not so perfect paradise
This is the last time I'm asking you why,
You break my heart in the blink of an eye.
-Taylor Swift and Gary Lightbody, The Last Time
-x-
All good things come to an end, or so I'm told; I try to forget that this could blow up in our faces
-x-
"Rose," You hear him pounding on the door. You watch the door, scared it's going to burst open at any moment. It has many times.
Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Why do you always let that stupid, good for nothing, prick in? You're sitting on your bed. You're crying. Don't, won't let anyone see you. And it doesn't matter how hard he's throwing himself at your door, how many times he's desperately apologizing over and over again.
We accept the love we think we deserve. That's what your uncle, Charlie, always told you when you asked him why he never married. And, he would always add with a smile, I haven't found anyone that's worthy of my love. Then, he would always make you promise to wait until you found someone who was worthy of your love. And you would laugh and promise.
Is Scorpius worthy of your love?
It doesn't matter. That's what you're going to tell yourself. It doesn't matter. He doesn't matter. Everything doesn't matter. Nothing matter. You're just going to kept repeating that mantra to yourself.
Besides, what about the other times you let him in? He just left again. So you can't let him in. You can't. Because you know you're going to get hurt again. How did this even happen?
-x-
2220
You were fourteen the first time he told you he loved you. Fourteen when the cycle started. Before that, he had a reputation of dating girls and then breaking up with them in the blink of an eye.
"Weasley," he drawled from behind you, the arrogance noticeable in his voice.
"Malfoy," you say awkwardly and you keep walking. You think he said your name because you're in the way. You don't think that it's possible that there's any other reason.
Because let's face it, you didn't exactly think of yourself as pretty did you? You have red hair that sticks out all over the place and can't be tamed. You have freckles all over your body which look like someone stuck them there. You're really tall too. And let's admit it, you've always had a little crush on Scorpius Malfoy. I mean, who wouldn't?
"Weasley where are you going?" he asked, grabbing your hand.
"Nowhere, I suppose," you say.
"Weasley, I can't believe this," he said, shaking his head.
"Can't believe what?" you ask.
"Weasley-Rose, I love you," he says.
No you don't. That's the first thing that pops into your head.
He doesn't love you. He's probably said that to millions of girls, and they've all believed him. He probably thinks you're just another girl. And you see his friends over there laughing, and that's when you realise that this is all probably a bet anyway.
"Rose," he says gently, and you force yourself to look away from his face, because you know that if you look at his face, you'll melt, "Do you want to go out with me?" You look into his face and see that he's serious, and you think, maybe this time's different. Maybe I'm different.
"Okay," you say, and he smiles, and you smiles, and it seems like the world's smiling.
-x-
He dumps you a week later. You aren't surprised, nor are you mad when he dumps you publicly, in front of what seems like the entire school.
Everyone feels bad for you, but most of them knew that this was coming. You certainly did.
Why oh why did you say yes, when you knew this was always going to end in a no?
You're mad at yourself.
-x-
The pattern continued.
He would ask her out, she would look into his eyes, succumb and say yes.
Then, a week later, he would dump her.
She didn't know why she would keep putting herself through this, just because she knew she was getting dumped.
Maybe it was because she didn't feel this way about anyone else.
She was in a vicious cycle, and she didn't mind a bit.
-x-
Albus is concerned about you.
"Rose," he said, "I don't have a problem with Scorpius, but why are you doing this to yourself? You know he's just going to hurt you!"
"I don't know," you sigh. Albus shook her head.
"Rose," he said, "I love you, but I don't really understand you most of the time."
"Neither do I," you reply.
-x-
And now, he's there, standing outside your door, begging to be let in.
But you know what? This has been happening for years, and you let it happen.
You've let it. But you know what? You're sick of it. You're really and truly sick of it.
"This is the last time," he says, "I swear."
But that's what he said every other time. That's what he said every time that he's asked you out, and then when he dumped you a week, he never seemed to regret lying to you. Does he know that he's lying? Does he know that he's going to dump you a week later? Does he know you're setting yourself up to get hurt? Does he know that he's setting himself up to get hurt?
And why does he keep coming back to you anyway? Why can't he just realise that he's hurting you and leave you alone? Why can't he realise that?
Why do you keep saying yes? That's the real question. Why do you keep saying yes, even though you know he's going to hurt you?
Is it love?
Do you love him?
Do you even know what love is?
And why does he keep coming back to you?
Is it love?
Does he love you?
Is that why he keeps coming back to you?
You don't know.
"Why?" you whisper.
There's no answer. He couldn't hear you.
"Rose," he say, "Come outside. I want to talk to you." You don't move. You don't want to hear what he has to say anymore. He's done nothing for the last few years but hurt you. Why would you want to hear anything he has to say?
"No," you say, loud enough so he could hear you.
And you are free.
A/N-For the Ultimate Taylor Swift Competition with The Last Time, the Red Challenge, also with The Last Time, and the Stretch Your Limits Challenge with Rose/Scorpius, the title "No So Perfect Paradise," and the quote "All good things come to an end, so I try to forget this could blow up in our faces."
