THE DREAM

By: jisusa-chan

… It's been 3 years … after all these years, all she yearned was him. The only thing she wished for, the only thing she wanted most and the only thing she lived for was him and only him. The times she cried, the times she stood there in the place where he left her, the times she waited for him. Her dearest friends tried to make her smile again but they failed. Even they've thought of bringing him back themselves, they failed too. They did things for her, every desire she wanted but it could never be compared need she wanted from him and it could never replace the broken pieces of her heart.

On the other hand, he too can never stop thinking of her. He kept dreaming of her, of course, he wanted it too. But whenever he was awake, he never regretted the massacres, the killings and the blood on his hands. He never regretted anything he did… except for one. Leaving her. He regretted not just leaving her but hurting her. He regretted never telling his secrets, his emotions, and especially his feelings. Every time he dreamt of her, it wasn't enough. He knew it was just an illusion. And it was the same with her. The both of them weren't satisfied with illusions at night. It wasn't enough…

But everything changed since the day they saw each other again. Sakura saw him again, those red eyes that was supposed to be the same as his raven hair, his features that never mattered if it did change, and his face. His face that she wanted to hold, to touch, to feel just for every piece of her would come together again. But he was far. So close yet so far. They couldn't hold each other… Sasuke felt what she wanted. He wanted what she wanted. But he couldn't and shouldn't. Someone was watching him. Someone all of them hated. The snake sennin that kept him locked in darkness… but that day never went the way the both of them wished for. It became worse than what they wanted. And It became more regretful for Sasuke.

Days became weeks. Weeks became months. And the months formed a year. A year has passed since Sakura has seen the love of her life. Yet, after 12 months of missions, 12 months of waiting and searching, and 12 months of being alone again, nothing happened. Sasuke, while doing such meaningless killings and searching for his brother, was looking for a chance to see her too. But he was almost losing hope the same way Sakura was…

--

One night, one lonely and dark night, the two were expecting another dream of illusions. But it was different. Much, more different from the other dreams they closed her eyes from reality and opened them in the dream. Sasuke did the same (but of course, in a different place). In Sakura's dream, she was standing at the place where it ended. The place where her heart broke, the place where he said the words that meant "goodbye" for her. Why here? Sakura thought. She didn't want her dream to be here. Her dream was supposed to be happy and not this heart-breaking. She clenched her hand on her chest as she tried not to remember that awful night. But as she closed her eyes, a hand slipped on her shoulder. A hand she never felt for a long time. A heavy and cold hand that she yearned to take. The hand didn't make her afraid, nor did it make her jump. Then, she turned to face him. Maybe this is a happy dream she answered her own question. And there in front of her stood a man. Raven haired, black eyes, wearing the clothes they last met. "Sasuke-kun…"

The skin felt real. His hand. Her texture. There eyes meting each other… "I guess, everything will be the sa-" her voice was stopped by his quick pull. She couldn't believe it. This wasn't the way it was before. He was supposed to say soft words to her before a hug and then a kiss. But why, why did it run differently? Was this a new dream? "No Sakura," Sasuke said. "don't say that." Sakura was in state of shock. Why was he saying such nonsense? Was this even a normal dream? Maybe a nightmare? But no, it wasn't. It wasn't a nightmare. Is it a dream, then? Suddenly, continuing words came out of his lips that made her heart skip a beat.

"I'm sorry…"

Sakura just stood there, letting Sasuke hug her around his cold arms.

"I'm sorry, for hurting you…"

This isn't happening. Sakura tried to force her thoughts that this was a nightmare.

"for doing things I never meant to do…"

stop…

"for making you cry…"

please, stop. Sakura knew what was next and she knew what would happen to her if she hears it. But Sasuke kept hugging her tighter every word he said.

please, Sasuke-kun. Stop!

"…and I'm sorry for leaving you here al-"

"STOP!!!" Sakura, with all her strength, pushed herself away and covered her ears before he could continue.

"Stop, stop, STOP!! PLEASE STOP IT!" Sakura kept shaking her head with hands on ears.

"S-Sakura, why?" Sasuke reached on her but she kept on repeating the same words.

She didn't want to believe it. Those words, it wasn't supposed to be said in her dream. It wasn't the soft words she was supposed to hear. It wasn't the hug that she was supposed to feel. It wasn't it… Sasuke just stared at her, confused. Didn't she want this? Isn't this her wish since the beginning? Silence came over after Sakura's soft begging voice. Between the silence, it slowly turned into a new moon. The wind came rushing, rustling the leaves… like the way it was that night.

"Why… why are you talking like that?" she was crying now. Letting the tears be seen dropping by the man in front of her.

"Sakura, wh-what do you mean?" he couldn't understand anymore.

"Those words, that hug. Why are you doing this?! This isn't… this isn't what I wanted to happen." Sakura answered.

"What do you mean you don't want this to happen? Isn't this your wish?! Isn't this what you wanted?!!" Sasuke shouted with confusion and frustration.

When she heard those words, the more she couldn't believe it. Why… how… Why would an illusion know that? How could an illusion feel so real? What could make Sakura cry from just a dream?

"You weren't…" Sakura continued. "You weren't supposed to say these words. You're, you're just an illusion. A dream. But… why?" she was still crying, bowing her head so she couldn't see him.

"You're not dreaming." Sasuke finally let out the truth.

Sakura didn't know how to react. You're not dreaming. His words repeated itself in her head. She didn't know what she would never believe. The words he said before or the words he just said now. After a long pause, she finally lifted her head to see him with confused eyes.

"…"

"Sakura?"

