An Da Wiener Is..., Christian and Aksana, crack/comedy. I do not own them.

Using Aksana's ring name because I can't spell her real name...

Any mistakes are of my own, there was no beta reader.


Jay sat up on his knees, breathless but satisfied with himself as his losing opponent rolled out of the ring without so much as a word or an acknowledgement.

"An da wiener is Chriss-tan!" Aksana announced through the microphone. Jay stopped relishing in his moment and looked over at Aksana. Did she just call him a wiener? He got up and walked over to her.

"Did you just call me a wiener, Aksana?" He asked, placing his hands on his hips and looking at her questionably. She shook her head no, placing the microphone back to her lips.

"No. I didn't call you a wiener. I said you were da wiener." She answered, looking back at him.

"Aksana, that's the same thing; wiener."

She shook her head again. "No. I say wiener. Because you weened da match." She blinked innocently at him. Jay made an odd face.

"No, I'm the winner. Winner, Aksana, not wiener. I am not a wiener."

"But you are da wiener though. Because you weened da match. So I call you da wiener." She repeated herself. He shook his head, quite furiously I might add.

"No. A wiener is something that you put on a hot dog bun or something. I am the winner. Say it with me, Aksana. Winner." He instructed, emphasizing the action with his hands. She nodded.

"Wiener."

"Winner."

"Wiener."

"No. Winner."

"…wiener." Jay threw his hands up, spinning around slightly in order to collect himself. He ran his hand down over his face and turned back to face Aksana.

"Can you say win? The first three letters of winner, win?" He asked her instead. She smiled and nodded her head.

"Of course." She answered. "Ween." Jay just stared at her, blinking.

"Win."

"Ween."

"You had no problem saying llama, why is win so hard?" Jay asked, half to himself, half to Aksana. She smiled.

"Oh I can say llama." She stated, happily.

"Yes, I know you can. But we are working on winner."

"But I can say wiener." Jay lightly slapped his face with his hand - this situation called for a literal face palm. He slid his hand down his face again. "So Chriss-tan, are you goin' to get out da ring yet?" She asked him. He looked at her, his arms now crossed, furrowing his eyebrows. "You weened da match, so da next one will start-"

"You can't even say my name right either. It's Christian." He interrupted, throwing his hands up once more and headed for the ropes. "And I am not a wiener!" He shouted before climbing out of the ring. Aksana blinked, speaking in to the microphone again.

"Of course you're not. You're da wiener."


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