Nameless Little Thing

05/13/14

. . . . .

It was a nameless little thing, the one between the two of us, the harmless little affection we shared, the discreet smiles and gentle caresses. We never really bothered to label it, no one bother to question it anyway. I never knew what it was and I probably won't, and it's my greatest regret that I didn't name it when I had the chance to.

It was a sweet little thing, you would probably be surprised to hear this, but I miss it terribly. It was like a little child that slowly wormed its way in and stayed there, plucking my heart stings in tune with your fingers as they flutter through the keys. Until now it still brings a little ache in my chest and a few tears in my eyes as it plays its sad melody by itself, missing its lovely accompaniment.

I wonder… the thought of what happened plagues my countless nights, leaving me awake and sleepless. I wonder, what happened? I knew how it happened and why, but I wonder what happened. You're the one who was so adamant on the idea of pledging forever, and I was really half-expecting myself to be the one to first draw away, but I promised you didn't I? And I stayed-I stood there behind you because there's already someone standing beside you, even though you gave me a role that entails me to be the one next to you. I kept my promise on my own little way; tying loose ends, polishing your act, managing your affairs, you just refused to turn back and see me. You became too preoccupied with her-which was fine until she took you all away, and even with the little time you spent with me, your thoughts still lingers on her-and that drove me crazy. That's why it pains me when you accused me of drifting away when you were clearly the one who pushed me and clearly tore himself away. But who was I to blame you? You didn't really promise me anything. Now I'm really wondering if we really saw each other in the same light, or it's just me who misinterpreted your kind gestures to something special.

I remember the loving gazes we shared, like we share a secret from the world. The tiniest smiles and the backhanded insults that bears adoration beyond words. I remember the way you'd drag me out of my solitude early in the morning just to snap me out of my dusky slumber; because a demon never dreams, it's always a nightmare. And you'd show me how beautiful the flowers are in the morning, abloom or not, and how warm it is outside. And even when the rain drizzles you'd show me how pure and innocent we can be and how carefree we should be, because the world doesn't really lay its burden on us, but we chose to weight ourselves down and pride ourselves for taking much. You taught me to cut the string attached and soar with head held high, you peeled the layers and layers of disguise and revealed a human out of a monster. You'd tell me countless stories of senseless fairy tales, and make me understand the language of love even if my brain can't decipher a word from it.

I remember the silent conversation we had, the small naps behind closed doors and the serene afternoons spent leafing pages under the tree, with your head on my lap or mine leaning on your shoulder as the sun soars high and the robin's tune serenades us with her solo lullaby. I remember the nights spent under the blanket of darkness, wishing on diamonds and hoping to spell our names with them. I remember the way we lie there, with your head on my chest, listening to the irregular beatings beneath the ice, telling you I'm still alive.

But what I'll never forget; is how your bottomless pools would stare at mine with longing, adoration and love that surely filled the void that deprived me of humanity. I'd never forget the way your laughter bubbles from you chest and the way it rings pleasantly in my ears and how child-like it sounded, and I hope it would stay that way and that you'd always lighten the world with your giggles and mischievous smiles. I'd never forget the way you shield me with your embrace and how perfectly content I could be in your arms. And the way you caress my head and how you slowly thawed the ice in my heart with your warm affection, because that's just how love is; it takes time and effort and genuine affection, not abrupt crashes and falls, not empty words and promises, nor carelessly thrown intimacies. It's built slow, painfully slow, with shaky foundation to be strengthened and nurtured.

Perhaps we lost time for each other, or we ran out of words to say. Perhaps we put up too many fake smiles and empty words to satisfy others, that we lost the genuine essence of it, and she brought it back to you. Maybe you just got tired of me, or maybe because you found someone worth your affection, someone who can easily return them that's why you withdrew and forgot what we had. Maybe it was easier to be with her and you felt more yourself around her. Maybe she brought the best out of you, the way that I wasn't able to. Maybe it's still there, just buried deep and overshadowed by your affections for her. Nonetheless, it doesn't make it any less sad and sound hollow. I still can't blame you though, because you didn't promise me anything. It was a sweet thing what we had, but it left a bitter aftertaste.

You know that nameless little thing, that fragile little thing we shared, the one that meant the world to me; it's barely there now, broken. I gently cradled it in my hands for the last time, as it wept, before I laid it down to be buried deep in my heart and never to be fixed again.


Okay, so here I am. Writing KyouTama fics after reading them for more than a week now, it's the only way I can get it out of my system. I swear I might have read around 1/2 or more of them.

Anyway, thanks to all who read the story, I know there are a lot of better stories similar to this out there. And I know Kyouya is very OC, but hey I want to portray him in a new light. And I believe even ice pricks can also be damn poetic when they chose to. Review will help please …

Ummm … yes! Disclaimer. I solemnly swear that I don't own anything, or else Kyouya's private police thingy can escort me away.

Good day/night!