I had just finished carving the information I had learned onto a small rock when the dinner bell rang. I looked up to see Reiner and Bertholdt walking towards me. I dropped the rock and casually kicked it towards them as if I was just kicking up rocks and pebbles idly while dragging my feet across the dirt. I turned to leave and behind me, I could hear Reiner's weight shift as he picked up the rock and slip it into his pocket.
Ever since we had arrived and entered training, I barely spoke to them. Our objectives were clear in our minds and our way of communication was discreet. I twisted the ring on my forefinger; it was a habit that I had developed and I did it whenever I lost myself in my own thoughts.
I was thinking about the information I had learned by sneaking around and eavesdropping. Our target was Krista Lenz, or rather, Historia Reiss. I had to formulate some plans of my own and then somehow relay it to Reiner and Bertholdt. I stopped twisting the ring on my finger when I reached the dinner hall and sat down all by myself.
My posture was perfect but the vibes I gave off were anything but inviting. As I ate, I took quick glances at my fellow trainees. Mikasa was pushing another portion of food towards Eren, telling him to eat up for strength. He protested, saying that he wasn't a child but he accepted the food anyways. Armin laughed and Eren's ears turned red, embarrassed that he took the portion despite his objection.
To my other side, Reiner and Bertholdt were whispering with their heads close to each other. Without a doubt, they were discussing what I had managed to communicate to them. Jean came in with an air of arrogance, followed by a timid Marco and a nonchalant Connie. Reiner and Bertholdt dropped their whispered conversation and greeted the newcomers. Soon, they were all laughing and having a good time.
I saw that Sasha was once again hugging Krista (or Historia) tightly for giving her loaf of bread to her. Ymir smirked as the two girls embraced rather intensely. Then, there was me, Annie; just sitting at a table all alone.
"Good," I thought to myself. "I don't want to be friends with anyone here anyways,"
But something tugged on my heart strings, making me grit my teeth. A twinge of envy began to rise inside of my chest but I quickly shoved it away. I would trust no one and having friends were a burden anyhow. It was expected of me to cooperate with Reiner and Bertholdt but they were not my friends. They didn't know me other than their fellow titan shifter. I entrusted precious information that we needed to them but that was it. I didn't plan on spilling my whole life story to them.
…
This time, I had no choice but to talk to them. We secretly met at midnight, cloaking ourselves with long robes. Again, I started twisting the ring on my finger as Reiner talked.
"They probably planned out some countermeasures against Bertholdt and me because they've seen our titan forms," Reiner said. "But I think Annie can handle this one,"
"And you can take the information to them along with Eren," Bertholdt followed.
"Yeah I can do it," I said dully. "My titan form is smaller so I'm faster and can get a quick getaway. You two keep an eye out for a chance to take Historia and then we can all report back to the council,"
"I wonder how Eren even got that power," Bertholdt said thoughtfully.
"It doesn't matter; our focus is to capture him and Historia,"
I stood up and pulled my hood over my face, indicating that our meeting was over. Reiner and Bertholdt followed suit and we parted ways to return to our respective barracks.
"Annie?"
I turned around, clenching my fists just in case I needed to fend off an attacker. It was Armin; he was standing there with his wide eyes and looking at me curiously. I relaxed my hands and drew the cloak closer to my body. By far, he was the most harmless person I ever knew.
"I had to use the lavatory," I said with a straight face.
"Oh, ok," Armin smiled.
"Good night,"
I turned around to resume my walk back to the girls' quarters but he called my name again. It annoyed me but I turned around to face him again anyways.
"You look troubled; do you want to talk about it?" he asked.
"No," I said curtly. "Good night,"
I heard him repeat the 'good night' softly as I quickly walked away. When I was safely back to my bunk, I tore off the cloak and buried myself underneath the thin blankets that we were all provided. We were each given only one but I had managed to filch another one so I had two. To ward off suspicion, I sewed the two sheets together; I needed a heavier cover to smother my tiny flashlight as I wrote in my journal.
I wrote down everything that was vital to my mission in the journal. Of course, I wrote in the ancient language I spoke at home to make sure no one else but Reiner and Bertholdt could read it. I had also written 'DIARY' along with my name on the front and filled the first few pages with false 'diary' material. That way, if someone were to find it, I could reclaim it with a girlish manner without anyone being the wiser.
After quickly scribbling a few notes down, I shoved the book and flashlight under my pillow before laying my head on it. For some reason, my thoughts wandered off to Armin. I suppose he was the most tolerable person around; in my opinion anyways. Eren and Jean were too hot headed, Mikasa came off as obsessive and I didn't care much for Sasha's gluttonous ways. My eyes skipped over everyone else except for Krista, I mean, Historia but that's only because she's a target.
I turned over, annoyed that I was thinking about another person but myself. My father had told me to do the opposite and I wanted to keep it that way. I sighed heavily and closed my eyes while unsuccessfully trying to battle my thoughts of the blonde boy.
