Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon, Stephenie Meyer does.
A/N: This is a little oneshot that sort of came to me after reading New Moon for the thousandth time…hope you like it. I might keep going with it, but i'm not sure.
Please read and review. I'm cursed with having very few - if any - reviews. Here goes!
For Your Own Good
She believed me.
I walked numbly to the car where Alice was waiting. She glanced at me sympathetically, but could not hide her sorrowful thoughts. Even if I couldn't read her mind, the pained expression that contorted her face was enough to tell me her feelings. I slid into the passenger seat of my Volvo and shut the door quietly. Alice started the engine, and began driving home.
How'd it go? Her thoughts reached out to me gently; she knew better than to say anything aloud. I didn't respond at first, my mind replaying the previous moments in the forest with Bella. Each recollection tore deeper into my being, ripping whatever soul I had left to pieces. She'll recover, I thought to myself, cringing inwardly at the image of her anguished expression that was fresh in my mind. Her pale face had lost any trace of color, her eyes went wide with distress. I couldn't bring myself to imagine the look on her face when she found her things gone. The pictures of me, the CD I had made for her, everything that would remind her of Edward Cullen.
It worked, I responded after a moment.
It didn't take that long, Alice observed. I nodded slowly.
She didn't question me, I confirmed, she just…trusted me. I wished more than ever that I could read Bella's mind. How could she have had so much confidence in my words so quickly? I couldn't count the number of times that I had professed my love for her. I think that something inside of me had wanted her to doubt me, to be stubborn like she always was and tell me that I was lying and to say she knew I loved her. She's safe now, I scolded myself, she can be a normal human.
"Edward?" Alice said softly, tentatively.
"Yes?" I replied, not meeting her worried eyes. She sighed and shook her head.
Never mind. I nodded. We reached the house. Carlisle hadn't sold it, which had confused me. "Just in case," he had explained. The plan was to go to Alaska for a while. From there, Carlisle said it was up to each of us. Alice and I got out of the car and went inside. Emmett leaned against the far wall, his suitcase beside him. He smiled at Alice, and then turned to look at me solemnly. His eyes searched my face for expression. I looked away, not wanting him to see my torment.
He looks just like she died, I heard him notice.
"Carlisle's finishing up at the hospital," he said finally, "Rose is upstairs getting packed; so is Esme."
"And Jasper?" Alice asked automatically.
"Present," he said, appearing behind Alice. He bent to kiss her, but Alice looked at him pointedly before casting a fleeting glance at me. Jasper nodded in understanding, content to stand beside her. I looked away from them, trying not to be jealous of their happiness. This is my choice, I thought, it's for her own good. Things are better this way.
"Alright," came Esme's charming from upstairs, "Let's get going." She smiled optimistically at us as she and Rosalie descended the stairs.
I'm going to miss Bella, I overheard her thinking. Bella. I would miss her too. My frozen heart already ached for her presence. I longed to hear her heart race at my touch, to feel her sweet scent caress my senses, to see her face light up when she saw me.
The six of us filed outside. Alice, Jasper, and I got into my car, while Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett slid into the cool, leather seats of Rosalie's convertible.
"I'll drive," I told Alice. It'll keep my mind focused on something besides…Bella. Alice nodded perceptively. Alice and Jasper settled themselves in the back seat as the engine purred to life. I pulled out of our driveway and drove to the hospital.
Carlisle was waiting in the lobby, briefcase in hand. He was talking to one of the other doctors.
"You can't begin to comprehend how much this practice with miss you," the doctor said regretfully. Carlisle nodded in understanding.
"I'm sorry to be going," he replied sincerely. Seeing that I was here, Carlisle stood up, shook hands with his colleague, and walked with me to the door.
"Goodbye, Dr. Cullen," called the secretary. Carlisle waved a final farewell and the two of us walked out the door. He climbed into the passenger seat beside Esme. "See you in Alaska," he said cheerfully. I nodded and shut the door.
Is he okay? Carslile's thoughts followed me to my car as he asked Esme.
I'm not sure, she thought, shrugging helplessly to her husband.
He'll get over it. I sighed, annoyed at hearing this. Rosalie. She had never liked Bella, and was constantly jealous of her mortality. All Bella had wanted was to become a vampire like us. Once, I would have laughed at the irony, but all I could think about as I drove was Bella and how much I was going to miss her. On the way out of town, we drove by her house. You're safe now, I thought, hoping that by some miracle she could hear me, be happy, sweet Bella, I want you to be happy.
