Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of the characters associated with the anime. I do how ever cosplay as them :)

Wrote this one day while me and a couple of my friends were sandcest cosplaying. They're all kind of out of character, ESPECIALLY Gaara - but there's a good reason for it I swear!

Jizz in My Pants

"Ahh! Temari you bitch!" He snarled "Watch where you flick that white shit"

"Then don't sit there you moron" She fought back; her lips forming to a sly smirk.

"Why the hell are you painting your white fan white any way?" He quickly dodged yet another blob of paint that sprung at him.

"Because the last coat was done over four years ago and it's gone yellow you idiot"

"Hey!" He protested as she swiped him with her vial brush that left a long, thick white line across his forehead. She simply laughed evilly as he tried to wipe the paint away, only to fail.

"Here" She held up a tissue and cleaned the smudged paint from his sandy skin.

"Thanks" His eyes dropped as did his voice sarcastically.

"Are you two love racoons finished yet?" Both sets of eyes darted away from each other and wandered to the other side of the room where their little brother stood; his eyes hidden away beneath black leaves as a pink cloud of sugar was brought to his lips; dissolving in all but two seconds as they hungrily swallowed the candy goodness placed before them.

"Uhh… Gaara?" The puppet master's eye brow twitched.

"Yes Kankuro?" The red head straitened up from his moment of sweet heaven.

"You didn't just eat that whole bag of candy floss that was sitting next to the fridge did you?"

"Don't worry" His little brother reassured him "I'll get you another bag"

"I'm not worried about that, I'm…" His voice trailed off; his eyes some what shrinking at the thought.

"What? What's wrong?" The blond sitting next to him put down her brush as she entered the conversation taking place before her.

"Oh nothing" Kankuro quickly turned away from his two siblings and began to fidget furiously with his two index fingers.

"Kankuro" Her fist viciously wrapped around the collar of his black T and hurled him off the ground. "If you don't tell me what's wrong right now I swear I'll-… uh… Gaara, what are you doing?" Her eyes narrowed dramatically as they lowered to the ground where her little brother was currently poking her leg.

"You have a nice leg" He gave her an eye curl. Temaris eyes, which were now beginning to light dangerously with killing intent, switched back to the cowering boy held by her fist. "Tell me right now what was in that candy or I swear I'll-"

"Temari!" The red head wrapped his bony wrists around his sisters blond head, and proceeded to squash her in his non-existent boobs. "You make me jizz in my pants!"

The tanned skin of her face slowly faded into an astonishing shade of red, as the sentence slowly sunk into her numb with shock brain.

"You too big brother!" The brown head squirmed in his fight for freedom, as one of Gaaras arms changed positions from Temaris neck to his. Kankuro jerked back in fear as he saw the look on his sisters' red, with not only embarrassment, but also anger, ridden face.

"Tell me!" She snarled like the dangerous ninja she was.

"Ok, ok!" He tried to fend her off "So the candy may have been flossed with a little ecstasy, no biggie"

"No biggie! NO BIGGIE!" Temari pushed all three siblings apart. "Look at him Kankuro!" She pointed to their younger brother who was dry humping her fan, thus resulting in the crutch of his pants forever having a white patch of paint staining them. "Look what you've done to Gaara!"

"It's not my fault he ate it!" Kankuro yelled back as he tried to separate the red head and the giant fan.

"You could have at least kept it hidden in you're room-!" She immediately stopped her sentence as soon as she felt the cold ink trace harshly against her left breast. Her black eyes grew even darker, as they trailed down to her chest where she saw the words her little brother had written upon her.

'Gaara X Temari X Kankuro'

"You know" Kankuro gave a sigh of defeat "People, plus some form of intoxication, often leads to true feelings being brought out"

The blond stared blankly in front of her as realisation sunk in once more "What… the... fuck…" She stood in a sort of daze as her younger brother pressed his lips to hers and pulled in Kankuros until all three sets of lips were touching.

"I love you guys" He pulled away whilst dramatically waving his arms above his head and running off. "The sudden need to piss like a champion has overcome me" His voice echoed from down the hall.