…
Mikasa and I were always the first ones to wake up in the morning, make our beds and wash up. We were silent towards each other and were courteous to one another. I was washing my face when I realized, Mikasa was just as good as I was at fighting, with 3D gear and pretty much everything else. I grit my teeth; to get to Eren, I would have to go through her. But then I would also have to go through Armin. I dropped the basket where I kept my bathing supplies, in shock. The thought of him made me jolt up.
"Annie, are you ok?" Mikasa asked.
"I'm fine," I scooped up what I had dropped in one motion and swiftly left the girls' washroom.
We were granted a day off before choosing which legion we would choose to join. It had been delayed due to Bertholdt causing another scene and letting titans into the city. Of course, without a doubt, I would join the military police. Hopefully, I could gather more info on the inside before snatching up Eren and returning home with him in tow.
I sat quietly off to the side thinking about how I could pull off the kidnapping. Reiner and Bertholdt headed towards my direction but I glared at them, shaking my head. They shrugged their shoulders and walked away. I wanted to think of a plan myself so that I could do the job alone, the way I preferred it. I let my eyes wander off into the sky and started to twist the ring on my forefinger.
Mikasa was damn near insane for standing up against a huge group of soldiers just to protect Eren. They shot cannon balls at the three of them for the love of god. Then Armin, who was also probably crazy, ran out of the cloud of dust and pleaded for the attack to be called off. I had to give them some credit though; they had succeeded in fending off an attack long enough until Commander Pixis stepped in.
But that time, Eren could only make barely half a titan and he had lost all control at the beginning of the following transformation. If he was that weak and couldn't control his titan form long enough, he himself was easy to take, right? Someone sat next to me and I turned to see Armin. I knew I had forgotten something; I had to get through Mikasa and Armin.
"Good morning," he smiled.
"Morning," I replied in a dull tone.
Commander Shadis stopped in front of us and we stood up, saluting.
"At ease," he said. "Artlert, where is Ackerman?"
"At the training grounds, sir," he answered.
"Figures," I thought.
"Very well,"
We saluted once again and when he was gone, we sat back down.
"So you looked pretty upset last night," Armin piped up. "And you still do,"
"I'm fine," I frowned.
"Your face and the way your voice sounds doesn't lie, Annie,"
I scowled at him and kicked at the dirt. Something tugged at me and without another thought, I opened my mouth.
"I just feel so overwhelmed about everything," I blurted out.
"Well, do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently.
That was it; Armin was wide open emotionally and I could bring him down! I grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him. He made muffled noise in surprise but then he kissed me back. We pulled away from each other and I saw him blushing. I looked to the side and tried to look as girlish as possible. Suddenly, I stood up and walked a few feet away from him. I looked back with the most innocent face I could muster. He followed me behind the barracks and continued where we left off.
…
When I lifted the hood off from the person's face, I held back a gasp. It was Armin; I should have smashed him but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I remembered the face he gave me before we had sex for the first time. My plan had backfired on me and now I was the one falling for him.
Reiner and Bertholdt were furious with me; they confronted me in the next meeting angrily.
"Why didn't you kill him?!" Reiner demanded.
I didn't answer and looked away, twisting the ring on my forefinger.
"Answer me!" he almost shouted.
"Shut your mouth! Do you want to get caught?!" I hissed.
"Oh my gosh," Bertholdt gasped. "You love him, don't you?"
Again, I didn't answer.
"We didn't come here for romance," Reiner said angrily. "We have a mission,"
When I didn't answer again, he pounded his fist against the wall.
"Damn it Annie!" he roared. "Answer me!"
"Shut the fuck up!" I punched him in the mouth.
"Whoa!" Bertholdt stepped in between us. "Calm down,"
We stood in silence; Reiner and I glared at each other, out of breath from anger. A few of the citizens had turned on the lights, wondering what the noise was. Rats scurried away, scared off by the scuffle. Slowly, the lights flickered off one by one until the three of us were in the dark again.
"Mind your own business," I said dangerously in a soft tone.
"What?!" Reiner hissed.
I ignored him and walked away; I had to see Armin. I stole a horse quietly and rode nonstop to the location Eren and Levi's squad was stationed. I stopped half a mile away so I didn't raise any suspicion. I swiftly climbed up to the second floor and tapped on the window. Armin's eyes opened up, which startled me because I didn't really expect him to wake up right away. I fell from the second floor and landed on my back. Armin's face appeared at the window and in less than five minutes, he came to pick me off the floor. And although neither of us knew it, we made sweet love for the last time.
…
No, no and no! This wasn't right! Father told me to never ever rely on anyone else and I disobeyed him. I started crying as the hot muscles of my titan form melted away from my body. I looked up as Eren loomed over me. Turning my head slowly, I saw Armin on one of the roofs of the houses. I wanted to yell out, 'I love you and I'm so sorry!' and reach out to him but I couldn't move my body.
The last thing I saw before encasing myself in crystal was Armin's betrayed and hurt face. It wasn't fair; for the first time in my life, I had fallen in love only to lose him. Maybe father was right and I shouldn't have trusted anyone. But deep in my heart, I knew I would never regret my radical and out of character kiss that started it all.
"Good-bye Armin, I love you," I managed to whisper before I took one more breath as the crystal completely took over my limp and now useless body.
