Chapter 1 Of Dirty magazines and Krogan Chunks

A/N so this is just came from a thought that popped into my head. This is meant to be slightly humorous but there are serious moments. Shepard's a Earthborn/Sole Survivor. Gained biotic abilities while dead and now is a Vanguard.

Archangel sat in his little alcove, surround by heat sinks, wrappers, and dirty magazines. The magazines were his squad's and he hadn't the heart or the time to throw them away. So they sat there sticky and looking indifferent to Archangels current plight. Mercs surrounded the apartment of the vigilante turian, tipping over flower pots and generally causing a ruckus. The image brought a rare smile to the now jaded turian.

Peering down his scope he noticed something he thought he would never see before.

Shepard?

Fearing for both his sanity and that hallucinogenics were now wafting through the air vents, as this is a common occurrence on the station. His last hallucination was an horrible orgy occurring in front of him that included elcor, hanar , and volus participants. To this day he still awoke screaming from the nightmares.

"She's with Archangel." the mercs cried before a mist of blood splattered on his newly cleaned rug.

"Bitches, I got plus 5 attack," she screamed before shooting another in the head.

Thank the spirits for Mrs. Blargaloch's Blood Remover, which can get rid of the hardest blood stains from any surface.

His eyes travelled from the most welcome sight imaginable to the dirty magazines.

Shit.

With the speed and agility of a predator he leaped up, grabbing the magazines, and shoved them under the cushions of his couch. He then, after wiping his hands on the nearest surface, went back to his alcove to catch sight of his hallucination. Peering down the scope of his gun, the door opened behind him.

"Archangel?" he could see her now, head tilting sideways.

Raising a finger to motion her to wait, unwilling to turn around and see nothing. He shot a merc in the head and lifting himself up. He turned, pulling off his helmet, praying to whatever deity that would listen, that this was real.

She died, Garrus, nothing can bring her back.

But there she stood. Looking as invincible as the moment he first laid eyes on her. He sat upon one of the numerous surfaces in the room.

"Shepard, I thought you were dead," He said fatigue clear in his voice.

'Garrus, what are you doing here?" she said.

Words passed between them, it didn't matter what was said. She was here, breathing, when he'd thought he'd never see her stupid grin. Or hear her bursting randomly into song in the middle of battle.

She left to deal with the mercs digging their way into the basement. Leaving behind a woman wearing nothing but a catsuit and had a, as Shepard had most elegantly said once, bust that rival the gravitational pull of a small planet.

The initial euphoria was replaced with a darker feeling. The feeling of betrayal swept in like an awful drunk that ruined the most enjoyable dinner party by dancing on the table with nothing but a tutu on.

How dare she leave him, thinking that she was dead, when she was probably on some tropical planet getting totally hammered. Did Alenko know? After spending months of the two making kissy faces at each other during battle, his first impulse was that yes, Alenko did know. Then his logical side chimed in.

Perhaps she had to disappear. Perhaps she was being chased by life insurance salesmen and had to fake her death to run away from the unmerciful bastards. So perhaps Alenko didn't know. His anger slowly trickled away. Yes that had to be it. He and Shepard had developed a friendship that would bring even the ultimate bros to shame. A friendship that clearly had the biotic jealous.

Garrus came out of thought to hear Garm trampling up the stairs fuming, no doubt, at the passing remarks that he had made about his mothers sexual decency.

As the two of them got into a "your mama" battle of epic proportions. Shepard flew around the corner, glancing at the krogan, pulled out her shot gun, and began blue with biotic power.

He barely had time for What? to go through his head before she used the biotic energy to fling her self into the krogan. Now with easy mutilating distance of the krogan, she aimed her shotgun up his nose and fired. Gooey bits and blood flew everywhere. His face splattered with the former merc. The first thought that went through his head was.

Ew.

And then.

No Ingesting.

She walked towards him, putting her shot gun away.

"Only Blue Sun's left. How about we get the hell out of Dodge." She said, smiling her familiar smile.

He had no clue what Dodge was. But he agreed with her, getting the gist.

The gunship that he had destroyed had the audacity to show it's ugly muzzle around here. It immediately began dropping off mercs.

So much for the security deposit.

Quickly dispersing of the mercs. The gunship showed up to say, "Thought you'd seen the last of me?"

Then his face exploded.

"Garrus!"

Her face seemed to float above him, glowing like the sun. And then he was suddenly self-conscience of the fact he was going to die with krogan chunks in his fringe.


He opened his eyes expecting to see half naked women, of the turian variety, as he was most certainly dead. He instead saw the silvery gray hair of a human woman.

Chakwas?

Last he'd heard, she was sent to Mars to hand out advil to the hung over scientists from partying too much.

"Garrus, I totally think that you should chill out man, for you is tripping." Chakwas inexplicably said.

"What?" he asked nearly bursting into laughter.

She sighed, bringing her omni-tool to his ear, and began typing at the console.

"Your translator was damaged in the explosion. I think I just fixed it" she said the orange device disappearing.

"Before you go to Shepard, I need to explain something," she said as she grabbed a chair out of nowhere and sat down.

"She died, Garrus, when the Normandy was destroyed two years ago. Cerberus recovered her body and brought her back." She said, as he sat there wondering if his translator was still damaged.

He brought up his own omni-tool and looked at the readings. Whatever damage had happened to it had been repaired.

He sat there as reality sank in.

"Where's Shepard?" he finally asked, after he'd trapped himself in another logic loophole.

"She's upstairs in the Com Room. But before you go I have to tell you something." She said, pulling out a pen and paper to draw him a map.

She handed it to him, "You're face took some damage in the explosion. We had to use some cybernetics to keep your face together. But there are some scarring."

He reached up to his face and noticed for the first time the bandage that cover half his face.

Why in the hell do I have to urge to sing Phantom of the Opera.

Nothing left to say, he dragged his aching limbs out of the bed and got up.


"Commander, we've done all that we could do for Garrus. But he took a hard hit." Jacob droned as all Shepard could do was stare at the table.

"But..."

"Shepard," his beautifully flanged voice broke through Jacob's drawl.

"Tough son of a bitch, didn't think he would be up yet." Shepard ignored him as her eyes travelled across the rough contours of his face to rest at his scars.

"Nobody would give me a mirror, how bad is it," he asked gesturing at his face while walking towards her.

What in the hell was she going to say. I'm sorry Garrus, but swoons of fangirls will being throwing themselves at you for the rugged manliness of your scars.

"Hell Garrus, you were always ugly. Slap some facepaint on there and no one will even know the difference," She joked hoping she didn't offend him.

To her immense relief he laughed, "Don't make me laugh, Shepard. My face is barely holding together as it is."

"Some woman find scars attractive," Damn right they do, "Mind you, most of those woman are krogan."

Jacob then gave a salute and left.

"I'm more worried about you, Shepard. Remember all those sick experiments Cerberus was doing."

"That's why I'm glad your here Garrus, If I'm walking into hell I want someone I trust at my side."

"You know this plan had me walking into hell too. Ah. Just like old times."

He straightened his body out and added before turning away, "I'll settle myself in the main battery. I'm fit for duty whenever you need me."

Just like old time indeed.