"That's not the way to the bathroom…" Kankuro pondered

"Gaara!" Temari sprinted after him, only slowing her pace to a stop once she had reached him in the garden. But by that time, it was already too late.

"I'm done" He smiled at her whilst pulling up his paint covered zip. "Look sis, it's a kitty cat" He ran after the parasite infested animal.

"Kankuro," She tried to keep her cool together "How long until it wears off?"

"Hard to say. A bite of it might last for a few hours, so a whole bag, probably… a few days"

"A few days! A FEW DAYS! A FEW FUCKING DAYS!!" This time it was not one fist that held poor suffocating Kankuro off the ground, but two. Nor were her fingers curled around his black T, instead, trading the cotton shirt for the delicate skin of his neck. "RIGHT!!"

"W-What are you gonna do?"

No words uttered from her smirk ridden lips, as she carried him away into the dark depth of their house, leaving Gaara to his kitty cat that had become his next dry humping toy.

"Temari?" He squeaked out of his lips that had turned an awful shade of blue due to the lack of oxygen being supplied to them. "Why are we going down the dark tunnel that leads to the old torture chambers?"

"To torture you of course stupid" She smiled gleefully.

"And-, and-, why did you grab your fan on the way down here?"

"You'll see"

One eye grew bigger than the other at an image, of what his sister was capable of, shot into his feeble brain.

"Ahh, here we are" She unravelled her cruel hand and dropped him roughly on the floor of the concrete cell.

"What are you doing?" He asked as she swung one leg over his practically broken torso and rested on his hips. Bending low; her ever present smirk closing in on him, as she carefully joined her tongue with the blue surface of his neck. His skin tightened and bumped as she blew cool air over it. He found himself some what disappointed as she stood and hovered above him; turning her back to him. Their eyes contacted for a second as she took the time to give him one last glance before she would commit what she came here for.

If he wasn't shocked enough from the evil grin on her face, the thing to come next would surely give him a heart attack. He watched as her arms curled back and all three purple stars of her fan became visible. He felt the very ground under him crack and part, as his body shook with the violent wave of air that was produced, as she swung her fan from side to side. His eyes widened when he heard the splitting and ripping of fabric, his fabric; the fabric of his clothes to be exact.

"What's with the look?" She teased as she finally rested her fan against the wall and once again straddled his hips. "It's not like I've never seen you naked before" She leant down and softly bit the shell of his ear. A thin line of saliva ran from his neck, to his jaw, to the corner of his orifice. "Let's fuck till we bleed" She breathed as her hand traced his inner thigh.

"Temari-" She cut his words short as she sealed them with her moist lips.

"Kitty!!"

She quickly shot up from her position as she heard her other little brothers' voice, echoing from the dark abyss of the hall. A flash of naked skin and red hair blazed passed before her eyes had a chance to catch on just what the speeding object was, but her mind knew.

"Gaara!" She called out to him.

"Yes sis?" He stood in the doorway but a few moments later; the cat hanging in his arms, hiding what little dignity he had left.

"Um… what happened to your clothes?"

The green of his eyes lowered to peer at his own nakedness. "Kitty told me to take them off"

She stared at him for a moment; in wonderment for her brothers sanity "Right…"

Realising her original plan would no longer work under the current circumstances; she stood and hauled Kankuro over her shoulder, ignoring her fan and the remains of his clothes. The red head simply continued to grin happily as if nothing was wrong, as she hauled him also over her shoulder. She carried their two naked buts back up the dark corridor and up the stairs to the roof.

"Uhh… Temari, why have you brought us here?" Kankuro asked nervously, apart of him not wanting to know the answer.

"To show the rest of the village how stupid my younger brothers are; that and one hell of a porno."

He gulped at her answer.

"Birdie!" Gaara pointed to a bad omen bird as it flew past, completely oblivious to the situation taking place beneath it.

"So" Temari whispered seductively as she flopped them both onto the sand covered roof "How 'bout we get this party started?"

"Let the porno begin" The puppet master smirked.

xXx

There may be a next chapter, depending on how many people liked this one.