She didn't speak. She just looked at him, thinking if what he said was true. They just looked at each other. Sasuke was waiting for her to answer. He was expecting her to suddenly smile and burst out tears of joy, but she didn't. She just stood there, looking at him, directly at his eyes.

"I don't believe you." Sakura finally said.

"What?" again, Sasuke was surprised of her.

"I said I don't believe you." She was whispering but Sasuke could still hear.

"But… why? Aren't you happy I'm not an illusion?" Sasuke was already pleading for her belief.

"Then why the hell would I believe that I'm awake and I'm here when I'm supposed to be lying in my bed?!" Sakura replied.

"Then what do you want me to do? Prove it?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"Kill me."

"WHAT?!" Sasuke wasn't sure if she was really saying it. Kill her? Sasuke couldn't do that!

"You heard me. Kill me now, right here."

Sasuke couldn't answer. But how could he prove to her that she was awake?

"…"

"Well, what are you waiting for? If you kill me now, then I'll know if I'm awake or not. But then again, I already know that this is just a stupid dream. So don't be scared, Sasuke. I won't die if you kill me or anything." Sakura said feeling calm.

"Anything?" Sasuke heard her last sentence.

"Just prove it. You can kill me, hurt me or even break my heart once more." Sakura flinched from what she said lastly. "Just prove me that you're not an illusion…"

When Sasuke heard her answer, he faced at her and smiled. He smiled… for the first time. Sakura felt a jolt shot up inside her. She never saw him smile, so she was never certain if it was a smile or just his plain smirk. After that, Sasuke walked slowly towards her. Sakura wanted to say "stop" again but something made her not to.

"If you don't wake up, then that means I'm not lying, right?" Sasuke asked.

"Y-yes."

"Well then, here is my proof."

Sasuke slid his arm around her waist and leaned against Sakura's face. And for the first time, in the longest time at least, Sakura's first wish came true. Sasuke's lips were on Sakura's. The kiss was warm and it didn't make Sakura flinch. She just stood there again, letting him kiss her. So tenderly, Sakura slowly closed her eyes as a tear prickled on her cheek. If I don't wake up, then that means…

After a long, warm and tender kiss, Sasuke pulled away in inches from Sakura's face. He was happy. He felt relieved after letting her know his true feelings. Love. He looked at her face but her eyes were still closed. "Open your eyes, Sakura."

She obeyed, and then slowly, she opened her teary eyes to see him. The man she wanted to protect. The man she yearned to see again. The man she loved all along and finally, he returned it.

"Is this… is this really true?" Sakura still asked him even if she already knew the answer.

"Do you want me to prove that too?" Sasuke answered with the softest voice.

"But, but how? How did you come here? And how did I get he-" Sasuke put his lips unto hers again. He didn't want anymore questions. He just wanted to do everything to her now that he had the chance. His only chance…

"Sasuke, I…" Sakura wanted to tell him many things, but she didn't know why she couldn't let it out right now.

"Sakura," Sakura looked at him, begging again. But she wasn't begging for him to stop. She was begging for him to stay. She didn't want to be left alone again. She didn't want anymore illusions after this night. She didn't want anymore lies.

"What is it?" Sakura said.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Sasuke-kun. I love you so much."

"Sakura, I'm sorry."

"I already forgave you, so please. Stay with me." Sakura hugged him.

"I'm sorry for leaving you here alone." Sasuke continued what he was about to say a while ago. "and I'm Sorry…"

Sakura was waiting. She was waiting for his asking-for-forgiveness sentences to end. She already said that she forgave him, so why won't he stop?

Sasuke held Sakura in his hands to look at her once more. Sakura could see that loneliness in his eyes. And she understood it now. And then, Sasuke leaned forward Sakura's face again. Sakura held his hand expressing her gratitude to him. Thank you, Sasuke-kun. I love you…

"I'm sorry, but…" Sasuke couldn't say it, but he must. He knew the consequences if he didn't say it now.

Exactly what happened from their last night before, as much as it was painful to him, Sasuke punched Sakura again.

"…I'm sorry, but I have leave you again. I'm sorry…"

Those last words Sakura heard were more painful than his punch. Instantly, Sakura was knocked out by Sasuke again the same way he left her when they were genin.

Sakura… thank you, for everything.

"Goodbye…" then darkness filled Sakura's eyes.

--

As the rays of the sun broke the dawn, Sakura opened her eyes. Her pillows were drenched with tears as she felt that she was lying in her bed.

"You liar." Sakura whispered as she slowly sat up. "All of it was a dream, wasn't it?"

She observed her surroundings and yes, she wasn't hallucinating. She was really in her room. After minutes have passed, she was still sitting in her bed. Then, she looked at a certain picture frame that was taken 4 years ago. Sasuke-kun, you liar. She was looking at his face in the picture. But then, she noticed a paper underneath the frame. She slowly stood up and took it. She opened it and in her surprise, it was letter.

"…"

A tear fell from her eyes as she read the words…

Sakura,

I hope you won't say that I'm a liar.

I just wanted you to be safe so I carried you here myself. I didn't want you to lie down on the same cold bench 4 years ago.

Don't worry, I didn't get caught.

I wish you won't forget what happened last night. Everything I said, everything I did…

I meant them all.

And Sakura…

I love you.

Sasuke.

As she finished reading his letter, she folded it again and slipped it under the frame like it was when she found it. And then, a smile formed on her face the same time another tear fell down. But it wasn't sadness. It was joy.

For the first time, she knew the truth. Her real desires, his true feelings. Everything. From then on, Sakura decided to move on and keep everything behind her. She'll let days keep moving and she'll let her friends see that she's back. But the only thing that she'll never let go, is a memory of one night of them and only them, finally letting one know the love they feel for each other…