A/N: Hi there! I just want to let anyone who's reading this know that this is my attempt to get back into FF after a long, busy year at college. Forgive me if it's a little slow to start. Anything you recognize isn't mine, and I definitely don't own Glee.


Day One:

Today is the first time I post on here. It's strange. I was never the sort of kid who had a diary, so forgive me being a little awkward at the start. My name is Kurt, and I'm trying to remain as anonymous as possible so no last name. I started this whole blogging thing as an escape. I can be myself online, right? Because I sure can't in real life. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'd be much happier if I stopped being myself. If I tried a little harder to fit in, I wouldn't be as miserable. But I'm stubborn, and won't let anyone stop me from being me. It's a curse.

I suppose I should put it out there at the start that I'm gay. Feel free to stop reading at this point. Don't bother sending me horrible messages about my sexuality, because there's nothing I haven't heard before, trust me. Usually, when I tell people about being gay they start with the insults or the physical violence. I'm sick of taking their crap, but what can I do? I refuse to hide my sexuality, since it's a part of me. I didn't ask for this, but I refuse to hide.

Next year, I'll be moving to New York, which has to be better than here. For now, I'll power through it, my head held high. It's just six months to graduation. I can do this. Soon I'll be living it up in the city where dreams come true. It's been a fantasy of mine since I was a little boy to get out of here. There's nothing in this boring town for me. Besides my tiny family, and maybe the thrift shops, I won't miss this place a bit.

It's not all bad. I have friends, and a supportive family. I have a step-brother who has finally started sticking up for me and we're now closer than ever. He's really great. He started out as another small minded jerk, but he's learning. There's…I suppose I need to change their names, right? There's a girl called…Ruth. She's a little hard to bear, but I'd be lost without her. She's sort of my idol, always holding her head high and ignoring the bullies. She won't let them stop her, and I try to be the same.

There's Maria too. She'd hate that I called her that. She's the best. She's like a sister to me, and I'll really miss her next year once I move. She's going to LA, working on an album or something exciting like that. We all know she'll be a star too. As will half of the Glee club, but not me. I'm not exactly that type. Sure, I can sing, and dance, and /I/ know I'm talented, but no one would ever consider me for a role. I want to be on Broadway too, but I need to be realistic.

Of course, I need to mention my dad. He's my absolute rock. I honestly don't know what I'd do without him. He's so accepting of everything that I am, and is always telling me to be myself. I wish he could come to New York with me, since he's the one I'll miss the most. I guess I can fly home, and he can come out, but it won't be the same. I guess everything will change next year. Some of those changes I am so ready for, and others, not so much. I have a few months to prepare though.

The point of this blog is to get my thoughts out there. Even though I don't expect anyone to be reading this, I felt like I needed to give some background. I've read some other people's blogs, and I see that a lot of people leave comments for them. I guess I'd be fine with that, as long as no one from school finds this. That would be a catastrophe, since this is my only safe space. It sucks that I feel I /need/ a safe space, but I'm just one guy. How could I change that? I'd probably be murdered if I tried.

So, to recap. My life sucks and I'm going to write about how much it sucks now. Welcome. I hope my morbid posts doesn't put off anybody who's actually reading this. I need to feel like I have someone to confide in right now. I need a friend. I can at least pretend this is the same thing, right? I keep noticing that I'm asking questions in this. I need to work on that. No one is answering, Kurt. No one cares.

This is me signing off then. I guess I'll be back soon, with something a little more lively than this. Right now, I'm about to have a boring night, and do some homework, then fill in some college applications. I swear, if I don't get to New York there has been no point in putting up with all this crap. I should think positive though, and not think about what might happen if I don't get in. I /will/ be living in New York, and going to school at my dream college this time next year. I have to.

Anyway, I've gone off point a little. I was saying goodbye. I'll try and post something at least once a week, but I'll probably post a little more often if I get a particularly nasty beating or hear a new, creative, insult. Talk soon? How does one end these? I'm just going to go.

This is me awkwardly signing off,

Kurt.


(1) New comment:

Blanderson: Courage.


So, there's the first chapter. It's nothing too special, but the story starts to kick in in the next few chapters. Also, this is fairly short, and I promise the chapters will start to get longer. Reviews are definitely welcome, and thanks for reading :)