlines and the scandal these would stir.

Just to have the knowledge that beneath it all, Sherlock Holmes was a sentimental being, he did care about people, he cared a great deal. He just never paraded it around like most people, instead he had kept it hidden, locked away where he knew no one would ever look. They tried to get into his head to figure it out, they tried to pick him apart by his physical being, but no one ever thought to ask his heart.

That was the first time Mycroft allowed himself to cry over the death of his brother.